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R.I.P. Daggy Dad: The re-branding of ScoMo

By Grumpy Geezer  

The asinine ScoMo brand, daggy dad from next door, is no longer fit for purpose.

In the absence of any insight, imagination, empathy or ethics it was always going to happen; the real Scott Morrison has been fully exposed. His tissue thin credibility has fallen away to reveal the dodgy product beneath – a gutless grub, a deceitful charlatan, a sideshow spruiker and conman.`

Scott Morrison’s risible self-marketing as ScoMo the daggy dad from next door is about to be abandoned. Crises are a true test of character and our sausage-sangered, beer kneckin’ football groupie has been found wanting. When your house has burned down or your struggling sports club’s bid for some much needed funding is guzumped by some silvertail’s desire for a tax-payer funded cigar lounge for his badminton courts then the last thing you want is a smarmy, smirking, piss-stained twat in a cap invading your personal space for a photo-op.

There are now many places in Australia where “ScoMo” would be ridden out of town on a rail so it’s time for another re-branding.

What will the lickspittles, myrmidons, grooms of the stool, empathy consultants and PR spivs come up with now? What is to be the next personality to be adopted by the shape-shifting FauxMo? How will they package a coward who abandons the country to the fires and blames his own kids, a porch climber who burgles $100,000,000 of our money to underwrite his election campaign?

With whatever credibility he ever had now in tatters the grinning galoot cannot be seen near a sporting field without inviting derision, nor can he again flee his responsibilities in a crisis. The rorting of public money to benefit himself and his cronies will continue of course, as will the destruction of the environment – it’s in the Tory DNA; they see elected office as a treasure hunt. So new disguises will be sought for the L/NP’s behaviours. Disaster capitalism will be branded as disaster mitigation, scapegoats will be fingered, whistle-blowers will be pursued with renewed vigour, and the spiders web of conflicted interests will be hidden behind spurious confidentiality clauses and labyrinthine corporate structures.

Rehearsed gravitas in the form of a stern-faced, take charge kinda guy pointing at maps; the authoritative figure at the head of the table surrounded by sycophants; feigned empathy dressed in chinos accessorised from R.M.Williams for the “staring thoughtfully into the distance with farmer” photo-ops; a practised choke in the voice and a work-shopped wiping away of a pretend tear – this is the fakery we will be confronted with as FauxMo tries to re craft his “personal brand” and rescue his true, facile self from further scrutiny.

There’ll be no more cringe-worthy eulogising of cricketers as our true national heroes, the baseball caps will be mothballed, beer will be guzzled away from the cameras, the happy will be clapped behind closed doors. Despite these efforts the real Morrison will continue to bob to the surface. His punchable smirk will only ever be a glib, self-satisfied phrase away, his indignation at being queried and his barely concealed patronising contempt at being challenged will resurface – it’s who he is and he won’t be able to hide it.

This Artful Dodger has as much substance as a snowman in a hot tub, and is so bereft of imagination he couldn’t carry a stick through an open door. He leads an effluvium of Stasi, water thieves, tree poisoners, suplhorous wazzocks, dupes, loons, dangleberries, owner-operators, gowks, touts, sluggards and grifters – the type of people who have kids as potential organ donors for their old age and many of whom anticipate a lucrative, post-politics career plucking Gina Reinhart’s chin hairs.

No amount of re-imaging, spin, deflection, dissembling, humbug and lying can cover up for this nightsoilsman and his noisome product. The lights have come on for all but the toadies, the feckless dullards, the stupid and the deplorable. And all it took was the country in flames and the brazen, unapologetic theft of $100M.

ScoMo as a product has been recalled. Now we await the same fate for Scotty From Marketing (i) who invented him.

* * * * *

Trivia: Liar From The Shire is an anagram of Holier Shit Farmer.

(i) “Scotty From Marketing” is a clever neologism from the Betoota Advocate.

This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer.

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22 comments

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  1. New England Cocky

    Well said GG. Are you now pursuing Phil Pryor for the title of “Best Get it Off Your Chest” article of the week?

  2. Grumpy Geezer

    I’m a week behind, Cocky.

  3. Jennifer Demas

    The talkative Morrison is today what he was yesterday and will be tomorrow, “You can out distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you” (Rwandan Proverb) and his got the media fraternity pegged like Cod in a smoke house, he knows it, as he blows smoke at them, a.k.a the loquacious Turnbull just without the finesse.

    Finally, the only bastion against abject poverty, unraveling of the social fabric, rich richer, poor poorer and ever widening economic inequality is organised labour and social media, and not not not media tsars and moneyed up corporations not then and not now. As for the media fraternity, always was, will be at behest of the invisible empires trickle down economics and democracy, no ifs or buts, IF Stone, “The difference between burlesque and news paper is that the formed never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure” we and informed democracy gamed, played and so very had, informed democracy superseded by trickle down democracy and so very synonymous with trickle down economics.

  4. Kathryn

    Once again, Grumpy Geezer, you are SPOT-ON in your vivid, insightful description of the bible-thumping, sanctimonious hypocrite, MorriScum! As you say, “FauxMo” is a committed Shape Shifter but his phoney pretentiousness in “manufacturing” more fake personas than Frank Abagnale, has now become mind-numbingly tiresome, excruciatingly irritating and exceedingly boring! Doesn’t matter WHAT persona this fool comes up with, there will ALWAYS be the thumbs-up, sneering, beer-swilling misogynistic BOGAN right underneath!

    MorriScum has such a staggering contempt for the intelligence of Australians, he REALLY believes that the majority of us do not have the intellect or ability to see through his very thin veneer as the worst, most breathtaking serial liar and criminally corrupt Crime Minister on record! The fact of the matter is that Sloth MorriScum is an insignificant, mediocre, non-achieving hypocrite; a pathological liar who’s EPIC FAILURE out in the REAL WORLD of hard knocks and hard work was such a monumental disappointment, he leapt onto the bleeding wound of the taxpayer purse and lied, backstabbed and deceived his way into politics to ensure his future as one of the worst, most voracious career political parasites in living memory.

  5. Geoff Andrews

    Having been warned to lookout for this imminent make over (comb over?), we will watch for signs of Slomo pupating – what do you reckon: just in time for 2022 election? He IS a big grub.
    I have a relo who’s a RWNJ. She really objects to “Scotty from marketing” – thinks it’s disrespectful to someone who has won the trust of the Australian voters. Apparently “Juliar” and “Ditch the Witch” was just a bit of fun.

    Note to AIMN admin: even though I tick the ” Notify me of follow-up comments by email” box, it never happens. Is it my computer or yours?

  6. Michael Taylor

    Neither, Geoff. WordPress runs that feature and it’s been known to play up.

  7. Michael Taylor

    Geoff, I used to pull my hair out over such problems, but now I just wait for WordPress to fix them.

    Slack, aren’t I? 😜

  8. Josephus

    Brilliant neologisms almost Rabelaisian. Those people so gross, so blubbery. The beetroot so repulsive his mum must have seen a gargoyle…

  9. Paul Davis

    Thank you Grumpy, needed cheering up. And thank you also to commenters Jennifer and Kathryn whose wordsmithery and eruditeness (sic) is most refreshing. I think mr Pryor is currently consulting Webster for some as yet unutilised nouns and adjectives relative to Tory shitfuckery. His output across several platforms is prodigious.

  10. Ill fares the land

    Sadly, Morrison, as reprehensible and shallow as he is, is someone and something that has been in the making for a while now. We once expected out politicians to bring ideas to the table and to debate those ideas with their opponents. Generally, conservative and liberal ideas were drawn out of different ideological bases. Over the last 40 years or so, some really key things have happened.

    Societies have become less collective and we are driven far more by what is good for us as individuals. This has made us selfish and greedy and susceptible to the guiles of marketeers, liars, spivs and autocrats who seek power only for their own benefit and who rely on ridding themselves of critics and dissenters in whatever ways are tolerable.

    That really opened the door for the Morrisons (Trump and Johnson are other examples) whose raison d’etre is the marketing slogan and selling because we now reject big ideas – often because we might lose stuff we think we are entitled to. That means politicians of both sides offer little, or, in the case of Scotty from Marketing, nothing, so they have to try and make something out of very little to convince us they are doing something (we’re getting on with the job” is the classic – if they were really doing that, we would surely know). There is nothing beyond trying to sell a product. He tried to sell his phony empathy to bushfire victims and was spurned. So like a teenager, he came up with a petulant party advertisement to try and sell us his product – him. That didn’t work, so to show how skilled he is, he went away and came out at the Press Club …. and it was the same hollow “him”. That tells me Scotty from Marketing has plumbed the depths of his limited ability pool and found nothing. In time he might reinvent himself, but it will still be a facade. But then, his original facade was stunningly successful – 50% of voters were fooled.

    But one key point is that people like Morrison are gaining power around the world and that surely points to “us” as the problem. We are not interested in ideas, policies, facts and debate. We insead only care about our fact-free opinions that we will defend aggressively, even when challenged with facts. Fires made worse by climate change? No way – way too many will insist that the fires were all lit by arsonists and caused by the Greens stopping hazard reduction, despite that experts have stated both of those propositions are utterly untrue – and our elected morons are standing up in the Parliament and spouting that drivel. Perhaps the only surprise with a Morrison is that we waited until 2019 to elect one. I am also fearful that in 2022 we will decide that a steady-as-she-goes hollow man is better than the alternative. I fear that we, collectively, are that stupid.

  11. Barry Thompson.

    Excellent comment ILL fares the land.

  12. New England Cocky

    As my caterer said, “A pile of bull manure is still a pile of bull manure even after you place a sprig of parsley on the top”.

  13. Frank Smith

    Excellent article GG – thank you. Also thank you Ill Fares for your very well reasoned analysis. Regrettably very very few voters get to hear such cogent arguments thanks to the spin and bullshit of the Murdoch Press, Channel Nine and the shockjocks.

  14. Diane Larsen

    Great piece of work GG and well targeted comments from several people as stated so many who need to read these messages will never see them and are probably so immersed in their own little spheres that the message wouldn’t penetrate anyway☹️

  15. blair

    well, there’s another r$150Million unaccounted rorts funding revealed
    ……and counting

  16. blair

    well, there’s another $150Million unaccounted rorts funding revealed
    ……and counting

  17. silkworm

    What he did at Engadine Maccas he has done to the whole of Australia.

  18. Anne B

    Agree totally with you Grumpy – all that you have raised in that great article – spot on.

    I have noticed ( and there’s one or two in your article ) … that many writers refer to the ‘smirk’ .. with many different references to it, and the insult it shows to so many people by ‘scotty from marketing’.

    I raise this because some years ago I had a friend who’s smirk was so pronounced – all the time – that it appeared that she had a permanent pong under her nose. Even when enjoying herself, laughing – the smirk lifted to become even more of a smirk then. Having remembered this, I have watched many videos, photos etc. of morri-scum and have to say I think he was born with or developed that downturned mouth – so that no matter what / how he photographs, the ‘smirk’ will always be there.

    Having said that – it is not his fault being born that way or having developed it in adulthood, however just about everything else wrong in country today IS his fault – as he is a toady rotten leader of a bunch of thugs. So – I do NOT like the bloke whatsoever, however, I try to live and think ‘fair’ and thought it only fair to bring this to others consideration. Even in the broadest of smiling, the left side of his mouth turns down – slightly, and when he is addressing a crowd ( wherever ) and smiles – it turns into a smirk. When displeased the smirk increases to a ‘pong under the nose’ look – rather like that of the current u.s. dumpf president. ( I refuse to use capitals for that insane / peurile creature ).

    Just a thought – but please remember I cannot abide the current Prim Monster of our country. He is permanent trouble with a capital T.

    p.s. – some previous great comments here too – particular applause to ill FTL.

  19. Patagonian

    It’s WAY more than $100 million – check out the $150 million spent on female facilities and water safety stream program. This has been quietly percolating away in the background but the Guardian is on to it now.

    There were no grant appications called, and as with the controversial community sport infrastructure program, projects funded through the scheme were predominantly in Coalition-held seats or those that it was targeting in the election, including the key seats of Braddon in Tasmania, Boothby in South Australia, Gilmore in NSW, Brisbane in Queensland, Corangamite in Victoria, and Pearce and Swan in WA.

    Steve Irons, who is a close ally of the prime minister, Scott Morrison, and was battling to keep his WA seat of Swan in Coalition hands, used the fund to promise $20m to build a new South Perth aquatic centre.

    The largest single grant was $25m for the new Ellenbrook pool in the attorney general Christian Porter’s marginal seat of Pearce, which was announced three weeks before the election.

    And then there are all the other grant pools which have been dished out by these grubs without any applications being required.

    It tells you that they were indeed frightened that Shorten would win the election.

    Our money, my money being used to re-elect this bunch of c**ts makes me want to vomit.

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/feb/07/coalition-quietly-spent-another-150m-sports-grant-fund-during-election-campaign

  20. Matters Not

    Settle down folks. We have a system that allows this to happen. No, actually we have institutional arrangements that encourages and rewards this behaviour. You know, elected members fighting for their constituents as was illustrated on tonight’s The Drum.

    So there will be another opportunity in three years (or thereabouts) to elect a new set of dictators. Until then, go back to sleep because that’s the way our system (of representative democracy) actually works. And all people want to do is fiddle at the edges while barking at the moon in the interim.

  21. Grumpy Geezer

    Anne B, I had wondered whether the smirk was a physical thing (i hesitate to use the term deformity) given its constant presence. But, when i go through footage and images it appears mostly in context of some self-satisfied, smug statement of his or his chums. Whatever it may be it is still a sign of an arrogant know-it-all and i intend to keep bagging the bastard about it. You’re a nicer person than me.
    regards
    Grumpy.

  22. Arnd

    “The asinine ScoMo brand … ”

    I object on behalf of long-suffering asses everywhere, and especially in memoriam of Benjamin, the donkey from Animal Farm, whose grasp of dialectic Aufhebung is unsurpassed: “God has given me a tail to keep the flies away … – but I rather have no tail. And no flies!

    Other than that: spoken from my heart!

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