Apparently, Scott Morrison couldn’t be heard when he was addressing the other leaders at the climate summit last night. While some suggested it was a clever ploy by Morrison to hide the fact that he had nothing to say, others blamed it on a technical glitch. Matt Canavan suggested that it was because they weren’t using coal… (No, seriously! I mean, it may have been a joke but he actually tweeted it, this is not me writing some stupid sendup).
Anyway, I think I need to clarify the Federal Government’s position. Scott Morrison has all but set a target and we can assume that he’s inching his way towards making some sort of declaration after his announcement that he intended to get to zero emissions without the need to set a date for it to happen because, the issue is how not when and it’s technology not taxes and so we can give him lots of praise about how he almost announced something when he announced that he didn’t see the need to set a target owing to the fact that we meet and beat the targets we set.
Of course, some may wish to suggest that it’s pretty easy to beat a target that you haven’t set, while others would argue that it’s impossible to meet a target that doesn’t exist. These are, of course, the inner city latte sippers who hold dinner parties instead of getting things done. This is a government that acts first and asks questions later. Or rather, doesn’t have time to ask questions, let alone answer them, because they’re too busy getting things done.
Take that consent video: no sooner had it gone up but down it came. No dithering there. Immediate action when they realised that people were actually watching it and pointing out that it contained so many American concepts like “end zone” and “butt” that it may as well have been taken straight from the US saving us whatever it cost. Now that it’s not being endlessly shared on social media, think of all the electricity we’ve saved and what this had done to reduce emissions.
Sources tell me that the government intends to kill two birds with one stone by replacing that American-influenced milkshake video with a local one, made by Liberal staffers with the following script:
“Consent is simple. You shouldn’t be sharing your milkshake with anyone, and if you spill yours on someone else’s desk, you shouldn’t do it without their consent. Reduce your emissions. Ever since our colleague was sacked, we’ve all restricted ours!”
Ah, the power of prayer!
Whether this is true or not, I think we can all agree that it’s an amazing achievement by an Australian PM to have almost achieved the remarkable accomplishment of announcing a target for 2050. With the current rate of progress we may actually have one before the year itself!
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