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Morrison Clarifies Dress Code: Thongs Out, But Flip-flops Fine!

Just when we all thought that Donald Trump was the answer to the question: How stupid can a politician be?, up steps Australian’s contender in Scott Morrison!

Old ScoMo has been around for years, but like that relative you only see at Christmas, you’ve just considered him irrelevant and rather boring. However, now that he’s popping up every day and you’re forced to listen to him, you have the same reaction as when you see an unattended toddler near the road: Shouldn’t someone be minding him? 

A few times this week, I’ve started to write about the latest offering only to be interrupted by a news story, a tweet or a text asking if Morrison really just said what he said.

Last week, he was the Prime Minister for Standards and he was going to insist on a dress code for the citizenship ceremony. I did start to write a piece where we had night club bouncers at the door to the ceremony forcing people to line up, telling them that couldn’t come in with shoes like that and letting through donors to the Liberal Party as though they were friends of the owner. I stopped. It was a bit too close to reality and I was worried the bits that weren’t might give them ideas.

Yesterday, however, Scottie seemed to be implying that the dress code was more a suggestion and that there were no plans afoot to actually ban thongs. (Pun intended, sorry!)

Of course,  we haven’t been given any idea about the percentage of people that are turning up inappropriately dressed? Is it fifty percent? Ten percent? Two percent? Nobody at all? We don’t know, because like so many of Morrison’s announcements, he was responding to something that wasn’t really a problem while ignoring all the things that are.

Now, I guess you’ve caught with the fact that we’ll be spending $12 million on events to celebrate the 250th anniversay of James Cook’s landing in Australia. Part of the money will be spent on allowing a replica of The Endeavour to sail around the country in what our PM described as a “re-enactment of Cook’s voyage” and to help us better understand the “historic voyage and its legacy for exploration, science and reconciliation”!

By the end of the day, Mr Morrison himself certainly “better” understood the voyage, because he pointed out that Cook did not, in fact, circumnavigate the country and the only part of the voyage that was a re-enactment was the bit where he sailed down the East Coast. Yes, of course, Scottie knew that and wasn’t just correcting a mistake when it was pointed out to him. We all know that when we see a re-enactment of… say, a crime on TV, we know that it’s only the bits that actually happened that are the re-enactment and if they decide to throw in some extra bits we should just ignore them and know that whiile it’s being called a “re-enactment” there will, of course, be extra places and events that didn’t happen added for our greater understanding… Not that I’m suggesting that Cook’s claim to Australia was a crime. After all, as Scott pointed out, if it wasn’t for James Cook, there’d be no legacy of reconciliation.

Ah yes, if I were to suggest that, then I’d be one of those people… You know. the ones Morrison referred to when he said:  “The thing about Cook is I think we need to rediscover him a bit because he gets a bit of a bad show from some of those who like to sort of talk down our history,”

Yes, as he later added. “We’ve got great stories – some of them are hard, some of them are magnificent – but we’ve got to tell them all.” I guess that includes the inaccurate and biased ones too, even if it doesn’t include ones from people wanting to talk down our histroy.

However, it’s not the thongs or the re-enactment of things that never happened like Cook’s circumnavigation of Australia or Indigenous reconciliation which are likely to cause Morrison’s mates sleepless nights.

Recently the Liberals had made a decision that the local branches should select their own candidates. And, to their credit, they have stuck to this, apart from a decision that all sitting MPs would be re-endorsed when Craig Kelly looked like going rogue if he wasn’t given the nod… No, apart from that local branches are free to select their own candidate, and the PM is free to overturn the decision if a ‘great bloke” like Warren Mundine is happy to run. Well, he didn’t actually say that he was endorsing Mundine, he just said he’d have more to say “about our candidate in Gilmore, and I’ll say it when I do.” Mm, it’s very hard to say something before you do, but sometimes you may as well.

Mr Mundine, although not a woman, is an excellent candidate apparently. Morrison sung his praises telling everyone, “I think Warren Mundine has got a lot to offer, and he’s already been offering quite a bit. I’ve been a friend of Warren for some time.” What more could one ask for in a candidate than to be a friend of the PM. Ok, one could ask for him to be a member of the party, but apparently, Mr Mundine has fixed that by joining on Tuesday.

For some strange reason, the local branch in Glimore where this happened have had a couple of resignations, and Grant Schultz, the previously nominated candidate is running as an Independent. This is probably for the best, as he doesn’t have a very high opinion of our beloved leader, telling the media that  “the leadership of Scott Morrison has taken the party to the days of Eddie Obeid and the faceless men of Labor”!

Phew, just as well you didn’t end up in his government, eh?

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33 comments

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  1. Kronomex

    Is he talking on that mobile or trying to eat it? Could it be mobile shaped and coloured meat pie? While I’m the subject of mobile phones, didn’t I hear that the gubmint was considering banning them from classrooms and if so, they should also be banned from parliament when it’s sitting. How many times have we seen pollies playing games…er, conducting important matters of state when they should be concentrating on what is happening in the chamber. Do as we say, not as we do.

    Scummo suffers from an extremely bad case of Brainius Fartitus (no known cure) in which an idea, usually nonsensical, is farted into existence in his head and it has to search in the big empty space for the brain to be vetted for truth and logic before release. The brain, meanwhile, is bouncing around in the skull so much that the idea eventually gives up and heads straight to the mouth.

  2. Diannaart

    Snubbed real estate salesman, Grant Schultz, slams Liberals by comparing Morrison’s leadership to the worst of Labor’s.

    Takes Labor blaming to new level.

    Thing is whether voting for a Liberal candidate or a former Liberal candidate but now independent, the vote remains the same; voting for a right wing conservative.

  3. David Evans

    Talk about history? How about starting with the massacres of Australias first peoples? How about family histories of some of this countrys political “leaders”. How about some history of the naming of some Electorates? How about the history of the last 5 1/2 years political frauds and corruption? How about the history of the Murray Darling Basin? How about the history of Australias NBN fiasco? How about the history of Climate Change policy (?) in Australia. Just get real morrison, the most pressing need for history in Australia is for you and your “government” to go down in history as the most inept gang of no hopers ever in power in Australia.

  4. Rhonda

    Amen, David, & those above.

  5. PeterF

    David, I just can’t wait for them to be history.

  6. Michael Taylor

    Morrison has clearly laid down a challenge to Hanson and Abbott as Australia’s most history-illiterate politician.

  7. Rossleigh

    I suspect Scomo is doing his best to repeat James Cook’s history… The bit in the Hawiian islands!

  8. Bronte ALLAN

    Well said Rossleigh & Dave! This slomo idiot is nothing but a loser & just a typical right wing, flat earth, happy clapper, lying, obscenely over-paid so-called “liberal” politician! He really does give the trumpster a bit of a run for his money, but I think, overall, he really pales against that bloody idiot! Sadly we just have to keep putting up with the nonsense & no sense crap that bloody slomo keeps on saying. Cannot wait for the next federal elections to see him & his cronies put into Opposition, where they should remain for 10 years at least!

  9. New England Cocky

    The Liarbrals are so desperate that they endorse a former ALP President as THEIR candidate for Gilmore (NSW South Coast) BEFORE he joins the Liarbral Party!!!!!

    No prize for guessing where the ALP preferences WILL NOT go!!

    Oh well ….. NEVER disturb your enemy while they are making mistakes. Napoleon Bonaparte.

  10. Matt Saunders

    “After all, as Scott pointed out, if it wasn’t for James Cook, there’d be no legacy of reconciliation.” Did he really say that? I must admit I’ve been zoning out for quite a while when he’s selling himself.

  11. whatever

    Captain Cook is considered by those of the OneNation mentality to be some kind of Moses figure who founded the Nation of Straya for white people only.
    Scotty knows this.

  12. Rossleigh

    Matt, he actually said Cook’s voyage gave us a “legacy for exploration, science and reconciliation”.
    It reminded me of a kid’s reply to the question what does one need to do to be forgiven from sin, “First, you need to sin!”
    Without Cook, we wouldn’t have had reconciliation because we wouldn’t have been here… Or something like that.

  13. paul walter

    Thought it was a Rossleigh when posted elsewhere.

    Advertising; that which makes the inhuman human, the unloveable loveable, the fake real, the false true. Roland Barthes night?

    Watch those Lilly Waves…

  14. paul walter

    Loved Michael’s comment and a certain person who commented early may be not too disturbed to learn that I concur wholeheartedly with her comment.

    (Stinking) Fishkill in Excelsis.

  15. Matt Saunders

    Thanks Rossleigh. Similar words, same message received. Cannot believe my old man votes Liberal.

  16. paul walter

    Comment of the year, Matt Saunders!

  17. Rossleigh

    Hey, I just realised that “MORRISON” is an anagram of “Sir Moron”…

    Yes, I do have too much time on my hands!

  18. Kronomex

    Golf clap.

    🙂

  19. Robin

    Morrisons “mentor” is Brian Houston,whos Dad raped little boys and in his spare time founded Morrisons church.

    Google it.

    Morrisons “church” also benefits from the Abbott provided “chaplains” in schools..$4 million or some such,tax free.

    What could possibly go wrong?

  20. Robin

    Maybe raping little boys..no allegedly…wearing boardies and flip flops is an affront to a capitalist Jesus.

  21. Diannaart

    Rossleigh

    Sir Moron 😆

    Time well spent IMHO

  22. Bilko

    Back in the sixties while stationed in the middle east and later Singapore we all wore flipflops not sure where the name came from but they flipped and flopped under ones feet maybe that is their origin then in 73 I arrived in Australia and I find here they are call thongs now our Muppet PM dress code utterings says flipflops in thongs out or is it the other way round I am confused unless he is talking about female undergarments and WHO will be checking on that but where the hell does he think he is that he can tell Australians and expect to be “obeyed” on what they can and cannot wear. He has been in the sun too long call the blokes in the white coats asap or better still call an election.

  23. Michael Taylor

    Flip flops in the army, Bilko? They would have made a bit of a racket when marching across the parade ground. 😜

  24. Bilko

    Michael,
    Air Force actually but out of uniform only, hope you are fit and well, give Jean and my regards to your good lady dimentia setting in name defeats me Carol comes to mind. Please correct me if so.

  25. Michael Taylor

    Likewise to you and Jean, Bilko. Yes, Carol it is. We are both well and keeping ourselves active.

  26. Diannaart

    Kronomex

    Thanks for the link.

    I was wondering which petulant man-child.

    😜

  27. Matt Gray

    Scott Morrison, PM has been mentioned many times in the articles and comments above. That’s all they care about. Market penetration. The name and product, which, leading up to the election, they will associate with
    A) Tax Cuts. For mostly everybody. Good News – Vote for us! and
    B) Some sort of nasty incident, to do with Terrorists, Border raiders with or without children, and/or Boats. Bad News – Vote for us!
    This will be splashed and megaphoned down the throat and ears of the population through Komrade Murdoch’s archipelago of media outlets, plus Channel 9. And 10. Probably 7. Labor will be painted at every step as worse than hepatitis in kindergarten, as well as to blame for no tax cuts and being over-run by the wog-of -the- day, all arriving in fleets of boats if THEY get in!!!!!
    It is not a sure-fire thing, people. Let’s not think we can do naught and the Conservatives will melt away. They won’t. the bastards.

  28. Bert

    Flip flops, thongs or whatever you want to call them used to be issued as part of army kit. Used when showering to avoid planar warts and when off duty to allow the feet to air out after being stuck in those bloody gp boots for hours on end. As for Sir Moron (I like that and going to nick it for personal use) I’ve run out of words to try and describe him and the rabble he leads.

  29. helvityni

    I must be the only person in Oz who has never owned a pair of thongs….

  30. Kronomex

    Bert, the tassie devil rasta icon took me back to 1996. One of my brothers gave Dad a t-shirt with that printed on the front

    I was in the kitchen having a coffee and one our cats, Lord Banjo Nuttley, was sitting on the table next to me. Dad came round the corner wearing the the shirt and the cats eyes went dinner plate sized and then he fell off the table. I was almost choking from laughing and Nuttley was hiding under the table. My father, completely non-plussed, asked what me had happened and when I told him he almost didn’t believe me until he leant down to check the cat who immediately bolted for the back door. Dad went and changed into another shirt before going out to placate Nuttley.

  31. Bert

    Kronomex, I had one in the 80’s. I’m Taswegian and it just tickled my funny bone. Was stoked when I found it online and swiped it as my avatar.

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