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Hey, Scotty, the cracks are showing!

The LNP’s Ministry Of Propaganda trading as Newscorpse and a globular, yellow Trump doppelganger from Queensland are apparently two of the tools that a loving, omnipotent deity used to deliver his “miracle” of a return of Scotty The Favoured Morrison to the big, green, Prime Ministerial swivel chair.

What is becoming quite apparent with Brother Scott is that his claims to the miraculous are not him simply taking gliberties© with the language; he is not speaking metaphorically. He goes beyond the simple narcissism and hyperbole of a vacuous politician; he fully believes that his all-powerful, invisible pal in the sky favours him above all others to be Prime Minister.

ScoBro signed up for the full package – creationism, Beelzebub, the second coming and an imminent Armageddon plus, for an additional fee, his upgrade to Prosperity Jesus, the post-hippy, entrepeneurial saviour who bestows earthly rewards upon his shareholders. Morrison thinks he’s there via divine endorsement.

Scotty perhaps should throttle back on his invocation of miraculous interventions in his political career until the scenario fully plays out. His god’s participation in the election was less than whole-hearted given the narrowness of the result, it’s very early days and the cracks are already showing.

Morrison’s version of godliness will, I predict, be a catalyst for the coming disastrous failures of these corrupt and incompetent S-bend residents who are experimenting with being a government.

Withdrawal of God’s favour

What withdrawal of God’s favour may entail is somewhat vague on my part but i’m pretty sure that, electoral oblivion aside, it’s quite a flexible parameter in the minds of the rampant god squaddies of Scotty’s weird cult. In many a Tory’s mind it’s not merely the electorate that has given them licence to continue to be utter pricks it’s the Big Man in the sky himself. If blatant deceit, lying and hypocrisy don’t transgress the fine print in God’s contract then they will be emboldened to go further. The seeds of their own destruction will be sown as it dawns upon the credulous and the ignorant who voted this cargo-cult across the line that they are not amongst the chosen few.

The papered-over cracks in this abysmal assembly are re-appearing, as gaping as ever.

Cranks and absurdities

The RWFWs, kept carefully out of earshot during the election to avoid reminding the punters of where that fetid stench comes from are once more to the fore. The Find The Fuckwit Competition is again in full swing.

Barnaby Bedswerver has re-raised his purple head. Climate denial, a second ice age, nuclear energy, gerrymandering the Senate to advantage the rubes … no opinion is too asinine or ill-informed, no rort is too blatant to emabarrass this bibulous gobshite into silence. He will continue to remind us all of the low entry requirements for National Party pre-selection while continuing to plot to topple the bobble-head who took his place.

With flubbeters aflopping and jowels aflapping Craig Kelly, aka Hugh Jarse2, a balloon sculpture gone wrong, bloviates constantly on SkyNews to embiggen his profile. Please, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Blubber, you nearly block out the sun as it is, metaphorially and literally.

That mortician’s practice dummy Erik Abetz once again channels his great uncle Otto by trotting out his credentials for Fascist Munt Of The Year. If Herr Abetz can’t scare voters, noboby can.

Michaelia Carcrash – the Nurse Ratched of the Liberal Party cuckoo’s nest, McFailure Crash is both a spoonerism and an example of nominative determinism rolled up into one nasty reminder that to progress in the Liberal Party a woman must be equally as reprehensible as the men while being just as incompetent. Kicking working Aussies in the goolies is her specialty – her championing of wage thieves, withdrawal of penalty rates, casualisation of the workforce and erosion of workers’ rights are underpinned by Brother Scott’s Us vs Them religious dogma.

Peter Potato Blight Dutton, the omnipresent anaphrodisiac with waxed-potato pallor the dead-eyed, po-faced, odious Spud-Dutton lurks. Brother Scott, with God on his side and new spill rules in place thinks he’s safe.

ScoBro, you and your lot believe in a literal Lucifer – so look over your shoulder. That personification of evil behind you is going to shank you just as he shanked Turnbull. He’s biding his time with his RWFW acolytes, those haters who haven’t forgiven you for not rallying support behind the feral friar from Warringah in his time of need.

Conspicuous corruption

God helps those who help themselves. A perfect alignment of Pentecostal and Tory dogma so that even those less committed to Jesus V2.0 can indulge in the doctrine of personal wealth and greed but now with the imprimatur of righteousness.

Watergate, Grassgate, Reefgate … the list of dodgy deals and corrupted processes is a long one and the LNP has become shameless in their abuse of accountability. Their behaviour will become so blatant that even the most complacent voters will start to notice the stench.

Religious freedom

The furphy of religious freedom is self harm at a collective level – a re-run of Tony Abbott’s practice of punching himself in the head.

The attempts by the crazies in the tin-foil titfers to enshrine their bigotry in “religious freedom” legislation is a giant billboard advertising to a mostly secular electorate that the LNP has left the gate open on the turd farm.

It will be hugely amusing to watch the contortions of these “Christians” when it dawns on them that such protections for their intolerance applies equally to others … uh oh … and not just those Muzzies but the Islamists too.

A few long, hot and dry summers

With the Rapture pending there’s no point in slowing down earthly wealth accumulation by expending any effort or money in mitigating species extinctions, ecological disaster and climate change. So sayeth ScoBro. OK, he won’t come out and say it but you can bet our planet that he believes it.

When recurring, extreme weather events start hitting the apathetic in the hip pocket through rising food prices, damage to their property, insurance coverage; when other more responsible countries hold us to account through embargos, when climate refugees start arriving then the neglect and vandalism of these shysters will hit home.

A policy-free zone

Chaos will fill the void.

* * * * *

For Morrison the metaphysical is not metaphorical – it’s indisputable fact. Inconsistencies and contradictions in Morrison’s for-profit Jesus Pty Ltd are edited out of the narrative while the preferred bits are spun or invented.

Planet Earth and all it contains were gifted to the righteous for their benefit, and it is the righteous and only the righteous who are entitled. All you non-happy clappers get off the bus. Pentacostal voodoo is exclusive and surely it must dawn on even the most stupefied dullards that ScoBro & Co are trickling down the entry steps all over our shoes.

With good sense and some good luck ScoMo’s only lasting legacy will be a small plaque at Engadine Maccers – “Shouty shat here“.

This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. Baby Jewels

    Oh god, I needed that. 😀

  2. Grumpy Geezer

    BJ, That’s what ScoMo said at Engadine Maccers.

  3. New Bruce

    Thanks for that.
    Mr Smith and Co whipped the sharks last night, (the great pumpkin must follow afl) and that was a really good read.
    True too.

  4. The AIM Network

    Hey Bruce, what happened to the old Bruce?

  5. whatever

    Great read, Grumpy.
    The paywall banners on the SMH website now encourage you to subscribe and support ‘Independent Journalism’, ……….who do they think they are kidding?

  6. Alpo

    Yes Grumpy, but all that was already known before the election, and look at the results.

    This country and its democracy are in far more troubles than we thought. The internet, the volunteers, GetUp!, the ACTU didn’t make any difference (in fact the ALP primary vote went backwards)…

    It looks like that only a big, fat GFC-2 may be able to overcome the propaganda capacity of the 1%, and the stupidity of too many voting Morons.

  7. Henry Rodrigues

    Accurate in-depth analysis of Scummo and his band of dorks. Good one Grumpy.

    whatever……….I been wondering when those so-called Independent journalists at the SMH wake up and look around, they don’t fool anyone anymore and soon they’ll become extinct with Peter arsewipe Costello at the helm. I used to read their online edition and at times even offered my opinion but I then realised I was feeding into their propaganda machine. Not anymore !!!

  8. Spindoctor

    So now our preying PM and his Laurie Oakes described ‘rabble’ are fully enabled and engaged to kill off the ABC, deregister and gut unions, continue Murdick’s KillBill/ALP, do nothing for the Jobless, gut education, science, further privatise the public service, gut charity funding for anyone who criticizes them and closely further the IPA aims. How long do we have to suffer more corruption, fraud, nepotism and gutting of the economy before the penny drops, LNP voters flee and mass public protest send the rabble packing? Three more years? Jaysus I hope not. Aunty is knobbled, commercial TV news is sliding further right. Get Up proved inneffective, My prayer is for a miracle gathering of respected ex journalists, an independent AJA here and elsewhere to attack the tory forces and Ruperts machine to discredit their lies and bias and put hard hitting questions that Smiley has to answer not duck, weave and avoid so we toos sooner the money grubbing philistines out of the temple.

  9. Grumpy Geezer

    Anyone mystified by ScumMo’s preaching about Jesus and his reconciliation of that with his enthusiasm for demonising the disadvantaged should read up on Pentacostalism. This is a cult that believes if you got the shitty end of the stick it’s all your fault – you haven’t prayed and tithed enough.

    It’s not only bizarre it’s truly alarming when you have these creationist freaks in government.

    ScumMo claims he separates his faith from his job. He does not. His weird beliefs show through – “a fair go for those who have a go” is double-speak for picking on the vulnerable. These turds believe that all welfare is evil. They are however a tad flexible on what they class as welfare. Franking credits for example are excluded as are all tax breaks for the privileged.

    We need freedom from religion. Particulalrly ScumMo’s noxious version.

  10. Vikingduk

    Makes you wonder why the liar from the shire, that jerk with a smirk, that blustering buffoon motor mouth Morrison, is quite happy to appear at the $370 a head happy clappers wankfest with the son of a rock spider. Houston apparently helping conceal his dear father’s paedophiliac history, his role in the coverup still being investigated by nsw cops. Shane Dowling, kangaroo court of Australia blog. Very interesting read.

  11. John Higgins

    I’m waiting for Jesus’ representative on earth (Not the Pope) to declare an increase in the GST rate followed by cuts to Medicare. Where are Opus Dei and the other warring Christians? Can we see a fight between Catholics and Pentecostals? I’m hanging out for the Religious Wars, that’ll test the metal of the dumb pricks that voted for these shysters, I reckon most Aussies are pagans. Rise up Pagans!

  12. Niko

    A finely expressed analysis, GG.
    But questions on the tithing issue, for taxpayers to contemplate.
    Is he tithing part of his parliamentary salary & allowances to this tax-exempt cult? If so, shouldn’t we taxpayers have some say?
    Or in separating his faith from his job, is he hanging on to all the money because he is ‘entitled’?

  13. David Stakes

    Best read ever,

  14. Grumpy Geezer

    A dip o’ the lid for the positive comments.

  15. Nedi

    ScoMo Judas: “Im ambitious for your Jesus”

    Hillsong Goat farmer turns PM.

    The Regan era right wing “MEGA churches” has become “MAGA churches”

    Apparently the Church is right before God because MAGA churches have become KAGA churches. Nothing can be a bigger deception by the drunkards of Ephraim the right wing gentiles of the churches of Neoloberal Babylon who have said we will make Babylon great again to now saying Keep Babylon Great Again

  16. Florence Howarth

    God help those caught helping themselves.

  17. Phil

    On Golgotha the thief said to Jesus.

    The thief .’ Jesus.’ Jesus said ‘ Yes my son.’

    The thief . ‘ I can see your house from here ‘

    Straight to hell for me.

  18. paul walter

    I can’t believe in miracles.

    Not after the 2018 election.

  19. Aortic

    Just noted that favourite of Late Night Sky News Craig Kelly giving us his wisdom on the economy. Says if we give up digging up our precious coal we will sacrifice our economy. I fully realise he couldn’t point to the UK and Europe on the map, but if he even took a cursory glance he would realise renewable energy plays a bigger and bigger part in their energy production. I haven’t noticed any collapse or undue unrest in any of them. Message to Kelly, Canavan, Abbott, Christensen and allies. You won’t have an economy if the planet is unliveable idiots.

  20. Geoff Andrews

    Keep ’em coming, Grumpy.

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