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I see dud people

Australians all lettuce rejoice

They may have dropped the constant, asinine, look-at-moi dress-ups of the moronic galoot but they’ve not abandoned the concept entirely. It’s now band camp for the miffed – the smirking, one man band in hi-viz has morphed into collective, performative outrage to feed to a conflict-hungry media pack.

Their chutzpah is admirable – their acting skills not so much.

High dudgeon from the scolds seems to be the key theme for the Tories right now, filling the void of their miserable, ideas-free existence. The entitled, senior girls’ hockey team from St Salubrious School for Pretentious Mingers’ rampage through the lolly shop ended at the check-out when the electorate, insufficiently whelmed, refused their credit cards. And they’re not happy.

Proving that awfulness is no longer gendered in the “natural party of government” the ladies ga-ga is a rich pallette of Prus and Trudes, trolley ragers, flabbagers and dimwits.

Whine sommelier Sussan Ley, taking advantage of her natural expression of perpetual bewilderment is the ladies’ team captain – sooking and sulking and blowing snot bubbles at her media displays of disaffection. Rather than gravitas her performances convey a tone of ‘a few too many slides down the banisters’. LeyZ has assumed the mantle of national whinger from the bright red dipstick from Queensland, deciding that constant complaint is an easier gig than regaining credibility through, here’s an idea, actual thought and effort.


I see dud people (Haley Joel Osment from The Sixth Sense)


The Tories have two major problems (well, that is apart from their record of corruption, incompetence and depravity). Bullying and misogyny is their brand. Their game plan so far is to accuse the dog of farting – pointing the finger at Labor for their own failings, where their every accusation is a confession. Their latest, rather too obvious ploy was to accuse Albo of shouting at one of their own. These are the crumb maidens from the Ditch The Witchers, the party that believes it is owed some gratitude for not shooting women protesters, the party of accused rapists, up-skirters, sexual harrassers and desk-jizzers. Their <eye roll> faux indignation </eye roll> is at a pantomime level of authenticity.

The Team Karen line up is a dial-up modem in a broadband world – squawky, slow, unreliable and not fit for purpose:

While not present at Operation Finger Albo it was good to see a return to form of Michaelia Blah Stupenda Cash who’s fully invested in her own well-paid ‘kick-the-workers-in-the-nuts’ persona, complaining loudly (obv.) that any concession to those worst off would “broing Astroiya to its knoise“.

Bam Bam McKenzie always looks as if she’s been dragged from storage in a cardboard box under George Christensen’s bed. Changing gears without using the clutch has loosened Bam Bam’s grasp on reality, or perhaps it’s her Trumpian version of alternative facts when complaining of the kyboshing of her sport rorts (i.e. theft of public money) followed her declaration that “Australians have no tolerance for corruption in sport”.

Holly Hughes – a Joan of snark and what a UTI would look like if a bag of flour blew up in its face, is a self-righteous windbag of no identifiable achievements beyond complaints that Labor has not yet fixed nine years of Tory theft and incompetence.

Jane Hume, with the obsequious eagerness of a head prefect, would happily serve the canapés at a puppy drowning if directed to do so by the Big Swinging Dicks club. Linda Reynolds of “lying cow” infamy is as suspect as a scoutmaster’s lolly bag when it comes to credibility on bullying. Sarah Henderson, Anne Ruston, Melissa Price, Nola Marino and the anonymous et als of the backbench were all complicit in the illegal hounding of Centrelink recipients that went far beyond bullying. None has any credibility nor a sense of shame.

Meanwhile in the UK, thick Lizzie’s 4.1 Scaramuccis as PM, outlasted by a leafy vegetable, you’d think would have set a low water mark for Tories. A neoliberal dogmatist crashing the world’s 6th largest economy in just one day with her Hayekian brain farts had the Tory press rapidly dropping Truss from their Christmas card list.

Here in Oz within a global conservative shift to crazy we can be grateful our RWFW vegie patch is now no more than bubble and squeak; left-overs pushed to the side and largely ignored. Our version of Liz Truss is reduced to bleating her whinges to an audience that has lost interest <cue sad trombone>.


* * * * * * *

Good read: UK’s Tory papers call it: it’s Boris! No, wait… Crikey


This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. Harry Lime

    Beautifully said again Grumpy always look forward to your sage excisions, well articulated for us less endowed with cut throat wit.It’s a snapshot of sour strumpets vying for harridan of the week,and it’ll be a photo finish.It would be hard to imagine the party of towering fuckwits getting worse,but ,give them their dues, they’re having a crack..so to speak.Don’t know about UTI’s,but they sure look like they’re sporting badly fitted IUD’s,..or is that IED’s?

  2. New England Cocky

    Well Grumpy, there is little any body could add to your complete demolition of the underwhelming Lying Lizzies Fan Club.

    SusSsan LayZ appears destined to become the Life Deputy Leader of His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition in support of Boofhead, the Life appointed Leader of His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition. This must occur because there is even less talent among either the Shadow Ministry or Opposition Back Bench.

    Jane Hausfrau is a possible contender should she decide to buy the room, but with Bronnie in the Nazional$ ther would appear to be little else available ….. or suitable.!!

  3. Mortimer Snerd

    I duckduckgo’d flabbager and the only return was a link to this article. For the benefit of all bright red QLD’er dipsticks please explain.

  4. Grumpy Geezer

    Mr. Snerd,

    Google flabbage.

    A flabbager is one characterised by flabbage.


  5. Mortimer Snerd

    Thank you Mr G, my paraphrasing then in this context would be cellulite parasite.

  6. Kathryn

    Once again, a very true and revealing exposé of the worst, most corrupt, self-serving and elitist regime in living memory! The crawling, callously inhumane political psychopaths, undemocratic fascists, alpha-male misogynists and xenophobic white supremacist racists that inhabit every dark corner of the LNP have NEVER – and WILL NEVER – achieve a single thing to benefit our nation! Like the LNP’s hero and role model: the deplorable misogynistic, megalomaniacal narcissist, Donald Trump – the ONLY thing the LNP have managed to do in almost ten years of toxic, non-achieving mismanagement of our nation, is to make Australia HATE again.

    Fortunately, the huge majority of Australians could, at last, see through the LNP’s nauseating facade of sanctimonious bible-thumping hypocrisy. Indeed it became impossible for those depraved, misogynistic right-wing extremists in the LNP to hide their self-serving level of corruption and self-absorbed, depravity under that cloak of hypocrisy and, in the end, Australians became justifiably disgusted by the LNP and, understandably, kicked them to the gutter which is right where they belong! The LNP, once again, were recognised as appalling, cruel and diabolical elitists who failed to hide their barely-disguised hatred for anyone who wasn’t white, anglo-saxon, male or a signed-up billionaire member of their favourite donors in the Top 1%.

    God help us all if that sadistic sociopath – and his unspeakably depraved cabinet – ever rises to rule over us like some megalomaniacal dictator in a third-world nation! The current cabinet of the Dutton/Morrison-led LNP are, indeed, the most depraved pack of political psychopaths this egalitarian nation has ever seen – or is likely to see! Let’s ALL hope and pray that the callously inhumane, robotic psychopath, Dutton, REMAINS in Opposition INDEFINITELY.

  7. New England Cocky

    OOOOOOO Kathryn ….. I love it when you talk accurately about the self-serving, depraved, adulterous, alcoholic, amoral ”borne-to-rule” pollies now infesting the Opposition benches for the immediate future (….. and indeed much longer!!)

    But spare a thought for the Australian voters who elected them to Parliament. Did the voters choose their COALition candidates as a reflection of themselves and their personal values?

  8. Kathryn

    Thank you New England Cocky! I have just realised that there isn’t enough negative adjectives in any Thesaurus, in any language, that can adequately describe just how evil, inhumane and self-serving the LNP – and their rusted-on, totally gormless, Murdoch-manipulated, racist supporters – really are!

    Anyone with an IQ >10 has always known just how depraved the lying, conniving sociopaths in the LNP are – and have ALWAYS been. However, the last federal election revealed one POSITIVE thing, ie that even some of their most rigidly manipulated supporters were so clearly sickened by the LNP’s long, slow slip into total degradation, that even they decided to “jump ship” and vote for the Teal (or other) political parties other than the LNP! Considering that the WORST of them all – Herr Demon Dutton – is now representing the most despicable pack of borderline fascists in the country, this is a good sign that moderate LNP-supporters may collaborate with ALP supporters to keep such xenophobic, hate-fuelled right-wing extremists out of our ruling government!

    During the reign of the pathological liar and signed-up member of the Catholic misogynistic Mafia, Phoney Abbott, it became clear that the LNP no longer represented women, no longer appealed to the huge majority of our multicultural society, couldn’t give a toss about anyone who was poor, sick or, in any way, vulnerable and had become progressively more corrupt, more inhumane and more elitist. The sh*t really hit the fan under the appalling, callous and reprehensible mismanagement of that notorious Horizon cultist, Morrison and, just when everyone thought it couldn’t get worse, the LNP – in their usual style of nominating the worst, most deplorable psychopaths in their midst to mismanage them into oblivion – decided to nominate the Demon Dutton to take over leadership like some deplorable Behemoth!

    The ONE positive thing about Demon Dutton taking over as the notorious fascist leader of the LNP, is that (hopefully) if this egalitarian nation has any intelligence, compassion or foresight at all, then the hate-fuelled LNP will stay in OPPOSITION for a long, long time!

  9. Michael Taylor

    Don’t ever be happy, GG. I love it when you’re grumpy. 😀

  10. GL

    Coming soon, Peter Dutton in “The Whining of the Spuds” (with apologies to Thomas Harris).

  11. ajogrady

    Once you strip away the blatant ingrained insidious and systemic corruption, the obvious and absolutely consistent poor judgement, the culpable and dangerous incompetence, the continual deception and the constant distortion, the endless creations of laws and opportunities to suppress and stifle contrary debate, the flagrant sneaky and self serving promotion of religious faith at the expense of political integrity, the erroneous attempts to hamper voting, the anger and disgust generated by cutting and running leaving our Afghani comrades in arms to their fate, the crippling of living standards, the devious and unfettered betrayal of Australias sovereignty to the US, the culpable treachery in the ruination of good international trade and international relations, the trashing of Australias good international reputation, the shambolic and totally inept governance standards, the deceitful marketing spin and hypocritical sloganeering plus being a constant and continuous impediment to Australia and Australians reaching their true potential what does the L/ NP actually stand for? What is left? What is left is a snide, sneering, sniping, selfish, smug and contemptuous ideology that nurtures, coddles and promotes corrupt to the core thugs, swindlers, chiselers, fraudsters, shysters, cheats and con artists, solicitors of anonymous brown paper bag donations, pathetic debauched degenerates and perverted misogynistic misfits, pseudo Christian cult wack jobs, fanatical religious lunatics, QAnon advocates, cowardly saber rattling war mongering hawks, sadistic and selfish economic vandals, problamatic climate skeptic fundamentalists, environmental saboteurs and desecrators, first nations people apathetic Judases, handicappers to the handicapped, oppressors of the needy and the disadvantaged, enablers of the obscenely wealthy parasitic profiteers, drunken lecherous fornicators and provocateurs plus egotistical born to rule privilaged narcissistic sociopaths and psychopaths that are devoid of standards, principles, values, morals, ethics, honesty, and basic empathy always rorting, stealing, fiddling, fudging, obfuscating and basically out and out blatant lying while being protected by a maliciously biased, pathetic sycophantic and delusional media.
    Influenced by professional predatory lobbyists whores and directed by crooked callous conservative think tanks whose shadowy underbelly of criminality makes Ned Kelly look like a gentleman. The L/NP not only do not represent most Australians but do not respect them.
    Members of the L/NP are selfish corrupt cowardly sooks of, at best, average talent. They are defined by their privilage and family connections that explains their mediocrity. Merit and ability is always a secondary consideration when deceit and deception is considered meritorious and rat cunning and a Machiavellian character is considered ability.
    The L/NP have managed to create a massive trust deficit not only domestically but internationally that has left Australias once good reputation in tatters and Australia is now bordering on pariah state status. “Private and confidential” is a misnomer to the L/NP. Diplomacy, critical thinking and cause and effect are foreign concepts to the L/NP. These failings will have or result in dire consequences and outcomes for Australia and Australians. In particular the L/NP believe that success is the ability to go from one total failure to another total failure with no loss of enthusiasm or any sign of a guilty conscience or any shame.The L/NP not only rewards lethargic sneaks, cheats and sly back stabbers but consider mediocrity as their gold standard.
    The L/NP are an insult to equitable governance standards and egalitarian rule. The L/NP are not fit to hold any form of public office in a functioning, vibrant nation that is a cohesive humane society. Australia was built on the egalitarian theme of “a fair go” for all where “the greater good” is paramount to its fundamental beliefs. These values created strong and proud foundations that builds better futures for the many not just the few. These strong ethical values are an anomaly and an aberration to the L/NP. Somebody once said that Fascism comes wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
    Enough is enough.
    Australians dont need “can do” capitalism they need a “can do” government.
    Nine years of the insanity, turmoil and malfeasance that masqueraded as governance by the L/NP has seen Australia become barely recognisable as the once great egalitarian nation it once was.
    Australians have got to stop voting against there own best interests or they will forever be remembered as the people from the land of boiling frogs.
    Lest we forget.

    The rot began with John Howard

    Myth of Coalition govts: Howard the biggest spender of all


  12. Andrew James Smith

    Pathetic, and concerning if one observes how many good ‘conservative’ people and politicians, especially US, UK & Oz, have sunk so low on ethics and morals following, likes of Abbott, using the old GOP expression ‘whatever it takes’; maybe masking a massive inferiority complex and outright psychosis? David Brooks in the Atlantic describes US conservatives as such….

    By supporting RWNJs, crazy Christians, think tank policies economic & immigration informed by eugenics, conspiracy theories, corporate bullies, astroturfing, SLAPPs, regressive social policies, climate science denial, even hero worshipping authoritarians whether Trump, Orban or Putin and outright corruption whether financial or electoral.

    Despite their high profile, their media is broken (one hopes in Oz three proprietors inherit ‘a monopoly of stranded assets’, like fossil fuels), but many conservatives’ autocratic attitudes are contradicted by their passivity around their own side (or fear of?), hence constant need for enemies and existential threats to hold it together, real &/or confected.

  13. Canguro

    Another good post from ajogrady. A bit of formatting would have improved it for easier reading, slab text is never easy, break apart into paragraphs for emphasis and comprehension, but otherwise, a good effort.

  14. Paul Smith

    So gathers the tribe of Jolly to roll in the aisles, split their sides, laugh their heads off, die laughing, or, to put it simply, to express amusement by smiling and emitting loud inarticulate sounds. My near disappointment in this rollick is that you didn’t say that Albo was accused of bowling a maiden over. “Flogged with a wet lettuce leaf” has acquired a delizzious new texture, especially when served with truss tomatoes.

  15. pierre wilkinson

    such confected outrage is simply unbelievable from the party of “she must go”, “ditch the witch” and their treatment of Gillian Triggs et al, especially in light of the parliamentary video clearly showing the offended minister laughing along with all and sundry, prior to suddenly becoming aware of an opportunity to lambast Albo as a bully
    media coverage and indignant, angry commenters further astound objective onlookers wondering wtf is this all about?

  16. Spunty

    And of course, the MSM whores tried to make it a story, reporting without question the misogyny of Albo, highlighting the tears and confected outrage of those coalition anti feminists. Somehow, they missed the footage of Michelle Landry laughing tears of mirth, before turning them into tears of pretend victimhood. Deliberately, I’d suggest, after all, never let the truth get in the way of an opportunity for a bit of Labor bashing. That Australian voters continually kick themselves in the nads by voting in Liberal governments containing these intellectual duds and sociopaths, far more often than (slightly) more progressive ones, has always been a source of bemusement to me. As has that old media still has any customers buying their crap.

  17. Michael Taylor

    They’re presstitutes, Spunty.

  18. Terence Mills

    Pauline Hanson tells lions to ‘piss off back to Africa’

    The Shovel on the ball again :

  19. Geoff Andrews

    Suggest “Buffhead” might be a more accurate description for Dick Tater?

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