The spiv with the shiv celebrates the third anniversary of his defining perfidy
“Scott was in it from the word go.” Herr Schickltuber on the political assassination of Malcolm Turnbull.
A piffler of modest abilities and questionable achievements who wanted to be PM, his only valid claim to the Prime Ministership was that he’s not Peter Dutton. A unctuous quibbler for whom a glib catchphrase passes for uplifting rhetoric, who goes on and on and on like a one-ended stick with utterances that are not so much Winston Churchill as Kuta beach kiosk t-shirt – “How good is Bali?”, “I’ll sunburn for you”, “If ya wanna go on the jet-ski you’ll get a go on the jet-ski.” Listening to Scooter attempt inspiring oratory is like watching a 3 year old draw a horse.
It was three years ago, on the 24th August 2018 that Scooter showed, unambiguously, his true self. He shanked his “mate” Malcolm Turnbull.
In what could be called his signature move he pressed the plausible deniability button. “Who me? Prime Minister? Oh… gosh, OK.” He would have us believe that the leadership plotting of his prayer circle of fellow god-shoppers including Alex Hawke, a potential donor for those needing a new arsehole and Stuart Robert, a contributing cause of vaginal dryness, was undertaken without his participation or knowledge. The master at dodging accountability subcontracted his dirty work to his humble flock of acolytes who eagerly invoked their Christian values – “do unto others before they see it coming.“
Scooter lays claim to being called by God. Why did The Big Guy in the sky, the creator of an entire universe, need Scooter’s minions to carry out the plan? Perhaps the communications via an eagle painting got garbled – it was open to misinterpretation. Burning bushes and talking snakes may have once had their place but we now live in an age of technology and ubiquitous social media. Why not a godly Facebook post or even a Tik Tok interpretive dance routine?
Despite the endorsement of an omnipotent albeit hands-off deity there is no challenge too small for Morrison to fail to rise to. In times of crisis he resorts to the grand traditions of the self-righteously religious – dissembling, hypocrisy, blame and scapegoating. Apart from displacing about 95,000 cubic centimetres of air everywhere he goes what has this prick achieved in three years? The most corrupt government in federal history is no small feat, with blatant rorting as their business model and several MPs whose honorific ‘The Hon.’ should be replaced with ‘the accused’. To paraphrase Theodore Roosevelt, when they call the roll in Cabinet, the members do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.‘
Why does the most overtly religious PM in our history tolerate, facilitate or participate in the scams and the grift? How much does he believe his own holier than thou bullshit and how much is political contrivance?
With Brian Houston as his mentor and Donald Trump as his hero we get a glimpse of the character of the man. Given another three years will he go the full nasty, will he encourage the drift to a quasi-theocracy based on a prosperity cult? Exploiting the undeserving poor to feed the filthy rich is Tory tradition as is destroying the environment so, no changes there. With an election pending he’ll do whatever it takes and if that means exposing your kids to a deadly virus it’s a risk he’s willing to take.
There is no dire circumstance, no crisis that The Great Schmozzle cannot make worse by becoming involved. He is reliant on Murdoch’s muckspreaders, a slush fund of some “unallocated” $80M from the last budget to spend on rorts and the notoriously short memories and apathy of the electorate but he could be re-elected. How good is that?
As consolation, at some future time, even the most academic political biographies assessing Scooter’s legacy are likely to at least reference The Great Dak Shatting Incident of 1997 and how his personal protection squad is required to carry plastic poop bags. His greatest achievement shall live on.
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There are long, long lists of Tory malfeasance, nastiness and incompetence so to save space here’s a few links. They’re subject to updates as the dirty deeds continue to accumulate:
A rallying crime. Martin McKenzie-Murray, The Monthly.
‘He was in it right up to his neck’: How Scott Morrison deposed a prime minister. Peter Hartcher, SMH.
Scott Morrison’s partisan interpretation of biblical passages is disturbing for democracy. Kevin Rudd in The Guardian.
Where would this man be without pollsters dictating his every utterance? Dennis Atkins, In Queensland.
This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.
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