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Interview With Mr Rabbit After Mr Bull Has Taken Over!

Andrew Boar Column

Why The Removal Of Mr Rabbit Is A Tragedy Not Just For The Farm But The Worst Thing To Happen To This Country Since… Well Actually Nothing Worse Has Ever Happened!

Now that Mr Rabbit is gone I can finally tell the truth about him. Folks, you made a big mistake.

No, no. The mistake wasn’t that you voted for him.

In fact, you got one of the finest animals ever to be in charge of the Farm. As my boss Mr Fox, the other finest being to have ever lived, said “He’s a decent rabbit!” Far too decent for the job which requires the sort of animal cunning that Mr Bull has displayed in ripping the job from his hands.

And I know some of you will say that I’m just saying this because he’s my friend. But the truth is that he’s my friend because I’m saying this.

He’s had a rotten couple of weeks. In spite of stopping the goats and removing the tax on animal droppings, the animals have deposed him. And it wasn’t even all the animals. Just the ones he thought had his back.

Little did he realise that was where they were going to sink the knives and that they were only behind him so that he wouldn’t suspect.

Yet how glorious was he in defeat. While other defeated leaders of our farm have rushed out and congratulated the winner quickly, Mr Rabbit took fourteen hours to compose a speech that rivals the Gettsburg address or Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech.

“Quite a crowd here today, thank you for being here.

“This is not an easy day for many animals  in this building. Leadership changes are never easy for this country. My pledge today is to make this change as easy as I can. There will be no wrecking, no undermining, and no sniping. Quite unlike the other people who’ve become Head Farm Animal.

“I have consistently said in opposition and in government that being the Head Animal is not an end in itself – it’s about the animals you serve. And how you prepare and cook them. Of course, sometimes there have been complaints that it was only the chickens that were being served and that some of the better fed animals were just getting fatter. Certainly, I reject this because without fatter animals people would have nothing to aspire to.”

He went on to list his many achievements and to thank people before quietly hiding in the barn so that Mr Bull could get on with the job without the focus being on the unscrupulous way he seized power.

Fortunately the time for silence is over and Mr Rabbit is again showing that he keeps his word by giving me this interview and demonstrating that, in all of this nastiness, he’s still the bigger animal.

Boar -Thanks for joining me, Mr Rabbit.

Mr Rabbit – Oh come on, we’re friends. You can call me “sir”.

Boar – I can’t tell you how impressed I am by the way you’ve handled yourself over the past… Well, you’ve always impressed me. You’re just wonderful, but the way you haven’t done anything to undermine the current leader has been a credit to you.

Mr Rabbit – Well thanks, Andrew, and just let me say that I’ve always been pretty good. I’ve been prepared to own up to my mistakes unlike some people who are now leading the farm and I’ve been committed to improving things around here, so I didn’t expect to be stabbed in the back.

Boar – So you feel Mr Bull stabbed you in the back?

Mr Rabbit – They’re your words, not mine. I’d just urge all the animals to now get behind Mr Bull no matter how hard it is to get behind such a two-faced hypocrite. After all, the thing that matters is that we all work together to improve things. I’ve always encouraged cooperation and it’s only been those who’ve disagreed with me that have stopped this being one big, happy team.

Boar – So you don’t feel bitter at all?

Mr Rabbit – No, Andrew, just disappointed when we’ve done exactly what we criticised Julia Rhode Island and Kevin Rooster for doing. And let me add we were absolutely right to criticise them for doing something as idiotic and undemocratic as replacing their leader because of poor polling… But I don’t mean this as a criticism of Mr Bull.

Boar – You’ve forgiven him?

Mr Rabbit – If I say “no comment”, that’ll be blown up and put in tomorrow’s news, so I’d rather not say “no comment” and just leave it at that.

Boar – So you have forgiven him then?

Mr Rabbit – No comment.

Boar – What if you’d acted on the concerns about Joe Hoggey and Peta Peahen?

Mr Rabbit – Look, it’s a bit of a myth that if it’d removed either of them that animals keen for advancement would have been satisfied. Peta was doing an excellent job and Mr Hoggey had my loyalty.

Boar – What are your future plans?

Mr Rabbit – Well, I plan to do lots of interviews like this one where I urge my supporters to get behind Mr Bull – even if they don’t like him because we know that deep down he’d be prepared to work with those chickens who ruined our farm. 

Boar – Well, I for one wish to tell you how your removal has just broken my heart and I just hope that one day we all wake up and realise what we’ve tossed away.

Mr Rabbit – Could you repeat that last bit? It sort of got lost when you threw your face on the floor at my feet.

Boar – I just said that this is a time of great sorrow and I’m not sure that I can continue with the interview because I can’t see to read my questions through the tears.

It was a shame that we had to end it there, but I’m thinking that I could offer to help write a book on Mr Rabbit’s time as Farm Leader where we remind people of his achievements and his great humility.

This farm has rejected and despised a great rabbit. You should all have a good hard look at yourself. And I don’t mean in the mirror, Mr Bull!

 

28 comments

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  1. M-R

    Orwell would be smiling in his grave (or whatever).

  2. brickbob

    Bloody brilliant piece of writing and very funny,well done Sir.”””

  3. Free-Thinker

    A devastating piece on the man Julia Gillard received criticism about early in her Prime Ministership, no doubt because of her diction-related utterances, when she perhaps mischievously referred to the then Opposition leader as ‘Mr Rabbit’.
    Rossleigh, I think you have captured the spirit of Mr Rabbit in your satirical headlights.
    Metaphorically speaking of course.

  4. Felicitas

    And long may the Rabbit reign in the background – the more he hogs the limelight the more the Bull can be seen to be a bit player- regardless of his shade of lipstick. Love your work Rossleigh! Great way to start a long weekend

  5. Anomander

    Superb!

  6. metadatalata

    “Mr Rabbit – Could you repeat that last bit? It sort of got lost when you threw your face on the floor at my feet.”

    Obviously toned down a bit for general consumption. My imagination has Mr. Rabbit throwing his face halfway down to the floor, peeling down the trousers and, well, you get the rest. That is the way I imagine Mr. Rabbit spends most of his time around Mr Boar , on his knees and nodding vigorously while chowing down.
    Not my cup of tea but some politicians are overly subservient to their supporter’s whims.

  7. Faye Cox

    Thank-you.

  8. Emmee Bee

    Loved it! I bet you had a lot of fun writing it too.

  9. mars08

    I’d just urge all the animals to now get behind Mr Bull no matter how hard it is to get behind such a two-faced hypocrite. After all, the thing that matters is that we all work together to improve things. I’ve always encouraged cooperation and it’s only been those who’ve disagreed with me that have stopped this being one big, happy team… “

    The sad reality is that, for over 4 years, he had a large chunk of the Australian public… and almost all the msm… going along with him. Abbott is not the disease… he is merely a symptom!

  10. madeleinekingston

    Thanks so much Rossleigh for your satirical piece

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmopYuF4BzY

    Well my Mamma She Don’ Me. Anyway you do

    So then on the topic of Mr. Rabbit, loved your take. What a Bloody Joke. Excuse my French.

    My compliments

    So carry on; unless of course your intent was not to be satirical. In which case may I withdraw?

    Yours from Downunder; you know where the sun always shines; unless one talks of politicis

    Madeleine Kingston, Victoria, Australia

  11. madeleinekingston

    So all over again then? You mean you lost the first reply

  12. madeleinekingston

    Excuse Me? Absolutely not. Last thing you do scream, protest and carry on. Hold your positions. Goodness Gracious. Greza Balls of Fire

  13. madeleinekingston

    Oh Lord. Lost the bloody reception. Oh Well. Excuse me? Oh My Lord

  14. madeleinekingston

    So Bambinas. You you with me or not? You know I can’t hear you; don’t you. So are you with me or bloody not? Don’t get so excited please. Just routine. So you with me or not?

  15. madeleinekingston

    So there was a price then? You have specifics. On the price parameters? Kindly provide the evidence. When will you do this?

  16. madeleinekingston

    As I walked along. C’mmon. So Do have a view then on these vexing is issues? Say so. In all arenas.

    https://theaimn.com/interview-with-mr-rabbit-after-mr-bull-has-taken-over/#comment-397047

    So Who is the Rabbit?

    And Who is The Bull?

    Kenny, Mark [2015] So that’s it for Abbott in Canberra: Don’t bet on it. Sydney Morning Herald 1 October 2015.

    http://www.smh.com.au/comment/so-thats-it-for-abbott-in-canberra-dont-bet-on-it-20151001-gjyx45.html

    http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2015/s43222884.htm

    http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2015/s4309488.htm

    Wikipedia is a good starting point, published under Creative Commons, re Morrison’s background, which discusses the manner in which he over-turned a humiliating defeat 82 to 8 in favour of Michael Towke, who later successfully sued the Daily Telegraph on the basis of allegations that later proved to be false. I take the view that Wikipedia may be a good starting point from which to explore this issue further. I do not pretend to be across the facts in this matter, nor do I aim to make allegations.

    On Morrison’s performance to date in his role as Treasurer under the Turnbull government and his media interviews … let the record speak for itself.

    I have the greatest concern about Scott Morrison’s positioning and policies during his time as Immigration Minister under the Abbott Government, his endorsement of Abbott’s dog-whistling and apparently deliberate distortion of right to seek asylum regardless of mode of arrival, and he use of the term ‘illegal arrivals” and similar. I rely on Article 31 of the 1951 Refugee Convention which was clarified more than adequately in the 1999 UNHCR Detention Guidelines. These have been further expanded in 2012 Detention Guidelines which reflect international norms and positioning.
    Convention Relating to the Status of Refugees

    http://www.ohchr.org/EN/ProfessionalInterest/Pages/StatusOfRefugees.aspx

    “Article 31 – Refugees unlawfully in the country of refuge
    The Contracting States shall not impose penalties, on account of their illegal entry or presence, on refugees who, coming directly from a territory where their life or freedom was threatened in the sense of article 1, enter or are present in their territory without authorization, provided they present themselves without delay to the authorities and show good cause for their illegal entry or presence ….”

  17. madeleinekingston

    So C’mom You Half-Baked Bleeding Cowards. Oh Lord. Can’t stand up for your principles? Please express your views with dignity, grace and peace. Otherwise I will disown you. No problem. No time for the Rabids. No sir. Restraint. Otherwise At Your Own Peril. So you are with me or bloody not. I will not hesitate to Axe the Rabids. Yup. Without hesitation. So you Dancing with me or Bloody Not then?

  18. madeleinekingston

    ‘Cos I sweae to you. Not creeping about. I swear to it. Not a Creeper or Crawler. So you are with me or creeping not then? Yess or no? Yes or bloody no? Yes or bloody no ten? Please your bloody selves. Noted. Take your positions please for the Creeply Crawly Dance Expression.

  19. madeleinekingston

    Thanks so much. So Now if I got your attention.

    Firstly I would like to say. Thank The Lord for Independent Media. Or Lordy, Lordy, Lord. Provided I have interpreted you correctly. But if not, I reserve the right to withdraw; If that’s all right.

    ‘Cos All along looking for a sympathetic viewpoint.

    So in the first place; This Absolute Looney. Yup Exactly, The Rabbit. Yes that’s the one.

    So if I have correctly interpreted your position; This complete [perceived] Lunatic, “The Rabbit Person” has made a complete and utter and veritable idiot of herself. So I say in all sincerity. Please The Rabbit. So if you can’t Trust The Rabbit; what the bloody hell can you trust. So you are with me so far then?

    Ladies and gentlemen; Please take the usual risks in trusting the Rabbit.

    Now I do not wish to denigrate The Rabbit, as such. because the Rabbit is a useful creature; no doubt about that; if only for illustrative processes. And yet; Mea Culpa; I forget this illustrative principle. Save me please; from my own blinkers.

    Baby-Su?. Or Lord?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upaAsYM0948

  20. madeleinekingston

    Or don’t you worry.

    Whatever I said before

    Just repeat after me

    Yup

    Quack. Quack. No exactly no.

    I had hoped …

    Well the gist of it was

    Never trust the quack-quacks .. till you can trust them

  21. madeleinekingston

    So I take it then; you are still with me then? Otherwise; you know what t do; don’t you then? Yes or no?

  22. madeleinekingston

    So, I mean to say; not wishing to leave the rest of you hanging. In this class we look for innovative input. Take it from me; the also-rans are ruthlessly axed. Don’t I know it. So would you please hand with me. At least on the basis of lessons learned. Thank you so much. So Are we hanging then; by a Thread? As you would appreciate; not so smmothe

  23. madeleinekingston

    So. Take your positions. Hup-Two-Three-Three-Four. Twisting-Along

    You know what I mean.

    Either you are with it or you are not?

    So I take it then; that the Mainstream Media just cannot cannot cope. What with the gaggin; the fear; or whatever

    Exactly

    Shake the Rhythm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upaAsYM0948

  24. madeleinekingston

    What? This is the psychedelic explosion?

  25. Möbius Ecko

    “Abbott is not the disease…”

    Which one, myxomatosis which blinded the Liberals into selecting him or calicivirus that had them hemorrhaging lies and deceits because of him?

  26. mars08

    Something more like Crohn’s disease. A malfunction of the body’s autoimmune system… resulting in the body damaging itself. In serious cases the symptoms include anal abscesses and fistulas.

    Enjoy your breakfast!

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