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Malice in Blunderland

’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

In a local take on a post-truth Trumpian world of alternative facts Smirko Morrison’s BS centrifuge has been revved up to desperation level on the spin cycle. Election timing options have become constrained by circumstances beyond the limited capacities of our prevaricator-in-chief and Tory polling numbers have taken a promising downward trajectory.

Smirko’s omnifiascos have accumulated into an Abbottesque fustering of clucks and the panic is starting to show but you’ve gotta admire his chutzpah:

Framing an anti-corruption body as the bad guys is Orange Donnie-level gaslighting. The capo dei capi of the most corrupt federal government in our history is cashing in on the martydom of St Gladys d’Berejiklian, seeing a chance to sell his omertà as a virtue. Gladdy, his “very good friend“*, had been persecuted by ICAC, she was a victim – he would not be distracted from his good works by such unjust scrutiny.

*not his very good friend

Ever the opportunist who trades on punching down Smirko shortly thereafter took a populist dig at social media with some performative outrage at anonymous trolls, some of whom besmirch the reputations of the alleged rapists, the sex pests and stalkers, the sousers and spivs whose presence he relies upon to stay in power.

Smirko’s been selling farts as rainbows since his brief gig as a child actor. In spruiking NSW’s rampant Delta outbreak as the gold standard that is leading the way out of the pandemic he’s betting the house that the born-every-minute schmucks are as thick as the curtains in a ground floor bordello and that they outnumber those voters with either a conscience or a functioning cerebrum. The problem is that he may be right – the gushing over St Gladys has no doubt chuffed the PMO’s Goebbels-Riefenstahlists and their RWNJ pamphleteer chums from the Murdoch sewers.

Image: Charles Dodgson, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Gladdy was down not just on Daryl Maguire but also with the BAU Tory grift; rortin’ and rootin’ – you’re darn tootin’ (if the Libs wanna use that as a slogan there’s gonna be a small fee). Dirty Dazza was upbeat, feeling Glad all over 😎 with the scheming for detouring some lazy millions down Wagga Wagga way but so many sympathetic Aussie mums undermined the March4Justice sisterhood by allowing that Gladys, a senior politician blooded in the fight club of Tory politics, had no agency over her own decisions because of a dud boyfriend. FFS! Nice way to feed the ‘women are too emotional’ self-fellating misogynist set.

Let us not forget St Gladys’s direction of bushfire relief funds to Tory electorates and donors while ignoring badly affected Labor-held LGAs. Let us not forget either the shredding of the paperwork after ICAC revelations of the rorted Stronger Communities slush fund and Gladys’s “too bad, so sad” response. Her new squeeze is a senior counsel familiar with the workings of ICAC yet Gladys threw in the towel at the prospect of further please explains. Do ya think she may know what’s coming? Joan of Arc my pink, wrinkled arse! The Canberra Tories’ delight that the Gladys experience was validating their normalisation of corruption may have a short shelf life if Gladdy is proven to be a baddy.

That gaunt apparition now haunting the federal backbenches, looking less a Tory blue-blood Prime Minister-in-waiting than a corpse disinterred from a shallow bush grave is Christian Blue Balls Porter. It was Blue Balls who was initially tasked with drafting an Avoiding Answerability bill in the time he could spare between persecuting whistleblowers in secret trials and trawling for knee-tremblers in the bars of Manuka and Kingston. Nothing says integrity like a bloke who blames his 2 year old for wiping his iPhone, who refuses any testing of his vociferously professed innocence of rape allegations and who sits on a $1M legal fund the donors of which he will not reveal.

That Shroedinger integrity bill is now in the hands of a woman who was passed over for the job of North Korean news reader lady because she was too shrill. Michaelia has form – refusing an interview with the AFP over a choreographed police raid on a union. Her credentials as Smirko’s AG are impeccable.

Smirko also wants us to overlook that his 2IC is a babbler of incoherent hayseed homilies that pass for insights in whatever addled processes pass for his remaining brain function. Barmy Barnaby did what Barmy does – saying the quiet bit out loud by complaining that he couldn’t do his thing if he was to be held to account.

It would be useful if a Barnaby colour chart could be produced to warn observers of his current state: embarrassed pink, fully munted magenta, blotto burgundy, hungover vermillion, priapic purple or befuddled violet. There’s one thing to be said in Barnaby’s defence though – his pub tests always have the biggest sample size.

I am not crazy; my reality is just different from yours.” The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland.

Barmy is as miffed at social media as Smirko:

From my own personal experience of recent times, you have got to get to a point where you say enough is enough” said Barmy with a straight albeit florid face.

Sure, social media has its virtues and its values and enables us to connect with people in ways we’ve never had before, but those weapons can also be used by the evil one and we need to call that out.” Scott Morrison, Australian Christian Churches conference March 2021.

Image from Twitter

Smirko may claim to see the work of Beelzebub, perhaps in the user comments posted to his own social media calling him a duplicitous turd. He hates that he has little control over it but he fears an integrity commission. His ranting about social media is one of his go-to ‘look, squirrel’ distractions but nothing shouts guilty more loudly than a politician dodging anti-corruption scrutiny. He wants us to forget his pattern of failure but he is desperate to escape accountability for rampant corruption. A perp walk is not good look for post-politics sinecures even in the boardrooms and ambassadorships of the Tory ecosystem.

The connection between integrity commissions and social media is the Lying Nasty Parties’ dislike of both because they hold the sleazy bastards to account and call out the fuck ups being sold as triumphs when the mainstream media is largely complicit. The Tories will frame any legislation as being targeted at the nasty trolls but the net will be wide. Scrutiny, truth and dissent are their true targets and bullying and harassment is a practice they would prefer to monopolise.



The Morrison government is facing a battle over an integrity commission it doesn’t really want. ABC

Liberal MP Andrew Laming created dozens of Facebook pages to promote LNP and attack opponents. The Guardian

Bushfire Rorts: Coalition targets bushfire recovery funds for Coalition seats. Michael West Media

Win for Collaery derails Porter’s attempt to cover up Timor-Leste bugging. Crikey

Since 2012 Australia has slid 8 points in Transparency International’s global corruption ranking. Transparency International Australia


This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.


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  1. BB

    Aye Grumpy, reality plays no part in Morrisons life, who only has one way of settling all difficulties, great or small.
    Off with their heads! he cries, without even looking around.

    “When I use a word,’ Morrison said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.’
    ’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
    ’The question is,’ said Morrison, ‘which is to be master, that’s all.”

    That’s exactly what Morrison is all about, his words mean whatever he wants, just empty promises and pseudo plans.
    The bottom line for Morrison is all about hanging onto power, to be the master over us all… Authoritarian dictatorship.

    That Morrison is trying to make out ICAC in NSW is wrong is a vain attempt to steer folks away from any Federal ICAC.
    Morrison is again shitting in his Engadine daks… The sooner he is ousted the better for Australia, for all Australians!

    If you haven’t already, take the time to visit…

  2. Terence Mills

    Will Hodgman former Liberal Premier of Tasmania was appointed High Commissioner to Singapore when he quit politics – it has been suggested that after a suitable interval Gladys could well be appointed to the Singapore position in much the same way as Barry O’Farrell was appointed to High Commissioner to India when he quit as Liberal Premier of NSW.

    Don’t worry about Gladys, she is in the running for a cosy job overseas provided she isn’t prosecuted after the ICAC enquiries, which, on past performance, is unlikely.

  3. Michael Taylor

    I find it somewhat bewildering that Scott Morrison, who; opposed the banking Royal Commission; opposes a federal ICAC; appears regularly on 2GB and presumably trusts the Murdoch media… apparently wants to clamp down on Twitter.

    Yep, can’t have those pesky Lefties calling out his or the Murdoch media’s outlandish rubbish.

  4. Josephus

    I’ve joined the icac now party , though note that existing parties already support this. What a nest of substandard, unprincipled mob this lot are. Chuck them out .
    Thanks for the references .

  5. pierre wilkinson

    I reject the very premise of your allegation and your question is quite frankly offensive and i truly believe that the vast majority of Australians do not want it asked again, nor would they expect an answer when the suggestion of impropriety is so blatantly obviously a political ploy perpetrated by the perfidious and odious opposition who only want to take every opportunity, not to support our country, but to drag it down with their negative, delusional and, I am sorry to have to say this, grubby allegations… no, I think I have answered that question and I do not appreciate you harping on when the question has been answered in such a comprehensive manner, which is what I, and my government, do every day of the week, of the month and of the year, and in fact every year we have been in government, delivering the stable, good government that only a coalition government can deliver, with a balanced budget and an equal share of our country’s wealth, strong jobs growth and an economy that is the envy of the world… > self satisfied smirk<
    next question?


    There is nothing that can be said of such a collection of bastards masquerading as a government.
    And the stupid braindead will still vote for these dickheads. Are they all religious fools or what?

  7. Cool Pete

    Maybe we should ask the Divinyls if a twist to their song should be, “I don’t fear anybody else, But when I think about this, ICAC myself.”
    Of all the verbal diarrhoea I could read today, a right-wing potty on twitter claimed that Victoria was like Germany in the 1940s. Aside from the fact that Messerschmitt are not taking off from outside Melbourne and dropping bombs on London, Coventry and other British cities, and the fact that bombs are not raining down on Melbourne from Lancaster bombers, any comparison between Nazi Germany and 2021 Melbourne is ridiculous. If you want to see totalitarianism, look at the Federal Government.
    With an illusion to Potty Boy’s hurt feelings, he thought nothing of farting on Sky News about asylum seekers. One of the first questions Potty Boy needs to answer is, “Did he send AFP officers to investigate rape claims on Nauru before or after he made offensive claims?” Then, he needs to answer this question, “How did CCTV footage that the PNG Police have no knowledge of end up in his possession and why have the AFP not investigated and why have charges not been laid?” To say someone is a paedophile, rapist or murderer if they have not been convicted is defamatory!
    Mickey Poo Eyes had the temerity to shrill that she was waiting for an apology over the raid was the height of arrogance.

  8. Lovo

    😎Pete, the AFP are the LNP’S military wing…. If the RWNJ’S want the facts/truth to disappear they call in the AFP, …just ask Michaelia…

  9. Michael Taylor

    LOVO, it’s like what a scientist once said (when mockingly quoting naysayers): “Don’t bother me with facts. My mind is already made up.”

  10. Phil Pryor

    The unbelievable distortion in my time, is that we have gone from Menzies lazy deceptions, team propaganda, selfish sins of omission, dogmatic dickheadery, sly garnering of donations, support, influence, loyalties and reserve media troops to today..,with outright cheating, crookedness, lies, more lucking fies, distortions, suppressions, anti everything in science method, logic, progress.., and all for what, some hidden, thieved, filtered, evaded and avoided sums of money, at the risk of ALL of our GRANDKIDS being doomed to a stupidly and negligently organised corruption DEATH of this planet??? Political perverts and media maggots combine to stir up hatred, propaganda, sectionalism, superstitious shitheadery and DOOM.

  11. LOVO

    My mind is already made up… Migs/Phil….. ‘lucking fies’ is now a thing…😄
    No wucking forries about that, ay…lol
    Phil, I worry about the DOOM, too

  12. ajogrady

    Once you strip away the blatant ingrained insidious and treacherous corruption, the obvious and absolutely consistent poor judgement, the culpable and dangerous incompetence plus the shambolic and totally inept governance standards, what does the L/NP actually stand for? What is left? What is left is a snide, sneering, selfish, smug and contemptuous ideology that nurtures, coddles and promotes corrupt to the core swindlers, chiselers, fraudsters, shysters and con artists, pathetic debauched degenerates and perverted misogynistic misfits, pseudo Christian cult wack jobs, fanatical religious lunatics, cowardly war mongering hawks, altruistic economic vandals, preposterous climate skeptic fundamentalists and egotistical born to rule privilaged sociopaths and psychopaths that are devoid of standards, principles, values, morals, ethics, honesty, and basic empathy always rorting, fiddling, obfuscating and lying.The L/NP are an insult to equitable governance and egalitarian rule. The L/NP are not fit to hold any public office in a functioning, vibrant nation and a cohesive humane society .

  13. Lovo

    ajogrady, great comment
    the LNP illywacker’s are all about self….but, hey, Ima guessing you know that..👍

  14. Roswell

    Grumpy, I’ve just elevated you to the status of living legend.

  15. Roswell

    It’s good to see you here, LOVO.

    Some of us from the cafe gather here. You, me, Kaye Lee, Carol and Michael. It’s like the old team is back together again.

    Apologies for those who have no idea what I’m talking about. LOVO and me go back a long way.

  16. Max Gross

    Scummo knows very well: never give a sucker an even chance!

  17. GL

    Screw the Australians stuck overseas, we’ll get to them one of these years.

    Gina and Twiggy and Clive and all the big miners would be most upset if we allowed this to occur. They might not give us donations and cushy lobbyist…I mean consultant…jobs in the future.

  18. BB

    Beware. Democracy depends on accountability. Accountability provides checks on power. If abuses of power go unchallenged, those who wield it will only consolidate their power further. It’s a vicious cycle that erodes faith in democracy itself.

    Morrison in demonising ICAC reveals his intent to evade accountability. Morrison is a direct threat to Australia’s democracy.

    Is Australia soon to become the 51st state of the USA? It’s not for no reason that Australia is already known as Little America.
    American and International corporations joke about Australia being “Treasure Island”, thanks to Liberals and “Mates Rates”.
    Scott Morrison is, like John Howard and other RW arseholes, an Americanophile.

  19. Trevor

    Morri$CUM and his Dept of ShitFckery is leading the Nation… where??

    Well articlulated piece of writing, on the subject of Morri$CUM the corrupt, from tourism failure to political failure.

  20. Mary Smith

    Scurrilous Moronison keeps saying our covid response is best in the world. But durr, we are an island!! We should have done so much better!! So, so we should have!! We should not have had the rollout debacle or as many lives lost. We had no excuse. We could have done so much better, like New Zealand. And got everyone innoculated with a better inducement approach before covid got in. And we had time to prepare hospitals but that would have been admitting they were not updated for years but subject to cost cuts and no staff incteases for many years. Cut cut cut death by 1000 cuts applies to every human services dept in the name of reducing the deficit. Strange we have not heard that word for two years. They dont care how much money was splurged in less than well managed ways as long as they appear to have done well to get elected again. If they get in, as they could I’m sorry to say, with Palmers huge voter base passing on preferences to them the LNP will be faced with cutting things to appear good stewards, and wont care about the pain to the public, as long as they have another few years of living in the trough. Who is doing the accounting? The young lad must be a magician, ‘smoke and mirrors,’ which is another name for the PM.

  21. Kathryn

    Just looking at that sanctimonious, condescending smirk on the face of this smug, callously inhumane autocrat, Morrison, is enough to make one want to lose the contents of their stomach! It is impossible to think of a more repugnant, totally inept, born-to-rule bible-thumping hypocrite than this notorious, internationally condemned Horizon cultist who, despite having an international reputation as being an appalling recidivist pathological liar, managed to fool enough gullible, Murdoch-manipulated idiots in our nation to vote for him! Morrison has proven himself to be one of the most depraved, corrupt, power-obsessed, self-promoting sociopaths to have ever disgraced our nation during his short, ignominious tenure as PM! The only other perverted, racist politicians to have stooped as low as Morrison were his mentors: that swaggering, misogynistic, inarticulate sociopath: Tony Abbott and the vile, lying, conniving little war criminal, John Howard! Thank God the majority of foresightful Australians had the compassion, foresight and intelligence to kick these appalling political psychopaths to the gutter – it is right where they belong!

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