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Submarines and Parking Tickets, and High Farce in the ‘No’ campaign

A waft of V05 and humbug hung in the air when the tinnitus in a trouser suit that is Michaelia Cash was handed the drivel shtick for the Tories’ latest FUD campaign – their vilification du jour being the Indigenous Voice to Parliament. “Thoil innerfear with our summaroines ‘n’ parggin’ tiggeds, moite. Anythink they doan loike thoil toike to the hoi cawt. Air cunnry will go to the dorgs” intoned Blah Stupenda in a strident tirade of sanctimonious cant and poorly disguised bigotry (I may have paraphrased a tad given the semi-intelligible, high velocity boganese of ol’ Helmet Hair but the tone is authentic).

In the absence of ideas, vision, empathy or morals it was a given that Schrödinger’s Opposition, in desperate attempts at relevance, would oppose all government initiatives – but the Voice was a gimme for their ‘open tongs in the kitchen drawer’ attitude to fairness and decency. The profusion of flight risks that is their party room has awoken to the notion that their repertoire of punching down, dog-whistling to racists, provoking culture wars, terrifying the tremulous, deceiving the ignorant and cultivating the stupid could all be weaponised for the one issue they’ll take to the Führer bunker. In the midst of the Coalition’s existential crisis, keeping the Blackfellas in their place is THE issue the Libs are prepared to fight for survival on.

And no ‘No’ campaign would be complete without the presence of Captain No himself – Tony “Strop” Abbott, flicking his tongue and licking his eyeballs and giving creedence to the notion that lizard people do walk amongst us. Crusader Rabid has joined the fray to deploy the same level of watery stools that passed for policy in the Credlin-Abbott “government” (sic) – destroying the nation-building NBN and carbon neutrality, and the cringe-de-la-cringe, his knighting of a foreign monarch’s consort. The most laughable aspect of Tone’s argument, and that’s quite the challenge, is that this forelock tugging, knee-bending arch-monarchist thinks that hearing disenfranchised Indigenous citizens’ opinions is akin to annointing them with House of Lords status. This is fish looking for a barrel stuff.

They’ll bow and scrape to the monarch of a foreign land, they’ll profess “humble affection” and “obedience” to the head of England’s special breeding program for hooray-Henries, chinless wonders, lords and nobles, they will prostrate themselves before inherited privilege who “cannot be other than a member of the Anglican Church, can never be other than British and can never be an Indigenous person.” They’ll listen to lobbyists, they’ll hear the rent seekers, they’ll take note of the carpet baggers and grifters but they’ll continue to ignore those most deserving of a sympathetic hearing.

They don’t belong in Opposition. They belong in the discards pile of too-offensive pub trivia questions.

* * * * *

Michaelia Cash: Why Liberals won’t support Indigenous Voice to Parliament. The West Australian. Shovel this bullshit on your roses.

Supporting a YES vote. University of Melbourne.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.


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  1. pierre wilkinson

    excellent, if brief
    as I am fond of saying to those in doubt about the Voice referendum….
    look at who is against it and ask yourself “would you vote for their recommendations?”

  2. andyfiftysix

    when i heard Tony was giving evidence and was loudly proclaiming for the No, i had to stop for a moment and think, what a narcisist. On reflecting, he just dug his own personal hole a few feet further towards china. who the fuck doesnt listen to him and say, yea that would be right, NO is his only claim to fame.

  3. New England Cocky

    Grumpy ….. I am disappointed. Here you have had an ideal opportunity to give Toxic RAbbott both barrels of select invective and all you have achieved is a mere swipe at his chronic uncaring self-motivated morbid stupidity.

    But ”strop” properly belongs to the late Paul Hogan off-sider not a half-baked chronic idiot politician who sells out his country attempting to buy influence with Europe’s most dysfunctional family of grifters.
    And what about the Haradan from Hell ….. she of the grating tone and indifferent abilities regardless of the political offices to which she was promoted without merit. Blah Stupenda and Helmet Hair are hardly your best offerings.
    Certainly we can reasonably expect former POM RAbbott to bend the knee and swear subservience to Charlie Chuckles, and all resident POMS should be required to swear allegiance to the Australian Republic or be transported back to Bliney where the Royalists parasitise the society.

  4. Roswell

    You’ve done it again, Grumpy. Made my day, that is.

  5. Grumpy Geezer

    Come on Cocky…Blah Stupenda is pretty good. 😛

  6. Paul Smith

    I never understood how/why PRINCE Phillip, the DUKE of Edinburgh, the Elizabethan CONSORT (could there be a more exalted role/status for a bloke without an actual job?) thought a Bunyip Nightcap added to his prestige/stature, until I heard about the brazen connivance between his First Born, the soon to be Spanier Breeder in Chief III, and that ignominious turkey in a top hat occupying Yarralumna as the vice buccaneer during the Whitlam Republic. But the clues were there all along. His sexist and racist outbursts were the real measure of a bikie in robes – a foul mouthed grub that would swallow any McTribute offered by a fawning galah. (Apologies to bikies and galahs)

  7. margcal

    That M Cash piece is a gross distortion of the facts.
    Liberal ill-will is blatantly obvious for all to see.
    Someone should tell them, if they want kudos – vote YES.

  8. Clakka

    What could anyone expect from the Loser Nasty Party. Typical of them, a divisive proposal to render a diffuse Voice to a legislative bill that can be amended, made dysfunctional or cancelled at the whim of any Tom, Dick or Harry, and to only empower the deaf ears, manipulated purses, and bias and bigotry of local and regional governing clubs of supremacists.

    Their alleged proposal (of no detail whatsoever) represents no change to the obviously devious and dysfunctional status quo that saw generations of the Loser Nasty Party:
    – systematically ignore the Blackfellahs,
    – divert their funding and funding management to cabals of carpetbaggers and usurers,
    – deny their citizen’s rights,
    – misrepresent their culture(s) by designing and promulgating cruel racist fabrications as to Blackfellah capacity and intent,
    – accuse and blame Blackfellahs for the squalor and wretchedness wrought upon them by dispossession and whiteman’s abuse,
    – mobilise insurgents to diffuse Blackfellah unity so that corporations can pillage their resources,
    – then repeatedly send in pathetic preachers and armed and ignorant militia to inject conflict by further dismemberment of Blackfellah’ s 60 thousand year long successful management hierarchies, magnify humiliation, oppression and dispossession, and sweep a path to extinction.

    There is much irrefutable evidence that this was the ongoing m.o. of the LNP brutalists, and now, other than a trite score against Albanese, underlies the Loser Nasty Party naysayers’ ‘proposal’ – an ongoing treachery.

  9. leefe

    ” … tinnitus in a trouser suit … ” is the best personificiation of Michaelia Cash ever.

  10. Geoff Andrews

    Totally agree: pure poetry.

  11. GL

    Looking at the photo of the screeching harpy all I can think of is: “How dare…HOW DARE that vile little peasant look at me without my permission!”

  12. Brad Black

    Nice one Mr Geezer, but why did you include a photo of mickaya showing its pleasant face?

  13. frances goold

    Another clinically mendacious ex COALition clown, Barnaby Joyce, is currently busy shoring up some post-wilderness relevance and his chances of a comfy after-politics situation by slowly throttling the Winterbourne Wind Farm development at Walcha. That he must divide his community in the process is of little concern to a man for whom betrayal is second nature.

  14. Cool Pete

    Just as well Michaelia was giving a car-crash interview with the chief exponent of watery stools for ideas, Corgi Burn Wet Fart Arse. Anybody who could count among their ancestors a Chinese man who did not write English and who married a woman who could not read or write could have produced their marriage certificate that may have had the groom’s signature in Chinese characters and the bride’s signature as a cross, and that would have been acceptable. And it is true today that if an Anglo-Australian married a Chinese person, the Chinese party may have signed their name in Chinese characters, but if I had walked into the local registry office with my cat in his carry cage and said I wanted to get married, the celebrant would not say, “Can I have your cat’s pawprint on the certificate?” And, “I now pronounce you, cat and human marriage.”
    The Voice will NOT create a tricameral parliament. And another point that the other chief exponent of diarrhea passing as political policy’s right-hand backside, by name Malfunction Knob Head, used to reveal his ignorance was him claiming that the term “First Nations” demonstrates ignorance. The First Nations Australians lived in different countries on the continent. So, Malfunction Knob Head passed a ginormous wet fart that blew back and hit him in the nose.

  15. tess lawrence

    Gday Grumpy,

    …the tinnitus in a trouser suit that is Michaelia Cash – genius. Like the rest of the article.
    You are on fire, dear Geezer.

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