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Covid-19, Shark Attacks And Relativity.

“The beach is shut!”

“Yes, we know. We’re here to protest this outrageous attack on our human rights…”

Look it’s just a temporary thing. There was a shark attack this morning and…”

“I don’t believe shark attacks are dangerous. I saw a meme on Facebook which pointed out exactly how unlikely you are to die from a shark attack.”

“Well, tell that to the guy who died this morning…”

“He probably had other health issues. I very much doubt that a shark would kill a normal healthy person.

“He died from a loss of blood.”

“See, probably haemophilia.”

“Whatever. The beach is closed for the time being and…”

“But why. I mean, less than one percent of the swimmers died. We’ve got learn to live with sharks and not shut down beaches every time somebody dies.”

“How can the people who die live with sharks?”

“You know what I mean. The rest of us just have to get on with life and not let the odd shark attack stop us from swimming. If we just protect those who are most likely to die from a shark attack, the rest of us should be able to swim and not worry too much about a shark.”

“Everyone is vulnerable to a shark attack.”

“No, I’ve heard that it’s just certain people. Mick Fanning was attacked by a shark and he survived just fine.”

“Look, I’m not going to argue! The beach is closed until we make sure that it’s safe!”

“Fascist. This is a violation of my rights under the Constitution which gives me the right to swim where I choose.”

“No it doesn’t!”

“There’s an implied right to freedom of movement and this is a direct infringement of my rights as a sovereign citizen!”

“Oh, you’re a sovereign citizen? Ok, go straight it the water. If the shark attacks be sure to tell him that you have immunity from being attacked owing to your status as a sovereign citizen.”

“Ok people follow me. I told you that they wouldn’t be able to resist if all seven of us stuck together and refused to allow their draconian rules prevent us from taking back the beach. Onward. Once more onto the beach, dear friends, once more…”

*. *. *.

Yes, I’m sure that someone will suggest that I’m oversimplifying things and that Covid-19 isn’t the same as a shark attack, but whether Alan Jones and company are talking about Covid-19 or climate change, we hear a lot about one percent being insignificant and I just can’t help but wonder how people would react if the one percent was translated into an equation that they can more readily understand.

For example:

“Only one of these cars has faulty brakes, the other ninety nine are safe so we’re just going to get people to drive them until someone has an accident and we can then take it off the road. We’d get them all checked but that would take time and money.”


“This drink is less than one percent cyanide, so how much harm can it do? Drink up…”

No sane person would accept either of those two scenarios, but numbers can be dangerous in the wrong hands. The media seems to be glossing over the fact that the Coalition government spent nearly $30 million over the valuation as though it’s just a bit of an oversight and not all that important in the scheme of things rather than stacking it up against the job losses that were the result of the cuts to the ABC. Or should I say non-cuts? According to the ABC, it was about $84 million, while according to Scott Morrison when you don’t give the promised increase it’s not a cut. Using his logic, however, we could not cut the PM’s salary by not giving him the promised increase and it wouldn’t be a cut at all, so how could he possibly complain? Anyway, $30 million is not $84 million but it certainly would have kept a few people in jobs.

Although I’m coming round to thinking that keeping journalists in jobs is not as important at it once was. After all, some of them just re-write the government’s press releases while others just print them verbatim.

And I couldn’t help wonder about the first fifteen minutes of 7.30 last night where it was going over Victoria’s “hotel quarantine fiasco”. Apparently you need to add the word “fiasco” to any description of what happened, but apart from that, I couldn’t see the point. The story gave no new information and, given there’s already an inquiry, it wasn’t like it was putting pressure on the Andrews’ government to call an inquiry. Compare that to the “Oh well, it looks like we’ll just never find out who was responsible for Angus Taylor’s inaccurate documents/Ruby Princess/the inflated land sale/tipping of the media for the police raid/leaking something the government wanted leaked/Peter Dutton/almost any decision that works out badly!” when it comes to the federal government.

All right, of course we need to support good quality journalism, but I’m beginning to think that it’s a bit like the Koala population in NSW: they don’t seem to be able to protect themselves and some politicians wouldn’t care if they became extinct because it would just be easier to get things done!

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  1. Vikingduk

    Not forgetting the tudge thing and his criminal behaviour by not following the court’s ruling and releasing the Afghani refugee. But, of course, the lnp criminal syndicate well above the law, the typists and stenographers masquerading as journalists mere spokethings for the morrison mafia, shit, a mere $30 million for a block of land that is being leased back at a valuation of under a million, jeez, Rossleigh, give em a go, no one seems to know who gave the ok, so all’s good, still enough left in the barrel to prop up repulsive rupert, hillsong, gas, coal, carbon capture and storage, sports rorts, community grant rorts, next you’ll be wondering why the nationals consider North Sydney’s pool deserving of a multi million dollar regional grant, when the liar from the shire’s next smirkectomy is and who’s paying, why the dutton thing is such a black hearted bastard, who is the most corrupt member of parliament, a never ending story of crime, corruption, incompetence, stupidity and downright morally bankrupt behaviour played out on a daily basis. Ah, I love the smell of democracy in the morning, akin to the reek of napalm.

  2. corvusboreus

    At the same time that a senior judge excoriated Tudge for, as immigration minister, unlawfully detaining a person in contempt of direct court orders, he has simultaneously, in another ongoing court case, been accusatorily implicated in knowingly implementing unlawful actions during his time as human services minister in charge of the illegitimate and illegal robodebt scam.
    They just keep shifting the same malicious crooks from one lawbreaking scandal to another in the hope that people will forget.
    Unfortunately, with current attention spans, it seems to work as a tactic. .

  3. Matters Not

    cb it works because there are no structural arrangements/mechanisms to right/correct such obvious
    misdemeanours apart from or in addition to the electoral process. And all sides of politics seem content with that. No real pressure for an ICAC or equivalent.

  4. corvusboreus

    We says we wants an ICAC now, but Scomo and Albo prefer to offer a choice of future options trading in either an intangible NIC or an inconsequential CIC..
    .Our ruling betters evidently prefer an informal self-regulatory approach.
    All we have left is to try and keep paying mindful attention and take cross-referential notes in the forlorn hope of one day seeing some kind of future retrospective accounting for serial serious political misdeeds.
    Tudge should be facing criminal charges of contributory negligence/malice causing deaths.

  5. Wam

    What a great sense of the heartless, rossleigh, decision to close a beach because of a one off incident the vast majority are safe from sharks and do not need to be forced out of our wet suits.
    The tragedy of the shark fin eaters to be banned from their opportunities to slice the fins without killing and leave free from conscience?
    True god and the Bible Corvus:
    Tudge deserves at least the same treatment as slipper got but albo is not going against a colleague

  6. corvusboreus

    We should start a good book appreciation group.

    Numbers 23 (I think)
    Moses:”I order you men to divide the captiveskill the boys and mothers, but you can keep the younger girls as spoils of conquest” (paraphrased from a selectively edited multi-translated version)

    I do honestly like some of the words attributed to Mary’s ‘sprog of unspecified seed’, like when He said that mutual forgiveness is a beneficial notion, but disagree with the notion that nailing human beings to wooden frames triggers any absolutionary miracles.

    Ps I repeat honest regrets for the harshest of my words toward thee.
    May tomorrow’s cleansing plunge wash extra clear, and help pass an extra smile to your beloved.
    Corvus to William, amen.

  7. C

    A strange story of new informational acquisition.Someone mentioned elsewhere earlier this week than droppiing-steel-blade-within-frameork devices designed to deliver traumatic amputation as a means of capital execution long preceded the invention patented by Dr Guillotin.
    Apparently pre “guillotine”, one had the decapitative selection of “planke” (German-Flemish), “manniae” (Italian), or, for the Brittanio-centric, the choice of “Halifax gibbet” or “Scottish maiden”I.

    Dunno why that sprung to mind, but it’s nice to share new learningses.

  8. wam

    hahaha corvus you are too good for this old quacker
    quo vadis illuc vado
    ps when you wrote divide I thought of alexander the great and his so;ution to a king who entreated hi not to take his only son.
    pps insult the shit out of me I have been mad for all of this century and I was an inmate of the correspondence school for the last 10 years of he 20th century

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