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Abbott and Putin Conversation – Exclusive Transcript (Alleged)!

“One of the points I tried to make to Putin is that Russia would be so much more attractive if it was aspiring to be a superpower for peace and freedom and prosperity, if it was trying to be a superpower for ideas and for values, instead of trying to recreate the lost glories of tsarism or the old Soviet Union.”

Tony Abbott 14/11/2014

After Abbott told us that he told Putin that Russia should stop reliving its glory days, I thought that I should write something about it.

Luckily, a source just sent this to me. It is alleged to be the transcript of the Abbott/Putin meeting in China. I report it not out of concern not for the truth but in the hope that it boosts my profile because, after all, isn’t that what the media is all about. I’m tempted say Kim Kardashian not because she’s relevant but just so that I can add her name to the TAGS. Anyway, to the alleged conversation:

Inaudible pleasantries followed by the two leaders sitting down with an interpreter.

Abbott: It’s good to meet you face to face so that I can express Australia’s concern about you taking Russian down a socialist path.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Tell him that there are stains on his trousers.

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: Sorry, I didn’t quite follow that. Is it some sort of Russian saying? Anyway, can you tell Mr Putin that I’m very happy to have this chance to put Australia’s concerns to him personally.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Tell him that I couldn’t care less and I’m only here so that we can photo me with him for Pravda with the heading: “This Is Why Capitalism Doesn’t Work”!

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: I see. Can you ask Mr Putin what he means by that? And also tell him that Australia is very unhappy that he shot down the plane. Well, not him personally, but we know it was the Russians because you people are like that. And we really wish that you’d just know your place and then we could all go back to the days when Britannia ruled the waves and the world was a much better place.

Interpreter translates.

Putin (to interpreter): Ask the little pissant what his name is!

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: Tony Abbott.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Ask him why I’m meeting him.

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: I’m Prime Minister of Australia.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Ask him where Australia is… No, don’t tell me, I know where it is, you idiot, just ask this disgrace for a human being where Australia is!

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: It’s that country at the bottom of the world. You know, tell him that he’s coming there for the G20.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Ask him if he’s here because he’s the one who’ll be shining my shoes when I’m in Australia.

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: No, no, I’m the Prime Minister! You know, the big man, the important one. I’m like him.

Interpreter translates.

Putin (nods): Say, “Ah, you’re the man who stopped the boats!”

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: Yes, yes. That’s right.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Tell him, “Good luck with that in the next couple of weeks.”

Interpreter translates.

Abbott: Thank Mr Putin for me.

Interpreter translates.

Putin: Tell him that’s all for now, and that I like very shiny shoes.

Inaudible.

 

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18 comments

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  1. Gilly

    Independent observers note that the front of Abbotts pants were dry when he left. I suspect that the conversation was more likely on the relative merits of bike and horse riding.

  2. stephentardrew

    Impeccably source as usual Rossleigh.
    How do you do it?
    So much critical and insightful inside information.
    You are a star.
    I noticed the Aust…, oh hell can’t even say it, didn’t even get the scoop of poop.

  3. keerti

    Bloodstains after receiving a new, enhanced smile!

  4. John FRaser

    <

    Now here's a couple for you Rossleigh :

    British P.M.s speech to Federal parliament :

    "Only last month, your Foreign Minister strode across the room towards me … I wondered for a moment whether I was heading for what I'm told we now need to call a shirt-fronting," he said.

    "But, no, Julie, who is a great friend of Britain, said that Australia would add 100 beds to our Ebola treatment facility in Sierra Leone. Typical Australia, always there with action not words – add 100 beds."

    Translation : The Abbott government copped a kicking here in Australia …… as well as all over the world ….. for 3 weeks before now letting the cat out of the bag that they are a "humanitarian government".

    Who knew the Abbott government was an humanitarian government ?

    And when did Credlin start writing speeches for Britain's P.M. ?

    <

    Abbotts reply speech : "Being born Australian is like winning the lottery"

    English Translation : Abbott was born at the "Lying in Hospital, Lambeth U.K".

    Aussie translation : Abbott hasn't stopped lying since the day he was born, and for christs sake take him back with you when you go.

    <

    I could probably write more …. but I keep having these flashbacks of all the MSM reporting that the High Court has rejected the challenge to newman's VLAD law.

    All across the media its being called a "win" for newman.

    Apparently no one either read or comprehended this piece (although a couple did publish it) :

    "The Court also held that the plaintiff, [Hells Angel member Stefan Kuczborski], lacked the standing to challenge the Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment Act (the VLAD Act) and certain provisions of the Criminal Code and the Bail Act introduced by the Criminal Law (Criminal Organisations Disruption) Amendment Act (the Disruption Act),".

    "lacked the standing to challenge". ?

  5. Rob031

    @Rossleigh: now that post was a hoot. Well done!

    Whatever you or I or the cat may think of Putin I feel safe to say that Tony Abbott has the kick of a mouse in carpet slippers on the world stage. He is cringe worthy non-parallel. In the words of Rumpole he is a smug and self-satisfied bully. A real Sam Bollard QC who makes a couple of thick planks look like a Super-Computer.

    May he keep up the stupid comments till all but the thickest welded-on coalition voters (and perhaps even them) come to appreciate (as in understand) that this person is a blight on the Australian political landscape and must be voted out. Politically keelhauled. Praise be to the barnacles.

    Oh dear. I wish I could come out and say something original about Capt’n Crackers that hasn’t been said before. My hope is that he is not ousted by his party as I wish to see the whole lot of this motley crew turfed out; and for all of the electorate to be more knowingly cautious as to who they vote for in future. I await the Victorian election with an unkindly interest. Perhaps, if it is an absolute disaster for the Coalition, Abbott will go into real panic mode and do or say something even more crazy that he has done so far. The Cain Mutiny comes to mind here.

  6. Ruth Lipscombe

    Rob031
    Your blog was an absolute symphony to my ears.

  7. Lee

    Ha ha ha Pure gold, Rossleigh. The only light relief from The Blunder from Down Under is seeing how he can fall to an even greater depth of stupid with each new day.

  8. Terry2

    Abbott’s constant sniping and rudeness to Putin before the poor bloke even arrives is obnoxious. Can you imagine the way we would react if the shoe were on the other foot and Putin was using an international forum to make rude remarks about our leader (present incumbent excepted) .

  9. mars08

    Rob031:

    … I wish I could come out and say something original about Capt’n Crackers that hasn’t been said before…

    Yes indeed. It’s all been said before. But, sadly, not by enough of our fellow citizens. Abbott and Shorten are neck-and-neck in the “preferred prime minister” polls, despite Abbott’s unrelenting stupidity and demonstrated, shameless duplicity.

    I realise that the preferred prime minister numbers traditionally favour the incumbent… but I can’t help feeling that not enough voters are REALLY paying attention to what this government has been doing…

  10. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    After the G20 and Abbott’s expected clownishness there, it would be good if rabid Abbott, Credlin and their entourage come to Victoria in a vain attempt to support Napthine’s LNP Government for the upcoming election on 29 November.

    This would be the Kiss of Death for ‘unfortunate’ Napthine and the beginning of the end for Abbott.

    (And what a kiss it would be from ‘Ole Drippy, Licky Lips’!)

    Exciting times.

  11. corvusboreus

    Interesting times, no less.
    The only tangible information we have is that Mr Abbott told his translator to tell Mr Putin some things and stuff.
    He aparently offered a political/historical comparative anecdote stating that the US had apologized and made financial recompense for the shooting down of Iranian Air Flight 655. This was a mixture of dubious comparison and outright falsehood.
    The non-combatant IAF 655 was shot down over Iranian territory by official US armed forces, operating under the national flag(no plausible deniability or degrees of separation), killing 290 civilian souls. Indisputably.
    The US government has unwaveringly refused to officially apologise, and only offered financial compensation for the loss of life as a condition of settlement after Iran undertook proceedings in the International Court of Justice.
    Apart from barking part-truths and outright provable falsehoods about a documented historical event for his translator to pass on, Mr Abbott also offered the Russian President some generic platitudinous homilies on how his nation could appear “more attractive” to the ‘rest of the world'(‘your beauty has faded so lose the strut’).
    ‘Our PM’ has neglected to mention anything about the other side of the conversation, but I am sure, if the nuances and subtleties were not lost in the mire of translation, that President Putin was much impressed, moved and persuaded by the words of Anthony Abbott(I/you bet).

  12. Kaye Lee

    I just listened to Tony Abbott addressing the world leaders at the G20 and I am cringing.

    He told them (whilst counting on his fingers) that he has “got rid of the carbon tax, stopped the boats, and started building roads” but that he was having enormous trouble getting the budget back in order. he called on these world leaders to back his deregulation of university fees and his GP co-payment.

    As they scanned around the other leaders, you could hear them thinking “we flew 20 hours to listen to this????”

  13. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I really hope all the G20 world leaders know how much disgust we have for Abbott’s stature as a PM and a person.

    I hope they know we are appalled by his regressive attacks on the environment for his destroying the Carbon Price and by his diabolical lust for building roads at the exclusion of promoting efficient and clean public transport. Same goes for his appalling reluctance to support renewable energies and industries.

    I hope they also know I, for one, am ashamed of his uncompassionate stance against asylum seekers, who desperately seek sanction via boats.

    I also hope they know that he treats vulnerable people on welfare with contempt and he is perfectly happy for them to continue in their downward economic and emotional stress, as they face more LNP-manufactured austerity measures.

    There’s much that I hope the G20 world leaders know about how Abbott is ruining Australia.

  14. Terry2

    I’ve just been reading the Weekend Australian – for my sins – and if you listen to them, the Abbott triumphs and the wonders of the coalition are bigger even than Kim Kardashian’s bum.

    They are even predicting a Napthine win as support for the coalition in Victorian evidently surges.

    But for the ABC it’s all doom & gloom according to lengthy articles by Janet Albrechtsen and Chris Kenny
    after the ABC aired that skit on 7.30 about Abbott v Putin – ‘showdown of the century’. It seems there is no room for humour in the brave new world that the Abbott government have delivered to us : and satire is dead.

    Albrechtsen has even vowed to boycott appearances on the ABC’s Q&A on Monday nights (along with Miranda Devine and Tom Switzer) as they evidently consider the program ” routinely pours scorn on the views and values of a large slice of Australia”.
    Seriously ? Are we watching the same Q&A ?

    The man who said ‘no cuts to the ABC or SBS’ must have had a reminder call from his mentor in the US : “destroy public broadcasting in Australia or I will destroy you.”

  15. Rob031

    Kaye Lee said: “I just listened to Tony Abbott addressing the world leaders at the G20 and I am cringing.

    I’m watching it now on ABC 24 news. The camera scan revealed an intense interest in what Abbott is saying. Riveting stuff. Turgid Tony in action.

    It now sounds like he is pleading for sympathy. “Please try to understand our lack of genuine climate-change action in terms of the terrible things that are happening to me because of my courageous attempts to fix the debt and deficit disaster.” Bet that goes over like a bowl full of cold porridge – especially with Obama. He is behaving like a little child seeking forgiveness from the grownups and, of course, from the electorate. He is such a sad little man.

  16. mark delmege

    I still think Tony Abbott looks like somesort of Dick Tracy cartoon wannabee

  17. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I also hope Albrechtsen, Kenny, Devine and Switzer are all reading our lustrous comments about Abbott’s and the LNP Degenerates for their abominable failures in government.

    I enjoy every bit of the scornful rage it would be causing them.

  18. daz schorn

    The Melbourne rag MX reported that the Russian Armada was here “in case it had to do CLIMATE CHANGE research in the Antarctic”

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