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“Blowing Smoke Up Your Arse”

A factual archive as true today as in the middle of the 18th century to explain the state of science, scientific enquiry and dogma through the minds of some of our most bogan political, public, corporate and academic institutions.

This is a colonial period ‘Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit’ from the 1750s. It was used to blow tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum to resuscitate drowning victims. Doubts about its credibility led to the popular phrase ‘blowing smoke up your arse’.

Tobacco resuscitation kits consisting of a pair of bellows and a tube were provided by the Royal Humane Society of London and placed at various points along the Thames. European physicians furthermore employed these enemas for a range of ailments.

Tobacco was believed by Europeans to be medicinal soon after it was first imported from the New World, and tobacco smoke was used by western medical practitioners as a tool against cold and drowsiness. During the early 19th century, the practice fell into decline, when it was discovered that the principal active agent in tobacco smoke, nicotine, was poisonous and much later carcinogenic.

It is not clearly understood how one breathes through one’s rectum, but we do know the rectum is a primary organ for the absorption of nutrients and anything else it is capable of collecting subject to the knowledge and desires of its host.

This tool is still used by Politicians and Ministers, the Liberals, the Nationals, our Prime Minister and his mates, the Federal Government, the Australian Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA), Commonwealth chief medical advisers and most of the mainstream media oligopoly in Australia – News Corp, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, most of the commercial TV channels and even by a few universities including UniSA, University of Adelaide, UNSW and UTS. Even the AMA found a use for it recently.

So if you want to try out your skills of resuscitation on the Australian population, have a go, the institutions, authorities and experts above seem to get a great deal of enjoyment, satisfaction and profit out of it.

It is probably as true to say, what you see, hear and eat may be just as toxic as what comes out the other end, not just what you blow into it, whichever end you want to treat or in between. Beware of many things, but if you don’t want to die from drowning in a sea of government and corporate misinformation, data and devices, it may not be a good idea to invest in one of these or donate it to your local surf lifesaving club.

Beware of your information choice and sources, the distance between promotional advertising and propaganda is shorter than between the mouth and bowel. Science is a complex animal and social intelligence is never guaranteed, we are far more easily manipulated before we even open our mouths or start to think.

Surprising in this day and age don’t you think, more than 250 years later – what science and history can teach us!

Once you’ve mastered this one, keep an eye out for the next instalment on the phrase, ‘Big bag of wind’.

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  1. Mr Shevill Mathers

    Interesting article. I do in fact have a copy of a first aid article from a factory machinists handbook, which describes this as a first aid technique following any situation where the patient has stopped breathing, such as drowning, electrocution etc. in the work place.If this fails to revive the patient, then vigorously stretching the anal sphincter is recommended. I am pleased that we have moved on somewhat from those times of ‘first aid’-no way would a modern day paramedic risk either of these techniques, given the serious risk of personal injurie/s should the ‘patient’ recover and be aware of the stimulation. However, polititicians continue blowing smoke regardless.

  2. GL

    I wondered why almost all the LNP have lips shaped partially like a bellows. Thanks for clearing that up Jon.

  3. David Stakes

    Strange that most of our voting population is not blowing smoke from their arse, the amount that gets blown up it.

  4. Phil Pryor

    Blowing an arse up in smoke sounds better, and a few media and political figures loom as candidates. Imagine the justice to millions in having a few horrible, greedy, selfcentred, damaging operatives, controllers, oppressors, deviates, slave drivers, going vaporous…

  5. Canguro

    Given the religious bent of the incumbent chief smoke blower up other peoples’ arses, one dares to presume that he’s not opposed to a literal interpretation of the well-known injunction; ‘‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Jesus, naturally enough, went a step or two further in response, but given our man in the big house is a literalist, let’s assume for the moment he’s satisfied with the simpler version.

    It follows that if natural justice were to be administered, that he, too, would be in line for a stretching of the anal sphincter, given that that’s often a sideline to justice served and punishment adminstered, based on the numbers of people he’s seen happy to be locked up in his tenure as a public servant and the roles he’s played that have brought misery and suffering to those interned in the hellholes of Manus, Christmas Island & Nauru.

    Sweet schadenfreude, that it should come to pass. I live in hope.

  6. Harry Lime

    The Liar and his cronies have made an art form of blowing smoke up peoples arses,and the fact that they are in government is evidence that it works, at least to some extent.Given recent comments by the charmless Dutton and the serial idiot Caravan,we can also expect to see the increasing use of the word ‘woke’ in their campaign ARSEnal of divide and rule.The methods used by dictatorial ARSEHOLES hasn’t changed for centuries.Re JL’s previous article on manipulation…are we being manipulated?…You can bet your ARSE.

  7. New England Cocky

    Why Jon Chesterson, this is exactly what the Scummo Liarbral Nazional$ COALition misgovernment needs at the moment ….. a step back into the 18th century to drive Australia under the whip of foreign owned multinational corporations. Sounds just like the English trading corporations in India and SE Asia during the 18th century, such a ”wonderful” model for a progressive country like Australia.

  8. Jon Chesterson

    New England Cocky – Ha ha, Australia was never toilet trained from colonial infancy. LNP Federal and NSW State governments still in nappies 223 years later, codependent on the corporate private sector and USA; and chronically constipated and corrupted with toxic bowel cancer, delusional psychotic disorder and dementia, and christ it smells! And the head team wants to go to war with China and on itself, dividing its people in such a foul disordered state. Whichever way you look at it, our government, our political system and breed, the LNP crown are terminally ill.

  9. wam

    The politically incorrect joke where the Irishman was told to blow up the bus and he burnt his lips? Blowing smoke up an arse is a shock that may trigger a reaction? Perhaps our pollies may err and suck. That would cause a reaction?

  10. Terence Mills

    Watching a documentary on the Kellogg brothers and how they invented the process to develop what we now know as the cornflake (and ricebubble).

    They also invented yoghurt enemas !

    Fortunately only the cereals caught on.

  11. Jon Chesterson

    Terence – Could give rise to a new more sanitised, sexually less explicit euphemism and pleasing means of expression, ‘cornflakes up your arse’, instead of the over rated and over used dead cliche ‘get fucked’. Oh I know that is so politically incorrect but very little beats the abusive phrase and use it replaces.

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