Ok, I normally write satire. But also I’m ridiculously well read and I know people who know things. Sometimes people take me seriously when I’m writing satire and laugh at me when I’m being serious.
For this post, I’ll let you work it out for yourselves. A very reliable source has just recently told me that Malcolm Turnbull will lead the Liberals to the next election. The first image of Turnbull I saw after this titbit was this:
Note the hi-viz vest. Now, as we all know this is the well known garb of those with aspirations to lead the nation. I mean, did you ever see Peter Costello in one? So I had to give the tip some credibility. After all, when he was dumped as leader, Turnbull announced that he was leaving Parliament then he changed his mind. Given he didn’t need the money, and given he allegedly disagrees with almost every policy that the Abbott Government is pursuing, one has to wonder why he’s being such a good little soldier and saying, yep, direct action, yep, no to gay marriage, yep, we just love the Monarchy and, of course, we don’t need no NBN.
Then I started to search the Internet. Why did Turnbull stay?
Ah, so John Howard -a man also dumped as Opposition Leader – convinced Turnbull to stay on. Mm, why would Howard want a man like Turnbull to stay on? After all, for two Liberal politicians, their views are almost diametrically opposed. Still, Howard was a canny politician. He may have seen it as handy that the Liberal still had a man that the latte-left would like. (I’m drinking Chardonay, atm, darlings, so I can say that.)
And today we have this:
Howard Questions Cuts To Family Benefits
In the midst of all this criticism, Howard fails to completely back Abbott for making the “hard decisions”????
So has it all been planned? Let Abbott win the election, do the dirty work, have a coup, and go to the next election with Turnbull doing a mea culpa and saying we went too far and promising to wind some things back.
Mm, I thought, I have noticed the odd article in the Murdoch Media slightly critical of Tony over the past few weeks. Actually, a couple of them were downright nasty.
When I suggested to my source that Abbott would surely object to this, he laughed. (Unless my source was a woman, in which case, she laughed! I try to be inclusive…)
“Tony wouldn’t know if his arse was on fire until he was told, and even then he’d have to check with Credlin.”
Yep, you’re right it’s just satire. I promise. I don’t have a source. I’m making it all up.
And when it happens…
Yeah, it was just coincidence.