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Bill Shorten Taking Orders From The Unions One Week; Betraying Them By Being Friends With Billionaires The Next!

Ok, I was confused enough when Pauline Hanson said that people didn’t see her as a career politician, while pointing out that she’d be around the political scene for over twenty years. I guess maybe she meant that her capacity for picking candidates who self-destruct saved her from being one, in much the same way as my inability to play a musical instrument means that people don’t consider me a rock star. Mind you, I haven’t spent to last twenty years trying to have a number one hit!

Now I don’t want to defend Bill Shorten here. There are many things about the man that I dislike. For a start, Shorten is clearly unfit to be PM because he has ill-fitting, cheap suits and bad breath. As for his hair…

Oh, you don’t think that his personal qualities are all that relevant in a debate about changes to Family Tax Benefits and Childcare and Buses (I don’t quite understand but they keep talking about the Omnibus Bill)! Well, I guess that you would say that. From comments on this site, it’s clear a lot of you don’t understand that unless we make savings we won’t be able to afford the subsidies to new, clean coal power stations and the $40,000,000,000 in tax cuts to companies.

Now I know that some of you may have been confused by Malcolm’s tirade in the last couple of days. Just last week we were told that Bill was beholden to the unions, that he was their captive because they made donations. This week, however, he’s betrayed the unions because he’s a sycophant who is friendly with billionaires. While John Howard preached that there was nothing wrong with being aspirational, Turnbull thinks that his opponent is a “social climber”. You know what a social climber is, right? It’s someone who doesn’t know their place.

So I’m a bit confused about what a Labor leader is actually meant to do. If they buddy up with union members, they’re lack the understanding that it’s business that provide all the jobs in this country, but if they’re sociable with bosses, then they’re traitors to their class.

Yesterday Turnbull confused many other people when he told the House: “They call themselves the Labor Party. Well, Mr Speaker, manual labour is a Mexican bandit as far as they’re concerned. Most of them have never done a day’s work in their lives.” Now, I do remember a joke that about someone thinking that Manual Labor was a Mexican tennis player, the joke of course being a play on Rod Laver’s name. I suspect that in the heat of the moment, Mr Turnbull just got himself a bit confused… Like when he said that he supported action on climate change.

But today, Turnbull once again defended the actions of his government in the way that great Liberal leaders always do. He attacked the Labor leader again. There is so much to praise in their current Bill that it’s impossible to pick, so let’s talk about the other Bill.

Turnbull told us that he couldn’t be bought by anyone and not just because nobody wanted him. He then added, “I don’t suck up to billionaires, I look them in the eye and when I need to take them on.”

While I find that last comment even more confusing than his Mexican bandit comment, I think the point he’s making is that he’s much more comfortable standing up to billionaires and saying things like, “No, I’m happy to provide you with an interest free billion dollar loan for your coal plant, but I’m not shining your shoes, we have Christopher Pyne for that”, than he is standing up to the right wing in his party and telling them that he might allow a free vote on marriage equality because isn’t it part of Liberal philosophy that everyone’s free to vote with their conscience at all times?

Anyway, he’s inspired me. Enough with this politics of envy. We know that when people complain about healthcare costs they’re just jealous that they’re not doctors. And enough with political correctness. Enough with affirmative action. Let’s get rid of racial discrimination boards and soup kitchens and disabled parking. Let’s take our lead from Malcolm and stand up to billionaires, but not about penalty rates which is what forces them to send their profits to the Cayman Islands.

Yes, Malcolm. Let’s stand up and be counted. I’m beginning to think that you’re right. Perhaps Bill is the problem. Perhaps it would be a good idea to change leaders! Would you like to see that, Mr Turnbull? Would you like Labor to take you at your word and replace him with Tanya or Jason or Mark?

What’s that? Bill isn’t so bad, you say? Oh, you just don’t think that the country benefits from changes of leadership?

Yep, Tony said that he’d sell anything except his arse to become PM, Malcolm made no exceptions!


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  1. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    If an alien arrived in her spaceship tonight, it would be hard to explain Malcolm Muck’s alleged championship of the Australian People against that fiend Bill Shorten especially since his own status is dubious in terms of the company he keeps and his dodgy Caymen Islands tax haven choice.

  2. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh. I notice that the Murdoch rags are crowing over what a magnificent slap-down Turnbull delivered to Shorten. One of the great slap-downs in the history of Australian politics, no less.

  3. guest

    The Murdoch rags will barrack for anyone and anything which looks like it wears the Murdoch colours. No matter how rancid they really are.

    Just look at the way they promote even Trump as the saviour of the world.

    Turnbull merely showed us what a jumped-up silver-tail he is. As for “social-climbing sycophant” or “parasite” … well, what can one say?

  4. wam

    hahaha a great read, Rossleigh!!!!
    The rabbott thought about selling his arse but he thought his arse was his elbow and consequently failed the ‘windschott’ test of english comprehension.

  5. Matters Not

    While there’s been some ‘play on words’ re the Turnbull name, one that seems to have escaped media possibility is the word ‘trumbrel’ or ‘trumbril’ if you like. ‘Trumbrels’ were used in the French Revolution to transport prisoners from their confinements to the guillotine.

    When not so employed. they were used to transport manure, and like products. They had the advantage of easy ‘dumping’.

    1. one of the carts used during the French Revolution to convey victims to the guillotine.

    2. a farmer’s cart, especially one for hauling manure, that can be tilted to discharge its load.

    Recent evidence suggests that Malcolm is a modern day ‘trumbrel’.

  6. Carol Taylor

    I think that the difference here is that Malcolm would never ever be friendly to the working class…use them as a backdrop for a selfie yes, friends no.

  7. Ella Miller

    Out of the chaos that is behind the LNP and is ahead of the LNP, Malcolm TRIES to create order…not for us but his back bench.
    Managing Cory, a fail.
    The TROJAN HORSE of a child care bill , a fail.
    Looking ahead, same sex debate, a fail
    privatisation of energy , a fail

    One or two sliver spoon in mouth speeches may amuse the small minded like Barnaby, may be a comic relief for the back bench ….BUT
    the needs of a nation go beyond all this froth and bubble.
    So Malcolm…BALDERDASH.

  8. Kyran

    “Now I know that some of you may have been confused by Malcolm’s tirade in the last couple of days.”
    Not at all, Mr Brisbane. One of talcum’s alleged billionaire mates is having his very own problems with Mexicans. I say ‘alleged’ as, with regard to his mates billionaire status, there seems to be ample evidence of various bankruptcies but no evidence furnished as to his actual financial status. And ‘alleged’ is entirely appropriate in describing his mate as a mate. Apparently there was this phone call that didn’t go to well with his ‘mate’. Our talcum didn’t suck up to that alleged billionaire, no sirrreee, no way. Talcum told him exactly what was what.
    Ok, it was a phone call, so he couldn’t look him in the eye when he gave him ‘what for’.
    Thank you, Mr Brisbane. Take care

  9. helvityni

    What a joke; I thought that we were all equal, Oz is supposed to be an egalitarian country.

    Now Mal is giving us a lesson: we are meant to feel class envy.

    Sorry mate, like Shorten ( in a crumpled suit), I pity you…

  10. win jeavons

    When do the adults get in charge?

  11. Max Gross

    “Tony said that he’d sell anything except his arse to become PM, Malcolm made no exceptions!” Gold! Gold! Gold!

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