So Have You Heard The One About The Duke, The Abbott and The Bishop?
In response to the Queensland Government’s crackdown on graffiti, where vandals will be given up to seven years jail, Tony Abbott has announced that his government will be introducing similar penalties for those caught doing electronic graffiti.
“We’ve just about had enough of people using things like Facebook and Tweeter to undermine what should have been a happy occasion for everyone. In future, anyone using social media for any other purpose than to give straight factual information or post photos of kittens will be subject to our new electronic graffiti laws!”
Yeah, you’re right. I’m making it up. Well, not the part about Queensland – but there’s always been a few Northern politicians who’ve had too much sun. The interesting thing, of course, is that some of you probably took it seriously, or at least wondered. And, if you rang around Liberal politicians and asked them about Tony’s proposal to ban electronic graffiti, they’d probable feel obliged to check that it wasn’t true before they made a comment.
But with the Government licking its wounds over its failure to push legislation through the Senate, and it’s “Hey, why don’t we just ignore the Senate and pass things through regulation” strategy in tatters, we heard promises of a more consultative government. Of course, that didn’t mean Tony Abbott. What the rest of the Liberals don’t seem to understand is that he won the election. I mean, he was going to be Pope at one stage, but then he discovered that then God would be in charge, so he decided to become PM where he alone is able to determine policy.
Why did we introduce knights and dames? Well, Tony said so, and he’s the supreme leader. Why did he give Phil a knighthood without consulting anybody? Well, he consulted the other person getting one, and then he asked the Queen if she’d like to give her husband a knighthood. “Oooh, thanks,” said the Queen, “normally, I don’t get to give imperial honours to members of my own family. It’s such a thrill, I haven’t been able to get Phil to go down on his knees for me since the early ’80s! Thanks, you wild colonial boy, you.”
Yes, I’m sure that there’ll be people out there saying that we shouldn’t be concentrating on trivia like this. That there are important issues. But surely the fact that PM feels like being elected gives him a mandate to do what he likes, is one of the important issues. This isn’t just about something that he’s sprung on the electorate before the election; he’s even sprung it on his own party. While some of you may be smirking at the poetic justice of that, the fact remains we have a leader who makes the dictator from “Bananas” look sane by comparison.
This is not just about a difference of political opinion. It’s hard to see anyone – with the possible exception of David Flint who feels that anything less than the deification of the Royal Family is to treat them with disrespect – who actually thought that Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh needed Australia to remind his wife that the addition of an antipodean knighthood would be a nice little post-Christmas present. (David Flint, by the way, ran a Facebook group called “Direct Democracy” which argued for the right of the people to call an election with 15,000 signatures as its raison d’etre. Strangely, it now argues against global warming while telling us all what a great job Tony’s doing.)
All Abbott really needs now is for someone to ask him if Campbell Newman is really so toxic that he doesn’t want to be seen campaigning for a loser. If he says that it’s because it’s a state election and therefore about state issues, then the obvious follow-up is “Why did you campaign in Victoria then?”
I suspect we’d see a stare longer than when that reporter asked about the context for the “Shit happens” comment.
523 total views, 2 views today
23 commentsLogin here Register here
But Abbott is a Brit , he suffers with the usual Liberal Cultural cringe and that Forelock tugging , what a dope , but as I said he is Brit , perhaps Abbott should go back to the UK where he belongs
Under Tones, Politics is show buiz for ugly people. Canberra has morphed into a hysterical ugly comedy scene from “Little Britain” where little minded men lye back and think of England. The Empire of past. They bring their Errors of ways of Old Europe with them.
An O.A for the one percent…Well done Tony.
For the Duke with everything. Give him an O.A.. How imaginative Mr Abbott.
If the Duke sends a letter of refutation of the O.A. This would take the number of bills to be knocked down in the senate to 97 this year.
I doubt this O.A will pass the senate either Mr Abbott.
Like Mr Abbott co-payement, this awarding of an O.A seemed doomed to failure in the senate.
An O.A to the Duke..Tony’s only non-broken promise.
An O.A to the one percent..Tonys only non-broken promise.
An O.A to the one percent lifters.
Shit does not “happen”, it is caused by arseholes. TA is the proof!
still laughing about poor phil going down on his knees in front of a ( sorry… the ) queen.
Interesting split in the NT over Phil’s K. Chief Minister Adam Giles implied it made us look like “tossers” but the Lib. MHR, Natasha Griggs, a self described monarchist, thought it was ok. I imagine she’ll be regretting that come the next election.
Perhaps the PM is just guilty of being himself. You have to be very talented to transform our national day into a joke.
According to the report I heard Andrews stated that the entire cabinet supports his decision, which is good because nobody else seems to. I have an acquaintance who simply adored him and his fascist mob who admitted today that the man is quite nuts.
What a bugger!
To all the good people here please read and share this post.
Right now government officials from around the world are meeting in New York to negotiate the controversial Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (or “TPP” for short). If Australia signs onto the TPP, it will give multinational corporations the power to sue the Australian Government for decisions they claim may impact their investments in Australia.
We’ve already seen the dangerous implications of these powers played out right here in Australia. Similar provisions in an Australian-Hong Kong treaty are being used by US global cigarette and tobacco company, Phillip Morris, to sue the Australian Government over the introduction of plain-packaging laws.
Forces all around the world are banding together to stop this deal from going ahead, to ensure their governments can’t be sued for making decisions that are in the public interest. Watch the video that explains why this deal will be bad for all Australians, then sign the petition to sound the alarm.
If foreign corporations are given the power to sue national governments when changes to domestic laws affect their profit margins, it will inevitably restrict our government’s ability to put in place regulations to protect our environmental assets and our health. What’s worse, these lawsuits would be played out in secret international courts, which only corporations have access to, with no rights of appeal.
It’s hard to believe this could happen in Australia, but there are already cases around the world of companies using what’s known as Investor State Dispute Settlement (ISDS) provisions to sue governments:
• A foreign-owned energy company filed a $250 million lawsuit against the Canadian government, when Quebec placed a ban on dangerous fracking processes in a local river.
• In El Salvador, a Canadian company is suing the government for $315 million in “loss of future profits” because local citizens won a hard-fought campaign against a gold mine that threatened to contaminate their water supplies.
• An international utilities company sued the Argentinian Government for imposing a freeze on water and energy bills during the global financial crisis.
• And in Canada, US pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly is suing the government for $500 million in compensation, because the courts revoked two of the company’s patents citing lack of evidence around the drugs’ supposed benefits.
Do we want to live in a country where foreign-owned companies have the right to sue our government for introducing laws to protect our farms, land, water and our health? International corporations should not be able to take the Australian Government to court. It flies in the face of democracy, and will leave taxpayers at risk of paying corporations enormous amounts in compensation.
Worryingly, Trade Minister Andrew Robb has already indicated he’s willing to sign on to the deal, which is why we need to act quickly. Here in Australia, only one in ten voters have heard about the TPP.2 But if this deal goes ahead, it will be all of us who stand to lose – so it’s time we spoke up. We need as many Australians as possible to hear about the dangers of the TPP. Can you watch and share the video, which explains why this deal will be so dangerous? Click here: http://www.getup.org.au/tpp-isds
The deal is still being negotiated, but could be finalised when ministers from the 12 different countries next meet. So we need to get the word out there and make some noise before Minister Robb signs the dotted line. The fight to stop the TPP is a huge, coordinated, international resistance and the more people who join the fight, the better our chances will be.
Can you help sound the alarm before it’s too late?
Kelsey, Alycia, Sally and the GetUp team
~ References ~
 History shows the heavy price of free trade, Canberra Times, 21 February 2014
 Trans-Pacific Partnership is a big deal, but hardly anyone knows, SMH, 17 February 2014
GetUp is an independent, not-for-profit community campaigning group. We use new technology to empower Australians to have their say on important national issues. We receive no political party or government funding, and every campaign we run is entirely supported by voluntary donations. If you’d like to contribute to help fund GetUp’s work, please donate now! To unsubscribe from GetUp, please click here.
Our team acknowledges that we meet and work on the land of the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We wish to pay respect to their Elders – past, present and future – and acknowledge the important role all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people continue to play within Australia and the GetUp community.
Authorised by Sam Mclean, Level 2, 104 Commonwealth Street, Surry Hills NSW 2010.
I hereby issue my first CSG contamination alert.
Dairy products from NSW towns in the Gloucester Basin are unsafe due to contaminants introduced into the water table by the fracking process.
Gloucester, Stroud, Barrington region of the Hunter Valley.
Thanks CMMC ,good to see fracking is safe after all.
I cant think what we were all worried about.
I think you just nailed the strategy the Liarbril’s demise in your second para…. constant phone calls asking if what you’ve just heard on any media is true… the rabble will be running in so many circles at once to check the veracity of it their policy free election will come back and bite’em on the bum.
“Oh Schadenfreude, Oh, Schadenfreude ……” (to Tannenbaum)
Rossleigh ………. good one as usual.
As you surmised ….. “The interesting thing, of course, is that some of you probably took it seriously, or at least wondered. “
Given that I find it difficult to believe or comprehend what I read about Abbott and his inane comments, resolutions, and regulations passed ( enacted ) without legislation or Senate approval, perhaps I can be forgiven for almost believing your 2nd paragraph. ….It’s so often a case of ” Ya gotta be kidding – he didn’t REALLY say that, did he ?” …..
So yes, I admit it – I gasped – and wondered.
Because – with this incredibly rabid and out of control PM and his ministers ( maybe not so many Cabinet ministers now after the Prince Philip fiasco ) … any damned thing is possible. …. All diplomacy and democracy has gone out the proverbial window, and a form of ‘government’ anarchy reigns.
To protect their own interests ( and their forever pensions ) …… I don’t believe the LNP ministerial line-up will put up with Abbott for much longer. ….. MSM has already muttered he will be gone within 6 months, which is a tad longer than others have stated. And Rupert Murdoch ( as I thought some time back he would do ) — has backed off, and now remonstrates against his former ‘ best pal ‘ – Abbott.
As I have noted in other comments on other articles – there ain’t no such thing as ‘friends’ in politics or in the media. …. Murdoch would ALWAYS protect his own reputation, and interests – no matter what.
And THAT is now coming to pass. ……. hmmm !!!
Perhaps there’s a bit of crank magnetism at work? 😉
Science & Technology gives us the answers including exposure, so you can bet ya bottom dollar that, the dumb slip of the lizards tounge “electronic graffiti” is something he’s putting a lot of thought into and just how he’s going to control “yet again” how typical citizens expect society to flourish. Hopefully before not to long the lizard will get his rewards “in gaol where he can be knighted as much as his heart/less desires”
Why is it that Abbott in particular, and most other Australian PM’s of recent times, show all the signs of being military groupies?
And nary a one ever served in same military forces? John Gorton an obvious exception.
Please explain . Anyone.
I can’t. Why on earth we are spending SO much on the military is beyond me. They are given more money than they can spend each year and Abbott intends to increase it every year until they are getting $50 billion a year. We are spending over $1000 for every man woman and child every year.
Decade after decade, the biggest share of the defence budget has gone on capabilities, such as fighter jets, major warships, submarines and heavily equipped land forces, that are irrelevant to the lighter tasks we have been sending the ADF off to do. If these capabilities make sense at all, it would only be in fighting a major war. Yet hardly anyone believes this is a realistic prospect, let alone a winnable one.
I think most of us know, deep down, what the cause is…
yep! If the usa says jump, Australian pm’s don’t ask how high. They just jump as high as they can and keep on jumping!
Great yarn, Rossleigh, but I really think Tones has your number. On RN today, he is umming and ahhing about his choice of sir/prince/whatever and “he’ll take it on the chin”. He’s in Melbourne and met with Ms Batty. If anybody there asked how he could even face her when he has de-funded so many women’s programs, it certainly wasn’t broadcast. It seems MSM is questioning his judgement whilst the internetty graffiti thing is questioning his sanity. Clive nailed it. As with Keerti, I’m laughing, hoping the teeth are out and the knees are steady. Rossleigh, how can you possibly satirise him? Take care
We’ve been here before ; advocacy of military funding by rattling tins and fetes, education and health by proper taxation, unevadable.