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Fear and loathing in the Tory Party

“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” (Hanlon’s razor).

As we enter year 7 of the biggest fustercluck in our political history the ongoing, mind-numbing incompetence of this “government” may lead some to overlook the malignant mendacity and grift that is archetypical of our Tory kakocracy. Hanlon’s razor may be valid in many contexts including the ballot box behaviour of about half of the voting public but it does not apply to the malicious L/NP nightmare itself.

The primary, defining characteristic of a Tory is avarice. Many of them even reimage their deity to accommodate their greed and selfishness. The party once shaped by an old-fashioned protestant work ethic is now captive to hypocritical religious nutters of creationists and exit-through-the-gift-shop Mammonites.

Hand in glove with their covetous, bespoke piety is their fear and paranoia. Fear of the unknown, fear that science challenges their ooga-booga superstitions and biases, fear that change will threaten the inherent privileges of the status quo, fear that equality jeoparises their rightful place at the top of the pile. Their paranoia is that for them to win others must lose. Where rational people see opportunity in change and equality they see only danger.

They fear anyone with alternative opinions, they fear those with facts and figures. They fear dissent, they fear Labor, the Greens, greenies, unions, GetUp, Extinction Rebellion, knitting nannas, Lock The Gate, school kids, Greta Thunberg, the ABC, the CSIRO, the BoM, NASA, social media, moderates, lefties and anyone not like them. They fear you and me.

Their fear manifests itself in their attacks on scrutiny, their autocracy, their bullying, their constant lying and misrepresentations, their abuse of trusted institutions and conventions, and their protection rackets for their fellow-travelling carpet baggers, corporate grifters and thieves. But above all, what they fear is being found out.

What they want is “quiet Australians” – the uninterested, unquestioning, complacent sheep who’ll keep them in power. Unfortunately for them the signs of a ruined environment and its consequences are becoming too obvious for all but the morons to ignore. This is THE issue that will remove these malicious, corrupt cretins from power. Unfortunately for us, until that happens, irrevokable damage will be caused to the planet and to democracy. It’s up to the noisy Australians to make sure the Tory’s worst fears are realised and that collectively they all shit their pants one last time.

This article was originally published on The Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. blair

    they are right to fear ÿou and me”
    Anyone know of a guillotine sharpener around here?

  2. New England Cocky

    GG, you have a wonderful grasp of colloquial language and express our opinions so clearly and succinctly.

  3. Henry Rodrigues

    Grumpy , you speak for us all, and in such eloquent and descriptive ways. Scummo and his band of dyfunctional dickheads get away with deception and criminal behaviour through the aid and assistance and abettance of Murdoch the crinkled scroat with his minions , TV and print media, and the ranters on SKY and radio and of course the ABC and the SBS, with a mealy mouthed leader at the helm. The people are helpless because they know Labor and the others cannot get in a word edgeways.

  4. Grumpy Geezer

    New England Cocky – ta.

    Are you a real cocky? Are you from New England? Are you Tony Windsor? 🙂

  5. Roswell

    Exquisite, Grumpy.

  6. Michael Taylor

    GG, what a punchy little piece. It gave me the usual quota of chuckles. Henry was right when he said you spoke for us all.

    Keep on speakin’.

  7. Carol Taylor

    I note that all examples such as GetUp, Greta etc are all people who ‘do’ and the thing that Morrison seems to loathe with a passion is ‘doing’..posturing, that’s fine but it’s only under extreme duress that Morrison actual does anything. Perhaps ‘doing’ is against his god’s will, doing might delay the Rapture..or is Morrison just plain lazy?

  8. totaram

    Carol Taylor: Please, please! I keep emphasising that this government DOES do things and in spades! Those are just not the things you might want them to do, but that’s OK for them. They do all that is necessary to shovel the money from government and the land and the people to their “donors”. If they do anything else it is to cover up the theft, and in that they may be a bit incompetent, but with the aid of the mass-media of all stripes the sheeple never get to know and/or soon forget. So it goes.

  9. John Holmes

    Good one!

    The Worship of Mammon – “Wealth, Riches and Power” seems to be the religion of choice of this mob. As it is a man made religion, it also inherits the problem of the “Fall”. So how will it fail it’s worshipers? I feel it is time for a Revolutionary – Reformation to reset the rules until the next time house cleaning is needed.

  10. One Foot In The Grave

    Grumpy,love your eloquence,but in your infinite wisdom, can you tell me if it’s a sin to to have a secret desire to eliminate that fat, lying,grotesque toad?

  11. pierre wilkinson

    excellent analysis as usual GG
    all we can do is offer hopes and prayers…
    that we get two by-elections before his time is up so he loses power in the HoR
    then sit back and watch the bloodbath as the COALition self destructs
    – wait, they already are, just in SloMo
    One Foot: no it is not a sin, just common sense to kill known vermin

  12. Krri

    Personally I would like to see all of them suffer the fate Tony Abbott lied about……
    “Dead buried cremated”
    But in reverse order.
    Taylor needs a serious bollocking for his abject stupidity let alone his shallow lying and arrogant belief that his actions will not be scrutinised.

  13. Kerri

    @ Henry Rodrigues
    You made me laugh! I always refer to him as the empty ballsack.
    @Carol Taylor
    Morrison is all about appearances. Just like his church. Doing does not equate to earning.
    @ John Holmes.
    Is there any other religion than man made?

  14. LambsFry Simplex.


    Avarice and vanity.

  15. Anarchy rules

    Only one Tory prime minister went to a state school . Arguably the worst one ,the social climbing John Winston Howard .All the others where isolated from the masses from a early age and taught they where special, the next generation of leaders ,the born to rule class. They will use all possible means to protect their privilege ,power and wealth. The old school tie controls the banks the media the law the corporations and ultimately the country . With that sort of breeding and pedigree the rest of us are against it from the cradle to the grave.

  16. mark

    To use a musical category to describe them,it would be.You are soul. mark

  17. Stephen Tardrew

    Love it great rant Grumpy and good laugh too.

  18. Patagonian

    But what REALLY terrifies them is democracy. They’d have us back in the 17th century tugging our forelocks at them as quick as you can say FauxMo.

  19. johno

    Well said Grumpy. Short and sweet.

  20. Pappinbarra Fox

    Kerry you asked Is there any other religion than man made?

    Yes. As it just so happens my dog created her own religion. A dedicated band of followers too. Many parallels. She cast our cat out of the house calling it the devil.

  21. Kaye Lee

    And right on cue, our PM for doing nothing stands by Angus Taylor and says, “I take matters of ministerial standards very seriously.
    Based on the information provided to me by the commissioner, I consider there is no action required by me.”

  22. wam

    The manipulation of these fears in worker and the pensioners is the secret(to labor) method behind scummo being prime minister and the rabbott before him and the lying rodent before that.
    Creating and playing on fears is best done by a lie and smoke that gives a truth to the lie.
    To combat the lie requires thought, research and intelligence. QED Albo is in trouble and should start now quietly getting the morning shows to ask questions.
    You have to love scummo’s call? After all, Stuart Roberts paid back $38000 of claims and Angus has already claimed more than clover in Jan-March this year, so I wonder if he asked the commissioner to investigate clover’s paltry claim?

  23. Linda Jenkins

    Grumpy you’ve done it again! I love reading your blogs. You manage to shape my jumbled thoughts into words and sentences that say everything I want to say, but don’t know how to say it. I look forward to reading your next post.

  24. Kathryn

    The fact that the Tory-influenced, fascist regime of the LNP rule by war mongering, fear, division, racist xenophobia, paranoia, hatred and the character-assassinating vilification of the most vulnerable people in our society – is not new! The LNP have ruled – using this twisted, perverted ideology – since time immemorial! The LNP have ALWAYS been a haven for bible-thumping sanctimonious hypocrites and callously inhumane, stone cold neoliberals who are only motivated by unquenchable greed and a remorseless self-serving corruption and nepotism that is meant to increase the wealth and power of themselves and their multi-millionaire donors and cronies in the Top 1%.

    The fact that the breathtaking hypocrites in the LNP – who fought long and hard AGAINST Labor’s demands for a thorough Royal Commission and intensive investigation into the shocking ongoing corruption, fraud and deception by the banking industry – saw them knock back these demands by Labor and the Greens more than 23 times! Now, that Westpac have been caught red-handed and can no longer hide its depravity any longer, only NOW have the miscreant grubs in the LNP JUST come to the table railing against the MASSIVE level of shocking corruption undertaken by Westpac (and the banking industry in general)! And what have they done? Has anyone been arrested, charged and JAILED? No! These criminally corrupt, lying, thieving bastards have been let off with a slap on the wrist and a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HANDSHAKE! Not good enough, MorriScum! We want to see everyone from the CEO right down to middle management be charged and JAILED!!! If ordinary citizens were caught with their hand in the till, we would be jailed – but THIS mob in Westpac were far, FAR WORSE. Their corruption was enabling terrorists, trafficking of children, criminal laundering of money – it is INTOLERABLE.

    Sadly, such unspeakable corruption, nepotism and criminality always THRIVES under the jackboot of rapacious ultra-conservative governments because they, themselves, are corrupt from the top down and rotten from the inside out!

    This is WHY it is so imperative that the people of Australia KICK THESE BASTARDS to the kerb – at State and Federal level – at the next elections! Vote Labor or the Greens but make sure the morally bankrupt elitists in the LNP are voted out so comprehensively, they are unable to return for decades. It will take THIS long for Labor to clean up the horrific, catastrophic mess (both financial and environmental) left behind by the LNP, the unmitigated Grim Reapers and truly the worst government in our history!

  25. Vikingduk

    With the latest U.N. report warning us of a climate catastrophe, unlikely to keep temp. below 3 degrees, we don’t have the luxury of politics catching up. The evidence is slapping us in the face and what do we do? Reduced to slagging off the smirking jerk and his rotten cohort of arsewipes.

    A world wide disaster compounded by wilfully ignorant, greedy, hate filled, rotten to the core scum.

    Politics, change of government will not address the steps required to attempt to avert the looming collapse of the ecosystem. Can we afford the luxury of life goes on, put another prawn on the barbie, jeez I’m concerned about global warming, another beer?

  26. New England Cocky

    @GG: Yes. Yes. NO. Tony Windsor former INDEPENDENT for Tamworth then New England was the best representative these electorates had after David Drummond retired in 1961.

  27. John Boyd

    Kaye Lee…to use Mr M’s phraseology, ‘how inappropriate is that??’…calling the commissioner, that is.

    And Pappinbara…dogs believe in miracles…they just stare at the door, and …it opens!

  28. Grumpy Geezer


    To have a cocky on side is very pleasing, to have one from New England is even more so.

    If you bump into Beetrooter in the pub (odds on) please tell him from me to go and get a big black one up him.

    To those who’ve posted complimentary comments – thank you. I enjoy sledging Tories even more as a result.

  29. New England Cocky

    AW shucks GG, you can’t have all the fun sledging Tories. Some of us have been trying to keep the bastards honest for decades … with very little success.

    As for Barnyard Beetrooter, he has the morals of an alley cat, the guile of a sewer rat and does not like being told the truth about himself.

  30. Michael Taylor

    Bit harsh on sewer rats, NEC. 😉

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