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Scott Morrison makes me sick

Assume an angry mood before reading; it’ll save time.

I’m sick of his spin. I’m sick of his lies. I’m sick of his dissembling and I’m sick of his dumb arrogance and his ever-present, self-satisfied smirk. I’m sick of his partisan politicking on every single issue. I’m sick of his inane slogans and his flatulent blatherings, as if he’s retrieved Scrabble tiles from a blender to form random words.

I’m sick of the relentless photo ops. I’m sick of the contrived personas – Spakfilla for a lack of personality cult. I’m sick of Daggy Dad and Scotty Takes Charge and Brave Sir Scotty and Sporty Scotty and Curry Cook Scotty and I’m sick of every hi-vizzed, hard-hatted mounting of machinery and his performative helping hand at flood clean ups and charity kitchens that stops the moment the cameras are packed away. My gag reflex is triggered whenever this vacuous poseur exploits front line workers, volunteers and grannies getting vaxxed as props for his media machine and who are then wiped from his mind the moment their immediate Instagram value has passed.

I felt a bit of sick in the back of my throat when he confessed to furtive, non-consensual feel-ups of disaster victims as some sort of subliminal Pentecostal conversion therapy – behaviour that should see him arrested and charged along with the coagulation of staff fondlers and upskirters and drink spikers who infest the government benches.

I’m tired of his disposable principles and transactional loyalties and least effort compliance with the proprieties of ethical governance. I’m angered by the vapidity of this piffler of modest abilities and questionable achievements, his general uselessness, his drain on our collective wellbeing. He’s a sinkhole for our national aspirations. I’m horrified that his only talent is to finagle avoidance of accountability and duck repercussions from his idiocies and neglect but then flagrantly claim credit for any incidental success.

I’m tired of his cowardice and his intimidation of the powerless. Impervious to self-reflection, comfortable in the belief he is the chosen one he’s a creepy, nasty and spiteful bully who will lash out and background against anyone challenging his authority or questioning his artfully crafted ‘authenticity’.

I’m bemused by his casual sexism – the confusion on his face at the notion that women are his equals and I’m aghast at the calculated misogyny of his suggesting he’s due some gratitude for the uppity ones not being shot.

I’m appalled at his facilitation of corruption, his suffocating incompetence, his abrogation of any responsibility (that’s not my job™) and his laughable claims to leadership when he flees the country or disappears behind the curtains when confronted with real-world challenges.


Cartoon and verse courtesy of Mark David


Truth is an entirely dispensable frippery whenever it doesn’t serve his purposes, which is often. Announcements and promises delivered with gish-galloped smugness in a condescending tone and without a thought as to implementation will be contradicted or denied in short order. All evidence that the shite is coming out his ears right there in front of everybody is disdainfully dismissed as if he travels between dimensions where reality is subjective and he gets to choose the version that applies to the moment.

I snort derisively that this Nigel No Friends had to invent his own tragic nickname. ‘ScoMo’ – the $50 note he’s pinned to the lapel of his unpleasant presence; a spiv raffling past-expiry-date rissoles at the local boozer, backslapping the punters and pretending he gives a fuck. I’m embarrassed that someone occupying the highest office in the land appends such an asinine moniker to official communications.

I hate that no freak fringe is off-limits for grooming as he chases the preference votes of the clunge farm escapees. He nods and winks to the arse-wash of sovereign citizens, freedumbing anti-maskers, red-pilled conspiracy wingnuts, horse-punchers, the self-righteous ACL homophobes who are obsessed with what the gays do with their pink bits and the UAP and One Notion over-spill that have me reaching for a puke bag.

I’m sick of his pandering to the wealth interests of an avaricious cohort of cardboard box billionaires, fridge magnates and private-schooled sybarites for whom too much is never enough. I’m disgusted at his punching down and victimisation of those least able to fight back and his denigration of those who show that they might.

I don’t like his stooges, I abhor his cronies, I detest his enablers and I’m dispirited by the appeal of his facile schtick – the pre-fab chook pen and cubby house, the bloke-next-door affectations of a transactional, calculating spruiker of the virtues of apathy and unquestioning acceptance of this superficial drivel.

I’m appalled at his Jesus-with-an-ABN sect that celebrates self-interest and licences disdain for the disadvantaged. It makes me nauseous that he is OK with the destruction of the environment as his expected end times make our liveable planet an expendable, temporary stop-over on his way to his imaginary celestial forever-holiday resort, sharing beers and jokes about the povvos with his good mate Jebus down by the VIP pool.

His smarm makes me cringe, his voice makes me gag, his presence on the telly makes me feel defiled. His bloviating hypocrisy bubbles away in my colon like a bad oyster awaiting a projectile vomit of bile and loathing into the smug bastard’s face.

I’m ashamed that this grinning, vacuous opportunist connived and lied and inveigled his way into our country’s top job. Watching Morrison’s rise was like watching a fish climb a ladder – such things are difficult to comprehend. The way he gained office defines his character, or more accurately, his lack thereof. His behaviour during the fires disaster revealed his true useless, craven self. Given his surrender in adversity and his admissions of impotence in the face of real world challenges his delusional self-belief is staggering. A serial failure but for the intervention of grim happenstance this low-flying dullard reminds me that somewhere there’s a flushing toilet missing his head. He’s a void, a vacuum sucking the hopes and aspirations from all but the gullible, the toadies, grifters and subscribers to his disturbing talking-in-tongues prosperity cult.

He claims the imprimatur of his deity yet nonetheless fears all scrutiny, defaults to habitual lies and deception and depends upon his cabal of bag carriers and crime scene cleansers and the complicit Murdochrities and media specials to cultivate a dumbed-down audience for whom the news is only entertainment and entertainment is the only news.

He’s a squatter who fills in the time between elections by electioneering and buck passing. There is no nuance, no subtlety, no 3D chess in his behaviour – no intellect at all, no vision, no insight, nothing beyond the full-time sales pitch of a tent revivalist. He’s a charlatan and a grifter to whom ethics is an English county and whose god-ordained tasks remain a mystery after 3 long, depressing years of this fuckwit cosplaying at PM.

Always late to the party he awaits poll results to form his opinions, scapegoating his cockups and disappearing until his minions can spin a means to lay claim to any upside or, failing that, to dig up another dead cat. For Scooter Morrison it’s the triumph of cheap politics over the national interest every time. Under this imbecilic galoot we are experiencing the erosion of our values and the sacrifice of our national integrity. Our transformation from a progressive, liberal democracy to Ayn Rand World in Pentecostal Disneyland is well under way.

I am gobsmacked that after Howard and Abbott the Libs somehow found someone who’s worse.

This bloviating pecksniff was scraped from the filter after an incontinents’ pool party. Our country will be vastly improved from the very moment this fatuous twat and his smirk are thrown out onto the street.


Image from Twitter



“The plot is that once you make government a pay-for-play operation, you forget how to govern when there’s no one paying. Required to act in the public interest rather than deliver what his donors want, Scott Morrison and his government are all at sea.” Crikey

I’ve been in evacuation centres where people thought I was just giving someone a hug and I was praying, and putting my hands on people … laying hands on them and praying in various situations,” Scooter Morrison, April 2021

“Joel, I really feel like this is what the Lord wants … He wants me to become prime minister.” Scooter to his chum Joel A’Bell

Scott Morrison and the women’s movement. The Saturday Paper


This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. GL

    I somehow get the feeling that you don’t like Saint Scotty the Masterful Marketer of Marketing Scotty.

  2. Jack Cade

    Superb summary of the character of a man who cheated his way into parliament.

  3. Don

    Word perfect. Well said.

  4. Max Gross

    Nothing to add. Grumpy has said it all for me.

  5. Stephengb

    Yet there were at least 51% of people who must have voted to have this waste of oxygen elected.

    And judging by the comments on Facebook he is still supported by a significant number of those voters.

    Beware of the so called independents who are just disafected LNP wannabes- they will still enable the LNP to claim governance.

  6. ajogrady

    Once you strip away the blatant ingrained insidious and treasonous corruption, the obvious and absolutely consistent poor judgement, the culpable and dangerous incompetence, the continual deception and the constant distortion, the endless creations of laws and opportunities to suppress and stifle contrary debate, the flagrant sneaky and self serving promotion of religious faith at the expense of political integrity, the erroneous attempts to hamper voting, the anger and disgust generated by cutting and running leaving our Afghani comrades in arms to their fate, the crippling of living standards, the devious and unfettered betrayal of Australias sovereignty, the culpable treachery in the ruination of good international trade and international relations, the trashing of Australias good international reputation, the shambolic and totally inept governance standards, the deceitful marketing spin and hypocritical sloganeering plus being a constant and continuous impediment to Australia and Australians reaching their true potential what does the L/NP actually stand for? What is left? What is left is a snide, sneering, sniping, selfish, smug and contemptuous ideology that nurtures, coddles and promotes corrupt to the core thugs, swindlers, chiselers, fraudsters, shysters, cheats and con artists, solicitors of anonymous brown paper bag donations, pathetic debauched degenerates and perverted misogynistic misfits, pseudo Christian cult wack jobs, fanatical religious lunatics, QAnon advocates, cowardly saber rattling war mongering hawks, sadistic and selfish economic vandals, problamatic climate skeptic fundamentalists, environmental saboteurs and desecrators, first nations people apathetic Judases, handicappers to the handicapped, oppressors of the needy and the disadvantaged, enablers of the obscenely wealthy parasitic profiteers, drunken lecherous fornicators and provocateurs plus egotistical born to rule privilaged sociopaths and psychopaths that are devoid of standards, principles, values, morals, ethics, honesty, and basic empathy always rorting, stealing, fiddling, fudging, obfuscating and basically out and out blatant lying while being protected by a maliciously biased, pathetic sycophantic and delusional media.
    Influenced by professional predatory lobbyists whores and directed by crooked callous conservative think tanks whose shadowy underbelly of criminality makes Ned Kelly look like a gentleman. The L/NP not only do not represent most Australians but do not respect them.
    The L/NP have managed to create a massive trust deficit not only domestically but internationally that has left Australias once good reputation in tatters and Australia is now bordering on pariah state status. “Private and confidential” is a misnomer to the L/NP. Diplomacy, critical thinking and cause and effect are foreign concepts to the L/NP. These failings will have or result in dire consequences and outcomes for Australia and Australians. In particular the L/NP believe that success is the ability to go from one total failure to another total failure with no loss of enthusiasm or any sign of a guilty conscience or any shame.The L/NP not only rewards lethargic sneaks, cheats and sly back stabbers but consider mediocrity as their gold standard.
    The L/NP are an insult to equitable governance standards and egalitarian rule. The L/NP are not fit to hold any form of public office in a functioning, vibrant nation that is a cohesive humane society. Australia was built on the egalitarian theme of “a fair go” for all where “the greater good” is paramount to its fundamental beliefs. These values created strong and proud foundations that builds better futures for the many not just the few. These strong ethical values are an anomaly and an aberration to the L/NP. Somebody once said that Fascism comes wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
    Enough is enough.
    Australians dont need “can do” capitalism they need a “can do” government.
    Another 3 years of the insanity, turmoil and malfeasance that masquerades as governance by the L/NP will see Australia become barely recognisable as the once great egalitarian nation it once was.
    Australians have got to stop voting against there own best interests or they will forever be remembered as the people from the land of boiling frogs.
    Lest we forget.

  7. Melissa Baker

    Jolly well said Grumpy!! Exactly how I feel!

  8. Stephen Coyne

    Apart from the opportunity the zombies would seize to create even more chaos, I wouldn’t blink if his head was on a pike.
    I’d probably smirk, though.

  9. Kyle Brunning

    I was hoping for a new year full of…hope. But with this awfull man trying to spin his way into another 3 years and into the foreseable future,
    Grumpy’s puking theme is really resonating with me. To think we will have to endure months more of his pathetic pleading to be given
    another term is enough to make we want to emmigrate. And horror of horrors, if he does make it, we can look forward to-
    no action on global climate warming
    no “real” fed anti-corruption commission
    no action on arresting the policy disaster that is the housing market, or industry policy, or the death of the great barrier reef or the thousands of
    other things that have been left to wither, to fade and to drop off the face of the Earth in the name of more “can do capitalism”, stripping the wealth of this country and shipping it offshore, all the while paying sweet FA tax, the same recipe that has stuffed us in every aspect to this point.

    I can’t even watch the ABC anymore, they may as well call it ScoMoVision the way he is gratuitously in every effing frame on the news.

    So get ready for another term of the most abysmal leader yet to have floated to the top of the LNP cesspool. The fix is already in.
    Albo hasn’t got it, and isn’t stepping aside.
    The Titanic Dinosaur will rally the nutters and hand the preferences to the LNP.
    A scare campaign or two relentlessly pushed by newscorpse will herd the swingers into the right voting camp like plump lambs to the slaughter.

    The whole Schmurko show could go on indefinitely because our system is corrupt and broken and the average voter wouldn’t have a clue. All you have to do is manipulate perceptions and you are in. Handily, the whole system is rigged to facilitate this.

  10. Kathryn

    Well done, Grumpy! You have managed to unmask the phoniest marketeer south of the North Pole!

  11. Presser#1

    Yes! Every word excellent. Beyond arrogant tomfoolery and unselfconscious stupidity. What does that make the easily fooled hicks who voted for him AND WILL DO SO AGAIN?

  12. Brozza

    It would be even more hilarious if it wasn’t all true.
    You’ve nailed it GG

  13. Josephus

    It is nonsense to say that independent candidates are lnp. No evidence at all, any more than there is for scomos lie that these same are closet laborites! Rather, some are conservative, others not, but all support climate action, icac now, gender equality, justice for refugees, protection for whistleblowers and other widely shared social and ethical values neglected by the government.

  14. Phil Pryor

    A lying, lazy, loose, limp, logorrhoeaic lump of loucheness, this P M is a hateful bedpan of beastly negativity. So, I second, even third all said here. How can such appalling entrenched wrongness get in and up in politics, except as the donor’s dummy with a manipulating finger up its fundament?

  15. Phil Pryor

    Before editing and reflecting, an intemperate comment of mine went, and good for that, for offence is easily given and I would have altered it.. Many of us are getting chronically angry at poor, lazy, inadequate, partial, deficient, conservative political efforts, with extreme inbuilt superstitious idiocy thrown in. I support all the comments here and our community of potential care for Australia’s future possibilities…So apologies are given if offence is taken.., it was hastily thought as a joking jolt.

  16. Ken

    Grumpy’s done it again. When I thought he couldn’t get any better he has !

  17. David B

    Geez, Grumpy, I suspect from your comments that you’re nearly as angry as I am about this prick and his dodgy chums. And nice codas from ajogrady and Kyle.

  18. Kaye Lee

    Yup GG.

    It was cathartic reading your article. Thank you.

    (double thumbs up from the drivers seat of my mazda 3)

  19. Kerri

    Well said GG. I seriously find it hard to listen to him. Without consciously thinking about it I often find myself turning off the appliance or leaving the room because there is a shelf somewhere that really needs wiping. I actually prefer to listen to my dentist whether or not he is drilling. I have a very intelligent friend who is of Jewish faith. He often says “why assume god is a forgiving generous god?” “What if god is a vengeful or spiteful god?” A good thought for all those believers. For every “miracle” someone is suffereing.
    Myself I will believe in god when he creates a rock he cannot lift. The smarmy excuse for a PM is like stepping on a dog turd. You are stuck with it and it is very difficult to remove without upsetting your balance. 🤢🤢

  20. GL

    Scummo: The stench laden skid mark on the underpants of Australia that nothing can remove.

  21. New England Cocky

    @GG: Yep!! You nailed it all again, the consequences of our self-inflicted electoral wound. There is only one solution, at every election:

    and there may just be a chance that we can save Australian democracy from rampant American entities.

  22. Bert

    “Our country will be vastly improved from the very moment this fatuous twat and his smirk are thrown out onto the street”

    It’ll be a whole lot better when the c*** is thrown in gaol.

    I have never ever felt the hatred for any man or woman I feel for that dog shit stained pile of vomit.

    I’m waiting for the day someone gets close enough to thump him so hard that shit eating smirk ends up around the arse side of his head.

  23. Michael Taylor

    Grumpy, outstanding.

    After dropping the heavy metal ladder onto the car I was in need of a laugh. I’d read your article again when I get a quote from the panel beaters. ☹️

    Don’t ask.

  24. Henry Rodrigues

    The best and most frighteningly accurate description of a nasty dangerous poseur. Grumpy you’ve outdone yourself.

    Scummo would never recover his smirking composure if he could be forced to read this. Well done Grumpy.

  25. Carina McNaughton

    Yes I did save time. I was and am already angry. So angry at the pustules Pm and his cronies. May 2022 see the end of all of them. Grumpy you said it all for me. It’s well beyond his expiration date.

  26. Vivienne Jean Mendham


  27. Fred

    Grumpy – bullseye. Of course the context is that he represents the pinnacle of the Libs, having been elected over Duddon and Bishop, so if he is the best they have got, gawd only knows what depths the govt would descend to if he was replaced. Can it get any worse?

  28. Terence Mills

    It has become evident in recent months that the Liberal Party have done a deal with Newscorp as the coverage of Morrison has been very positive, approving his every utterance and those of Frydenberg, at a time when these guys have been floundering.

    This is all the more apparent in the Murdoch tabloids and the unquestioning endorsements and cheer leading in the Australian and, of course, the word has gone out that ministerial interviews should almost exclusively be done by SKY where difficult questions will never be asked.

    This to be expected you may say, nothing unusual about Murdoch’s right wing agenda.

    But what is the payoff for Murdoch to be so uncritical of a floundering coalition of fools ?

    Well, there has never been a time when our public broadcaster has been under so much scrutiny and constant attack from the Right and I think you will find that the deal is that the ABC, and to a lesser extent SBS, will be starved of funding by a returned Morrison government to the point where Newscorp and Sky assume what they see as their rightful position, dominating our print, television and online media.

    Lachlan, like his father and his grandfather hate public broadcasting with a vengeance – it takes money out of their pockets – and this could be their opportunity, with a weak and compliant government, to finally handicap and hobble the ABC with further funding cuts and erosion of their independence.

  29. Keyston Slater

    This coming election will prove how low the average Australian voters moral values have sunk and how daft our nation has become. Or, it will be a revelation that we have finally awakened from the head in assery that afflicted many last election.

  30. Kaye Lee

    Dominic Perrottet (aka DoPe) is doing his best to make us ALL sick.

    ” Plans for a week-long party on the Cahill Expressway until January 6 are also set to continue, with the stretch of road to be closed to traffic and flooded with revellers to bring in the New Year as part of a state government plan to recharge the events sector and boost tourism to the state.”

  31. Jaq

    So agree with you!!!!!! I honestly think cognitive dissonance should be registered as a mental illness!

  32. wam

    Beauty grumpy, Your words sent all my 4 sphincters twitching with a dash of retroperistalsis thrown in and I love the triplet of colon, bad oyster and Scummo. ps Cuckoo, the Murdoch media have been so sickening in their support that a ‘Christine’ bribe could apply’? When the boys of the LNP can accept the right to contact bosses to have critics sacked, they are bringing witnesses J and K treatment into our life sphere? pps Michael Good luck in your law course, hope you are not disciplined for your criticising of politicians nor charged with inciting with intent to harm scummo?
    Kaye dim dom has adequately filled glad’s shoes and kept the NSW gold standard from ruby through delta to exceed her with his efforts for omicron.

  33. Jon Chesterson

    The best of Grumpy Geezer but being this sick every day is not good for your health. I vomit at the mere mention of his name, the sound of his voice, the sight of his bloated face and the threat of his twisted gut infested soul. So yes I too feel sick every day of the year he appears like an apparition, a nightmare, a gargoyle dangling his malice and chalice from the crumbling masonry of our corrupt and bastardised, misogynised, weaponised shark infested Pentecostal Liberal ministry – For this is not government, it is the wholesale crucifixion of democracy and our way of life, it is the malicious killing and murder of a nation, a national death sentence, the deliberate scuttling of Australia that neither Britain nor the US were capable of doing in all their days of arrogance and swashbuckling empire.

    This article reads like a poem, truth far sharper than satire and so I’ll end this sickness with one of mine published earlier in the year: The Governor – snip from verse 4

    He is a Liberal, the member for Cook,
    they gave to us a shadow of the past
    and he who stares at us from the dead
    he places on the hill.
    Misogyny and crocodile tears,
    bullets, slogans, sermons, smears.
    No cross, stars or serpent sky
    will light the path and touch him still;
    after the party,
    long live the party dead.

    Let all who sail under his flag burn beneath the Southern Cross, for we shall never be one till this jerk and his crew are gone for good.

  34. Michael Taylor

    It’s going to be a case of DoPe makes me sick. Literally.

  35. Michael Taylor

    Does anyone know where Scott Morrison is?

  36. GL


    Ask the magic bearded sky fairy because it’s always in contact with it’s favouritist follower. Other than that who really gives a damn. It’s pleasant while it lasts, no smirking fat faced patronising dirtbag getting his punchable balding(thank you Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson for the next bit, slightly paraphrased) amoeba brain byproduct of animal buggery mug splashed all over the place

  37. Anne Byam

    Have read many summaries and summations in my time Grumpy, but this writing of yours takes the absolute cake … to depict a creature so accurately takes a heap of gumption and insight, not to mention your very excellent style of writing, which no matter what the subject, and whether it is serious or a bit of fun, is always totally enjoyable.

    Well done, you. …. and thank you,

  38. Michael Taylor

    Trust Grumpy Geezer to stuff things up. 😁

    After I’d published our Top 5 posts Grumpy comes in with this one and it has overtaken the previous post that finished Number 5 for the year.

    Poor Grumpy misses out on the recognition. ☹️

  39. leefe


    “Yet there were at least 51% of people who must have voted to have this waste of oxygen elected.”

    You don’t understand the first thing about Australia’s electoral system, do you?


    Thank you for this masterpiece. I still feel sick, but at least I can chuckle to myself while retching.

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