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Abbott, Hockey and Pyne – A Satirist’s Nightmare!

Well, for a few months it was easy to send up this government. You only had to repeat what they said and exaggerate it slightly, or, in many cases, just juxtapose it beside something else that they were saying. Tony criticising the Opposition for having no alternatives, for example.

But lately, there is no way to actually exaggerate their position. Look at this recent offering from Christopher Pyne:

“Mr Pyne said he had no “ideological opposition” to collecting debts from the estates of former students who died still owing money to the government’s student loan scheme.”

Now, perhaps the Liberals are concerned that – like the long term unemployed – people will hit the jackpot by dying before they’ve paid off their HECS debt. (One edition of The Herald-Sun this morning had the headline “Dole Jackpot” on the front page. It then proceeded to tell us that there were many lucky people who’d been on unemployment benefits for over ten years. Lucky bastards. Obviously, they should be given a job immediately, but strangely firms are reluctant to hire people who’ve been out work that long. In a later edition, the front page had a photo of Rolf Harris with the caption, “I DIDN’T DO IT!” Which struck me as a rather strange headline when he’s been accused of multiple offences. Not as strange, however, as the fact that he performed a section of “Jake The Peg” while giving evidence. Of all his songs, I would have thought that singing, “I’m Jake the Peg with the extra leg” would be the last you’d bring out in a trial like that. I’M NOT MAKING THAT BIT UP. However, I am tempted to add the fiction that under cross examination, he was forced to perform “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” without his wobble board.)

But back to Mr Pyne. If HECS only kicks in when you earn over a certain amount, one wonders how much he expected dead people to earn in any given year? Or is there some “Work for The Dead” scheme in the offing.

And I thought the most ridiculous thing I’d hear today was the shifting of a few million from the Royal Commission on Child Abuse to the Royal Commission on the Home Insulation Scheme.

I’m embedding a poll from the Abbott Government’s first 50 days just for nostalgia for the good old days when many people thought they were merely evil, instead of mean, stupid and incompetent.

 

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50 comments

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  1. DanDark

    You have to give it to trash news,
    Even promoting, a sociopath pedophile
    “I didn’t do it”
    it’s sickening to people who have been a victim of a pedophile and their families
    Who promotes a pedophile?
    I will just go and throw a dart at my Murdoch faced dart board

  2. Tracie

    I can’t vote. There isn’t an ‘all of the above’.

  3. Kaye Lee

    Tracie, I am in the same boat. I could do the first survey but the second just had me in a quandry wanting to choose all options plus add about a hundred more of my own.

  4. flrpwll

    Yeah, sorry. I probably stuffed up your results on the second poll. I clicked on all of them.

  5. Stephen Tardrew

    I would click on anything to make these shysters look like the incompetent liars they are.

  6. Fed up

    What has not been emphasised is that Brandis denied taking the money, earlier this year.

  7. Fed up

    What was Andrews screaming about, at Jenny, when he denied that the pensioner supplement is not going. What in the hell is he talking about. Jenny seemed to have the same problem, I have.

  8. Sonum Norbu

    They are so funny, especially Pyne. Nothing that came out of his mouth would surprise me.

  9. Fed up

    We see that Pyne is opening up the tertiary education sector to all comers. Cast ones mind back to Howard’s education visas and mainly Indian students, Remember the thousands that were ripped off by fraudsters and fly by nighters.

    The problems that Labor experience with the Pink Batts will seem minor, if Pyne gets his way.

    As someone said, we will see degrees, with no value at all.

    I believe we all ready have problems in the TAFE area, and courses set up in competition.

  10. Fed up

    Definitely lying this time. Many are concerned at the sluggish wage growth. A record levels I believe. Wages have not keeping up with inflation, in spite of labour productivity growing.

    No,. there is no wage breakout.

    Wage increases are needed, to keep consumer consumption growing.

    Each year, there is a smaller slice of the pie going to labour.

  11. Fed up

    If this government goes ahead with the cuts to family budgets, one can see the worker going after higher wages to fill the gap.

  12. Kaye Lee

    I have noticed ross, that many people think your satire is real, a trap I have also fallen into until the “and here we are back in Venice with more of those gondolas” line. On the other hand, I have people telling me that my direct quotes from the budget documents are bullshit. Strange times indeed.

  13. mars08

    I notice the usual LNP media boosters are stepping up the old reliable “divide and conquer” routine.

    So far this week I have seen stories targeting student, the Disability Support Pension and dole bludgers. Even some fluff about race relations. It seems to me that the tories trying to win back the social-conservative, middle-age, male, Anglo-Saxon vote by blaming smaller, weaker groups for causing the budget brutality.

  14. john921fraser

    <

    @Rossleigh

    I stopped laughing and now I am turning up my nose at the 'stinking carcass" that Abbott & Hockey are trying to sell as a garland of sweet pear.

  15. Lee

    Let’s call the horse life challenged……

  16. rossleighbrisbane

    Unfortunately, Kaye Lee, Pyne really did suggest collecting HECS from the dead and Rolf really did sing in court. Like I said, satire is hard because the most warped mind finds hard to think of something more absurd than Abbott, Pyne and co.

  17. Kaye Lee

    ross,

    Yes so I heard. As you so often show, their antics are weirder than anyone could make up. You have a unique ability to make me laugh and cry at the same time.

    And on a completely different note…GO THE BLUES!!!!!!!!

  18. rangermike1

    As usual, Brilliant copy Mr. Ross. Keep it up.

  19. rangermike1

    Kaye Lee,Go the Maroons.I live in Western Australia and dislike Kick and Giggle. C’mon QLD.

  20. Sonum Norbu

    What bothers me is that in spite of all their very obvious lies, people still support them. WHY?

  21. Sonum Norbu

    Oh, and GO MAROONS!

  22. lawrencewinder

    The Liarbrils need to bill Clarke & Dawe for stealing their material.

  23. Michael C Stark

    I am with Tracie – I wanted an “all of the above” option!

  24. charybds

    I really couldn’t decide on the second one ..
    So I chose Pyne because he really has a gift for getting even more ridiculous each day.
    I think he’s even more repulsive than that Belgian ‘Hermannn’ or ‘Goebels’ or whatever his name is …
    Who preselected those tools anyway?
    I think we need to deport at least 3 of the govt. as it stands .. can we send Pyne along as well?
    We could send them in a nice safe boat to Cambodia (will the orange ones float long enough?)
    It’s probably best not to rush though .. wouldn’t want them to miss the party in the streets after they get sacked and lose their seats..

  25. Cassandra Karpinski

    your poll needs another option or two

    like “all of the above” or “existing”?

  26. Degan

    Yes, people. Just click all of the boxes… time could have been saved with an “All of the above” box. We should start a royal commission into why such gross incompetence has been displayed in this survey.

  27. Billy moir

    The support stems from god and sound of the size of labor’s debt. This provides a licence to complete little johnnies political mission to destroy the dole bludging culture of unemployed and the culture of unionism. This was once summarised as destroy the labor party but the labor pollies have already completed that task and now are reduced to whining about lost ego because they and the coalition came from the same schools, the same church, the same era. Two roads to the same destination. The co payment is unnecessary and will be harsh on many but this is a drop in the ocean compared to the most wasteful gifts to any business who can copy the Whitehouse Institute formula. I wonder how many shares in these institutes are in coalition and labor portfolios. A good advertising campaign will be worth an extra few hundred students at a cool $6 million/100 up front before a photocopy page has been read either by the students to too them because pre-requisites are no higher than universities and there are thousands of students who are functionally grade 5 NAPLAN failures.

  28. Lee

    This is why we should encourage kids to stay off drugs.

  29. Billy moir

    Sorry it is so depressing even my senile brain is faster than fingers. There is no debt crisis yet but it suits the Jesuits to fool their supporters into accepting the American way. Although the way we tip every business will be, like in the goodoldUSofA, subsidised by welfare.

  30. diannaart

    I ticked Christopher Pyne because the question was asking the “most ridiculous thing”. Had the question been “what is the most reprehensible action taken by the Abbott government since election” – the choice would’ve been almost limitless and an “all of the above” most definitely required.

  31. sandrasearle

    Sorry folks, but I cheated once I found out that you can tick the lot & they all stay ticked. It gave me a sense of satisfaction I can tell you especially when I saw the results because I started of with ‘that some people think they are still competent’.

  32. Terry2

    Oh dear!

    Pyne has said that HECS debts would be collectable from a deceased student’s estate which, as he moves to privatise the HECS system is inevitable as no commercial operator or bank would take on the scheme without the ability to tap into a deceased estate. Hockey came out and said that was normal commercial practice, so there.

    Abbott has come out and said that HECS debts are written off if the student dies and are not part of a deceased estate.

    When they said the adults were in charge, who were they talking about ?

  33. John.R.

    I voted for the debt ceiling.It is the largest amount of hypocrisy ever They borrow another $200 billion of which the interest only shows up in the budget then tell everyone there is a budget emergency
    Funny how the MSM do not question them on this and peddle the line that labor spent to much…But I should know by now not to expect to much from people of this calibre as they have only chosen to be a politician in life………………………………….

  34. patsy

    when my daughter passed all her debts went too…..is this the way it was or is there a new abbott policy????????

  35. Carol Taylor

    Pasty, what happened up until now is that once a person earns over $38,000pa is that money is automatically deducted. For someone earning $60,000 this means a repayment of $72.00 per week. Therefore clearly up until now the HECS debt has been manageable and as a person starting out in their careers gradually increases in salary, so their HECS debt is more rapidly paid off.

    However with Hockey’s new you’beaut idea it means that it will add around $45,000 to the amount the person has to repay. An example appeared in the Fairfax press recently which showed that a woman with a degree in accounting who took time off to have children and then went back to work part time would have to work an additional TWENTY-SIX YEARS to pay the debt off if Hockey’s plan gets through.

    That is, currently it takes 10 years to pay off the debt but under Hockey it will take 36 years.

    One thought crossed my mind: the Abbott government would saddle young people with decades of debt which of course would make it almost impossible to buy a house and start a family. Yet for the uber-wealthy who by some miracle can be 1. Of child-bearing age and 2. Earning $100,000 and 3. Actually want to have children (not many women in Australia with that combination), Abbott will donate to you $50,000 to take time of to bond with bubs. Sounds to me like social engineering by stealth, deter any other than the wealthy from breeding and reward ‘women of calibre’ for doing so.

  36. Fed up

    Does one pick a university course by how much money they make? I suspect not. Most look for the courses, that meet their needs. What they want to spend their lives doing., What fits in with their interests, talents and desires.

    It must be good, that this is so. If not, where would our welfare, nurses, scientist and many essential workers of the future come from.

    These people over time, flock to these fields. Where does that leave one, when saddled with huge debts for life. Will the wages in these fields have to rise, to attract skilled workers?

    Education is not a PRIVILGE. It is a right. Without it being that way, no civil society can flourish.

  37. Fed up

    So Mr Pyne has an emotional connect to private schools. Mr Pyne, many more, have a emotional connection to public schools.

    It is as a government minister, your is to represent the public schools that so many of us have an emotional connection to.

    Yes, and we also see those public schools as being more practical and the most economic way to go.

    What is so hard about distributing the money, to each individual child and their needs, regardless of what school they attend.

    Yes, fund the child, not the school. That has been identified as highly inefficient and wasteful. Mr Gonski agrees worth you when you say raising the amount of money spent has not led to improvements.

    Gonski, along with many others, identified why this was so.

    Yes, it is the distribution of the money. You are going back to a worse system.
    o
    If you took the time to read the Gonski report, you will find, he recommends all else you say is important.

    What he also says, it cannot come about under your, it seems now, emotional distribution of monies.

  38. Fed up

    Abbott’s faceless men. Always men, I suspect/

    Abbott’s faceless men of the IPA

    Mike Seccombe

    There is one group to which Tony Abbott has kept his promises since becoming prime minister: the Institute of Public Affairs.

    The data is in, and it shows Australia now overwhelmingly thinks Prime Minister Tony Abbott is a man whose word cannot be trusted. Depending on which poll you look at, and the exact nature of the questions asked of respondents, somewhere between two-thirds and three-quarters of voters think the first budget of the Abbott government was nasty, unfair and littered with broken promises. They consider the man himself to be a liar.

    ….

    http://www.thesaturdaypaper.com.au/news/politics/2014/05/31/abbotts-faceless-men-the-ipa/1401458400#.U4lvzlqKDSc

  39. diannaart

    Thanks for link , Fed up.

    Have tweeted and posted accordingly this much needed analysis of the Institute of Perpetual Avarice.

  40. Fed up

    Yes, Mr Abbott, you might expect to get that budget through,, Why you would think this, is beyond me.

    I believe Mr Abbott, those on the other sid3e will be voting on behalf of their electorate.

    Mr Abbott, your job is to convince them, and more importantly us, that what you are doing is what we want, and will benefited the nation, and it’s people.

    Tony Abbott seems to have fallen into the same trap as Paul Keating in 1993. Keating refused to accept that John Hewson had handed him that win; he insisted on believing it was an endorsement of him and his philosophy.

    Like Keating, Abbott triumphed on negatives. But now he and his colleagues think they have a mandate to transform dramatically the society and its culture, going far beyond what people expected.

    There’s little sign, however, that the government has the political skills to match its ambition, or that the community shares its often uncompromising, black-and-white view of the world.

    The senior one-time moderates have become the true believers, marching
    …….

    https://theconversation.com/the-government-needs-to-put-aside-its-superiority-complex-and-get-the-tin-ear-fixed-27398

    Mr Abbott we need more than threats, dramatics, stunts, slogans and motherhood statements.

    We need to hear clearly and more important, truthfully what you are attempting to do.

  41. Fed up

    Should be in quotes.

    Tony Abbott seems

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