Eeny meeny miniMo: The accidental head master and the prefect.
Warning: This post contains mixed metaphors.
As fellow big biz ‘doucheland über alles’ nasties Gladdy Berejiklian and Scooter Morrison have much in common but I cannot imagine they’d ever be friends – I mean, FFS, the guy is mates with Stuart Robert who has to submit proof of life once a month and Alex Hawke (somewhere there’s a hole missing its toad). And Glad knows the “evil bully” Scooter, in his typically treacherous backgrounding of her, has her name pencilled in on his crowded bus schedule.
Not so much Daggy Dad™ as creepy Uncle Weirdo, Scooter is a particular class of odious; one that requires a complex logistical web to sanitise for public consumption. In contrast Gladdy comes across as an unaffected prissy head prefect and sanctimonious goody two-shoes who, at assembly, wants us all to please know that she’s been let down by the rough crowd’s bad behaviour of locking the doors and hiding the keys (looking at you Andrews, McGowan and Pałaszczuk).
Much to Scooter’s chagrin, Glad came through the bushfire crisis undamaged (provided we whisper that bit about her slashing of the firefighting capabilities of Fire and Rescue, the RFS and NP&WS). Mind you, compared to Scooter’s cowardly abandonment and transparently desperate PR recovery campaign a goat on a unicycle would look in control.
The relationship between these two provides some amusement if you take your humour black. The evidence is in that Glad despises Morrison – after all, what’s not to despise. Here’s a creep who exploited an archived photo from a memorial service for kids killed by a drunk driver to disguise a secret trip for Fathers Day during lockdown and package his narcissistic, sociopathic self as Dutiful Dad.
For her part, Glad has never claimed celestial endorsement, indulged in furtive touchies of unsuspecting disaster victims, spent lockdown with a personal photographer, displayed a telling lack of curiosity about too-close-to-home rape allegations, suggested that March4Justice protestors should be grateful they weren’t shot, had a QAnon BFF or proposed a “multibillion-dollar program to build new mass detention facilities in Australia for asylum seekers who were living in the community on bridging visas” (remind you of a particular, historical precedent anyone…anyone?). The list of this guy’s awfulness is far too long to indulge here in a rant that started out as a piss-take of Gladdy Two-shoes… I’ll move on.
Gladdy is not looking for a house to haunt, rather that signature tormented, mournful expression of hers has served her well when confronted with uncomfortable questions. When under ICAC scrutiny of dodgy deals it came to light that Dirty Dazza McGuire had been pizzling her mimsy the sympathy flowed all Glad’s way. The mums of NSW tut-tutted and tsk-tsked that Dazza had done her wrong – perhaps remembering their own deflowering by a big-noting deadbeat behind a nightclub dumpster? That’s unfair. I’ll venture into the dangerous territory of mansplaining by suggesting it’s probably natural sympathy for a woman making it in the testosterone-laden world of politics in a party for whom misogyny is a KPI.
What is becoming apparent is that her Miss Prissy has way more in common with Morrison’s Foghorn Leghorn than just compliance with the traditional Tory practices of pandering to wealth interests, unapologetic rorting, corruption, flogging of public assets and exploitation of our natural and historical heritage.
The chutzpah of trumpeting abject failures as triumphs, the hubris, the gaslighting and the testiness at being challenged – these are not from the Introduction To Utter Bastardry guidebook that is Tory essential reading. It’s Ms 55% as she really is, snickering in a press conference about the possibility of Delta spreading to Labor states, comfortable with the notion that some, the disposables, are to be sacrificed at the alter of mammon.
She’s no Jacinda Ardern, nor an Angela Merkel, she’s not Julia Gillard’s example for young women, she’s just a gold standard mini-Mo surrounded by a claque of morally bankrupt grifters championing the failed neo-con experiment to corporatise society; previous metaphors aside, she’s the frog to Morrison’s scorpion in a strange pact of mutually assured destruction should the Delta run rampant and sink Morrison’s re-election chances and shred her reputation.
Gladys may not be as reprehensible as Morrison but lately she’s been giving it her best shot.
“They’ll have funerals, but people will be able to attend them.” Scott Morrison.
“That’s some pretty weird shit.” George Dubya Bush.
“It’s the vibe of the thing.” Dennis Denuto.
This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.
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