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Christian Porter: “We Have Announced A Watchdog And We Won’t Have Anyone Say A Word Against Chihuahuas”!

Big News!

The Morrison government has announced a policy on a federal corruption body. Apparently they’ve been working on it for a long time. In fact, they’ve been working on it even before we had our latest PM. They were even working on it at the time they told us that they we didn’t need one.

Now some have been unkind and suggested that far from a watchdog, it was a chihuahua. Let’s be fair, some of those little dogs can be very annoying with their barking. Let’s be fair, it’s only reasonable that they should be de-barked in case they wake up the voters!

Christian Porter was at pains to explain how the proposed Anti-corruption body would work. From what I could understand, just like the ABC, there’d need to be balance and after establishing it, there’d be a Pro-corruption body to look after donations. And it won’t listen to anyone bringing nasty, partisan accusations. In other words, anyone who voted for Labor or The Greens will be automatically excluded from making a referal. And, in order to preserve the reputation of anyone accused, it will adopt the protection of conducting all investigations in secret. If it should be found that a person or persons are likely to be guilty of corruption, the evidence will be refered to the DPP to see if there’s enough evidence to bring it to trial. I’m not sure whether or not we get to hear anything about it, if someone says, “Hey, he’s the guy who appointed me to my position in the DPP, surely the evidence must be falsified, so let’s just forget the whole thing and go after the person who leaked his name to the media…”

All right, there is always a problem with public trials. We all know that the presumption of innocence is all very well, but once one is on trial for something, one is never completely exonerated in the public eye. On the other hand, we have the glove that didn’t fit O.J. Simpson…

Mm, I’m not sure what my point was. I don’t have a legal mind so perhaps I better move on before I say something about (REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS) who was found guilty but we can’t mention for fear of him not getting a fair trial in the next public event where he gets tried for other crimes that he’s been accused of. So maybe I should just go on to say how pleased I am about the religious discrimination laws. I mean, it’s a slippery slope, isn’t it? You know, it starts with schools not able to use electric shock treatment to prevent gay students from being condemned to Hell, and next thing you know, schools will be prevented from teaching the virtues of female circumsion… Speaking of religion, I’m joining Pauline who’s promised me eternal life. In case you haven’t seen it.

 

 

As she said, “And we’re going to all die… It’s not the case.” Well, hallelujah and pass the money jar… Who was it that said that the difference between real life and fiction was that fiction had to be plausible?

 

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17 comments

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  1. Baby Jewels

    Another brain fart, another half baked compromise idea, rushed out before they get wedged. They will fight tooth and nail against a proper Federal ICAC.

  2. paul walter

    I can’t do Christian Porter twice in one session here, my digestive system crawls at the thought of this walking moral vacuum, so will read Ross later to dodge slipping into depression now.

    Please be a little forbearing of me for a little.

  3. Adrianne Haddow

    I vote Poorline moves to live in the vicinity of the Liddell Power Station. If the hidden nasty chemicals in the steam don’t get her, maybe black lung will.
    Her holidays should be restricted to the Great Barrier Reef, not the section where she proved the reef is alive and pristine, the one where the box jellyfish hang out.

    The woman is a national treasure. Comedy gold.

    Same with Christian Porter and the Clayton’s ICAC. We wouldn’t want an ICAC that is any use. Keep all the corruption in-house. Like they do now.

  4. Phil

    Should I live to be 150 yrs old the fact, that people actually vote for the likes of Porter and Hanson I will never understand. The contrast between the two is amazing. Ones a gibbering idiot and dangerous, the other is as cunning as a shit house rat and dangerous. Work out who is who for yourself.

  5. New England Cocky

    Every time I see the Poorlean front person for Jeff Ashby’s Only Nutters Party I realise the truth in the adage, “If you think education is expensive, consider the cost of ignorance”.

    We see ignorance in the anti-climate change stance of shareholders in the coal industry, but no funding into one or more Faculties of Coal Technology to discover how to extract the many high-end fraction extracts from distilling coal.

    @Phil: The sad reality is that we, the Australian voters, elected this rabble, freely, after consideration, without duress. Now once again “It’s time.”

  6. Diannaart

    NEC

    Every time I see the Poorlean front person for Jeff Ashby’s Only Nutters Party I realise the truth in the adage, “If you think education is expensive, consider the cost of ignorance”.

    Well said.

  7. Andrew Smith

    More attention should be paid to Hanson’s puppeteer Ashby, whom is his puppeteer? There seems to be a pattern whereby Hanson is used to wedge or compel the LNP into actions that indirectly support fossil fuels, commercial media, Nativist and Conservative Christians etc.

  8. Grumpy Geezer

    The FauxMo Go Slow Show – featuring a pretend integrity commission, obfuscation on climate change abatement and protecting the right to discriminate against LGBQ students and staff.

  9. helvityni

    …well, Rossleigh, you are onto something, I too am tempted to join her ‘Eternal Life’ party, she has had her ‘second coming’ and there will be more ‘comings’ up her sleeve, I’m going to ride on her coat-tails…..

  10. Zathras

    It’s as well Gillard initiated the terms of her Commission into Institutionalised Child Abuse.
    If it was left up to Morrison, all past sins would have been forgiven and the investigation would have started from Day 1.

    A crime is a crime regardless of when it was committed, charges for crimes against the taxpayer should not have a use-by date and we should be entitled to see our laws in action.

    Morrison is setting this up as a token gesture to catch out a few petty offenses by Public Servants while leaving the larger and more significant Party-sized ones in the clear.

    As for Ashby and Hanson, whatever happened to the 2016 One Notion plane fiasco – the undeclared donation and the unlicensed pilot – and what was the fallout?

  11. eefteeuu

    Christian Porter, aka known as Frank Spencer from T.V. series “Some Mothers Do Have Them”.

  12. Aortic

    But does he know what metadata is?

  13. Kronomex

    Aortic, yes he does know. He once met a Data at a Trekkie convention.

  14. Roswell

    Kronomex, I’ll pay that one.

  15. Matters Not

    Re;

    charges for crimes against the taxpayer

    Yes we must do all in our power to ensure that taxpayers get a fair go and aren’t being ripped off? But maybe not? So let’s start with the really big taxpayers to test their credentials shall we?

    The biggest taxpayer in Australia is Commonwealth Bank, which showered the national coffers with an humongous $9.3 billion over three years.

    Are you suggesting that the Commonwealth Bank is a (net) victim of crime? Well it is if you use the taxpayer criterion. Further:

    Between them, the Big Four banks recorded $31 billion in tax payable. … they are the biggest taxpayers, thanks to the sheer size of their income. It is a perverse truth, perhaps unpalatable for many, that the profits arising from the systemic corruption by the banks and AMP on display at the Royal Commission, has delivered a boost to the budget.

    It would seem that some of the biggest taxpayers are themselves (moral) criminals. So why should we worry about crimes against same? Why should we use them as the moral reference point? Then again, maybe we identify the wrong target? After all, government isn’t an agency of taxpayers but a representative of citizens – who may (or not) be taxpayers. When one goes to the ballot box one is not asked to show one’s tax returns because they are irrelevant. As is height, weight, gender, wealth, race, religion et al. It’s citizenship that counts. Why even the biggest taxpayers (by far) don’t get to vote.

    I won’t go on because it seems that proper relationships can only be conceptualised in economic terms.

    Top 40 Taxpayers

    As to the main point, it seems to me that for practical reasons, some considerations ought to be given to a statute of limitations.

  16. Paul Davis

    “Rarely has a political fig leaf been so quickly and comprehensively blown away, leaving bare Scott Morrison’s shrivelled little excuse of an integrity commission.” Says Michael Pascoe writing for the NewDaily. Worth a read.

  17. ChristopherJ

    A commission needs to be established to find out where integrity went to die in Canberra.

    I can vaguely point out the when, and what it’s morphed into.

    Is it dead, the concept of integrity?

    Pauline? Don’t waste your vote. Dangerous indeed

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