Apart from the obvious differences such as Julia Gillard being a lady and Tony Abbott being a mere male, head to head how do they otherwise compare?
I have given this question much consideration and have come up with what I think to be a fairly accurate list.
What do you think?
Julia Gillard: Cool headed.
Tony Abbott: Hot headed. In danger of bursting a blood vessel.
Julia Gillard: Composed.
Tony Abbott: Decomposed.
Julia Gillard: Tackles tough questions.
Tony Abbott: Ducks and weaves or nods head to within a whisker of it flying off.
Julia Gillard: Dresses elegantly.
Tony Abbott: Dresses scantily, exposing as much skin as possible.
Julia Gillard: Has a sense of humour, laughs a lot.
Tony Abbott: Has a sense of outrage, snarls a lot.
Julia Gillard: Runs the country, no task too big.
Tony Abbott: Runs away, it’s all too hard.
Julia Gillard: Kisses President Obama. Understands that ‘he’s da man’.
Tony Abbott: Kicks President Obama. Obama doesn’t realise that Abbott’s ‘da man’.
Julia Gillard: Has the keys to The Lodge.
Tony Abbott: Hasn’t got the keys to The Lodge. A real sore point.
Julia Gillard: Wants to help poor people. Nothing in it for her.
Tony Abbott: Wants to help rich people. Mutual back scratching.
Julia Gillard: Recognises we’ve been through the GFC.
Tony Abbott: Denies it ever happened.
Julia Gillard: Lives in the 21st century.
Tony Abbott: Stuck somewhere in a time warp between 1850 and 1950.
Julia Gillard: Gets called a liar even though she isn’t.
Tony Abbott: Doesn’t get called a liar even though he is.
Julia Gillard: Has the guts to go it alone on QandA. Answers questions.
Tony Abbott: Doesn’t have the guts to go it alone on QandA (unless of course he could just sit there snarling, nodding and remaining mute).
Julia Gillard: Looks comfortable and performs admirably on the world stage.
Tony Abbott: Looks and acts like a complete idiot on the world stage. Is even an idiot when not on the world stage.
Julia Gillard: Thinks before she speaks. Has the capacity to construct logical thought.
Tony Abbott: Doesn’t think – just speaks. Has perfected the brain fart.
Julia Gillard: Delivers policies.
Tony Abbott: Delivers slogans. Limits them to three words.
Julia Gillard: Hasn’t told the Queen we need an election. Hasn’t told anybody.
Tony Abbott: Has told the Queen we need an election. Has told everybody.
Julia Gillard: Is an atheist.
Tony Abbott: Speaks to God daily. Good mates. God knows that Tony’s ‘da man’.
Julia Gillard: Hasn’t been abducted by aliens.
Tony Abbott: Clearly has. Possibly subjected to anal probes.
Julia Gillard: Mature.
Tony Abbott: Immature. Needs to grow up. He can’t. Must be due to that time warp thingy.
Julia Gillard: Full of confidence.
Tony Abbott: Full of ****.
Julia Gillard: Sensible enough to know that the sky can’t really fall down.
Tony Abbott: Expects it to fall at any moment. Looks for cracks after each Labor policy.
Julia Gillard: Has a map with Whyalla on it.
Tony Abbott: He hasn’t. He wiped it off.
Julia Gillard: Says the media writes crap.
Tony Abbott: Says climate change is crap.
Julia Gillard: Has a policy document.
Tony Abbott: Has a brochure.
Julia Gillard: YES.
Tony Abbott: NO.
[textblock style=”7″]
Like what we do at The AIMN?
You’ll like it even more knowing that your donation will help us to keep up the good fight.
Chuck in a few bucks and see just how far it goes!
Your contribution to help with the running costs of this site will be gratefully accepted.
You can donate through PayPal or credit card via the button below, or donate via bank transfer: BSB: 062500; A/c no: 10495969
[/textblock]