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We shouldn’t laugh about Morrison’s COVID, we should cry

By Andrew Wicks

Yes, Scott Morrison has COVID. But jokes aside, how did the most protected man in the country fail to protect himself?

Late last night, the spirit of pandemic (not so) past visited the Morrison household. Via a media statement, written in his inexorable style, the Prime Minister confirmed that he tested positive to COVID. “I am experiencing flu-like symptoms and will be recovering over the next week. I am continuing to follow health guidelines and am isolating(sic) at home in Sydney. Jenny and the girls have thankfully tested negative,” he said.

Now, while the public’s COVID-marginalising-leader-catching-COVID schadenfreude is well established (see: Dutton, Boris), the nice people of Twitter have poked some holes in his story. In his statement, Morrison said he was testing himself “daily since Sunday.” However, on that day, he was in Queensland, meeting with the Premier, Deputy Mayor and all those coordinating the flood response in that state. Users are rightly asking, why did he suddenly start testing on Sunday, and who else did he infect on his travels?

There’s more. As Sally Rugg asked on Twitter, “why no PCR test for two days while symptomatic?” Moreover, how did his PCR test return a result in just a few hours, when it takes the rest of the populace days, primarily due to the lab testing (and transportation) required? Unless, of course, Morrison has a travelling lab that follows him around wherever he goes, or he’s lied about when he knew.

But while there should be no joy in celebrating another’s COVID, Morrison’s case is a moment of reflection, where we should think about all the regular citizens who were put in danger through his policy to favour the economy or the individual; those who faced work or school or the necessities of life, those who had no choice but to work, or somehow survive with zero financial assistance or sat in completely unprepared aged care facilities, disconnected, watching their friends die as they hope it doesn’t walk down the hall. We should think of them as we wonder why the most protected man in the country couldn’t protect himself.

But therein lies the trap. When one actually experiences what we’re all fearing, you’d assume that perceptions would change. Charles Dickens’ Ebenezer Scrooge chose to push his actions beyond mere platitude when he experienced the breadth of his awfulness. He chose to use his power to save the ailing Tiny Tim from death. As Dickens wrote, “Scrooge was better than his word…he became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world.”

Whether Scott Morrison will come to the same revelation on the other side of his COVID-induced fever dream, we do not know. But we know where he stands, as we’ve lived it. In the words of the man himself, we should be “living with the virus” and “we should treat it like the flu.”



God bless us, everyone.

This article was originally published on The Big Smoke.


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  1. Patriciawa

    James! Even the flu makes one feel rotten! We should be kind to him! Send him get well messages! How about this?

    Our PM is sick, needs a rest! Just when we need him at his best!
    Take care PM! Meanwhile, ‘pro tem’,
    Let your Deputy take over! Then you’ll soon recover!
    You said yourself, “Australia’s a great nation!” Not given to mass perturbation!
    You rest up! PM! Please! Stay ‘at home’ in bed and health restoring self-isolation.

  2. leefe

    Frankly, I hope he stays isolated for the rest of his life.

  3. Stephengb

    Interesting that the first reaction to snotty’s news is to suspect him of lying about some aspect of his revelation.

  4. Henry Rodrigues

    What, the liar caught the virus ? Probably another stunt to garner some voter sympathy.

    Is Adam Taylor going to post daily pictorial updates of Scummo bravely carrying on his official duties from home, while cooking curries, constructing cubby houses and washing Jen’s hair. I know, I know, perish the bloody thought.

  5. Matthew Synnott

    Do you think he wanted to get Covid-19, in a last ditch effort to gain sympathy vote, nothing else seems to be working? He would need something a lot more serious to get my sympathy and I still wouldn`t vote for him.

  6. BigKat

    Not sure if I am on my own here but I would have to see Scotty on a ventilator before I believe his COVID story.When one continues to blatantly lie one may expect doubt to surround every statement uttered.He will more than likely live comfortably alongside it as he has stressed to us mere mortals.On the up side endless opportunities for photo ops.

  7. GL

    Do I have anything even vaguely resembling sympathy for Scummo? No need to answer, I think everyone can guess the answer to that question.

  8. leefe

    Are we sure he hasn’t just snuck out of the country for another holiday?

  9. ajogrady

    Catastrophic bushfires and Morrison takes a holiday. Catastrophic floods and Morrison takes a sicky.
    Not only has the Morrison government been a liability to the defence of Australia but has been a major impediment to Australia and Australians reaching their true potential. The Morrison government is a health and wealth hazard.
    A crisis in defence procurement,a crisis in aged care, a crisis in the economy and a huge policy vacuum in addressing the Climate Crisis.
    In a matter of a few weeks or so the Morrison L/NP government has massively added to its trust deficit by allowing an unidentified person or persons to pay a huge amount of money for Christian Porters supposed legal bill. Cuting and running leaving those Afghanis who stood side by with our troops leaving their fate in the hands of the Taliban. Reneged on a contract to build submarines with France jeopardizing trade with our second largest trading partner the EU , angered beyond belief Australia number 1 trading partner and sadistically gave the Biloela family no hope or stability. Add to that the non existant Climate Crisis policy and the rampant corruption that continues unabated without the Morrison promised Integrity Commission. The Morrison government has trashed Australias once good international reputation.

    How much more of this incompetence and stupid arrogance do we have to endure?

  10. johnyperth.

    I wonder how bad it is?
    I also wonder if he will resign before he’s “back stab” by his own party just before this federal election?
    Something to think about?

  11. Kathryn

    So after the arrogant, totally corrupt and self-serving Morrison pompously stated that there “was no emergency”, “no hurry” and “no rush” in dealing with the early stages of the dangerous pandemic, Covid-19, he has now (finally) found himself infected with the very same disease that he and his repugnant cabinet refused to acknowledge all those months ago! This is an overpaid tyrant to increased his OWN salary (and the salaries of his non-achieving cabinet) whilst stagnating the wages of others; a man who “can’t hold a hose”; a bone-idle individual who expends more energy running away from responsibility and getting OUT of work than doing one single thing to enhance or improve the lives of others; who has zero empathy for ANYONE or anything but his own insatiable thirst for power (without glory) and the ruthless acquisition of personal wealth; a man who has just about destroyed Australia’s once enviable international reputation as an intelligent, compassionate and progressive nation in rapid time; who is a signed-up member of a dangerously deluded, misogynistic, paedophile-protecting religious CULT of Hillsong; whose stratospheric level of smug arrogance and born-to-rule connivance goes way, way beyond what anyone could describe as acceptable, who has been proven to be a recidivist pathological LIAR without conscience! It just proves that the failed, phoney marketeer and bone-idle, Sloth Morrison, really believed that he was untouchable in his deluded political bubble! Morrison becoming infected with Covid-19 comes under the heading of KARMA!

    johnyperth, yes it may be likely that the toxic, totally inept and non-achieving LNP cabinet could decide to kick the malignant misogynist, Morrison, to the kerb if they fail to win the next federal election – but I doubt that they will be stupid enough to do so beforehand. The LNP are so on-the-nose right now and changing one corrupt, totally inept and dysfunctional leader for another would be political suicide! Besides, who the hell have the LNP got to take his place? There is not one single lying, conniving, self-serving parasite in the whole LNP cabinet worth a dime! What they have waiting in the wings are dangerously undemocratic, callously inhumane sociopaths like the unspeakably depraved, child-torturing psychopath: Peter Dutton, the shrieking harridan Michaelia Cash, the rorting self-serving diva Sussan Leigh and other truly vile, sanctimonious, narcissistic political megalomaniacs who have NOTHING but a massive sense of entitlement! The LNP’s destructive alliance with the corrupt, totally biased media mogul, Rupert Murdoch (now a 100% American citizen) is not only undemocratic, it borders on fascism! Howard relaxed the rules of media ownership in this country to ensure that most of the media in this nation would be monopolised by his despicable Propaganda Minister, Rupert Murdoch! Now we have the appalling situation where Murdoch owns and runs just about EVERY form of media in the nation making Australia’s media one of the worst, most biased and undemocratic forms of media in the free world. There are very good reasons why the LNP and Murdoch now have the ABC in their sights! The notorious LNP/Murdoch/IPA Alliance has done SO MUCH to spread toxic misinformation, lies and unadulterated slander against ANYONE and everyone who stand against the mutually-benefiting collaboration the evil Alliance maintain at the expense of democracy, freedom of speech and the fair, just and truthful reporting of impartial news in this country!

    The fact that, once again – right before a federal election – Morrison, the vicious LNP cabinet and Murdoch are reverting to their MODUS OPERANDI of vile personal attacks and vicious character-assassinating lies against members of the ALP and The Greens in order to (try) and score cheap political points! Quite frankly, it all REEKS of unadulterated DESPERATION by a regime that has achieved nothing and done so much to defund, destroy and annihilate EVERYTHING Australians value over the last 9 years of catastrophic devastation, unspeakable inhumanity, rising political corruption and environmental vandalism!

    The LNP (and their malevolent mates in the Murdoch press) are a dangerously fascist, totally corrupt and profit-obsessed group of self-serving sociopaths who THRIVE on conflict, fear, misogyny, racism, elitism and hate! Furthermore, the LNP have a LONG history of eagerly participating in any off-shore WAR in order to provide a suitable DISTRACTION to divert public attention away from the LNP’s escalating corruption, non-stop lies, self-serving rorting, reckless ineptitude and their total inability to lead with any level of credibility or integrity! This was PROVEN with the LNP’s rush to sacrifice the lives of so many young Australians in the diversionary wars of Korea, Vietnam and Howard’s ruthless, self-serving involvement in the catastrophic genocidal slaughter of the Iraqi war that caused the destabilisation of the whole middle east and the death and displacement of countless millions of innocent Iraqis and Syrians!

    There can be no doubt that the sooner the LNP are kicked to the kerb, the better! Australia can NEVER EVER progress under the undemocratic jackboot of a pack of ultra-conservative political demons, pompous chest-beating, bible-thumping Hillsong cultists, religious hypocrites and cold-blooded sociopaths! Going back decades, the LNP have PROVEN themselves to be the most depraved political regime to have ever crossed the electoral line and the Howard, Abbott and MorriSCAMMER regimes are the absolute WORST of a very, very bad bunch!

  12. wam

    I heard that the spirits of the past, present and future refused to work with scummo when they saw the prick breathing all over people when possibly infectious. If she is infected she should sue the bastard for assault causing bodily harm. Trump exercise into covid “”I think this was a blessing from God that I caught it. This was a blessing in disguise,” Trump said, adding that his use of the medication from Regeneron Pharmaceuticals Inc REGN.O had allowed him to experience first-hand how effective it could be.” seemed a fizzer but scummo will milk his confinement. Will the litany of adverts have any effect on voters? I doubt it. It will strengthen my resolve that the lying nasty prick. barring a last minute gaff by albo or a trick by the bandit, is a goner.
    Kathryn, he doesn’t increase his ‘own salary’. Thanks to a sleazy lawyer, an ‘independent’ quango has that task and she not only obviated the risk of the pollies voting on payrises but also kept the public from knowing the details.
    As much as I admire, julia, the salary decision puts her in the bottom drawer.

  13. Max Gross

    Yeah I’m laying odds that Sideshow Scott is faking it. Given his history of bullshitting I reckon that’s a fair cop.

  14. Henry Rodrigues

    GL… Both Frigger and smarmy faced Wilson are representative of the kind of coalition pricks who think their shit don’t stink, until their fart gives them away. Frigger relies on his family connections and his social circles to lay as the rightful heir to Costello’s throne. As for Wilson, the only thing that would improve his image is shit pie in his face. He reminds me of that ghastly Sophie Mirabella.

  15. GL

    Oh dear, oh dear. Please, please let this happen. What will Scummo say? “Cough, cough, I’m sick and can’t answer any questions. Cough, cough.”

    The bit that caught my eye was “… just two months out from the election.” Does The Murdoch know something we don’t and could it be considered a “Whoops, that was a mistake.” moment?

  16. Jack Cade

    My cynicism is in full flood. I see this as a desperate last throw – we will be fed news, regularly, about the health of ‘Jen and the girls’ that is intended to extract as much sympathy as they can wring out of us. It had better be sound only, though. The prick’s smirk would harden the heart of Francis of Assisi…

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