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Bye bye, Mathias. Is Spud next?

By Grumpy Geezer  

Senator Mathias Pubert Cormann has chucked his car keys into the trifle and announced his pending retirement from politics after 7 continuous years of rogering the country as Grand Fubar of Finance.

Pubert’s track record includes doubling all debt accumulated by all governments since 1854, while:

“Through the past six years of the global recovery Australia has tumbled from near the top of OECD rankings to among the losers on unemployment, underemployment, wages growth, productivity, income per person, median wealth, retail sales, infrastructure development, interest rates and the value of the Aussie dollar.”

Apart from innumeracy Cormann’s other skill is said to be that of Senate looney-whisperer – surrendering any pretence of ethics by horse-trading with broomstick pilot Pauline Hanson and her strap-on Malcolm The Dwarf Tosser Roberts.

Despite, or perhaps because of his appalling record, his shifty deals and his Hayekian world view Pubert is held in high regard by the Tories which says much about the lack of principles and depth of talent in the Liberal Party wading pool. The net result is that Cormann’s departure is a plus for the country and it has animated the pundits with speculation on a reshuffle.

It has been conjectured that Spud Dutton, Pubert’s best bro and his co-conspirator in the shivving of Truffles Turnbull, is to be removed from despot depot at Home Affairs and its beloved ranks of dark-uniformed goons and door-breakers and shunted to Defence.

The prospect of Aldo Fitler being handed the keys to the ADF barracks, munitions stores and troop carriers is a nightmare of Trumpian proportions. Yet those in the know suggest that the Defence portfolio is a departure lounge for pollies on the outer, and Spud is not one of Smirko’s favourite people.

“Scott didn’t trust Dutton at all and regarded him as deficient in all respects – character, intellect and political nous.” Malcolm Turnbull – A Bigger Picture.

The sentiments are apparently returned:

“Of course, if Mathias had a poor opinion of Scott, Dutton’s dislike of him was even stronger.” Also from Malcolm’s book,

Agreeing with any of Spud’s opinions is a bit like enjoying the same picnic spots as Ivan Milat. Spud’s the type who’d buy his kids a 15 year old cat for Christmas so he wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of abandoning it by Easter, his personality attracts cadaver dogs from afar and he picked up his inter-personal skills at an abattoir.

However, Spud’s dislike of Smirko is rational, if lacking in self-awareness. They both revel in the mistreatment of the 2 Biloela kiddies locked away in the Kinderlager on Christmas Island and the demonising of minorities. They’re both authoritarian bullies and cowards who hate scrutiny and accountability. Their mutual loathing is understandable; it’s as if each sees his own reflection in the other and seeks to deny the reality of their own awfulness by projecting it onto the other.

The departure of Cormann and possible sidelining of Dutton in a reshuffle would be welcome news should there be any capable, principled alternatives to take their places – keeping in mind that the Reprehensibles rule in the squalid kakocracy of Tory politics.

Where in the L/NP effluvium are the curious minds, the talented, the ethical or those who see politics as serving the public interests rather than their own? Where are the idealists rather than the ideologues, the creatives vs the creationists, the thinkers not the cultists, dogmatists and evangelicals?

Trust in the government is essential to a healthy democracy, it’s not just an option where spin is a suitable substitute for truth. In a crisis it is indispensable yet Morrison sees it as a PR opportunity. Cormann may be going and Dutton may be headed for the wood-chipper but we are stuck with the opportunistic Morrison and his fellow cultists, disaster capitalists, grifters and incompetents.

Cartoon by Alan Moir (moir.com.au)

Tories and pandemics

Tim Smith, Tory member for the Victorian state seat of Kew, a man of bovine intellect and the presence of a lasagne thrown from a speeding car has been desperately trying to raise his profile, in true Tory style, by politicising the pandemic.

Smith’s great-grandfather founded Ferguson’s Cakes in 1901. The family sold their shares in the business but Timmy seems to have retained some familial fondness for confectionery – this once dedicated rower’s spreading deportment suggests he may have simply served as skiff ballast.

During his tenure as MP Dim Tim has overseen two consecutive 5% swings against the Libs in what was a blue-ribbon Tory enclave.

While Premier Dan Andrews slogs his guts out and Bill Shorten volunteers his labour on the front lines Albo-style this douchebaguette tweets his bile and hypocrisy and Smirko, again using “Jen and the girls” as human shields takes time out to go to the footy. We have a crisis and Smirko continues to screw Australia. Daggy style.

Image from Twitter (via @jodilee_7)

This article was originally published on the Grumpy Geezer.

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18 comments

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  1. Jack Cade

    I don’t know why Corman has decided to pull the pin. I doubt it’s because he helped assassinate Turnbull – Shallow Mal did it himself. And although Corman is considered ‘damaged goods’, who isn’t in the Coalition?

  2. John Boyd

    Something funny going on. Maybe they are seeing what is happening to Trump, and consulting the tea leaves.

  3. pierre wilkinson

    0h let it be true that the cormanegger will retire – announced 6 months early as a deflection against yet another government farkup, and also let the Grumpy one be correct in his prophecy that herr dutton will be downsized at the same time – a win for the Australian public from a government that couldn’t chose a winner in a one horse race

  4. Andreas

    Man, Grumpy, what a cracker!

  5. New England Cocky

    Geez GG, You must never underestimate the ability of the Liarbral Nazional$ to consider garbage as petite de fois gras, or dumbf*ckery as thoughtful policy development. It is hard enough for COALition MPs to spell those words, let alone know their meanings.

  6. Terence Mills

    The word is that Cormann wants the top job at the OECD in Paris !

  7. John Boyd

    Terence: That sounds right! It had to be something more than ‘spend more time with the family’….Does Australia have the clout to gift him that job? Given our economic performance over the years that he was finance minister, one would wonder!

  8. Carol Taylor

    Jack Cade, good point, exactly why is Cormann waving bye-byes. What sort of MSM do we have that let’s a bucket load of speculation float on by? Surely even mildly such as, doesn’t get along with Scotty or as a Dutton supporter he knows that Spud’s time has been and gone. Perhaps speculation that Morrison is looking to a more family friendly attitude towards detention. Something/anything. But not so Scotty remains protected from all scrutiny. And on that note Fairfax didn’t even provide a photo of Scotty goes to the footy – not a mention.

  9. Kaye Lee

    “Mathias regarded Scott as emotional, narcissistic and untrustworthy and told me so regularly,” Mr Turnbull wrote.

    “Of course, if Mathias had a poor opinion of Scott, (Peter) Dutton’s dislike of him was even stronger,” he says.

    According to his book, Mr Turnbull and Senator Cormann were at times “at our wits’ end as to how to manage Scott” and that the Finance Minister said the government had “a treasurer problem”.

    In one exchange of messages between the pair, he wrote that Senator Cormann replied: “[Morrison] operates completely differently from us. We prefer to stay absolutely resolute on course until we decide to change. He wants to flag possible changes way in advance (why?) which reduces optionality and makes us look undecided. I can’t work it out because it’s so counter productive.”

  10. leefe

    “Mathias regarded Scott as emotional, narcissistic and untrustworthy and told me so regularly,” Mr Turnbull wrote.
    “Of course, if Mathias had a poor opinion of Scott, (Peter) Dutton’s dislike of him was even stronger,” he says.

    “Scott didn’t trust Dutton at all and regarded him as deficient in all respects – character, intellect and political nous.” Malcolm Turnbull – A Bigger Picture.”

    The sheer irony of Scummo considering someone else to be deficient in intellect and character . . . my gob couldn’t be any more smacked.

  11. Cool Pete

    The greatest sight in Western Australia, if not Australia, would be Matthias Cormann walking out of Federal politics with Mickey Poo Eyes under his left arm and Spud Rotten under his right!
    Tim Smith, as a rower, if his farts were as powerful as his political tactics, wouldn’t cause a 60 pound coxswain to cover his nose.

  12. Terence Mills

    “Scott didn’t trust Dutton at all and regarded him as deficient in all respects – character, intellect and political nous.” Malcolm Turnbull – A Bigger Picture.”

    A very astute assessment of Spud !

  13. Jack Cade

    Dutton would be tempted by being offered the job of AFP Supremo. It would unleash his undoubted sadism. A truly nasty piece of work. An adornment to Queensland exceptionalism .

  14. Max Gross

    So CONmann just slips off into the sunset unscathed. They always get away with it! Sickening.

  15. wam

    Cormann has 5 houses 4 in WA and the other in canberra and is estimated to be worth up to $5m but was estimated at $1m 2018
    (dutton a retired copper is worth $5m so cormann caught up). The strain of politics is not worth the extra few thousand above his pension and if scummo sacks him his pay will probably be less than his pension so announce his going and challenge scummo to sack him.
    ps Kaye,
    Wasn’t gillard great and she gave scummo a bouquet???

  16. Jack Cade

    One Coalition MP (senator) has or had over 40 investment properties, almost all negatively geared.
    Enriching yourself while being an MP is only a fairly recent thing. Even Menzies the ace draft dodger didn’t do it. But all sides do, now.
    That’s the sort of chancers the game of politics attracts.

  17. Terence Mills

    Gillard was very good on Q&A and, as she’s done before, she faced the questions and provided answers.

    For balance [something the ABC are obliged to do but Sky will never ever do] , the ABC will probably have to invite Tony Abbott on Q&A but it is unlikely that he would accept the invitation : he couldn’t stand the grilling – perhaps they will invite Turnbull for a leather jacket cameo.

  18. Phil

    One Coalition MP (senator) has or had over 40 investment properties, almost all negatively geared.
    Enriching yourself while being an MP is only a fairly recent thing. Even Menzies the ace draft dodger didn’t do it. But all sides do, now.

    Brian Burke the X disgraced Premier of WA is said to own 40 suburban homes. His on going influence in the Labor party in WA was just another reason I resigned.

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