Before I reveal the Liberal’s election strategy and slogan, I’d better explain about the camel.
From time to time, I do the Saturday quiz in “The Age” on my iPad and while I don’t always know the answer, sometimes I know I don’t know and other times I feel that I can have an educated guess. So, when the quiz asked me how long a rider had to stay on the bull in order to get a score, I guessed four seconds and I was rather keen to check to see if I were right.
However, when I tapped the answer I was rather surprised to discover that the answer was, in fact, “A camel”.
Yes, I quickly decided that someone had made a mistake and put in the wrong answer. Ok, this may make me sound like a Liberal politician when an expert gives an answer that they don’t like on a topic like climate change, but I’m pretty sure that the answer was not “A camel” if only because camels are not usually used as a measure of time.
Although I can picture Josh Frydenbeg trying to argue that it was, if Scottie had given that as an answer.
“Well, of course a camel is a measure of time in some places!”
How long is a camel?
“How long? It’s half two camels, and a quarter of four camels.”
On 7:30 last night, Josh tried valiantly to claim that the banking mess was Labor’s fault for not doing something when they were in office. When he was stopped from doing that by Leigh Sales, he switched to “I’m not looking to the past, I’m looking to the future” before launching into a recap of what they’d done in the past.
He then went on to tell us that while he agreed that boards and senior management had been very naughty in the past, it was up to boards and the shareholders to decide if “heads should roll” in the future. Mm, if Josh had been around at the time of the Fitzgerald inquiry into police corruption in Queensland, I guess he would have told us that it was ultimately up to Joh and Terry Lewis to decide what action should be taken.
Will ASIC be abolished and replaced due to its reluctance to litigate? Nah, we’ll just give a new head, and give them more powers and more resources and we’ll put in place someone to watch what the regulator is doing. I guess there’s a job for Amanda Vanstone or some retiring Liberal politician.
We were told that the Liberals inherited an economy where debt was rising, but they’ve turned that around. They inherited a debt of less than $300 billion which they’ve managed to double but apparently they’ve turned it around. They haven’t started paying anything back, but that’s not the issue. What is? Well, the answer to that is simple. It’s a camel.
Yes, the slogan for the Liberals in the coming election according to someone who knows won’t be “Have a go and get a go”. Neither wil it be “Trust us, we fixed the economy, we fixed the banks and now we’re going to fix you right up.” No, apparently, they’re going to try the stability line. This might seem rather surprising given their leadership changes and the number of ministers heading for the exits while there’s still time for them to be appointed to a government job, but they’re going to give it a try.
The slogan will be: “Stable hands for a stable economy”.
Mind you, this may have to change when they realise that stable hands are the ones who have to muck out the stalls and deal with shit all day!
While some past strategies have relied on a dog whistle to racists, or appeals to the hip pocket nerve, in this election campaign the Liberals will be targeting the gullible, believing that’s the place where they’re most likely to pick up votes.
In fact, it’s probably the only place they’ll pick up votes.
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