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The Best Form Of Charity Is To Be A Billionaire…

This morning I saw a headline suggesting that the Morrison government was proposing to make people wait longer for welfare. Before reading the article, I presumed that this was an admission of their economic failure. After all, haven’t we heard on multiple occasions that the best form of welfare is a job? Therefore, one would presume, that if people are having to wait longer for welfare, the government is suggesting that people will have to wait longer for a job.

However, I was wrong. Apparently, it was a proposal to increase the waiting time for people who had savings from a few weeks to six months. So much for if you have a go, you get a go. Ok, ok, I know that having no savings doesn’t necessarily mean that one isn’t “having a go”, but in the prosperity gospel according to Saint Scomo, surely punishing people who’ve saved runs contrary to one of the Commandments…

Anyway, it did get me thinking about the whole ridiculousness of the slogan “the best form of welfare is a job”. I know that I have previously suggested that one might as say the best form of medical treatment is not to get sick, but I suddenly realised exactly how vacuous the phrase actually is.

Ok, I’m a little slow…

For those equally slow, let’s take this a step at a time, and let’s oversimplify so that even National Party voters can follow.

Let’s imagine that it’s your child’s birthday and instead of giving him a present you tell him or her, “The best form of birthday is Christmas!’ When he or she asks where their present is, you reply that they’ll get their birthday present on Christmas.

“Isn’t that a Christmas present,” they ask.

“No,” you reply, “it’s the best form of birthday present because everyone gets one.”

Yes, that makes no sense, but it makes infinitely more sense than the Coalition’s attempt to use the ambiguity in the meaning of the word “welfare” in order to hide their lack of empathy… (While Scottie did reach a new level of absurd with “unfunded empathy”. While any increase needs to be funded, empathy is an emotion and, therefore, free. Would the phrases “unfunded patriotism” or “unfunded frustration” make any sense?)

When the Liberals suggest that the best form of welfare is a job, they are using the word “welfare” in a way that suggests that the health and happiness of someone unemployed would be better if they were to have a job, rather than “welfare” meaning financial support given to someone in need. While this is obvious enough, it’s only when we stop and use the word “welfare” in the question and replace the ambiguous word with something else that we get the full subtext.

“Will you be increasing welfare payments to the unemployed?”

“We believe that the best way of improving their situation would be to get them a job.”

“So how will you be getting them a job?”

“By telling them that if they have a go, they’ll get a go.”

“But what about the ones who still don’t get a job? Will you increase welfare payments to them?”

“No, because only a job will help them. Giving people financial support when they’re out of work is no substitute for that.”

“But what if they still don’t get a job?”

“Look, unemployment support is only meant to be a temporary thing, so if people don’t get a job, it’s their problem.”

If one were to apply this to other areas, it could make life a lot simpler. For example, next time someone comes asking for a charitable donation, instead of scrambling for your spare change, just say to them, “The best form of charity is for everyone to be a billionaire.”

Ok, it makes no sense, but they’ll probably just presume that you vote for the Coalition and are unlikely to ever want to help anyone in need.

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  1. New

    The best form of government is a Unity Coalition of Labor, the Greens and Cross Bench members sympathetic to achieving the best outcome for thew majority of Australian voters. All COALition members are excluded until they can demonstrate that they have repented their protection of pederast priests, voted against corporate welfare and tax minimisation schemes,supported grandfathering negative gearing for residential housing, banned government funding of private schools masquarading as academic institutions when in fact they are third rate child minding facilities and voted to stop fuel subsidies to petroleum explorers.

  2. Keitha Granville

    I like that New, it’s the way most of the progressive European governments function. Until we rid ourselves of the two party nonsense, and actually have a parliament that works together, nothing will change. I have always thought that once we have had an election, one side has been picked, we could save masses by sending all of the others home because they are pointless.

  3. king1394

    Centrelink already assesses your savings and will not provide benefits till you have exhausted them. For some reason, making people practically destitute is part of the plan. As the nice counter staff person told me when I lost my job, my Long Service entitlements would be enough to live on for the first six months.

  4. MikeW

    The best kind of welfare is to get a job as a politician. Around nine months of the year on holidays, free travel around Australia and overseas, most highly paid politicians in the western world, retire early on an overly generous pension plus all the lurks and perks, then leave parliament and get a cushy job with a private company that you have helped while in office.

    How good is Australia?

  5. Zathras

    If we all become billionaires, then who will be the “no-hopers” that Gerry Harvey refuses to waste charity on and how will Millionaire Charity tax scams like Personal Accumulation Funds work if there are no more charities to “support”?

    It makes more sense just to “get a good job that pays well” and be satisfied with that – or maybe we should heed Sean Micallef’s observation – “if the best form of welfare is a job then the best sort of job must be welfare”.

  6. ajogrady

    The ordinary Australian consumer is the collateral damage of an ever increasingly falling (nose diving) Australian dollar. The low Australian dollar impacts Australian consumers at the petrol pumps, all imported goods as well as where ever goods need to be transported. The double wammy is those increases caused by the low Australian dollar also affect the GST. As costs rise so does the GST and the cost to the consumer. The unfair extra cost burden perpetrated on the very debt ridden and impoverished Australian consumer to prop up big Multi national agribusiness and multi national mineral companies is at best criminal at worst corrupt bordering on treasonous. A low Australian dollar and broken dams in Brazil are the only things that are supporting some of these businesses as well as the governments paper thin and unneeded surplus. The corrupt and concerted effort by the L/NP government has been to drive down the Australian dollar for their benefactors and donors at the expense of the ordinary Australian consumer. Meanwhile Morrison’s poor judgement was on show once again by wanting to bring his mentor and paedophile protector to the State dinner with Trump is a stand out judgement error of diabolical proportions when you consider how Trump is trying to distance himself from the grubby Epstein fallout. This error in judgement explains why the the Australian economy is in such a disastrous situation after his time as treasurer and now his time as PM. Many a error in judgement since then and now or is the question is it poor judgement or an orchestrated attempt to drive the Australian dollar down to 50 cents for the benefit of L/NP donors?. What happened to the days when the rest of the world considered that the Australian economy was a good investment and $A was $1.10 to the $US. Look where Australia is now under this corrupt regime.

  7. johno

    So I would be correct assuming the coalition won’t be introducing the Universal Basic Income.

  8. DrakeN

    johno, mate, that would be a step or steps too far, far too far, to the Left – bordering on, nay entering into, communism.

    Egalitarianism in the same category as unfunded empathy.

    Goodness me!

    Don’t you worry about that.

  9. hahaha

    so not giving money to people without money is good for the economy,crime, health, and society??? …..makes as much sense as fractional reserve banking with 0% interest(so they loan out 10x capital and lose 10x as much?)…..this tappestry is fraying

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