Ok, I know you’re all as excited as I am… which is a trifle ambiguous but it’s probably better that way.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I called for nominations for my Rum Rebellion Award and the winner will be announced on January 26th – the anniversary of that very significant day in Australian history where someone with enough money to organise a revolt deposed Governor Bligh and sent him back to Old Blighty… “Old Blighty” is slang for the mother country for reasons I’ve never understood… but then I’ve never understood why we consider that England is the mother country unless it’s because a large number of English people have proved themselves to be real mothers when it comes to Australia…
I don’t want you to think I’m being racist here – which is what every racist says when they’re being racist – but I’m not hostile to the English. Some of my friends have been English and I love my country and the Queen of Australia was – after all – at least part English given the Royal Family’s concern with only marrying cousins from countries that don’t have so much Royal blood that they have a tendency to bleed…
I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m making fun of haemophiliacs but in the interests of fairness, you’d have to admire God’s sense of humour in creating something that Queen Victoria passed on to three of her nine children leading to their early demise…
Too soon?
Ok, I know that was a bit too close to the line and political correctness means that I shouldn’t say things that people find offensive but, even if you don’t believe in God, I have a right to admire his sense of humour even if he doesn’t exist. Particularly when you see evidence of his existence on that most holy day: Boxing Day when we’re reminded of Jesus’s sacrifice by the Hot Cross Buns appearing in stores the day after his birth.
Anyway, I thought I’d ask for you to vote for the final nominations. I thought of disqualifying some because I don’t like them but then I decided that I’d wait and rig the election just like so many people think happens when the person they voted for doesn’t win…
Who should win the Rum for the Rum Rebellion Award?
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