When I heard Michaelia Cash telling people that Bill Shorten was the end of the ute as we know it, I couldn’t help but think that her voice is the one thing that makes fingernails running down a blackboard sound like music.
Ok, that may sound a little bit sexist and I did admonish myself and tell myself that I should separate the medium from the message and just listen to what she had to say. To quote her directly:
“People like Johnny, the car he is driving today, if a Labora (sic) government is elected will not be the car he is driving tomorrow”!
Awesome, I say!
Young Johnny will be able to afford a new car. Probably thanks to wages going up under a Shorten Labor(a?) government…
Oh, I forgot, That’s a bad thing. As Scottie told us:
“To pay someone more, you’ve got to sack someone else to do it. That is the Labor Party’s policy.”
So there you have it a nutshell. Liberal Policy is that you need to drive yesterday’s car because a wage rise would lead to unemployment so low wages growth is really a good thing.
Today Scott was trying to go on the front foot by attacking Labor for not announcing details of their EV policy. After all, it was announced last Thursday and given we’re almost in an election campaign, there’s no excuse for announcing an aspirational target ten years in the future and not having a detailed schedule of how they’ll achieve it. They are the Opposition, after all. It’s not like they’re the government who have to make up policy on the run, because they’ve been too busy telling how good they are to work out the finer details.
It’s like Adani, They were waiting for the “science” and then Queensland backbenchers told them that the science said there was no problem with using all the water in the artesian basin because it wouldn’t lead to photos of dead fish, so the science was go, go, go or else Environment Minister Price would have to!
Even before the election campaign starts, this government seems as though it’s evoking the ghost of Billy McMahon who told people that after examining the facts people should vote for the Labor Party, before correcting himself. Actually when I heard yesterday was the second anniversary of John Clarke’s death, I had a moment of missing his wonderful sketches before wondering if he was making a gesture from the grave by possessing Scott Morrison and giving us some of his best material…
One has to honestly wonder how a government can open a detention centre for a photo opportunity only to close it before the election. That’s not the way to win anyone’s vote.
But you seriously have to wonder who Yoyo is appealing to when he complains that people won’t be allowed to drive “vehicles that have a bit of grunt, that have a bit of power.” I mean, my car has a bit of grunt… all right, not much, but I do manage to drag old ladies and Ford Fiestas at the lights even though the Ustasi sometimes give me speeding tickets because they’re just like those Labor socialists. Strangely I was left stranded by the Tesla next to me the other day. I’ll need to go to the garage and put in all sorts of mechanical thingies to make it go faster. Or possibly I could buy a Monaro before they become illegal.
Of course, I wondered if old Scott had checked the price of the Toyota Hilux when he tried to suggest that apprentices wouldn’t be able to afford an electric car. I wonder if he’d checked the wages of apprentices when Michaelia and he suggested that they all drove HiLuxes. In fact, I wonder if he checked how many apprentices are old enough to have driving licences.
Word on the street is that the election will be called tomorrow. If not, then the day after. Certainly before Monday. Or maybe Monday. Whatever, he’s not going to call it just because Bill Shorten tells him to.
Billl Shorten, we’ve been told by many Liberals is getting ahead of himself. He’s measuring up the curtains for The Lodge.
Perhaps, Bill could point out that The Lodge already has curtains, and unlike the Liberals, he doesn’t feel the need to waste money by making cosmetic changes just because there’s been a change of government.
I could say, “It’s funny because it’s true.” The sad thing is that it’s not funny because it’s true!
Here’s Liberal Excuses Bingo from before the 2013 election:
Photo: bingo generator
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