It was another busy morning at the Trump White House. Morning tweets were completed during bathroom time then hair and makeup performed their magic while POTUS consumed a breakfast of cheeseburgers, followed by a hydroxychloroquine capsule all washed down with a can of coke.

Next the freshly coiffured leader of the western world, sporting a disturbing orange glow [courtesy of Thin Lizzy Cosmetics] was off to the Oval Office for a promo on behalf of Goya Food Products : Ivanka was already in the frame clutching a can of Goya fava beans for the camera.

Jared (Kushner) sits in the corner nervously chewing his fingernails – not sure that his excellent adventure bringing about peace in the Middle East is enough to get him re-elected. Ivanka reminds him that they were not actually elected, ‘it’s known as nepotism’ she points out ‘with side benefits’.

POTUS positions himself behind the Presidential desk posing for the cameras with an array of Goya products and a creepy smile.

Next it’s a meeting with NBC executives who are considering another season of The Apprentice with Donald reviving the role that made him famous and perhaps one that he should have stuck with. Then it’s off for a quick eighteen holes and lunch with his buddies.

Down the corridor Mike (the knife) Pompeo is also planning for his future. This morning he is excited about a meeting scheduled with network bosses who are considering reviving The Sopranos crime series with Mikey assuming the role of Tony Soprano vacated by the late James Gandolfini.

Meanwhile at the Democratic headquarters presidential hopeful Sleepy Joe Biden sits at a desk in the basement behind his COVID-19 face mask. But is it Uncle Joe ? The Democrats are not taking any chances and have lined up a few Biden lookalikes who can step up at a moments notice ; much as Hollywood did with replacement dogs in the Lassie series or piglets in Babe.

On the shoulders of Uncle Joe rest the aspirations of a nation, their most fervent hope being that he stay erect – in the nicest possible way – until at least the inauguration.