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Is it possible to feel sympathy for Smirko? Yeah, nah!

Spud pulling the wings off butterflies – “I think I will, I think I won’t…”.

You’ve got to feel for der Gruppenfritter. Well, no you don’t – the bloke’s what an arsehole would be if arseholes had an arsehole, or in kinder parlance he’s a fully cooked unit, so rather let’s just have a chuckle at his dilemma – will he deploy an IED or will he hold off hoping Scooter goes full Campbell Newman.

Spud can smell the blood in the water. Herr Shickletuber is no doubt delighted at Scooter’s travails; according to Bob Carr going so far as chucking a grenade down the hallway in the form of a public airing of a scathing text assessment of Scooter’s character as a “fraud” and “complete psycho”.

The potato wedge (someone had to say it).



Usually immune to embarrassment Scooter’s rapid-fire eyeblinks semaphored his discomfort at the National Press Club when publicly confronted with such an accusation originating from a member of his own cabinet and at his “good friend”* St Gladys’s contribution to same – “a horrible, horrible person more concerned with politics than people.”

*Author’s note: not his good friend.

I can imagine Spud’s excitement at these public humiliations of his foe – a facial tic, a slight flaring of the nostrils. If he possessed eyebrows perhaps he may have lifted one as another indication of his arousal. I’d never given any thought before to the notion of synchronised boners with Spud but in watching the opprobrium build on Scooter I displaced my hot Milo and Scotch Finger from my lap to the carpet due to a phenomenon that’s as rare as a Tory’s kept promise. I felt a fleeting bond with hairless Hitler. Chubby buddies!

Scooter’s messiah complex is evident in his smarmy arrogance and self-regard and his shamelessness but, like his deity, he’s got a vengeful, thin skin – those barbs would’ve stung. Scooter is incapable of introspection and is inclined to retribution but he’s powerless to act on his instincts to undermine his tuberous nemesis so as per the playbook his response was to deny and distract. A photo-op was called for.

In a desperate attempt to divert attention and recover some palatability with pissed off women in particular the self-styled marketing whizz concocted a bizarre mash-up of the shower scene from Psycho and Patrick Swayze’s reach around on Demi Moore in Ghost by washing an innocent woman’s hair.


Image: Some clever clogs on Twitter


Creepy yet hilarious; fondling an unknown woman’s head was Morrison’s attempt to offset his misogynist reputation FFS! Touchy pervy with the vibe of a subliminal baptism – surely a sign this bloke cannot read a room or that some in his inner-circle of image wranglers hate him. Perhaps both.

In watching the unravelling of the Tories as a whole and Morrison’s smirkathon in particular one is inclined to optimism that this unapologetically corrupt and shambolic regime is shortly to be assigned one-way tickets to Dignitas. The opinion polls are promising, independents are threatening once blue ribbon seats, their fuck-ups are affecting the politically disengaged and internal warfare is rife.

Tory cheersquadders Janet Albrechtson from Murdoch’s Daily Riefenstahl and the oleagenous Andrew Bolt on Melbourne’s Hun have both voided on Scooter. The scrotum squeezed through a shirt collar that is Rupert Murdoch does not like backing losers. Likely there’ll be Scomo+Jen hagiographies scheduled for regular release but if Murdoch’s faecal finger of fate points Scooter to the exit he’s in big strife.

We’re in for months of the worst behaviour possible from the desperate Tories. They can and will get dirtier – the prospect of a grilling by counsel assisting with consequent spooning from Bubba on the lower bunk lends itself to fear and panic. We can abhor the coming ugliness while enjoying the thought of their collective puckered sphincters.

Scooter’s god will be on speed-dial but his mendacious, genocidal deity requires careful handling. Tithing and prayer circle schmoozing of his celestial sponsor won’t keep the Tubermensch at bay. In the traditional, unambiguous sign that he’s circling Spud told morning TV he’s “100% behind” Morrison. He would’ve gained new friends if instead he’d said “Scooter is my Prime Minister and I’m ambitious for him.” Will there be a Spud spill? Doubtful, but the prospect is heartening.


Twitter again

* * * * * * *

When Morrison describes the aspirations of Australians, it’s like reading a Hallmark card. He never braves the harder stuff, the values a democracy depends on to function. Truth be told, I can’t work out what values excite him politically. Except winning. In some ways he’s the Liberal Party’s Kevin Rudd, only less annoying.” Janet Albrechtson – The Australian.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. Harry Lime

    Scooter Morrison, the calumnious cockhead,corralled by the tubercular tuber.When karma comes home to roost,it’s a beautiful thing.Like The Lying Nasty Party devouring itself.

  2. Phil Pryor


  3. GL

    A brain eating amoeba that accidently found it’s way inside the echo chamber between Scummo’s ears would starve to death while searching for sustenance. Sympathy for Smirko Smirkoffsky? Not a chance.

    A thought: The only way a brain eating amoeba (it would have to absolutely desperate to even consider such a thing) could get at the charred raisin sized brain inside the The Reichspud’s skull would be if it had a heavy duty amoeba sized pneumatic drill and dynamite.

  4. Albos Elbow

    How ironic that Scummo has become his own distraction to amuse his loyal Coal ition cockheads.

    He has become a wandering, wounded wildebeest, while Potato Head and the Paedophile Hyena Pack stalk him from behind, camouflaged by the smoke of coal, oil and gas burning.

    No worries, Potato Head is going to shirtfront Putin, after he cleans out the Chinese commies from under Albos bed.

    Clive Palmer is enjoying the sideshow and says his $100 million invested in election propaganda is worth every cent so far.

    Will the Miracle of the Outing of the Twice Removed Immaculate Virgin Mother Gladys be repeated.
    Surely not.

  5. Socrates.


    He has always gloated when he has caused pain.

    There are many others also this writer would like to hurting; the smirking, corrupt minions who have skulked in the shadows loading their pockets and purses while he operates as a clown shoes diversion for them.

  6. Josephus

    A scurrilous, brilliant attack mr Grumpy. The hair wash is indeed as nauseating as that laying on of his hands on the coastal woman who had lost her house to the fires. So Gladys the alleged (hello lawyers) criminal is being hired for some plum job? We are looking through the looking glass into a topsy turvy world as I see it. Do by the way sign the petition of get up warning about the abc’s so called funding .Thanks.

  7. Bert

    Jaysus, I wish you’d post some sort of warning when you include a line like this in your posts….

    “The scrotum squeezed through a shirt collar that is Rupert Murdoch does not like backing losers.”

    Something like, put your coffee down before reading this.

  8. New England Cocky

    The simple most direct answer is a very loud ”NO””!!!!!

    Scummo is a ”victim” of his own deceptions and deserves everything he gets ….. except a public pension & rights of a former Prim Monster at enormous further expense to Australian taxpayers.

    Scummo’s greatest achievement for Australian voters is to unequivocally demonstrate that the Liarbral Nazional$ COALiTIon is the LEAST FIT ORGANISATION TO MANAGE AUSTRALIAN FINANCES FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE TAXPAYERS!!

    Maybe THAT is why Scummo has invited the mining corporations to adjist in the PM’s office directing operations while Scummo [insert your choice of distraction]. Now how much has been paid to the BIG FOUR accountancy firms for their neo-liberal economic policies favouring the rich and creating the working poor?

    The only thing left is for GG to string together a seven word alliteration describing Scummo … to start say, messiah, misogynist, mediocre, mendacious ……

  9. Let go of Scummo!

    The terrifying realisation that there is yet another DISTRACTIONERY war (with Russia’s likely invasion of the Ukraine) on the horizon which will provide Scummo with the perfection diversion from his appalling mismanagement, incompetence, smirking arrogance, callous inhumanity and bible-thumping hypocrisy – is a very scary scenario! Like the war criminal, John Howard, before him, Scummo will use hate, division, fear and WAR to take attention away from his total incompetence, his complete inability to lead and his bone-idle laziness as one of the worst, most corrupt political parasites in living memory! The sad thing is, that the Lying Nasty Party KNOW – from woeful experience – that when some Murdoch-manipulated, gormless Australians are afraid, or facing a potential war that may impact on our nation, they will always and invariably vote conservatively no matter HOW bad, HOW corrupt, HOW incompetent or HOW dangerously undemocratic the Australian Tories are!

  10. Gus

    Agree Bert,
    Made my day!

  11. Jack Cade

    Today, the Daily Mail (spoiler alert- I have the app because of its sports section, specifically its reporting of EPL matches. I loathe its political stance) has an article by Karl Stefanovich in which he praises the mendacious and almost certainly corrupt Bible basher as a lovely bloke and a cuddly teddy bear.
    The sole remaining unspeakable noun – once wittily hinted at in the descriptor of a photo of then UK pm Cameron with the small then leader of the Lib Dems as ‘the Conservative PM with a small ‘c’…’ is apt for both Stefanovic and the creature he is trying to rehabilitate.

  12. GL

    Scummo is purely about Scummo and everybody, including the LNP, is only there for him to use, abuse, and throw onto the abattoir conveyor belt of his almost insane and pathological need to remain in power.

  13. Lambchop Simnel

    Just thinking on the religious dicrimination failere and thought of hard-core Victor Orban of Hungary passing laws that conflate homosexuality with paedophilia.

    In relation to Morrison here, do great minds think alike or fools never differ..

  14. wam

    Hard to argue with albrechtson? The lemon and little billy should be sent to fox glacier hotel to gather evidence of melt till after the election.

    Sadly, scummo has three miracles pending:
    the communists russia west,
    the communists china east
    the bandit.
    As for karl baby his idea of political fair play is a fab4, himself, flibbity, the potato head and hinch. All the understanding and depth of a swab smear on petri dish agar.
    Maybe the federal police could use the pommie cccop’s approach to scummo and the rorters by sending them a questionnaire?

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