Yes, I’m sure you’re all aware that Publicity-Seeking Pauline, fresh from re-election stormed out of the Acknowledgement of Country declaring that she didn’t acknowledge that there was such a thing and she never would.
Of course, this has led many to wonder why she’s never done it before, but we need to be fair here. Until the other day, it’s highly likely that she hadn’t been listening. Pauline, you understand, was that girl at school who – after being in the previous two classes where the material was being revised – screams that the teacher never told the class that there was a test coming up and she hasn’t studied and it’s all the teacher’s fault and why are all the rest of you sucking up and pretending that you knew about this.
Pauline’s world view is quite simple. If you’re an immigrant, you’ve got to accept that we were here first and just go along with our customs and traditions. Of course, if you’re white, you don’t need to worry that Indigenous people were here before the British because they didn’t have a flag so they weren’t really a country and now that there is an aboriginal flag, it shouldn’t be hung anywhere because if we start doing that then, next thing you know, we’ll be asked to pretend that they have customs from before white people came along and taught them about the whole idea of tradition.
Yes, I’ve noticed some people suggesting that the Welcome to Country was devised just a few short years ago and doesn’t have a tradition going back generations.
Now, I’m not an expert here, so I’m not going to go out on a limb and say conclusively that they’re just racist idiots who probably don’t even have their vote counted because they usually get the numbers wrong. However, I will say that the fact that most white people weren’t aware of it until a few years ago doesn’t mean that it didn’t exist.
I know, I know, next I’ll be saying that First Nations people existed before white people came along and discovered them.
But, of course, if they’re right and Welcome to Country is only something that started in the 20th Century than maybe – in the interests of not being divisive – we could scrap it.
And, in the interests of not being divisive, perhaps Australia Day could be scrapped because it’s something that only started being celebrated in the last few decades and it certainly doesn’t have a history going back to before the arrival of white settlement.
Whatever, the very least we could do, is stop bogans running around with Australian flags on January 26th. After all, it was the Union Jack that was raised on January 25th or 27th or whichever day the boats actually landed at Port Jackson, so they shouldn’t be introducing this recent flag that’s been in everyday use less than a hundred years* to celebrate an event from so long ago.
Still, now that Pauline has set the precedent, I look forward to all sorts of people walking out of such Parliamentary traditions as the Lord’s Prayer, Oaths to the Queen, votes, Speaker’s rulings, etc. It should certainly liven up the place and lay the groundwork for a QANON take-over when Scotty gets back from his victory lap of… Oh, that’s right, he lost, I keep forgetting because I listen to the news.
By the way, has anyone seen Barnaby or should we start putting his photo up on telegraph poles? Yes, I know we don’t want to find him but we should possibly warn international travellers to ignore him when he tells them it’s a long-standing tradition that they buy him a drink.
*If you want to argue that the flag is older than that. fine. But we only started using the Blue Ensign while Menzies was PM. The Red Ensign was the more common flag prior to that.
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