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Breaking News: PM And GG Have A Cup Of Tea! Albanese Slammed By Media For Not Being PM…

Ok, I’ve been watching the breaking news where we’ve seen the Prime Minister’s car drive along a predictable route to the Governor-General’s residence. In further news, we saw Morrison have the door of his car opened by his chauffeur and a handshake or two as the group entered via the door.

Inside, we were told, the Prime Minister and the Governor-General will have a cup of tea, which was predicted to last about fifteen minutes and then, we’ll see the PM return to Parliament House where he’ll hold a press conference and announce that the election date is May 21st.

We also treated to an explanation of how the Coalition will try to win the election. Apparently, in 2019, much was made of Scott Morrison in the campaign but now that we’ve got to know him, their tactic will be to emphasise the Opposition Leader. The slogan “Better the devil you know…” has been rejected because it was considered too accurate a description. The emphasis, according to the media, will be on the fact that Anthony Albanese is not the PM and has never been the PM and has never held an economic portfolio and has never appeared in public and nobody knows who he is or what he’s up to and how he’s completely changed his image.. which none of us are meant to know anyway.

The Liberals will yet again tell us that they have a plan without telling us what it actually is, before holding up yet another booklet which they’ve been doing since Tony Abbott held up his Real Solutions book. People seem to have forgotten that this is the same government just because all the major players from that election have since departed.

Yes, it’s going to be a strange election campaign. There’s a lot of discussion about how Labor are well ahead in the polls but the polls were wrong last time so let’s just ignore them.

Let’s be quite clear here: Nobody has cast their vote yet, so anything is possible, BUT polls all tell us that they have a three percent margin of error. If you look at the polls in the weeks IMMEDIATELY before the election, the polls were within that three percent. The other point that’s rarely mentioned is that it was mainly Queensland that didn’t follow the trend and pretty much everywhere else went as predicted with a couple of seats throwing up a surprise.

Because of the “miracle” win last time, people are saying that anything is possible. Actually, I did find it funny to Morrison declared his belief in miracles after his 2019 win. Did he think it was a miracle that anyone would vote for him?

But the trouble with the unpredictable is that it makes us start ignoring the likely. For example, on “Insiders” this morning, Casey Briggs looked at the trend of the polls from the actual 51.5/48.5 result all the way till now. He and his offsider pointed out that polls in previous elections had overstated the Labor vote by a couple of percent. This, Briggs concluded, meant that the Labor vote was closer to a figure that was wrong in 2019. In other words, he was saying that if you take off the two percent overstated Labor vote and then presume that the polls are overstating the Labor vote by two percent again, it’s nearly fifty/fifty. This is like saying that we’re only seven goals behind and the wind has been worth four goals, so that puts us three goals behind and as we’re kicking with the wind, why that’s four goals so we’re in front.

Yes, the election may throw up an unpredictable result. But I think it’s probably worth remembering two things:

  1. Ninety-nine percent of everything is predictable and that’s why the unpredictable throws us.
  2. Most statistics are made up.


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  1. RichardU

    The ABC seems to have a cunning plan to get us to switch to Netflix as a result of boredom or to kill interest in the campaign from day one. As it happens Netflix has an interesting series on Jimmy Savile. At least we were spared his occupying our screens for forty years.

  2. Gangey1959

    I saw a truck yesterday, that had “Labor is sponsored by the CCP”, along with big pictures of wunbunglung and the ALP logo all in huge electronic pictures on back and sides, parked just next to where the local Labor candidate was doing a meetandgreet at the local shops. I got really pissed-off, (for a change) and yelled at the driver and told him to take his pile of lying rubbish (paraphrased) away.
    Some overweight bystander bloke got involved and fronted me, telling me that it was “freedom of speech” and that the truck was ok, etc etc, but then somehow took excepetion to me suggesting that he should take his ignorant halfwit arse and fuck off. “You can’t call me that!” “Freedom of speech, mate. Freedom of speech”.
    I’m sure that Labor are not sponsored by the CCP. They are not the people wearing imitation fake gold rolexes, and being employed by lying dragon Port of Darwin owners, but that is beside the point.
    Maybe the opinion polls are being run by the marketting arm of Krapbiltcheep somewhere in sezhuan, given that there seems to be an inbuilt plus or minus 5% swing “due to manual measurementation and the pictures may not display correctly the same as the actual purchase.”
    Who is this Albo fella anyway? He has no “Hawaii 2020” stickers on his baggage. He’s relatively fit and healthy. He hasn’t got a resume that includes “Sacked from…. Sacked from….” There is no bloody knife in a cabinet draw somewhere with his handprints on it. He doesn’t have a wardrobe full of worn-once hi-viz and other costume garb.
    Maybe now that We the Voter have a Date, the Full Albo will be put on display. He’d better be good.
    We CAN be sure that now May 21 is the official end of the current re-election campaign, the real scott morrison, be that the liarfromtheshire, jerkwithasmirk, scummo, scottyfrommarketting, or whatever the pseudo pm decides to role play as for the next six weeks will be in our faces with as much screen time as voldemurdoch can get him, and he will stoop as low as he needs to to make sure albo doesn’t get his seat in the Big Chair.

  3. Phil Pryor

    I cant wait to say, under my name (unlike many) that it is time to flush the filth, fraud, fantisising, foaming fakes of this putrid, lying, self serving conservative federal government. To me, Morrison is effectively a murderer by laziness, incompetence, delegation to reeking turds like Colbeck, association with a rooting, rorting, raving, rural rubbishy ratbag in Joyce, the incoherent bladderblatherer. Morrison and his support gang have stuffed up everything needed, in Covid support of equipment and supply, bush fires, flood relief, an ICAC which would SLAY these slimes, in foreign affairs and stupid deals, in wage theft, immigration, climate change dereliction of duty. They are Political DESERTERS, gutless, brainless, heartless and totally uncivilised, undereducated and Un-Australian. And Morrison, who must go, is the P M, or Piggery Manager of it. Backstabbing bastard…

  4. GL

    After seeing the moronic “Why I love ‘straya” by Scottie, aged 9, I can’t wait to see, from the waist up, him sitting on a fake white horse (being shaken up and down) with a desert scene behind him singing the national anthem while pretending to play a ukulele. Then we could see the Kim Jong-Un walking in slow motion towards the camera with a big missile on a truck behind him video only with Scummo’s face superimposed over Kim and the two generals faces replaced with Duttonuci and Frieggburger and the theme track from the original Friday the 13th playing in the background.

  5. Kathryn

    The FACT is that Anthony Albanese is one of the most experienced and well-rounded politicians right now! Albanese was elected to the House of Representatives at the 1996 election – more than 26 years ago – winning the seat of Grayndler in New South Wales. He was first appointed to the Shadow Cabinet in 2001 and went on to serve in a number of roles, eventually becoming Manager of Opposition Business in 2006. WHEREAS as the lying, conniving, treacherous political psychopath, Scott Morrison, didn’t become a politician until 11 years later when he was first elected to the Australian House of Representatives at the 2007 election as a member of parliament (MP) for the division of Cook in New South Wales, and was quickly appointed to the shadow cabinet.

    The ONLY reason Morrison won his election to the Cook electorate was on the back of his notorious, treacherous BETRAYAL of his own colleague, Michael Towke (see link below). Morrison has a dodgy background of being sacked or dubiously “let go” from just about every single job he failed to keep before be became a non-achieving, conniving, backstabbing CAREER political parasite who has since gone on to double-cross, betray and backstab a number of his own colleagues INCLUDING Malcolm Turnbull. Who can EVER forget the way Morrison put his arm around Malcolm Turnbull’s shoulders only a short time before he ruthlessly stuck the knife in his back to gain autocratic power ruling the current LNP cabinet containing the absolute worst, most corrupt pack of remorseless political liars, skirt-lifting misogynistic predators and totally corrupt, self-serving miscreants in our history!

    It’s IMPOSSIBLE to think of a worse, more inappropriate, smirking and self-serving miscreant to mismanage and defund our nation into oblivion than the dangerously undemocratic, repugnant, bible-thumping hypocrite, Scott Morrison! FFS, wake up, Australia and kick this monstrous aberration to the gutter at the next federal election because you know – or should know – that’s right where he belongs! The ONLY person with a pulse he cares about is on the face of that smug, smirking psychopath who stares back at him every morning in the mirror!

  6. Kathryn

    At the risk of going on and on, I feel I must reiterate that another 4 years of Morrison’s reckless mismanagement and defundment of our nation will absolutely destroy, annihilate and defund EVERYTHING that Morrison has not had time to defund, annihilate and destroy up until the election! Morrison has proven himself to be the worst, most corrupt, unconscionable, bone-idle political psychopath this nation has EVER seen – even worse than that slimy little war criminal, John Howard and that swaggering, inarticulate misogynist, Tony Abbott!

    Over the last NINE LONG YEARS, Blind Freddy can see that there is nothing – absolutely NOTHING – genuine, compassionate or credible about Morrison who has PROVEN himself – over and over again – to be an unconscionable and inveterate PATHOLOGICAL LIAR who has ZERO integrity, has been internationally condemned and has dragged the (once) good name of our nation through the gutter! Morrison is a signed-up member of Hillsong, the very same paedophile-protecting Cult who’s leader, Brian Houston – who used to be Morrison’s best and, probably, ONLY friend – has also been betrayed and dumped by the treacherous Morrison due to the bad publicity Houston is now getting right before the federal election!

    The vindictive, positively virulent Jerk with the Smirk has treacherously backstabbed his way to the top of the worst, most corrupt, devious, callously inhumane and destructive government in our history – betraying EVERYONE in his path, including Michael Towke (refer the link provided above) and Malcolm Turnbull. It is NO COINCIDENCE that even members of Morrison’s OWN party – the ones who supposedly know this arrogant, totally corrupt political sociopath the best – haven’t got a good word to say about him!

    History has PROVEN that the LNP absolutely THRIVE on division, chaos, HATE, FEAR and WAR! The LNP – and their appalling, totally right-wing-biased allies in the discredited, Z-rated Murdoch press – continue to spew out lies and character-assassinating slander against ANYONE who stand up and justifiably condemn them; ridiculing anyone who attempts to defend or protect our environment and ruthlessly defaming anyone who presents as left-wing! The fact is that the undemocratic LNP/Murdoch/IPA Alliance is the most dangerous and borderline fascist collaboration of corrupt, self-serving and elitist right-wing-extremists in our history!

    RED FLAG WARNING! Anyone stupid enough, short-sighted enough and/or Murdoch-manipulated enough to vote for this unspeakably depraved, smirking, treacherous and vindictive pathological liar, Morrison, will help put back into autocratic power the WORST most malevolent political sociopath in our history! If this coal-loving, gas-fracking, climate-change-denying, Trump-supporting fool, MorriSCUM, crawls back into power, there is NO DOUBT that he will go on and on destroying, vandalising and defunding EVERYTHING this stone-cold parasite didn’t have time to destroy, vandalise and defund up until then INCLUDING aged care, NDIS, just about every program that benefits the poorest, most vulnerable people in our community and the ABC which the LNP has not only defunded to the tune of nearly $1 BILLION (since 2014) but has undemocratically INFILTRATED with appalling, right-wing-biased LNP sycophants, like Ita Buttrose (as Chairwoman), David Speers (and others) in order to control and manipulate EVERYTHING Australians hear and see on our OWN taxpayer-funded station!

  7. Max Gross

    Facts don’t change minds and listening to Morrison is pointless. I am switching off until May 21. And then I will put the Libs last.

  8. Canguro

    Notwithstanding everything Kathryn offers is an accurate summation of the banality and destructiveness of the Morrison regime, a major challenge we face as an electorate in our bid to toss the LNP into the dustbin is the Wrinkled Bastard’s domination of the media landscape and the propensity of the politically naive to absorb the Murdochaganda about Labor = Bad = Chinese Affiliation = Union Domination of the labour market = Loss of Negative Gearing = Retrograde Social Policies = Higher Taxes = Economic Irresponsibility = Shutting down of the coalfields with massive unemployment & social disruption and so on.

    I don’t know what strategies the Labor Party have to counter this impending wave of lies but let’s hope Australians can, for once, see the Murdoch press propaganda for what it is and tune it out.

  9. Williambtm

    Hello Kathryn, I like your usage of our language, much in line with the AIM’s regular commenters, to accurately portray Australia’s USA posterior port-slurping excuse in his being a hugely dangerous PM.
    Next in line will have to be an external nation audit conducted into Australia’s Electoral Commission following the 2019 election that had delivered this bloviating bloated enemy to the people of Australia.
    Third, in the line will be the unmasking of then the deprecation of, the heads of Australia’s mainstream media, busily publishing their slippery slop of support to the USA’s posterior port-slurping Scomo fraudster then the USA in particular.

    Australia is undergoing the throes of being deceptively overtaken by the worst elements of the USA’s offensive military forces, followed by their corporate plundering resource profiteers, much to the detriment of Australia & its people.
    The people in our sovereign nation must halt the infiltration of arguably the most murderous and dishonest country, the USA, from accomplishing its long term strategy to take complete control of this world’s Pacific Ocean and its multitude of resources.
    Has anyone been busy keeping a running sheet concerning the amount of Australia’s annual revenues in their Billions currently being sent offshore to the USA lying infiltrators, the Arms & weapons manufacturing corporations in that murderous nation? Another point of concern is how the USA is sinisterly engaged in their proxy Ukraine war against Russia and the President, Vladimir Putin, previously the most admired national leader across our globe.
    The terrifying fact is that the USA currently controls the Ukraine-war narrative that is being dishonestly published worldwide, all about the evils claimed against Vladimir Putin. President Putin well knows the dark forces of the USA now directed toward himself and his nation that were initiated by their CIA’s successful plotted coup to install a pro-American government leader back in 2014.
    NB: I pay out $120 plus dollars a month to international independent news sources outside of the USA & Australia to gain the facts as they happen and or how they have been contrived by the hatred that underscores the war-mongering USA.

  10. GL

    “‘This election is about you, no one else,’ Morrison says.” I gather Scummo was looking at himself in his little hand mirror when he made that comment and forgetting that he was outside parliament house when he was at an announcables press conference.

  11. Phil

    A lifelong Liberal voter who dislikes Morrison and the Coalition’s rorts, corruption and dismal performance, decides to vote Labor but then sees Labor is well ahead in the polls. Although he/she wants Labor to win, doesn’t want them to win by too much – therefore thinks they don’t have to break a lifetime habit of voting Liberal and does so. After Labor losses again, they say the polls were wrong – No, they were used in the game of physiological manipulation and good people were conned, again.

  12. Andrew J. Smith

    Phil: Agree, an important point to highlight a tactic used by conservatives to induce apathy from younger and/or opposing voters i.e. promoting poll leads by e.g. Labor, and what happened in both Brexit and Trump; the former had many young not voting (assuming Remain would win) and the latter was the ‘Bannon strategy’ i.e. having non GOP people not vote for Hillary-Democrats (sufficient to give more electoral college votes to Trump).

    Crosby Textor or ‘masters of the dark arts’, influenced by GOP types, have the advantage of right wing legacy media resonating with their polling topics etc., giving the correct interpretation aka PMO’s media drops to selected senior journalists.

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