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The Upside Of Scott Morrison Winning The Election!

Ok, I know that everyone took it for granted that Labor would win in 2019. And I know that the true believers are worried about history repeating. I know that nothing’s predictable and that there exists a chance that Scott Morrison will be able to hypnotise large numbers of the public into forgetting that his government has made Tony Abbott look empathetic and Billy McMahon look competent.

Even though I point out that this is not 2019 where Scotty From PhotoOps was largely unknown and that he seemed pretty harmless to a lot of people and hadn’t we just seen those “Back in Black” mugs which made some feel they’d be a bit silly to risk all that sound economic management, some people will still be shaking in their boots and fearing that we’ll have three more years of this bumbling bozo.

While much of the media commentary centres on the campaign and the narrowing of the opinion polls and how difficult it’s going to be for Labor to pick up the necessary seats. it’s worth remembering that he only has to lose a couple of seats and he’s in minority government. It’s also worth remembering that – by and large – 2019 was accurate in terms of the poll numbers in the weeks before the election with the exception of Queensland.

Yes, I could go on pointing out the differences and it wouldn’t soothe the nerves of those who fear that Morrison will do it again. And who knows, he might.

So with that in mind, I thought I’d concentrate on the upside of Morrison’s win.

He’ll destroy the Liberal Party.

Think about it. The NSW branch are already pissed off and have taken him to court. Of course, one of the people who tried to take him to court had his party membership revoked under some by-law which confers god-like status on the Prime Minister. How many other dissenting voices would Morrison get rid of after the election?

Morrison has also changed the rules to stop the party getting rid of him without a two-thirds majority. Add to this the fact that he’s trying to stack the party with acolytes so that it’ll be impossible to remove him.

Then we have the coming interest rate rises. Now, normally the Liberal Party have enough sense to lose an election just before the economic shit hits the economic fan. Look how John Howard said, “Stand down and leave it to Peter Costello to win? No, not only would that be terribly unsatisfying because I’ve enjoyed holding out the treat and then taking it away and there’s no fun in actually giving it to him, but I think we’re about due for another recession which we can then blame Labor for… We have to think long term and then I can have a bit of a rest and come back as leader like Lazarus with a quadruple bypass…”

(Ok, I have no actual record of John Howard saying this but – like Angus Taylor – I don’t need to have anything to back up the things I think are true; it’s enough that I believe that it might be true. Actually, it’s enough for me to want it to be true.)

Moving on, Scotty is re-elected and they can’t get rid of him, even though most of the country is waking up like somebody who drank too much and decided to get back at their ex by having a one-night stand with the first eligible person who came along only to discover that their definition of “eligible” was considerable different after three wines, a vodka cocktail and what was that last drink I ordered shortly before saying, “Viva Mr Speaker…”

Anyway, the only option is for the moderates to leave the party, form an alliance with the Independents and create a party which they’ll call the “Fuck Scott Morrison Party” until they can agree on a name that’s more acceptable to the AEC, even though there’s general consensus that the basic sentiment in the name is acceptable to more than seventy percent of Australians.

Far-fetched? Perhaps. But not as far-fetched as the general media interest in opinion polls when – if the election ends up being a win to the Coalition – I could be just as accurate if I pulled two numbers out of a hat and said that this was the two-party preferred vote. Ok, maybe the numbers need to be 50 something to the equivalent 40 something but you get the drift.

In terms of this election campaign, the line “Whatever happened to the Budget emergency?” probably won’t be used but Labor might like to consider: “When Scott Morrison says if you vote for me, you know what you’ll get, we’d like to agree, but is it what we deserve?”

Ok, it’s more than a three-word slogan but sometimes the truth can’t be expressed succinctly. Although the PM did say something about, “Better the devil you know…” Perhaps, Labor could try something like “It’s time we didn’t have a devil for PM…”

I guess this is why I’m not in advertising!


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  1. RomeoCharlie29

    Nice one Rossleigh. I wonder how many of the (call themselves) journalists boosting Scummo and the
    Coalition actually believe the shit they are writing? I mean presumably they are not so brain-dead they can’t see just how bad this government has been, they might even have recognised that many of the pieces of legislation supposedly designed to protect us from terrorists under the bed actually work to invade their privacy as well as that of the readers they clearly despise or they wouldn’t be serving up the egregious crap they are.

  2. Kathryn

    The REAL danger in Australia right now is that the “Disappearing PM” Morrison – with the help of the lying, self-serving Murdoch press – will stumble, lie and muff his way into power again! There has NEVER been a PM as lazy, self-serving, non-achieving and useless as Sloth Morrison who has a knack for dissipating and vanishing during every crisis, no matter whether it is devastating fires, national floods, destructive hailstorms or cyclones! It is at those times, when Australians expect some form of leadership, some signal that Morrison has a drop of compassion or empathy for others or some indication that our PM – the fifth highest paid leader in the free world – is prepared to get off his pretentious, entitled behind and actually DO something that will provide benefit to anyone but himself or his multi-millionaire supporters in the Top 1%.

    When the chips are down or when tragedy strikes our nation, the ONE thing you can rely on is Morrison’s uncanny ability to disappear! It is at those times that Morrison so aptly plays his role as “Mandrake” – avoiding his responsibilities, being found cowardly “hiding” away relaxing on a deckchair in Hawaii or dodging the justifiable wrath of hapless victims of the floods and fires whom Morrison chose to ignore at their time of need! On the very few isolated occasions Morrison has the courage to poke his head out from behind the deckchair to see what’s going on, or wandering the streets desperately trying to force disgruntled victims to shake his hand, we notice he has a photographer or a journalist “shadowing” him in order to capture a cheap, self-serving “photo opportunity” at someone else’s expense!

    The problem we have is that we have a gutless, self-obsessed PM who is as shallow as a carpark puddle, who has revealed himself to be a totally self-serving narcissist who has a megalomaniacal, born-to-rule entitlement but is NOT prepared to actually DO the job, face the consequences or go that extra mile to assist, aid or provide benefit to Australians who are doing it tough! Morrison can only be relied upon to be there when there is a politically-motivated photo opportunity, a brief few seconds when he can pull out his notorious self-satisfied smirk for the benefit of the cameras or attempt to “grease the palms” of enraged Australians who, justifiably, feel let-down and abandoned in their moment of need by a self-promoting PM who has zero empathy for anyone but himself! What we have seen since Morrison’s ignominious rise in politics – as a result of his backstabbing betrayal of Michael Towke and Malcolm Turnbull – and ever since, is that whenever there is tragedy, wherever disaster strikes, “Mandrake” Morrison can always be relied upon to disappear faster than a fart in an elevator!

    It is impossible to think of a “leader” more devious, more lacklustre and more non-achieving than the lying, conniving Marketeer we now have masquerading as our PM! Morrison did NOT deserve his current role of PM because the ONLY thing he can do – with any level of aptitude – is campaign, bluster and bully his way into a role that he is totally incapable of handling! With a lot of help from the corrupt, LNP-biased Murdoch press, Morrison managed to hoodwink so many “gullible” people to elect him on the basis of chest-beating self-promotion, lies and the non-stop vindictive and virulent character-assassination of anyone who opposed him! This devious, underhanded method of attaining and retaining autocratic power is a tried and true LNP tactic which, of course, will be repeated ad nauseum leading up to the next forthcoming federal election in May!

    Will the small majority of Murdoch-manipulated Australians be foolish enough to fall for all the lies and LNP/Murdoch-promoted, manipulative malfeasance again? Hmmmmm? Wait and see!

  3. leefe

    “He’ll destroy the Liberal Party.”

    He well might. Trouble is, he’ll destroy the country as well and take far too many vulnerable, innocent people with him.

  4. New England Cocky

    Rossleigh, did you miss the disclosure that the NSW Liarbral Party requires aspiring pre-selection candidates to be members for at least twelve (12) months before nominating for pre-selection? Did you know that Deves had only about six (6) months membership at the time Scummo made his captain’s pick? Given his rusted on belief that he is always correct, are the thinking independent media stretching reality a little too far by asserting that Deves is the main distraction from the LACK OF LIARBRAL PARTY POLICIES FAVOURING AUSTRALIAN VOTERS ahead of foreign owned multinational corporations?

    Indeed, the COALition election strategy appears to be ignore the Nazional$ who will do anything for a quid filled government handout and get on with the vote buying, or should that be harvesting ”political donations” aka ”political bribes” from foreign owned multinational corporations by gifting Australian natural resources to the most generous foreign Liarbral Party donor?

    So the real question becomes,”Does this political strategy satisfy the legal definition of ”treason”?

    PS To remove Scummo & the cabal of crooks constituting the COALition misgovernment on 21 May 2022 it is necessary for every thinking Australian voter to VOTE BELOW THE LINE and NUMBER EVERY CANDIDATE insuring that sitting COALition politicians get all the high numbers. Then we may just be able to save Australian democracy for our grandkids.

  5. Pagnol

    In a nutshell leefe.

  6. Harry Lime

    I’m beginning to feel like Bill Murray in the movie’Groundhog Day’ I swear I posted a comment(inane, no doubt) on this article yesterday.Must be the mental strain of the daily flogging of bullshit by the increasingly desperate idiot from marketing.Anyway, to repeat what I thought I said…………Shithead WON”T win,and he’s already destroyed the LNP,so all those blatant hypocrites who have been mouthing support in the interests of their own arses should be really pleased.Especially Mogadon Josh and the little jerk Wilson,who both stand a good chance of getting the bum’s rush in their electorates.
    Rossleigh,there’s NO upside to that habitual liar and corrupt incompetent winning.

  7. Canguro

    Harry Lime…hahaha… I saw that post! Rossleigh pulled the article after you’d posted, and reposted this morning. I think he was playing Gotcha.

  8. Keitha Granville

    OMG he cannot win, cos I will have to emigrate and I really like my house !

    Now, if we had any media types who could actually give Labor a go ………

  9. Stephengb

    Rossligh, Your insight is not lost in the satire, the hypocracy and duplicitous nature is there for all to see, but it seems that only a few can see it, in all its glory.

    I fear for our fragile almost disappearing democracy, the oligarchy is almost ready to metamorph into a new aristocracy, with an unelected monarch now called “dear leader” (lower case intended). We are but mere steps away from the Dickensian era of the Victorain slums minus the “Satanic Mills”

  10. Michael Taylor

    I’m to blame for the original article being pulled. I just had to fix up a technical issue.

  11. GL

    Barmy Banana let his second brain cell loose with the usual disastrous results –

    From The Guardian:

    18m ago
    Barnaby Joyce says Solomon Islands potentially ‘our own little Cuba’
    Barnaby Joyce has also broken government ranks in his description of the security pact between China and Solomon Islands.
    Solomon Islands is a sovereign nation. They’ve decided to have a pact with China, dual purpose, which means China is able, if they follow through, to set up a military base there.
    That will be, absolutely, that’s a very bad day for Australia.
    We don’t want our own little Cuba off our coast.
    That is not what is good for this nation. Not what is good for the region.

    Oh no, does that mean Tony Montana will come here with his little friends?

    Updated at 13.45 AEST
    22m ago
    For at least the second time, Barnaby Joyce has claimed that building coal mines in Australia will halt China’s growing influence in the Pacific region.
    His reasoning is coal makes money and money means nuclear submarines. (I am not making this up)
    Joyce, speaking in Queensland said: If you want to buy fighter planes or nuclear submarines, you got (to have) the cash in the bank to do it.

    And his money making solution was again developing more coal mines “to make more money”.

    So what are we doing? No point everyone saying, “Well, we must do something about it.” All the way through we say, “How do we become as strong as possible, as quickly as possible?

    “Well, we develop the Pilbara and that’s what you saw this the budget, money into the Pilbara, make money where we earn money so we can make more money so we can become more secure so if you want to buy a fighter planes or nuclear submarines, you got the cash in the bank to do it.”

    This ignores international markets beginning to transition away from coal and international financiers moving to renewable energy.

    I now have a nascent migraine and my eyes are hurting. I almost feel like having a alkomoholic…alkemakolic…booze drink.

  12. New England Cocky

    @Stephengb: Agreed. you and me both.

  13. Andrew J. Smith

    Only if he remained leader with same team who could then wear their policy mistakes; then again that’s unlikely with our LNP cheers quad ‘medium’.

  14. Cool Pete

    Barnaby Joyce is an idiot!

  15. Paul Smith

    There was an upside to Morrison’s 2019 victory. It really was a miracle. God works in mysterious ways, and being eternal doesn’t need to be in a hurry to get results. Had Labor won the 2019 election we would never have had the opportunity to find out how irredeemably anti-democratic and corrupt the LNP are. Sadly, 30 – 40% of Australians are so morally corrupt that parties dedicated to robbing the poor to enrich the powerful, like the L & N Ps, can not only exist but dominate the national agenda for 67% of the time since federation. One can’t help feeling that it will take divine intervention to turn that number around. The travesty of righteous leadership foisted on us by Morrison and his fawning clingons may well have been God’s way of saying, “Wake TF up, Australia! Don’t let this happen again or you’ll be subjected to the Mandate of Heaven!” [hint, TMOH is code for… y’no…]

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