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Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott: Head to Head

Apart from the obvious differences such as Julia Gillard being a lady and Tony Abbott being a mere male, head to head how do they otherwise compare?

I have given this question much consideration and have come up with what I think to be a fairly accurate list.

What do you think?

Julia Gillard: Cool headed.

Tony Abbott: Hot headed. In danger of bursting a blood vessel.

Julia Gillard: Composed.

Tony Abbott: Decomposed.

Julia Gillard: Tackles tough questions.

Tony Abbott: Ducks and weaves or nods head to within a whisker of it flying off.

Julia Gillard: Dresses elegantly.

Tony Abbott: Dresses scantily, exposing as much skin as possible.

Julia Gillard: Has a sense of humour, laughs a lot.

Tony Abbott: Has a sense of outrage, snarls a lot.

Julia Gillard: Runs the country, no task too big.

Tony Abbott: Runs away, it’s all too hard.

Julia Gillard: Kisses President Obama. Understands that ‘he’s da man’.

Tony Abbott: Kicks President Obama. Obama doesn’t realise that Abbott’s ‘da man’.

Julia Gillard: Has the keys to The Lodge.

Tony Abbott: Hasn’t got the keys to The Lodge. A real sore point.

Julia Gillard: Wants to help poor people. Nothing in it for her.

Tony Abbott: Wants to help rich people. Mutual back scratching.

Julia Gillard: Recognises we’ve been through the GFC.

Tony Abbott: Denies it ever happened.

Julia Gillard: Lives in the 21st century.

Tony Abbott: Stuck somewhere in a time warp between 1850 and 1950.

Julia Gillard: Gets called a liar even though she isn’t.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t get called a liar even though he is.

Julia Gillard: Has the guts to go it alone on QandA. Answers questions.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t have the guts to go it alone on QandA (unless of course he could just sit there snarling, nodding and remaining mute).

Julia Gillard: Looks comfortable and performs admirably on the world stage.

Tony Abbott: Looks and acts like a complete idiot on the world stage. Is even an idiot when not on the world stage.

Julia Gillard: Thinks before she speaks. Has the capacity to construct logical thought.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t think – just speaks. Has perfected the brain fart.

Julia Gillard: Delivers policies.

Tony Abbott: Delivers slogans. Limits them to three words.

Julia Gillard: Hasn’t told the Queen we need an election. Hasn’t told anybody.

Tony Abbott: Has told the Queen we need an election. Has told everybody.

Julia Gillard: Is an atheist.

Tony Abbott: Speaks to God daily. Good mates. God knows that Tony’s ‘da man’.

Julia Gillard: Hasn’t been abducted by aliens.

Tony Abbott: Clearly has. Possibly subjected to anal probes.

Julia Gillard: Mature.

Tony Abbott: Immature. Needs to grow up. He can’t. Must be due to that time warp thingy.

Julia Gillard: Full of confidence.

Tony Abbott: Full of ****.

Julia Gillard: Sensible enough to know that the sky can’t really fall down.

Tony Abbott: Expects it to fall at any moment. Looks for cracks after each Labor policy.

Julia Gillard: Has a map with Whyalla on it.

Tony Abbott: He hasn’t. He wiped it off.

Julia Gillard: Says the media writes crap.

Tony Abbott: Says climate change is crap.

Julia Gillard: Has a policy document.

Tony Abbott: Has a brochure.

Julia Gillard: YES.

Tony Abbott: NO.

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14 comments

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  1. eleanawi

    Thanks a lot Michael. When I got to the bit where Tony Abbot was decomposed I started laughing. I laughed so much I started coughing, which turned in to a great big tax on my body.

    Look, I couldn’t have written it better myself, though if I gave it time I could probably come up with even more comparisons. But they will do for now.

  2. Joy Cooper

    Excellent & absolutely spot on, Michael. Many thanks.

    Julia & Tony are complete opposites & I know which one makes the better PM. The right are so blinded by ideology they cannot see they have a complete & utter idiotic, cringeworthy failure in Abbott. The rest of their shadow front bench aren’t much better, either.

  3. Tinfoilhatter

    “Julia Gillard: Gets called a liar even though she isn’t.

    Tony Abbott: Doesn’t get called a liar even though he is.”

    A new meme to display on my car windows. Cheers!

  4. Susan

    Yes, laughter amongst the tears…..because it seems that in spite of all of this, he is going to get the lodge keys. Unbelievable, and sad.

  5. Fed up

    It appears that the PM has self doubts. That is what the PM was careful not to say last night.

    We now do not only take sentences out of context, but words out of the sentences.

  6. Sandra Searle (@SandraSearle)

    Yes Fed Up, I agree with you. I thought that the PM was pretty cool last night especially when Tony Jones tried to make an issue with the PM ‘ever having any self doubts’..He pushed the issue not once but a few times & the PM just smiled & indicated that she was not about to commit political suicide on Q & A.

    I was pretty proud of questions asked by the young audience. Just goes to show that young people are capable of being able to look into the future with some optimism. Thank heavens they haven’t developed too much cynicism yet. Hopefully those of voting age see through all of the totally negative bull**** that the MSM & LNP, young ones can usually sus out when they are being conned.

    Michael, you have made my day with this article. After seeing TA on ABC24 pontificating again about ‘his’ NDIS and throwing the biggest hissy fit I could at the TV, I was in need of a good fix of humour. Thanks heaps.

  7. Ricky (Tory Torcher)

    Well I would like to see that fake wrapped in cotton wool and moth balls that lives in Murdoch’s pocket attempt what the Prime Minister achieved last night. Frank ,succinct, honest, forthright and believable. Last night and on sunday morning on the insiders, the prime minster displayed what a true leader is. No weasel words, no slogans just inspiration and truth. the alternative is not even close.

  8. David

    Nice one Michael, truth v lies, truth wins even from an atheist 🙂 So many do not appreciate how lucky we are having Julia leading this nation.

  9. carolyncordon

    Funny stuff, thanks. Of course, it still looks like the Abbott crew will win. Sadly.

  10. Tinfoilhatter

    All you people sighing ‘sadly’ about what you believe is a foregone conclusion, should find your backbones and challenge those around you to have a good look at the facts. People need to wake up to the conditioning they are being subjected to. It is straight out of Mr Goebbels playbook if they care to look and comprehend. I ain’t going to sit back and consume shit ‘sadly’ or passively. Yes there is a challenge ahead, but look at the poor excuse for an alternative – a bunch of elitist, penny-pinching gold floggers. I will no longer consort with those that would dine on shit and expect me to do so too. Yay FTTP NBN! Yay NDIS! Yay Gonski!

  11. dafid1

    Agree about the forgone conclusion. I too am tiring of hearing it, particularly from those who should be fighting not giving up. I am unfollowing every twitter a/c that even hints at submission.
    A good Labor person fights to the last second, we don’t give in. Julia and her Govt have achieved too much to allow this cretin psycho Abbott and his gutter rats wreck the economy

  12. Ricky (Tory Torcher)

    A foregone mass delusion

  13. Pingback: Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott: Head to Head | U...

  14. Marcus

    Most enjoyable. A good cascade.

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