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Tony And I Have Been Grieving But I Feel Better Now . . . Stockholm Syndrome Only Lasts So Long!

“What are you going to do now Abbott’s gone?” asked a friend.

“What do you mean?” I responded.

“Well you’ll have to actually think of things to write. I mean, it won’t just be a matter of writing down what Turnbull says, will it? I mean, this guy can actually mount an argument.”

I have to admit after that conversation, I have been sitting alone in a room and drinking rather than writing. Unlike Mr Abbott who bravely faced the media just a mere fourteen hours after losing the leadership. Apparently, he’d already demonstrated his determination not to waste the taxapayers money by driving to see the Governor General, preferring to show his skills with technology by faxing his resignation.

Ah, the fax. Like coal, it’ll still be around for quite a while yet.

Anyway, unlike Mr Abbott, I was unable to face people quite so soon. I was worried that I wouldn’t be as generous and I’d resort to sniping. Have a read of his speech. He tells us that he won’t resort to sniping and backstabbing unlike all those treacherous bastards who jumped of Team Australia to join Team Turnbull.

But yesterday, Abbott announced that he was staying in Parliament, just in case his absence from the aforementioned place since his unceremonious dumping led people to think he was going to sulk.

Quite the contrary, he’ll be staying. And eventually rejoining the broad church of the Liberal faithful. And unfaithful.

Of course, when I read Mr Bolt’s column today, I realised that I, too, had to not allow those who destroyed Abbott, to destroy me. Apparently, Julie Bishop failed to alert Mr Abbott that there were moves afoot to depose him. And she would have known, because, being Foreign Minister, she would have had time to read it in last week’s newspapers.

But Abbott was caught completely by surprise. He had no idea that anyone was unhappy with him. Obviously, like many politicians, he takes no notice of polls. And as Prime Minister, Abbott showed that he takes no notice of any criticism, so the fact that his internal critics had decided that a man who was resting on his laurels and just repeating what he had achieved was going to have trouble articulating a second term agenda. In fact, his main appeal to his party when the spill was announced was to say that they weren’t the Labor Party.

Which the more astute members of the Party had already worked out. Actually, even some of the Nationals had worked that one out, although Barnaby Joyce seems a bit confused when he supports the occasional Labor policy while complaining that he can’t fully support them because they’re not the Liberal Party…

Tony negative?

Nope, nope, nope.

But when I started writing the other day, I was concerned that I was just kicking a man when he was down.

And to criticise Turnbull seemed unfair.

After all, I have criticised Turnbull in past for lacking the ticker to stand up for what he believes, so now he’d actually challenged it seemed unfair to call him the “Peter Costello of the Abbott Government”. Not just because it was unfair to Peter Costello, but because he’d actually timed his run perfectly.

Now he’d grabbed the prize, I thought, we can look forward to a jump in the price of shares in renewable energy companies. Not to mention a boost to the economy from all the gay people planning their weddings.

And the Liberals let the leader pick their ministers. None of that faction nonsense that the Labor Party have. We can look forward to a front bench chosen on merit, even if that does involve allowing the odd woman to sit where they can have access to the microphone.

So when Malcolm said that he wasn’t actually going to change any policies, and that the problem was just the sales pitch, I knew that I was back.

Yep, Tony may be gone, but while the lead singer’s changed we still have an orchestra who don’t even know what tune they’re meant to be playing, let alone what time it’s in.

(That’s whether it’s 3/4 or 4/4, not whether it’s the 1950’s or 1960’s…)

So Tony, I know that you’re hurting. So was I. And apparently, you’re a “decent man” according to both Rupert Murdoch and Andrew Bolt – now there’s two men who can sing in tune. Not just in tune, they have harmony.

Although when it comes to being a “decent man”, so’s my next door neighbour and I’m not sure I’d want him to run the country…

Mm, let Bazza do your brain surgery, he’s a much better bloke than that prick of a surgeon who thinks that, just because he’s got qualifications and skill, he’s better qualified that Bazza who’s a “decent man”.

Congratulations, Malcolm. I’m starting to think that you’re a man of enormous integrity who’s never let that stop you from doing what someone else requires.

Le clown est mort , Vive le Dr Faustus 

P.S. Pedantic Rant of The Day


Count them from 2010.

Rudd to Gillard

Gillard back to Rudd

Rudd to Abbott

Abbott to Turnbull.

As for five different PM’s that’s only true if you count Rudd twice, which suggests that he was a different PM the second time around, which I can accept more easily than the proposition that we’ve had five CHANGES of PM . . .


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  1. Florence nee Fedup

    if this PM can mount an argument, wasn’t much on show today?

  2. Loz

    Very funny article.

  3. i have a nugget of pure green

    i wonder if the National Party will dissappear with a little “pff” as the Liberal Party eats itself?

  4. Kate M

    I enjoyed that 🙂

    (And agree with the frustration about five PM in five years.)

  5. Terry2

    ‘Saw Anne Henderson on the Drum last night and naturally she sees Abbott as a fine Prime Minister who has been wronged and feels that he would make an excellent ambassador to the USA (as he’s not a wealthy man and needs a job).

    Must be something added to the cornflakes at the Sydney Institute !

  6. lawrencewinder

    It’s difficult to assess which gives most pleasure: the schadenfreude of Rabid-the-Hun’s assassination or that the circus has the same clowns, albeit with a new ringmaster calling the same tricks.
    And I agree with Terry2, re: Anne Henderson….there is definitely something odd in the water of the parallel universe of the Sydney Geriatric Institute!

  7. Felicitas

    Somehow i don’t think the Yanks would want Tony – poor or not.

  8. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    Bravo, Rossleigh.

    I don’t feel sorry for Abbott, although I’ve got over that feeling one gets when they can imagine they have tasted blood – probably a distant primeval memory.

    However, while I’m over my primeval instincts, Primeval(c) Malcolm Turnbull is NOT and it’s our blood he wants coz he’s just a dirty, sycophantic neocon lover too.

    NB I have put a copyright on Bad Mal’s new title of ‘Primeval’ 🙂

  9. Terry2

    So that nice Mr Abbott offered Scott Morrison the Treasurers’ job and the Deputy Liberal leadership prior to the vote : so much for his loyalty to Julie Bishop and Joe Hockey.

    No more crocodile tears for Abbott : he was and remains a self serving rat.

    The sooner he leaves the parliament the better.

  10. Kuhr

    I feel no relief whatsoever. The Liberal party is the political manifestation of domestic violence at the hands of an abusive partner.

    Tony Abbott epitomises the abuser – the liar, belittler, threatener, degrader, divider, estranger, wrecker. His is the face of the real Liberal party, and what it intends for Australia.

    And much like an abuser for whom lies, belittlement, threatening, degrading, dividing, estranging and wrecking no longer can keep the victim under control and prevent then from leaving, a new face and persona emerges.

    So now we have Malcolm Turnbull. The compassionate, the apologizer, promiser, repairer, uniter. The contrite new face of the same abuser.

    Make no mistake, this supposed transformation of the Liberal party, the abusers of the Australian public and our democracy will last only as long as it placates and prevents us all from leaving them. Which is until after the next election.

    And then we will see their new true face. And exactly like an abusive partner, it will be more terrifying and destructive than the one that has gone before. God help us all.

  11. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    Beautifully written Kuhr.

    Might I suggest you cut and paste this and apply it to Twitter in strategic pieces with #Canning_voters as a handle.

    This is so we yet might encourage undecided Canning voters NOT to sell us out tomorrow by wrongly wasting votes on Hastie for the lying Liberal Party.

  12. Brett Godber

    We haven’t had the same Prime Minister consecutively for 5 years. I think that statement is true and addresses your pedantic concerns.

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