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Sophist’s choice

Will the premature defecator make an early run for the polls?

“Morrison’s poor judgment, the debacle of the vaccination rollout, the failures on quarantine, the monumental debt created by the monumental spending, his intolerance of criticism will all catch up with him eventually, most likely not until after the election, when he will reap what he has sown.” (Niki Savva, journalist, author, and former senior adviser to Prime Minister John Howard and Treasurer Peter Costello).

Sydney, 26th June 2021…

Somewhere, hiding within the sheltered confines of the QAnon clubhouse at Kirribilli, Scurry Morrison shat his pants.

Head prefect Gladdy Twoshoes’ hubris had set the meanest, nastiest, ugliest virus variant loose after Scurry had expended considerable political capital pissing in our custard and telling us it was a trifle – “envy of the world“, “it’s not a race“, “NSW is the gold standard“, “I commend the NSW Premier, she hasn’t gone to lockdown…” and then Poor, Sad Gladys® went and announced the inevitable – another lockdown.

A smooth vaccine roll-out was Scurry’s ticket to any easy run to the polls. The big flaw in this all eggs in one basket strategy was of course Scurry’s considerable talents for fucking up. And here we are.

Scurry typically practises social distancing whenever the going gets tough, disappearing for days and maintaining radio silence while his team of flunkies catch their breath to war game the options. Their boy’s vulnerability can always be gauged by the frequency and duration of his disappearances and the volume of the covering fire from Murdoch’s night-soil spruikers. Burying the bodies, inventing distractions, blame shifting – spinning up more revs than a choirboys changing room until they regain control of the news cycle with announcements re-announcing old announcements or announcing upcoming announcements.

Such practices have served Scurry well during his tenure – the billions in rort fests, shrubbery lurkers and rapists, pissed off wimmin, ecocide, disaster capitalism to further enrich cronies, abandoned citizens, jailed kindergartners could all be forgotten with the virus soaking up all the air time but the very thing that was providing cover for the smug yob’s indolence, nastiness and grifting is the thing that will finish him.

As with the bushfires, the pandemic has exposed Morrison for who he truly is. No Facebooked curries, no borrowing of chickens or mounting of heavy machinery, no be-medalled general nor tame premier can hide his vacuity and uselessness. A coward who baulks at scrutiny and bullies any defiance, a clueless charlatan, a pig, a QAnon adjacent prosperity cultist who celebrated an affinity with Mr Tangerine Man, an overtly religious moral void, an inveterate liar, a poseur whose first instinct in a crisis is flight, whose vision is shaped by the rapture and whose ambitions are informed by an eagle painting will be desperately rifling through dumpsters for dead cats.

This was Morrison’s chance to shine, to show up the doubters and haters, to prove he was worthy of the office, that he could confidently go to an early election. Instead, he shat himself. Again.

Did you spot the musical reference?

Not my job:



Where is the PM when the country needs him? On LinkedIn. Women’s Agenda.

Sleaze of Origin: grubby Gladys shapes up to shady ScoMo. Crikey.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. David Stakes

    Another class piece exposing the hollow man

  2. robyn Cleland

    I am just lost for words over this whole debate & the bloody mess we are all in, talk about uncertainty, just resign Morrison & let someone else do the job, because you can’t do it


  3. leefe

    Being something of a Dylan tragic, I resent the contamination of one of his best songs by linking it to ScoMoFo.

    You’re only forgiven by the neatness of the pun in the title.

  4. Harry Lime

    I despised the lying Rodent and his Ministerial Misanthropes,but this narcissistic fake makes the rodent seem tame by comparison.Plenty of us grumpy old bastards out here in the boondocks are yearning for the fall…let it be swift and fatal.
    Another incisive skewering,Mr. Geezer.

  5. Andrew J. Smith

    One would doubt whether it’s up to Morrison alone in calling an election? Surely it’s more about his pollsters/strategists Crosby Textor, NewsCorp and 9Fairfax?

  6. Williambtm

    Scomo and his acolytes are as rotten as a bucket of prawns left for 3 days under the sun.
    The way he has shaped up as a leader he is determined to exceed Howard in hating the Australian people.
    What a reprehensible lot of loyalist ministers he has around him to protect him from all matters that deal with the truth.
    Has anybody put a price on the likelihood of the hating Scomo to be still upstanding when the next election is up for grabs?
    Harry Lime you have nailed it, there are a vast number of male and female grumpy elder persons that will not forget the lying smirking bastard when it comes to the next election.

    Think about what happened in Haiti? A couple of gunshots and the end of another no-goodnik leader.

  7. John OCallaghan

    So wonderful to read enjoy and laugh at genuine political satire which is sadly missing in today’s media … and i loved the Bob Dylan/ Birds musical contribution..Oh and painted Morrisscum for exactly who and what he is!….

  8. Bruce White

    Lets not forget Greg Greg the lap dog. All his wonderful achievements as healthy minister (remember he got his first shot back months ago), setting a good example (and his previous wonderful achievements as environment minister). And he’s a wonderful ‘wholesale politician’ (Beetroot Barnaby is the great retail politician). Yes, he did a wonderful job securing the batch of 24 vaccines for the ministry and his mates. Personally I’d like to see the Nats vote him in as their leader, maybe with Craig Kelly as his Nats deputy. Barnaby is looking too messianic (the Second Coming) and is obviously an impediment to Scomos potential stoppover in Armageddon on the road to Damascus.
    Now I know you’ll say but,.. but,.. because Greg Greg the lap dog and Craig (the futon flogger) are both Liberals. But really,.. the Nats are capable of anything really, aren’t they. They have done the right thing in relegating their one seemingly relatively ‘normal’ MP Darren Chester, to lockdown in his beachshack at ninety mile beach.
    And of course, don’t forget their ‘travel bubble’ for Samoan or Bulgarian backpackers who are ‘lining up as we spruik’ to pick peanuts (and be paid peanuts), and who are masochistically grateful to Straya at the same time. No, we have no bananas,… We have no bananas today, But I’ve got a loverley bunch of coconuts,.. Here they are all waiting in the queque, Big ones,small ones, Some as big as your ‘ead,… Just pay them peanuts and they will come. Unlike those Austalians sitting on massive government handouts, Sit down job sneaker money, They should just,- ‘Jump down turn around, Pick a bail of cotton Jumpdown turnaround Pick a bail a day Oh Littleproud, (Pick a bail of cotton), Oh Littleproud, (Pick a bail a day)…. (My condolences and sympathies to all of the discriminated against people I have satirically alluded to, Leadbelly, George Floyd and black America, Australias indigenous people, our refugees and asylum seekers, 3rd, 4th and 5th class temporary visa holders, people with no money to pay the landlord, homeless and ‘carless’ roughsleepers, topend longrassers,couchsurfers and everyone else eg. Bernard Collaery to whom ‘a fair go’ is now an Australian myth.
    The victims of Coalition government cruelty)….

  9. Bruce White

    Anyway, very well said by you Grumps.
    My thinking nowadays is that ‘if I don’t laugh, I will cry’.
    John Lennon once sang ‘strange days indeed’
    about the 1970s in America and Europe.
    Our lives and times now, in the 20 20s
    Are even stranger.
    And the contrasts are even greater…
    21% of Africans are currently living (just barely surviving) with malnutrition.
    Multibillionaire RB is getting legally high and totally spaced out. (he ain’t heavy, he’s an astronaut)
    Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…

  10. RomeoCharlie29

    I am taking one-hit wonder, Barry McGuire as my musical inspiration. We certainly seem to be on the eve of destruction, if a slightly different one from that which his song envisaged. I get more gleeful by the day as the sainted Glad’s actions puncture the gold standard, and Scummo’s supposed political nous, which incidentally I never bought, continues to desert him. He had a run of luck which his Newscrap boosters tried to persuade us was legitimate political skill. I never bought it. The wilful failure of most of the MSM to hold him amd the government to account over the various funding rorts means most people have only the vaguest idea about these several and continuing bits of economic chicanery. How many people read Keane et al in Crikey, Bongiorno and Morton in the Saturday paper or Denis Atkins, Michael Pascoe and others in the New Daily? . Not to mention the authors on this site? Not enough obviously or Scummo’s ratings would be in the shit where they should be.still, cause for optimism as the ABC now seems to have him in their sights over the vaccine rollout. Do I believe in Karma?

  11. Kathryn

    The incompetent, lazy, bone-idle SLOTH MORRISCAMMER expends MORE energy and MORE time getting OUT of work than getting off his expanding a*se to do ANYTHING!

    DESPITE the fact that this whining, moaning, bible-thumping hypocrite and callously inhumane sociopath is now the FIFTH HIGHEST PAID politician in the world, Morrison has managed to delegate just about ALL his responsibilities to the States! This unspeakably smug, self-serving nonentity had TWO frigging jobs: to manage the vaccination roll-out and to organise a safe, efficient national quarantine process in order to safeguard the health and well-being of Australian citizens! Needless to say, this totally useless, dysfunctional, self-promoting, two-thumbs-up BOGAN proved to be an EPIC FAILURE at EVERYTHING he tried and failed to do – except, of course, to then dump HIS responsibilities onto hapless State Premiers!

    It would now appear that the ONLY things Morrison is adept at is shirking work, going AWOL and running away when the going gets tough, “Can’t hold a hose”, “Can’t hold a phone”, Can’t do a bloody THING unless, of course, it will increase his OWN obscene power and wealth (now estimated to be around $45 MILLION) or to increase the power and wealth of his billionaire donors in the Top 1%.

  12. New England Cocky

    Once again I have been beaten to the comment by the contributions of others. Well done!!

  13. Brad Black

    I enjoyed that so much, Mr Geezer, I had to read it again.

  14. Williambtm

    My question is related to Kathryn’s comment; how can an honest person accumulate $45 million dollars relying on a politician’s salary?
    Surely there are perks rorts and scams available to a dishonest politician to accumulate $45 million?
    So tell me, is this current evasive and dodgy Prime Minister as shifty as a schitthouse rat?
    Up until this point in time, Morrison has not demonstrated any superiority in any whatsoever skill.

    Perhaps those with superior counting skills are able to demystify this schitthouse rat Morrison conundrum?

  15. Gl


    Corruption and greed. Plain and simple corruption and greed.

  16. Jo.

    Williambtm – while there might be some who claim that Morrison has accumulated assets in the order of $45 million, there are possibly others, with much more fertile imaginations, who add an additional zero or two.

    On the other hand, those who have a penchant for credible evidence will consult the Register of Members’ Interests where Morrison’s declarations can be found under M.


    Of course, Morrison might be risking it and telling complete porkies for the public record. But what do you think?

  17. Williambtm

    Jo, in all that I have observed about Morrison, he and truth have yet to meet each other.
    In my opinion, that person stays away from the truth, lest it exposes him as a bullschitting crooked nothing-burger.

  18. Caz

    Reading the comments above leave me feeling uneducated and illiterate which I know I am not. I wish I could express my disgust in a similar vein to Bruce and Kathryn. But words escape me. My hat off to both of you for giving me the chance to say “amen to that”. The man is too despicable for words.

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