Monday, 21st June.
You’d think Ben-Roberts-Smith-VC-Kerry-Stokes-Employee’s admission that he drank out of a replica of a prosthetic leg and not an actual prosthetic leg to the best of his recollection, would be the most absurd thing that you’d hear all day. As an admission in order to make one sound more reasonable, it’s right up there with, “No, this is not a photo of me in a compromising position with Donald Trump… It’s something I photoshopped to make it look like we were having intimate relations because I love the man and I didn’t realise people would see it when I used it as my profile pic on Facebook…”
Anyway, that was not the strangest thing that happened today.
The Nationals have decided that rather than stick with Michael McWhatisName, they’d go back to the Big Bananaby. Why? Well, it seemed to them that he was the best person for the job because – and I want you to stop for a long time and consider this – he was not only what the Nationals saw as a better person for the job than Elvis McCormack, but they couldn’t find anyone in their ranks who was more competent than either of them.
Whatever, I look forward to the future when the Nationals decide that, just as the name the Country Party was too limiting, they forge ahead and decide to call themselves the Multinationals because who gives a fuck about Australia… Before I’m picked up on this, I will say that their new leader certainly gives one and that’s why they’ve installed him…
When I say that he gives a fuck, I mean about the country, just in case there’s a bit of confusion and those trigger happy litigators in Parliament try to sue. Barnaby is one man who wants to leave the country a better place for his children. A country where they’ll be able to get jobs, because, heaven knows, he certainly won’t be able to support that many children no matter how big his super grows with the Deputy PM promotion or how much he gets paid for interviews about how terribly intrusive it is to have the media around all the time.
Perhaps the most interesting point about the return of Barnaby Joyce to the role of Deputy PM isn’t related to the discovery that at least one Coalition person can actually accurately count numbers. No, for me, it was the fact that the commentary was all about how there were whispers of a spill but the Canberra Bubbling Journalists were all telling us that it mightn’t happen and, even if it did, Joyce didn’t have the votes to succeed.
Ok, I have something that we need to break to these people very gently. It’s entirely possible that those backgrounding you have no idea what’s actually going on either but once they admit that, you won’t buy them dinner on your expense account. Of course, it’s also possible that they may know and still be prepared to lie. I know these things are terribly obvious, but so many of the guests on Insiders don’t seem to have noticed.
Perhaps, David Speers could have me as a guest and I could make stuff up and, even though it would often be wrong, at least it would be more interesting than his regular guests… and more plausible than Sky After Dark.
Mm, would a Rossleigh on Insiders hashtag work? Or should I just go on Hard Quiz and have as my special subject, “Things that we all know but journalists tell us we’re wrong about and then we’re proven right but they’re the ones that keep getting media time.”
So, will Scotty go to the election in October as he’s planned or will Barnaby’s ascension mean that he delays it? Or will he suddenly think that he better go next week?
I’ll put my money on October still…
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Trust ye not the L/NP party in any of its mysterious webs and in its amoebic forms.
Winter solstice, shortest day & longest night. Plenty of time this evening for the Baaaarnabee to celebrate his success within the bosom of his latest true love and between the sheets, snuggled up against the winter chill whilst quaffing a few too many reds amid munching on a medium-rare plate-sized chunk of Black Angus (and avoiding any thoughts of how the said beastie might feel about its sad fate of merely becoming a source of desirable protein for a resurrected adulterer, sexual harasser and destructive home-wrecker/heart-breaker), and gloat about his ascension over the anthropological Riverina relic, Mundane Man.
Mind you, in his own way, Re-Joyce is also a form of Mundane Man, more shoutie than the southern version but still inclined towards the favoured philosophical principles as demonstrated by his predecessor; the Ostrich Approach, the Luddite angle, the Us vs Them dyad in whatever protean form fits the moment… city v country, real men v shirt-lifting city wankers, coal munchers v vegans and other soft-headed losers, real Aussies v everyone who lives in a capital city and so on.
Fun times ahead, folks. Expect tears & disappointment.
The Nats have gone from a one brain cell leader back to the return of a no brain cell beetroot. Oh, the joy. Let the bells of happiness ring out. Oh crap!
I think MicMac was happy to go!
Just think he was stuck between Marketing Man with his team of zombies and his own feral herd is Delta Double Minus Bogans.
The world, but not all of Australia, knows that we have a bowel for a skull in leadership, with no flows of intellect, honesty, balance, decency, merely the extruded rubbishy leavings of a Joyce…
Re-Joyce for the Nationals have Little to be Proud of, with their leadership choices today.
Still could have been worse !
Imagine if it had been Matt Canavan and the member for Manila, George Christiansen !
Ah, …. the depth of talent in the National Party is inexhaustible !
Interesting how a short time ago it was expected that an election would be held, Lachlan Murdoch returned to Australia, NewsCorp attempting to nobble/dog whistle Labor state governments’ Covid responses, under pressure ABC becoming anodyne e.g. avoid climate science, carbon emissions etc. (think for balance AKA 4Corners on QAnon, hence, Q&A this week presented an audience of angry Victorian small business people to complain about ‘Danistan’ as NSW cases started to lift..), and now Joyce returns as Deputy PM to help a limping LNP govt.
Herein lies the issue and new ‘architecture’ of Australian politics, media and lobbying when the National Party no longer supports farmers, but focus on national cultural issues and climate science denial, being indispensable to the Libs for coalition govt., while becoming like the Koch ‘bill mill’ ALEC, but even better than ALEC, why?
Corporate supported (fossil fuels etc.) ALEC, needs to lobby from the outside of government to access reps (state legislatures are the target in the US), but the NP is even better as they are part of the govt., i.e. already on the ‘inside’ to pass and/or block legislation.
Of course one is not alleging that all MPs are accessible to promote niche policies and bills, or not, but they are part of the ‘architecture of influence’ that seems to bypass much of the electorate?
Morrison had evidently misled the G7 about his non-commitment to net zero by 2050. In a joint news conference British Prime Minister Boris Johnson put Scott Morrison on the spot when he told the assembled journalists that the Australian PM had “declared for net zero by 2050”.
When Johnson made the statement a journalist interjected to point out Morrison’s policy was to get to net zero “preferably” by 2050.
The Nationals were obviously alert to this faux pas and have now declared, by appointing Joyce as their leader, we will not support a cleaner, healthier planet under any circumstances they made it abundantly clear that any concessions on maintaining the planet as a safe habitat for humans would be over their dead bodies…………………………they may get that wish.
Wot?
The grub from the scrub?
Aye, there’s the rub!
If the answer was Barnaby, clearly the wrong question was being asked. If the question was, how best and how quickly can the Nationals demonstrate their irrelevance, then Barnaby is the correct answer. Others more qualified than I, have enumerated the groups who would prefer to see the arse-end of Joyce, yet 11 cretins think he’s the real deal, or at least the realest deal in a shallow gene pool. I can’t wait to see what happens.
Bananababy “learning” from all his mistakes is in the same league as Caveman Kelly admitting that climate change is fact.
The NT news headline is Joyce to jet in for Sam. Our clp senator, a vet, is under preselection threat.
The image of barnaby’s head in a bucket is hilarious.