As we slowly say goodbye to January, there are so many unanswered questions:
- Will Peter Dutton challenge?
- Will the Liberals be able to find a woman prepared to stand in Higgins?
- Will the next Liberal to announce that they won’t be contesting the election be a backbencher or a minister?
- Which will be the first country to say that if we’re going to recognise the opposition leader in Venezuela, then there’s an even bigger case to be made for recognising Bill Shorten as the PM in Australia?
- If a No Confidence Motion is moved on the first sitting day in Parliament, will someone ask if those voting to support the government really have confidence in Scott Morrison or are they just doing it because they were confused?
- Will the government suddenly reverse its policy of not commenting about “On water” matters to announce that they’ve just turned back a boat and the brochures from the people smugglers were clearly stating that a Shorten government will allowing people to drown at sea?
- Will someone point out that drowning at sea is a deterrent to people boarding boats?
- Will someone else ask to see the brochures and, if they are produced, ask why they were written in English and printed by the same company that the Liberals use?
- Will Peter Reith tell us that he has video of himself not saying that children were thrown into the water and his recent Order of Australia is proof that he’s a great guy and that the phonecard thing never happened?
- Will Morrison call off Parliament because it’s full of people who don’t like him and are trying to get rid of him? Or will he hope that these people will be happy to concentrate on attacking the Labor Party?
- Will someone point out that letting John Howard advise the NSW Liberals on campaign strategy is rather ironic giving that he’s the only living PM to lose his seat? It’s rather like taking investment advice from Alan Bond… Ok, you’re right, Alan Bond is dead so that’s potentially less damaging.
- How many days before the Murdoch press run a story about factions in the Labor Party jockeying for positions or leadership tensions threatening to bring Shorten down before the election?
- At what point will someone being interviewed about how Labor’s changes to negative gearing tax concessions will say something like: “We’re not rich, you know. Our income is less than the average wage and this will mean that we have to sell three or four of our investment properties just to keep our kids at Scotch and PLC!”
- Will someone playing drinking Bingo during the Liberal election launch where they have a drink every time Scott or Josh say, “Labor’s mess” need to be rushed to hospital with alcoholic poisoning after twenty minutes?
- Will Barnaby Joyce announce that people are more important than fish and people don’t need water because they can always drink beer?
- Will the AFP raid the offices of GetUp! and make arrests on the grounds that trying to remove the head of Border Force can be considered treason?
- Will Warren Mundine change parties again after the election? Or before?
- Will the Immigration Minister actually do an interview?
- Will Barnaby Joyce clarify his statement about beer and tell us that one can’t always drink beer and that sometimes it’s inappropriate. Not only that, but ALWAYS drinking beer would leave one incapable of doing one’s job…
- Will Tony Abbott say that he doesn’t take anything for granted, but clearly you couldn’t vote for a woman instead of me after Julia Gillard?
- Will Scott Morrison draw another curry analogy on the grounds that one where he compared the defence forces to a curry went so well?
- Will Michaelia Cash be released from protective custody?
- Are Labor favorites in the betting markets because the Liberals have put so much money on them in the hope of making a killing and having plenty of money for the next election campaign?
- Is Scott Morrison their insurance that the bet will pay off?
- And finally, will The Greens be the Opposition after the election because they have more seats than the Liberals?
Yes, the coming three months will answer some of these questions. Stay tuned.
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