Now, I’ve just had a look at how the Direct Action Carbon Scheme works.
Apparently, companies bid and the one that promises to reduce emissions by the largest amount can access money for doing so at an agreed figure like $20 a tonne.
Luckily, I have a business. Ok, it didn’t actually earn any money last financial year, but that won’t stop me bidding. I think that I’m going to offer to reduce a billion tonnes of emissions.
Well, ok, I haven’t looked that closely and the fact that my business didn’t actually produce any carbon emissions last year may disqualify me from bidding.
I certainly hope not
Because the Abbott Government have assured everyone that failing to meet the targets that you set won’t lead to any penalties means that I don’t really have to worry about my inability to actually reduce emissions should my bid be successful.
And yes, you’re right. This is probably just a way of transfering money from the public purse to people who actually contribute to our society in the form of donations to the Liberal Party. (Except for Joe Hockey. He doesn’t know who contributes to his campaign, and, as his time as Treasurer demonstrates, he has no interest in financial matters!)
Which makes me wonder what the Liberals will actually do when they’ve sold off all the assets and sacked all the public servants and managed to reduce government to the size that they think is appropriate. (Which I believe is slightly less than a one bedroom flat and slighly bigger than a matchbox!) I mean, how will they find ways of moving money from the ordinary person who’s just a leaner – and the Liberals are determined to make everything leaner as part of their austerity measures – to some business or billionaire who’s clearly a lifter.
You know, a lifter. No, no not a shop lifter. That’s something else altogether.
Ok, I’m sure that you can all see the beauty of my plan. In fact, I think that it would be a good idea for me to expand my business. If you want to be part of my expansion, just send your money in a brown paper bag to me and I’ll include you in the scheme.
No really. You can trust me.
I have a plan.
And not only that, I’m a businessman.
By the way, on an unrelated matter, where’s John Elliot these days? I remember when he was going to be the next Liberal Prime Minister…
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