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What’s next from Scomb-over?

What’s next from Scomb-over von Skidmark?

The Daggy Dad routine has been put on hold

We are eighteen months on from Scooter Morrison’s Hawaiian decamping holiday during the devastating 2019-20’s bushfires and signs of re-growth have been appearing – the ScoFro on the top of Scooter’s head.

In the middle of a pandemic with millions of stressed citizens in lockdown and a vaccine roll-out in a shambles we will at least be re-assured that in this time of crisis the Prime Minister of our nation remains focused on his image.

The ScoMo™ personality cult, carefully crafted and managed by a legion of spin doctors, image wranglers and media manipulators from the Gaetjens, Kunkel & Finkelstein stain removal service within the Ministry of Propaganda will likely have been undergoing some panicked revisions. Following clear evidence that their boy’s integrity deficit is becoming too evident to too many there will have been some collective shatting of dacks – there’s nothing like a dive in the polls to motivate the re-packaging of their dodgy product.

Don’t expect any tattoos, a moustache or Scooter learning the drums but ‘ScoMo’s homemade curries’ (sic) will probably stay on the PR roster – cynical shmaltz to help calm a wavering base of middle-aged white blokes who are increasingly susceptible to buyer’s remorse when their golf courses are closed and their jet-skis are stored under a tarp.

Bogan Scotty downing a champagne shoey to insert himself into Olympic successes? Maybe just some green and gold face paint – Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oik, oik, oik! Not likely – I’m betting that saviour Scotty the Dear Leader will replace Daggy Dad for some little while at least.

Let’s not under-estimate the challenge posed for his grooms and bag carriers. The nation has not grown along with the noble aspirations of an inspirational leader – a Chifley or a Whitlam; it is shrinking to fit the stunted vision of a small mind that is untroubled by scruples, honesty or shame. Grand oratory that uplifts a nation has been replaced by the unprompted denials on a radio talk show that he’d shat himself at a fast food joint. So proud, so uplifted that this contemptible turd is in the national wheelhouse. The re-invention of Scooter should at least be an entertainment during lockdown.

Dear Leader will need to control the smirk. This ever-present tic broadcasts his arrogance and is never a good look but less so when you’re responsible for the most spectacular fail since federation. Expect the default to now be serious Scotty – an earnest expression topped by the newly fluffy coiffe. There will be waves of gish-galloped, focus-grouped inanities – “all in this together”, “keeping Australians safe”, “saving lives and livelihoods” and on and on and on ’til your will to live is only saved by your desire to see this useless braggart removed from office.

Heroic, sad Jen the ever-reliable empathy prop should get a good run. Jen’s been stressed in lockdown, apparently. Uncomforted by the panoramic harbour views across manicured lawns yet Jen’s trivial tribulations should play well with the North Shore Range Rover set whose gardeners have been unable to tend to the topiary and the mums of middle Australia will swallow it like a rent boy in a prayer room just as they did for Gladdy Twoshoes’ Poor Sad Gladys schtick.

In keeping true to neo-liberal/Pentacostal win/lose principles, for Scooter to shine others must suffer. Fingers will be pointed, colleagues will be back-grounded, lambs will be sacrificed, rugs will be pulled from under friend and foe and never shall accountability or blame be assigned to The Dear Leader whose true self is there to see for those who bother to look. We’d be better off if, for PM, someone had filled a wetsuit with the contents from the spa filter at an eczema convention.

Fun with Schadenfreude

Not all is doom and gloom:

Christian Porter will never be Prime Minister.

Christian Porter and barrister Sue Chrysanthou may have to pay $500,000 in legal fees to Jo Dyer.

One Nation’s James Ashby failed to convince the Federal Court the Government should meet his legal costs to date via an “act of grace” payment of $4.5 million.

Cream bun connoisseur Gorgeous George Christensen and Flaccido Domingo Craig Kelly will both be missing from Parliament after the next election.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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15 comments

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  1. ajogrady

    If ever people needed evidence that “bullshit baffles brains” they need to look no further then the gish galloping Scovid Morriscum.

    The argument by Gladys that it is about the slow vaccine rollout is correct but her initial response of a lockdown lite was wrong and is now the main problem that is being compounded by the Morrison government. There was plenty of evidence from around the world that the Delta variant was far more contagious and needed a swift sharp response. This did not happen. Because of Gladys’s poor judgement and Scovid Morrisons lack of a proper vaccine procurement strategy, not enough fit for purpose quarantine facilities and one of the worlds slowest vaccine rollouts it is causing the people of NSW, Victoria and SA to be suffering untold anguish and hardships because of their combined failings.
    If it was a race and the Morrison government was competing in the relay race in the Covid-19 Olympics the result would be at every baton exchange the baton has been dropped and fumbled causing distress and anxiety amongst the spectators because team captain Morrison said that they were not in a race. The Book of Proverbs, 16:18, Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

  2. Harry Lime

    Perhaps the Liar’s minders could persuade him to wear a baboon’s arse face mask to improve his image,and work on putting some sincerity into his constant lying.Better still,have him retire to spend more time at Horizon Tithing and Finance Inc.Anything at all, as long as he’s gone from our lives.I’ll even settle for a opportune lightning strike.

  3. Florence Howarth

    Maybe true, but Gladys acted too slowly, not locking down hard enough. The load quickly became too heavy for trace/ trackers. One only has hours, not days to get all contacts into isolation. Gladys, PM & the media ignored this. The only option available IMHO is a lockdown in Sydney Basin for five or more days. Doing nothing is not an option. Holding out the months it will take vaccination to kick in will lead to disaster. Honesty is what is most needed.

  4. pierre wilkinson

    Our beloved Leader has already started on “how good are the Aussie athletes” and has already compared our hopeless vaccine roll out to the preparation of said athletes, slow and steady then going for gold, just like his vaccine roll out…. which is going really really well…
    and of course he is sorry
    – that the great unwashed masses fail to recognise the tremendous sacrifices he has personally had to make on our behalf… after all, he hasn’t had a true holiday for simply ages and poor Jen is sick of Gladys not allowing her out amongst the hoi polloi …
    but all is not yet lost
    Uncle rupie promised him that if he behaves himself for the next couple of months, all will be forgiven and that nasty Labor Party will be castigated as demons once again

    sigh<
    alas our poor country

  5. pierre wilkinson

    gee, what happened to my witty response?

  6. GL

    “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

    Should read, “Vanity goeth before destruction, and a hairy head before a fail.”

  7. leefe

    @ ajogrady

    *swoons over someone finally quoting that line correctly.

  8. Canguro

    @Harry Lime… why stop at a baboon’s arse-face mask… Christ, go the whole hog man… put him in a monkey suit… tailored so that he is constrained to loping around all fours, and held by a leash.

    If there was any sanity left in this society per our response to LNP public office and its ‘faces of authority’ we’d also mandate he be caged and let out at various venues to suffer the wrath of the people who he’s royally rogered in his obscene tenure. Nothing too violent mind you… no hanging drawing & quartering… just rotten fruits and bags of stale piss.

    And given his transactional relationship to Christianity, let’s get literal, an eye for an eye & a tooth for a tooth. All those poor bastards he’s kept locked up in shithole dentention sites, caged like dogs… let him endure that also, for as long as it takes… forever if necessary. He’ll eventually realise his $50 M ill-gotten filthy lucre is of no use at all, as he sweats it out in his cage, his pudgy softman body dessicating and scabbed. A pox on the pox, and may hell await him.

  9. BB

    Whilst roast Porkers will never be Prime Menu items there are still half baked Potato dishes and rancid Fried Hamburger leftovers on the smorgasbord to bring about severe stomach cramps and acute food poisoning.

  10. Canguro

    Heads up to Rossleigh for his link to an honest government ad.

    Here’s more from that source… a wealth of wisdom for the interested.

  11. Mr Bronte ALLAN

    Great ad Rossleigh, great article Grumpy Geezer! ALL so bloody true!

  12. GL

    How about a nice little tax payer funded 5 day “trade mission” involving the mad monk being sent to India?

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/aug/02/coalition-to-spend-19k-to-send-tony-abbott-on-trade-mission-to-india

    ““The Australian government is supporting Mr Abbott’s travel to India for the amount of approximately $19,000,” the spokesperson told Guardian Australia. Mr Abbott will not be remunerated for his work.”” I think $4k a day for incidentals and who knows how much of the unspent cash will disappear into his bank accounts that doesn’t count as remuneration.

  13. wam

    Well done, grumpy.
    I see you have found another miracle!

  14. wam

    you might check out his nose???

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