It is often quite a surprise when I open my Messages file in the morning: I get strange quotations and links to some angry podcasts which seem to promote religious supremacy or some other form of exceptionalism which puts some people a bit, some times quite a bit above, somehow better than the rest of humanity.
A common thread is links promoting Israel’s ongoing struggle to rid the land of Palestinians or reasons to rid the world of Islam.
Yesterday a question: ‘Should Christians Study the Quran?’
My answer: Absolutely, also the Bible and the Book of Mormon and the Hindu Veda and any other religious ‘holy book’. Each should be read with an open mind, reflectively and critically in order to understand the nature of so many conflicts which have been instigated under the banner of religion.
Today, a post on Narcissism: ‘A narcissist’s criticism is a reflection of their own insecurity, not your worth. Remember, their battles are with themselves, not with you.’
The post was attributed to Rebecca Zung. My interest was piqued so I Googled the name and lo and behold, there was a page headed: 10 Words Narcissist Can’t Handle.
My initial reaction was from the narcissist within me, that the post was directed at me, in effect calling me a narcissist, and I do agree, that there are elements within me that are a bit narcissistic, like when such a post on a personal communication is received, especially from this person, my nemesis, it is fairly likely that the person is calling me a narcissist. I guess previous accusation of being ignorant or woke because I don’t agree with some of the stuff that is posted would sort of indicate that it is perhaps, yes, an accusation of being a narcissist.
So, in dealing with the usual topic of discussion, I thought I would be a bit self reflective and explore each of the ten words to see where I may fit on a narcissistic spectrum, if there even is such a thing.
I am not a psychologist, so this may not pass the professional standards according to DSM-IV, the psychologist’s bible, but here goes.
1. Empathy: My concern in any conflict is that there are people being killed or injured for no other reason that they are either in the way of an attacking force, may live in buildings being demolished and in being rendered either dead, injured, starving or homeless with nowhere to go. But for my nemesis, that is nothing to be concerned about.
In considering the Israel/Gaza conflict, I do not shy away from the horrific attack by Hamas on a music festival, killing many people and taking hostages. That day was absolutely criminal. I do, however, empathise with the Palestinian people of Gaza who have been locked away in a virtual prison and have been dependent on Israel to provide access for food, water, sewerage, medical supplies, power and all other essential items for life in the 21st century.
I also recognise Israel’s right to exist, as decreed by the UN in the Partition Plan of 1947, one of the first considerations of the newly formed body which recognised the centuries-long oppression of Jewish people in Europe which culminated with Hitler’s ‘Final Solution’, the systematic genocide known as the Holocaust. As the title of the plan suggests, it was for both Jews and Palestinians to live in the land.
2. Accountability: When discussing, that is a bit of an overstatement, when confronting the various snippets, blogs and rants regarding the Israeli/Gaza conflict, mentioning the treatment of Palestinians living on the West Bank and East Jerusalem while all eyes are focussed on Gaza, there is no response, or if there is it is dismissive, since the land is Israeli’s land. Just ask Abraham about the chat he had with God way back in Biblical Old Testament times. It seems it is the Palestinians’ fault they are being targeted. They should just move aside. Besides, they have tried to claim the land ‘from the river to the sea’ and that is not going to happen since that is the stated objective of the Netanyahu government.
Under international law, the West Bank, East Jerusalem and the Golan Heights are disputed territories and cannot be claimed by Israel, while they do have military control over the lands in question, it is as a security measure, but the lands are Palestinian, not Israeli. The Israeli settlements are illegal under international law, as is the further expulsion of Palestinians from the territories.
3. Vulnerability: It seems Israel has done no wrong. Ever! Starting with the 1948 ethnic cleansing called the Nakba which saw Palestinian villages destroyed and the expulsion of over 700,000 refugees and the continued taking of Palestinian lands, the attack of October 7 was on lands which prior to 1948 had been Palestinian farmlands, but that has long been denied; it is beyond question that those lands are Israeli and Israel has absolute right to defend them. As far as the seemingly endless slaughter of Palestinian people, women, children, it is Hamas who is responsible for using them as human shields.
The withholding of aid, food, water, medical supplies is shrugged off, not Israel’s problem.
My understanding that any hint that there needs to be negotiations in good faith are dismissed since Hamas is a terrorist organisation, and by association all Gaza Palestinians are too. Israeli negotiators come to the table with a list of preconditions but Palestinian preconditions are not considered.
History has demonstrated that Jews are persecuted, and that fear defines the very definition of what it is to be Jew. Israel must defend itself against all enemies; they have the right to assassinate adversaries, to blow Gaza to smithereens, to attack Lebanon when Hezbollah get active. To hound Palestinians from the West Bank. No one will defend Israel.
The aftermath of WWII saw both the Nuremberg Trials where the horrors of the Holocaust were exposed as some of the highest Nazi officials were tried, found guilty and executed, the UN wrote the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which all member nations signed, including Israel, and in granting access to Jewish survivors and displaced Jews to the lands of Palestine, to be cohabited with the Palestinian people who lived there. OK, there was some difficulty in achieving that, with both sides objecting to the other’s claims, but the will was there to negotiate, to come to compromises, to settle for a peaceful resolution. Compromise means listening to both sides.
5. Equality: Recently there was an article which discussed the treatment of Palestinians in a prison on the West Bank. I cannot recall the exact article, but a quotation sticks in my brain. “They are not people, they are animals” was stated as a soldier prepared to ‘deal with’ a Palestinian prisoner.
I maintain that we need to accept the humanity of our perceived enemies. They are people, and as people need the protection of the Declaration of Human Rights and the Geneva Convention when it comes to those in custody.
6. Constructive Criticism: It is impossible to criticise Israel. To point to the 40,000 plus death toll in Gaza, to suggest that humanitarian aid is too slow getting through the various check points, to suggest that laying the Gaza Strip to waste, that relocating 2.3 million people from one end of the strip to the other and back again so that any remaining building can be levelled are not a fair, humane things to be doing is seen as an affront to Israel’s self righteousness, their superiority, their claim to the land.
Israel is blameless. To suggest otherwise puts me in with the Palestinians, seeking Israel’s destruction, or so it seems. To suggest a more humane approach is impossible.
7. Authenticity: Interestingly, despite my repeated requests, the person sending me the posts, the ranting blogs, the posts are never commented on; they are just posted as though that is what he believes. Never does he open up for discussion – it is like he wears the mask of others.
I have repeatedly asked for his words, but they do not come. I will respond with my views, posting a humanitarian response, but that seems to be ignored or dismissed as mere ‘woke’-ness.
8. Emotional Intimacy: This is linked to ‘Authenticity’. To open up, to actually listen to other points of view is uncomfortable. It is easier to dismiss the holder of other views as ignorant, woke, or even of being a narcissist. That way there is no need to even consider the other as a person.
9. Boundaries: There are no boundaries, he controls the narrative, will not countenance a questioning of the information under discussion.
10. Self-Reflection: I don’t know that my nemesis is into self-reflection. I will forward a copy of this to him, see what response there may be. But I don’t think I will lie awake waiting for that. However, it has been a valuable exercise for me. And yes, there are elements of narcissism in me, but who of us can claim to be without just a bit of a narcissistic streak?
Importantly, it has made me reflect on the conflict continuing today, but also to go back to where it really started… back about 120 years ago with the arrival of the modern Zionist movement in 1896 declaring Eretz Israel as a national homeland for Jews, the Balfour Declaration of 1917 to establish a ‘national home for the Jewish people’ in Palestine, encouraging the establishment of Jewish settlements in Palestine and the beginning of Kibbutz as community focussed farming and the settlement after WWII as sanctioned by the UN.
The attitude to Palestinians throughout this time, and into the UN support for the establishment of Israel has been that of colonial occupiers treating indigenous peoples as barbaric, uncivilised, less than human, even terrorists, and able to be shoved aside for the new claimants to the land, as has occurred time and again in Africa, the Americas, the Caribbean and even here in Australia.
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