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“We’d Like To Win The Premiership… By 2050… But Only If The Coach Can Keep His Job!”

Club President – I’d like to start the meeting. Now the purpose of this is to commit our club to winning the premiership by 2050. I know that we’ve never been big on winning in the past but circumstances mean that we’ll be left behind and kicked out of the league unless we’re a bit more competitive.

Matty – Excuse me, but who are other clubs to tell us what to do? Aren’t we a sovereign club with sovereign rights. (Murmurs of agreement from those near Matty)

:President – Nobody’s taking away our sovereign rights, but they won’t play with us unless we actualy make some sort of effort.

Barnaby – I just wish we could get those umpires out of our life. Who needs them?

President – Unless we make this commitment, we’ll have everyone out of our life?

Keith – What about the coach? He’s a good bloke. Does this mean that we’ll be sacking poor old Cole?

President – We can probably keep him on, but we need to make other changes. Like the playing group. We need players who can actually play.

Matty – Our fellows can play. Our club was built on these guys.

President – Yes most of the ones over fifty are talking about retiring.

Barnaby – Hey, weren’t you the one trying to get them to last a few more years.

George – That’s right. You said that they were cheap and reliable and we couldn’t afford to be paying for any new players who only turn up on sunny days.

President – Well, things have changed. There’s a few younger players who are showing promise and they’re prepared to play for free.

Matty – For free?

President – They may want us to pay for their gear but after that, every game they play will cost us nothing.

Barnaby – But they’re not as reliable as some of our old guys. They’ve been the backbone of the club for years.

President – They were good in the past but you’d hardly call Liddell reliable any more he broke down in the middle of the warmup last season. And Vic has to leave the field every few minutes because of his incontinence problem.

Matty – This is just ridiculous. If losing was good enough for our fathers, it should be good enough for us.

Treasurer – If I could just interrupt here, you’re all missing the point. If we don’t go along with what everyone else wants, we’ll find ourselves unable to sustain our current…

Barnaby – I don’t think ignoring our point of view is enough to get us on board.

President – Well, what would it take?

Matty – Coach Cole should be guaranteed a job for life.

Barnaby – And free drinks for all past players.

George – Open borders.

Keith – Not allowing our current players to retire just because they think they’re past it.

President – Ok, well if I agree to all those things, will you agree to commit to a premiership by 2050?

Barnaby – We’d have to think about it.

George – We can talk before the next match.

Keith – But we won’t be rushed.

President – Look, you just have to commit to it. It’s not like we actually have to do it.

Matty – Yeah, but once we commit, nobody will pay any attention to us any more.

President – Ok, well, can you get back to me before I go to the meeting with the league? I’ve got a meeting with all the other teams next week and imagine how it’ll look if I can’t make the same commitment that everyone else is making.

Barnaby – Why didn’t you just do what you usually do?

President – What’s that?

Barnaby – Lie about what you intend to do.


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  1. Jack Cade

    The National Party is proof that you CAN fool ALL of the people ALL of the time. It is also proof that dinosaurs are alive and well and walking amongst us.

  2. leefe

    “President – Look, you just have to commit to it. It’s not like we actually have to do it.”

    “Barnaby – Why didn’t you just do what you usually do?

    President – What’s that?

    Barnaby – Lie about what you intend to do.”

    And that is this bloody mob in a nutshell. And yet people still vote for them …

  3. BB

    Ok ha ha ha, however IMO climate change is no longer a joke, we need to treat the bullshit of inactivity with anger not humor.
    And why is something supposedly humour when couched in an analogy of football and etc sporting terms?
    Sorry but I find too much “aussie oi oi oi sport” has become just a means to behave like a yahoo and gamble money away.

    Surely there are some derogatory images of Morrison to use rather than one where he is making out how cool (not) he is…

    Maybe a typo?
    Barnaby – Why didn’t you just do what you usually die? ( “die” I believe is meant to be do)

  4. Ken

    “die” the perfect typo for Barnaby

  5. New England Cocky

    Why do Australian voters in New England continue to support Beetrooter and the Nazional$ who have demonstrated that they are nothing more than self-serving borne-to-rule economic parasites in the nation.
    Is it because the social ethos says 19th century values are appropriate today and it will only take 21 years to return to the 19th century where the region belongs living on the proceeds of property mortgages earned by the sweat of their grandfather’s brows?
    Is it because in politics what was good enough for grandfather who voted for grandma at the polling booth so that she could continue her kitchen duties uninterrupted by democratic duties?
    Is it because women in Tamworth NSW believe that adultery, alcoholism, bigotry, deceit, fornication, sexual harassment and misogyny are acceptable behaviours for persons employed as politicians?
    Whatever the reason known only to Nazional$ supporters they are prepared to allow branches often with less than 30 members to dictate Australian government policy for the personal benefit of a few borne-to-rule politicians.
    And look at the economic mess that is now New England … a 19th century economy trapped in a 21st century world.

  6. Rossleigh

    Typo fixed. Thanks.
    Bloody autocorrect!

  7. The AIM Network

    Bloody autocorrect!

    I reckon it was more a Freudian slip. 🙂

  8. GL

    America had (and still have) The Donald.
    The Brits have The Boris.
    What do we have?
    The hillbilly mutant offspring of the two.
    Oh, the joy…

  9. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh. Lovely, as usual.

    B B,

    ‘… IMO climate change is no longer a joke, we need to treat the bullshit of inactivity with anger not humor.’

    You say that climate change is ‘no longer a joke’, but it never was a joke. Rossleigh is not treating climate change as a joke – rather, he is using humour to point a spotlight at the corruption and hypocrisy of the politicians concerned.

    Let’s hit it with everything we’ve got! It’s not an either/or situation, surely. Humour is so often a wonderful and powerful way of showing up the absurdity of things – and shining a light on the absurdity can help to bring about change. Humour can help us to see things as they truly are, and there is no real possibility of change unless we can do that.

  10. BB

    Your entitled to your opinion Kate, but there is a time for humour and there is a time humour needs to be put aside.
    I realise what Rossleigh’s intentions are, I wasn’t born yesterday. You miss my point. I wasn’t being so much critical as honest.
    You criticize my valid candid viewpoint, because you wish to defend Rossleigh’s article, and so you fail to get my point.
    Using sports analogy as a form of (dark) humour in this context about climate change corruption should be considered passé.
    I can just see all the ockers, deniers, etc., going, “ha ha ha”, then entirely missing the subject is actually about climate change.
    The Nationals are opportunistic, milking any occasion is par for the course for them. They don’t care, they just want largesse.
    Lack of action on climate is well past absurdity, it is now criminality. The future of the planet for us, our kids is in dire danger.
    How about straightforward factual information to explain how things truly are. Too simple eh? So instead we dress up the info.
    We temper the info into bite sizes for “all the uniformed” by adding spoonfuls of “sugar”.. We dress it up as humour.. 😒

    Quite right, climate change was never a joke, but that is exactly how it has been treated by society for decades! With humour!
    It is perceived as being a joke which is why I say it is no longer a joke for real, but for so many deniers it is still seen as a joke.

    BTW I don’t just sit here on my butt, I continually write emails, to all minister I find an email address for. All political parties.
    They all get an unabridged version.

  11. Fred

    Haven’t we just had a 180 degree turnaround from the “this is coal” PM, on or around when the Murdoch press did a back-flip or have I missed something? The hypocrisy is breathtaking. The LNP is all at sea – how does one justify such a reversal and remain credible? You cannot expect the Nats to do backwards somersaults, they are not limber enough. Changing direction while driving probably causes them enormous concern. Changing to a paradigm of NZE would test their mental stability.

    Mad Matt is young enough to have another decade+ in politics. Politicians have fluid alliances, positions on issues, values etc. as dictated by circumstances. Matt is more than likely to be a “human induced climate change” convert when most of the businesses in his electorate, including the coal industry, have gone “green”, changed product line or closed.

    Motto re politicians: Don’t trust any of them, but if some show merit, trust but check. (Go Helen Haines with your “AFIC” bill.)

  12. Kate Ahearne

    B B,

    You say, ‘You criticize my valid candid viewpoint, because you wish to defend Rossleigh’s article, and so you fail to get my point.’

    Gosh! I wish I had your supernatural power of knowing what’s going on in another person’s head. I’ve been longing for such a Super Power all my life.

    I didn’t ‘fail’ to get your point, I just didn’t agree with it. (Perhaps our respective ‘points’ were like ships that passed in the night.) Actually, I did want to defend Rossleigh’s article, because I disagreed with your assessment of its value, and I thought the matter was important enough to take the time and trouble to say so, and to say why.

    Yes, there is a time and a place for anger, but that doesn’t mean we must all, and always, express our anger angrily. I’m sure we can all think of lots of times when expressing anger angrily just makes the ‘opponents’ dig in their heels, and often actually leads to great harm. And in any case, perhaps Rossleigh isn’t so much angry at the pollies in his article, as he is dismayed, bemused, quietly amazed, sad – whatever. He often reminds me of the old story of The Emperor’s New Clothes, and the little boy in the crowd who realised that the Emperor was naked.

    Being angry about climate change is not the same as being angry at the people who just don’t ‘get’ it. And perhaps Rossleigh is simply a person who expresses himself best when he uses the gifts he has been given in such abundance.

    As I said earlier, This is not an either/or situation. If you only want ‘straightforward factual information’, that’s your prerogative, and that’s fine. John Lord’s article yesterday is a very well-written piece that combines fact with opinion, and is also a valuable contribution to the discussion. Both John and Rossleigh, in their very different ways, from their very different perspectives, have helped me to understand what’s going on.

  13. BB

    It was obvious to me that you were defending the article Kate, not “supernatural powers” nor rocket science. Gosh eh, Lol.
    You have simply taken what I wrote mostly out of context and placed your own preferred understanding on it. So be it.
    I did not say to always be angry. I said there are times a different approach is needed rather than humour to make a point.
    I did not say he was being angry at the pollies, but time we all show more anger than humour re climate change inaction.
    I’m not stopping Rossleigh from writing or expressing himself in whatever way he wants to.
    I am simply being candid in my opinion, for him to take on board or not. Intelligent and aware folk prefer candid feedback.
    Perhaps, perhaps and perhaps eh, till the cows come home eh, whatever then eh, sure that will solve all the problems. (eh).
    We all have our own opinions, viewpoints, and as I said, you are entitled to yours, as I am to mine, as we all are.
    We will just have to agree to disagree then, as we have differing understanding and very different perspectives.
    It’s ok Kate, I’ll take it on board, I didn’t expect everyone to actually understand me. Enjoy your day…

  14. Kate Ahearne

    B B I criticised your remarks because I disagreed with them. My reference to ‘supernatural powers’ was about how you thought you knew what was motivating my criticism of your remarks. I repeat – I disagreed with them. That’s why I criticised your remarks.

  15. BB

    Whatever Kate, lol..
    Enjoy your day..

  16. GL

    I do like the photo at the top of the article:

    Scotty from Marketing, with no idea that the game finished 3 hours earlier, standing way out near the boundary waving his arms waiting for someone to hit, or kick, a ball in his direction. Sort of sums up his style of leadership.

  17. Kate Ahearne

    B B

    Quite frankly, Rossleigh has no need of defending by the likes of me.

  18. wam

    Old king cole was a merry old soul
    and he called his fiddlers three
    canavan, rennik and barnaby
    millions of Australians think anthropogenic climate change is a joke.
    Melting permafrost, glaciers and drowning pacific islands are associated with greenhouse gases and that is global warming.
    That is a serious fact that has only the few, like dutton, laugh at, but, apart from me, who cares let’s call them all idiots..

  19. BB

    The myth there are more jobs in the coal industry than in renewables is gaslighting by Sussan Ley, (with SS in her name). Australia must end all new fossil fuel projects NOW. But it won’t happen whilst the L/NP kowtows to fossil dinosaur crooks.

    Sussan thinks Renewable Energy is “Clearly Unacceptable”

  20. Michael Taylor

    BB, I read a few years ago that the fastest growing industry in California was renewable energy. Admittedly, that was pre-Trump.

  21. BB

    Michael, Most of the civilised world now looks to renewables, a shame that in Australia civility has been banned by Morrison.
    Australia desperately needs to renew it’s appalling government. Please put the L/NP LAST on your ballot at the Federal elections.

    Trump, an ever present danger to democracy world wide, the fat slug belongs in jail, and force fed cold salty porridge.

  22. wam

    myth or not BB there are some 40000 jobs in coal and 17000 jobs in oil and gas plus families and friends. To have a mob of screaming harridans wander through Queensland with the aim of stealing cash from unthinking labor voters and bolstering the loonie voters in the capital cities, just before the election was absolutely as cunning as a shithouse rat lawyer could devise and it worked revenue up from $6m to $9m and labor losing put the bandit closer to a nationals’ position.
    But who cares about grassroots thoughts, just stick with your image of the loonies as having principles.
    Michael, a quick look showed there are currently 150000 jobs in fossils and 500000+ jobs in renewables. California can cut coal and push renewables from a position of strength.
    Here is only an opportunist’s dream and the loonies certainly fit that bill????
    barnaby had a few today???

  23. BB

    There need to be alternative employment programs to phase out most fossil fuel jobs and move folks to other work.
    Renweables are the future, to cry wolf that folks will loose their jobs is well just that… crying wolf.. And we all suffer.
    Real programs of re-education, and real funding to relocate and retrain. The L/NP are incapable of such programs.
    The L/NP would rather increase coal production against all intelligent common sense predictions for the welfare of the planet.
    In other words the L/NP couldn’t give a rat’s arse for anybody’s welfare other than their own off shore tax haven accounts..
    What scares me though is how utterly stupid and ignorant so many ordinary (“quiet”) Australians are when it comes to politics.
    That so many think Morrison is a good guy, doing a great job, is testament to how well the L/NP push propaganda. The L/NP have diminished the level of real education, and with complicit collusion of Murdoch’s MSM, Australia is now in very deep shit.

    The skulduggery and dirty lobbying of the fossil fuel industry. RW dark selfish greedy forces in Australia are guilty, guilty, guilty!

    Leaked documents reveal the fossil fuel and meat producing countries lobbying against climate action

    Australia could so easily be a world leader in renewables and be like California, but not with a regressive L/NP in government.
    They want Australians to remain uneducated, pliable, docile, ignorant, breathing fossil fuels and living in the 1950’s.

  24. wam

    BB do you think the loonies had that ideal in mind when they bulldozed their way north not for the Adani years but just in time for the election?
    Do you think the army boys and girls joined the workers scared of losing their jobs and screamed back at the screaming harridans?
    No, with the grinning all the way to the bank greens, join the labor party in sticking their heads where the sun don’t shine and lame brain blame palmer for losing sitting members in the two townesville seats.

  25. BB

    Gosh wam, I am sorry, but I must confess that I really do struggle many times with understanding your comments.
    A pity as I would like to be able to know what you are really saying, but I find myself having to re read your comment multiple times and still being no wiser as to your meaning. Your preference for using “your code” makes understanding difficult for me, it’s just all a bit too obscure and confusing for me, I prefer straightforward English… Not that I can’t understand the words, but I do not understand what meaning you attribute to them in the context of your comment… 😎

    Who or what exactly are you referring to…..
    army boys and girls
    screaming harridans
    grinning all the way to the bank greens >>>, etc etc

    You ask… So what do I think? lol
    Well I can’t answer re your comment, but I think we, (‘we’ as in the world at large), are all up shit creek without a paddle.

    Anyway wam, I have been cruising through this website, so many very interesting topics, links galore..
    Here’s one I just finished reading, the last paragraph I paste below..
    Still, you are here reading this article. Did you just scan it quickly out of idle curiosity? Did you click on even one embedded link out of that curiosity to further your knowledge of something herein written? Perhaps, I got something wrong, but would you know from reading the link’s contents? Was that “reading”, or did you skim over what was written quickly because it was a bit long and … hell … who has the time, education, or philosophical inclination for in-depth understanding?

  26. wam

    thanks BB, I forget some people are not old enough to remember the principles of the greens of the past and the once endearing but now derogatory term ‘loonies’.. Sadly, I have a defective brain which thinks what I have written not what I have written so gobblededook is the result. Thanks for trying to read my interpretation of the timing bobby brown’s caravan. I used descriptions like ; as one of my sources.
    But the media’s bias in selecting TV coverage that confirmed the fear of workers in opposing intention of the caravan to take existing and future jobs was highlighted by scenes of the screaming harridans and men dressed as workers and he interpretation of my rabbottians as the chief source.(I have exhorted people here to talk to LNP friends and relatives about the loonies to gauge the fear of the greens. But I suspect the scribes here don’t have such close contacts) My point is fear of the alternative drives enough workers to vote LNP and if labor doesn’t address this fear then scummo has the advantage of using some pretect to evoke it just before the vote.. LABOR must win because there are more workers but can only overcome the fear of ‘socialism’ when a figurehead appeals Gough, Hawke and Rudd suited so were elected. Dramatic events got pants down, the lying rodent thrice, the rabbott and scummo elected. Ergo you write MYTH without acknowledging that coal jobs are NOW and fear of losing them is REAL. QED vote against labor and the greens. California’s example could be used in townesville and the idiot fitzgibbon’s seat to give a chance of labor winning but, as a good conspiracy theorist, I expect the bandit and his nine to give another miracle for scummo and for labor to blame anyone but the loonies?

  27. GL

    Tudge still pushing for his rose coloured glasses LNP right wing happy happy joy joy (apologies to Ren and Stimpy) version of “accurate” history for students. Moron!

    On The Donald side of things: How much of the $300 million will be siphoned into his banks accounts? Mostly likely, almost every single cent that isn’t nailed down.

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