The Strange Cases Of Kate, Dutton And The Man On The Moon…
As I often remind everyone, the trouble with conspiracy theories is that they start from two central truths of life:
- You can’t trust people in authority.
- Always look carefully at the evidence.
- The Illuminati is controlling everything.
Now my more astute readers will have noticed that I listed three things when I said that there were two truths. I could tell you which of the two are true but I’ll leave it work it out for yourself but please, for the safety of both of us don’t write in the comments that it’s number three!
Anyway, I must confess that I wasn’t taken too much notice of all the conspiracy theories surrounding the Princess of Wales. I mean, whatever you think of the Royal Family, it is pretty far-fetched to believe that she’d turned into a zombie and was eating their brains, even if there are less and less of them appearing in public. After all, a lack of brains never stopped them in previous generations so why should they go all sensitive about that now…
Yes, it was only in the last few hours that I felt the need to put my sharp investigative skills into the strange case of Kate’s photo. I call it strange for a number of reasons that haven’t been canvassed yet:
- Media organisations decided that it was digitally altered and didn’t publish it. This is only strange because many of the same media organisations have been publishing digitally altered photos for years.
- Prince Will wasn’t in the photo which would lead one to presume that he took the photo.
- Kate admitted to digitally altering the photo… Of course, when I say that Kate has admitted to doing that I simply mean that she tweeted that she’d done it after several media outlets said that it was altered. Of course, she explained that she’s an amateur photography who takes photos of herself and her children which makes one wonder where Willie was if he wasn’t the one taking the photo… And when I say that she explained what I mean is that there was a tweet from the account of The Prince and Princess of Wales which one presumes is from her because it ended with a capital “C” because her name is Catherine and William doesn’t use the “C” word at the end of his tweets. Although when I think about it the “C” could stand for a lot of things, including “Counterfeit”, “Contrived” and … anyway, let’s move on!
Speaking of Peter Dutton, I’d have to say that his nuclear policy is one of those times when I’m totally onboard with the conspiracy concept. What’s the Coalition being doing for the past ten years? Delaying the rollout of renewables and extending the life of fossil fuels. What would introducing nuclear do? Delay the rollout renewables and extend the life of fossil fuels!
It’s not hard to put two and two together and actually get four this time. Let’s take the policy seriously for a moment and presume that it’s a damn good idea. The first thing that’s wrong with it I’ll explain with this apocryphal story.
Imagine my wife and I want to go on a holiday at the end of the year. She decides that she’d like to go to France and I say that it’s too far away and they don’t speak English. She counters with the idea that we can learn enough French to get by and use Google translate for the rest and I counter with: “What about when the Internet doesn’t work at night!” and she replies that I’m an idiot and we get nowhere. However because it would be good to go on a holiday I propose that we go on space flight instead, but instead of discussing this with her and trying to reach consensus, I announce at a dinner party in front of friends that my wife has this silly idea of going to France and that she totally rejects the idea of a space flight because she doesn’t accept that the technology is completely safe and she thinks that it would cost more than France but if you people will just vote for me, I’ll have the space flight thing all organised sometime in the next decade.
Apart from anything else, you can probably presume that our end of year holiday won’t be happening.
So, in terms of Dutton, if he were really serious about nuclear energy then surely it would be good to be working on a consensus with the government rather than; “We’ll make this an election issue because power prices are too high and nuclear will help with that sometime in the very near future because it should only take 3-5 years to build a small nuclear reactor on every corner. Look at our success with the NBN rollout where we used the existing copper wires and we can do the same with nuclear reactors by putting them on the sites of defunct coal-fired power stations.”
Naturally there are some little holes in his plan. That is, if you presume that his plan is really to build them and not to merely keep Gina happy. Let’s look at the best case scenario for nuclear:
- Dutton wins election
- Dutton announces task force to draw up plan for SMR
- Task force investigates for six months and hands report to Dutton for consideration
- Dutton holds press conference to announce his intention to draw up a plan
- Press reports on rumoured location of SMRs
- Dutton tells media that no decisions have been made
- Coalition announces that they’ve contracted out the investigation of potential sites to a company which nobody has heard of but has an office in a shack on Kangaroo Island.
- Directors of said company go overseas to research the countries with SMRs operating.
- Directors return and announce that as there were no such countries we need to develop our own.
- New contract is drawn up giving Liberal donors lots and lots of money to build SMRs just as soon as they’re viable.
- Dutton is defeated in a spill and the new PM announces that he (this is the Liberal party, after all, so no need for a he/she there) will be getting nuclear back on track.
Like I said, the trouble with conspiracy theories is that they start with something perfectly reasonable. However, as someone once observed, when you have a choice between a conspiracy and a stuff-up, pick the latter. You’ll usually be right!
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16 comments
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GL -
Astrid -
Frank -
Terence Mills -
Greg Gange -
Canguro -
Patricia -
GL -
Clakka -
GL -
leefe -
andyfiftysix -
GL -
GL -
Canguro -
GL
Return to home pageRossleigh, The Illuminati is a secret organisation that uses invisible ninjas to go into houses and buildings in the dead of night to cause light bulbs to blow thereby forcing you to buy replacement products that they manufacture and control.
GL – you forgot to mention that they also steal one sock of each of your favourite pairs of socks – never to be found again. And raise and leave up your toilet seat. I have 7 odd socks as absolute proof.
The part about your wife is quite believable,the other part is that you are still married
I see that Dutton has challenged Albanese to debate the nuclear energy issue with him at the Press Club .
What exactly does he have in mind : he only adopted a nuclear policy last week, he hasn’t yet explained the type of nuclear reactors he in planning to build, how long it will take them to be built and commissioned and what the cost will be. He says that obsolete coalfired power stations will be the preferred location for his reactors so are we to understand that as a coal power facility closes Spud will slot in an SMR or bigger the following Tuesday ?
I heard Sarah Ferguson, an eminently sensible and well informed interviewer, try to interview a crazy man on the 7.30 program on Tuesday : turns out the crazy man doing the explaining to the little lady was Ted O’Brien the Shadow Minister for Climate Change and Energy. In an example of a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate mansplaining of how we could have SMR’s off the shelf delivered by Amazon instantly if only Anthony Albanese would listen to the newly converted Liberal nuclear lobby, O’Brien made it abundantly clear that he has nothing sensible to contribute to the energy discussion.
Nice morning read, Rossleigh, but I don’t believe in fairy tales.
Just a couple of corrections. More like spelling mistakes.
“The Illuminati” is not how one describes the murdochracy, even in jest.
C is not the first letter of “Fruntbum”, which is the descriptor that usually springs to mind whenever der spud enters the frame.
As far as I am aware, auntie gina isn’t the pusher for SMR’s because she doesn’t currently own any uranium pits, but if der spud does happen to fluke a win in the next couple of elections and before someone else does an “et tu, Brutus” on his arse I’m sure she will buy him at least one in celebration.
A question for all of the experts out there in the real world. Would a SMR fit into a currently disused “Masters” hardware store. There are a couple of them sitting around varios suburbs in Aus doing sfa, and as they are obviously quite unsuitable for altering slightly and being turned into secure housing for the homeless, I thought they might be able to be repurposed in another direction.”Westinghouse” are proposing something similar, so SMR’s-R-US might not be so hard afterall. One right next to almost every bunnings, so when the damn things stop, spring a leak, develop a speed-wobble, or just plain underperform there is a place over the fence to get some cheap chinesium bitsandpieces to make the requisite repairs and get our electricity back to square. And they are open ’til 7.00pm, with sausages at the weekend too.
https://www.nucnet.org/news/westinghouse-signs-agreement-to-deploy-first-private-ap300-smr-fleet-2-5-2024
@ Astrid. That is not The Illuminati, that is the Sock-Goblin. He creeps around at night re-distributing single socks from unsuspecting sleepers, even when we are wearing them. The little bastard visits me quite frequently.
Terence, Ted O’Brien is a rolled-gold idiot with a track record of saying stupid & ignorant things. A human-induced climate change denialist, thus explaining why Der Spud put him into the role that he currently occupies. Just as Sussssan Ley should go back to being a pilot, he should return to the business of baking bread.
Canguro, Would you really want to be on a flight that has Sussssssan at the pointy end of the plane with all those dials and levers?
After all the comments about the 7.30 report with whatshisname I am almost tempted to watch it, but I already know that anything that anyone from the LNP coalition says will be matched by them having no discernible facts and consist totally of LNP brain farts.
On a side note: Is it me or does Anthony Pratt look like a shaved orangutan?
https://www.smh.com.au/world/north-america/red-flags-went-up-former-mar-a-lago-worker-tells-of-pratt-s-relationship-with-trump-20240312-p5fbto.html
It’s all about spin.
Astrid:
I think you’ll find the missing socks to the pairs have morphed into wire coat-hangers under your wardrobe.
GG:
Observant. No doubt the Duttonate has been boning up on the yellow-cake recipe by putting an ear to the Westinghouse. It’s supposed to be clean and easy; just set to recycle and press go! Unless of course there’s an imbalance, whereby it will bypass rinse and get stuck in a permanent spin cycle. Turn the power off.
No need for coat-hangers as all will be hung out to dry.
Clakka,
Coat hangers are parthenogenic.
GL:
Then I wish mine would clone themselves. I’m always short and thus have to double up the clothing.
just watching Ted Obrien suffer a fools mental breakdown. Talk about dishonest and lies by omission.
8-12 years to build a plant, 90% “base load” power gone……….i mean does the fool think we are fools too?
the best experts in the world have told us…………..I mean they quote Bill Gates and then it turns out Bill said we dont need nuclear with what we got.
Nuclear power is not the most expensive when you chose to ignore the facts….laughable assertions. I think the CSIRO has a better handle on the costs than ted.
What a cluster fuck of an interview. “we are right and everyone else is wrong”…….”labor policy is….”
Good luck on this getting through and then trying to enforce it. Der Spud, Tardis skull Soossann and the main sleaze meedja will scream about democracy and civilisation being destroyed and then just find ways around it.
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/political-campaign-lies-to-be-outlawed-if-they-re-definitely-lies-20240313-p5fbzy.html
Poor ickle Dunceolini just can’t stand science and rational thought getting in the way of his fantasies. His expert, whose name is Ugg Grunt, is all he needs. Grunt was said to be the discoverer of fission when he found that continually hitting big rocks created smaller and smaller rocks.
He was quoted as saying: “Ugg nook…nooklee sin…sintis..brain hurt. Want see Ugg hit tree with head, make nuts fall down?”
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/csiro-hits-back-at-dutton-attack-on-its-nuclear-energy-reports-20240315-p5fcnf.html
The notion of the crook-chasing car-rolling shoe-stealing kid abusing failed former Queensland copper positing himself as knowing better than the elite of the Australian scientific community where PhDs and Doctorates rub shoulders and discuss the esoterica of all matters complex over their morning coffees is beyond hilarious. If he wasn’t such a useless piece of malingering & wasted organic matter I’d almost feel inclined to feel pity for the poor fool, but no… I welcome the sight of him making a complete ass of himself. Long may he bray…
Scummo the Great ain’t so great. How (gets crying onion out) sad:
https://www.smh.com.au/cbd/scott-morrison-s-farewell-shire-dinner-canned-amid-lack-of-rsvps-20240314-p5fcjn.html