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Tony Abbott: Why I Intend To Campaign For Him To Keep Warringah!

“Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?” attributed to Henry II.

The headline warned us: “ANTI-ABBOTT ARMY ASSEMBLING IN WARRINGAH”. The writer, Tim Blair blared: “Identikit independents, all of them obsessed with climate change and other non-local issues, are set to swarm Tony Abbott’s electorate in the next federal election.”

Well, I never. What’s wrong with these people? Apart from being an “identikit independent”, whatever that is. Being obsessed with non-local issues and actually wanting to take action about an issue that could be the end of life as we know it…

All right, I’ll stop being “alarmist” and deal with the issue at hand.

Apparently, Mr Blair is concerned that people are trying to unseat a good local member who only ever worries about local issues.

Oh wait, it’s Tonan The Destroyer we’re talking about here. I would have thought that, if they had any brains, the whole Liberal Party would be united over removing that troublesome non-priest.

Ah, I see the flaw in that plan.

Anyway, I’d personally hate to see old Tones removed as Member for Warringah, and there’s a number of reasons for this.

For starters, he’d probably get a gig on Sky News. You know, something like Abbott & Credlin or Bolt & Nut. He’s been bad enough in Parliament, but imagine if he was trying to be controversial.

Secondly, imagine the damage the Liberals could do if they went back to the old days where they were content to pretend to like each other in public just so they could win elections. I mean, if they started presenting a united front some people might not realise what a rabble of confused ideas they actually are. Having Tony in Parliament has meant that every time they put the latest National Party MP scandal to bed, then up pops Mr Abbott to create a headline.

But foremost in my mind is the future. I have to think of the future and if the Federal elections goes the way it’s predicted, then there’ll be only a handful of politicians to poke fun at. True, once Labor is in power, I can pick on them for not fulfilling all of their promises. I can attack Bill Shorten for his lack of charisma, because we all know that’s what’s important. Without Tony Abbott, however, I’ll actually have to work at satire.

Now I’m not writing the Coalition off completely. As Scott Morrison said when trying to stop doctors saving the lives of people on Manus and Nauru, he was prepared to do whatever it takes. And I’m sure that’s how he feels about the coming election. Anything would justified to prevent Bill Shorten from becoming PM. He’s a threat to national security. Maybe ASIO could take him into custody and interview him for a couple of weeks during the election campaign.

Energy prices don’t seem to working… Mainly because people would like to see them actually coming down and not just be told that they will but high prices are all because Labor and The Greens hate Christmas and don’t want you to have enough money to buy presents for your kiddies.

Yes, it’ll have to be terrorism. That’s probably the reasoning behind the revoking of Neil Prakash’s citizenship today. Ok, you may wonder why it’s taken this long given his history, and given that we were trying to extradite him from Turkey earlier this year. Simple. There’s an election in the offing. Prakash has a Fijian father and even though he was born here, we’ve decided that he’s now Fijian…

I wonder if Dutton’s thought of revoking Abbott’s citizenship!

 

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26 comments

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  1. Kaye Lee

    ”If you want to know who to vote for, I’m the guy with the not bad looking daughters . . .”

  2. Diannaart

    https://blogtarkin.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/great_municipal_band.jpg

    “Identikit independents, all of them obsessed with climate change and other non-local issues, are set to swarm Tony Abbott’s electorate in the next federal election.”*

    Scary stuff, no wonder Tony Vader Abbott is calling on all his stormtroopers. Too many Jar Jar Binks’sses running around not good for any aspiring despot.

  3. Cool Pete

    Well, the perfect gig on Sky for Botty would go like this, “7pm, Weeknights, “And now, it’s time for Who Can Do A Shit? with your hosts, The Two Little Botties.”” Then, “Good Evening, I’m Andy Bott,” “And, ah um, I’m, ah um, Tone The Bott.” “So, tonight, we will begin with, “Shit That Causes A Stink.” “And, ah-um, now, it’s, ah um, time for, ah um, Shit Happens.” “And, now, it’s time for, The Farting Competition.” “So, it’s One Fart from me, Bruup.” “And, ah um, it’s, ah um, one fart, ah um, from him.” “Good night.”

  4. David Stakes

    Whatever, his daughters ideology must be totally screwed.

  5. Zathras

    As far as I’m concerned. Abbott can stay in Warringah and thereby campaign against his own party just by being a constant reminder of what they are really like. I haven’t seen him in his Firefighting regalia lately either.

    Abbott would probably have the same status as Prakash. He letter he magically produced from the UK to confirm he’d applied to renounce his UK citizenship is strangely in contravention of their statement that records are not kept beyond 10 years, outside the period he claimed to have applied.

    Also Morrison can get on his knees as often as he likes and “pray for the refugees on Nauru” but all he really needs to do is pick up the phone and fix the problem.

    I wonder if he wrote a letter to Santa as well – just to double the chances of a resolution?

    2019 will be an interesting year.

  6. Matters Not

    Re:

    Abbott can stay in Warringah and thereby campaign against his own party

    Indeed! Abbott should be the Member for Warringah for the term of his natural life – and then some. Retire his jersey as it were – and have no other Member for Warringah for at least a decade. Tony should be hallowed, blessed, sanctified, canonized and then consecrated. Learning about Saint Tony should be included in the national curriculum.

    Perhaps even a feast day?

  7. Michael Taylor

    MN, we could scrap the Queens Birthday holiday for Tony’s Birthday.

  8. Ross

    Nobody is totally useless, Tony can serve as a bad example.

  9. Rossleigh

    MN and Michael, I did think of titling this: “Labor To Hand Out How To Vote Cards For Abbott in Warringah”, but I decided against it for fear that they might think that it’s a good idea!

  10. Terence Mills

    I see Peter Dutton is at it again :

    “Malcolm is charming and affable but he doesn’t have a political bone in his body and it’s not a criticism, but without political judgment you can’t survive in politics and he didn’t.”

    This comment comes from a man who engineered a coup to dislodge a sitting prime minister and place himself in the leadership position except that, due to his own incompetence and lack of political nous, he failed abysmally.

  11. MattersNot

    Re:

    it’s not a criticism, but without political judgment you can’t survive in politics and he didn’t

    Fine words coming from a man who has turned a relatively safe seat into a probable loss in the coming election. Now have the political epitaph to rest on his Cairn (shaped as a potato) to be sited along the Lawnton flats.

  12. Rossleigh

    Gee, Peter, it’s not a criticism but without a numbers counter who can actually count, you can’t launch a leadership coup and expect that you won’t have part of your portfolio taken away when you lose. Still, good to see one of the numbers men in Cormann is in charge of finance under Scottie. Possibly explains our so-called return to surplus.

  13. Kronomex

    Il Duttonuci, whose repulsive head is a giant pimple of incompetence and, hopefully, it will be popped at the next election.

  14. helvityni

    So Mal is seen as ‘charming’ and affable, but so is Scottie according to the certain sources…if all you want is ‘affable’, why bother changing leaders….?

  15. Keith

    Dutton claims Turnbull has no political bones .. Dutton’s attempt to become leader of the LNP went well, didn’t it?

  16. helvityni

    Charm (Mal) not enough, Muscle(Abbott) not enough either, Folksy (Scottie) we want more than that…..

    A man with full lips and bones made for politics….Dutton is our man!

    .

  17. Pilot

    Ah, Matters Not,

    “blessed, sanctified, canonized and then consecrated”, don’t you mean “blasted, sanitised, Cannon fired and then castrated”? Seems to make better sense to me…..

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  18. CoralieN

    If you really want to destroy the party, yes bring it on. We could even campaign Abbott for PM & at the last minute do a Scottie & vote in an independent exlib, exlab or exgreens candidate. There’s certainly many options going forward, & many curlie maneuvers that may work.

  19. Paul Davis

    Rossleigh re your comment “Gee, Peter, it’s not a criticism but without a numbers counter who can actually count, you can’t launch a leadership coup”; this was disconcerting for me, how could a cautious numbers guy like Cormann get it so wrong unless he was playing McGuffin….

    I can imagine a situation where the bully Dutton organised his thugs to browbeat and threaten to get the numbers and i suppose that Cormann got caught up in what he thought for a few nanoseconds was a genuine impetus for change. However, two things to consider…. firstly this is the Liberal Party, a discordant ‘murder of vultures’, a gang of venal spiteful ambitious cannibals who collectively would have made Al Capone nervous, and secondly, it would be ultimately a secret ballot… I’m sure many of those whose toes were hammered or genitals electrocuted knew they could sign the petition but recant in secret without fear of reprisal.

  20. Rossleigh

    Yes, Paul Davis, it would be an excellent question to ask Cormann: “Did you just stuff up, or were you only pretending to back Dutton so that Scott could pretend that he had clean hands and was ‘ambitious for this guy’ (Turnbull)?”

  21. New England Cocky

    I am surprised Rossleigh that you have yet to check the viewing statistics that report Sky having just a 3% audience!! Perhaps the optimal solution would be to ignore SKY completely, omitting their name from all posts even because they are just a television arm of the Murdoch Mediocre Media Circus spreading fake news on behalf of the privileged bosses.

  22. SteveFitz

    The Australian Oath of Office: “I, Tony Abbott, do swear that I will well and truly serve the people of Australia in the office of blah blah blah…” Since I’m a people of Australia I feel no guilt about serving myself and have a clear conscience on that issue – Tony Abbott.

    And then there’s the Australian Pledge: “From this time forward, under God, I pledge my loyalty to Australia and its People, whose democratic beliefs I share, whose rights and liberties I respect, and whose laws I will uphold and obey”.

    Hang on Tony? If your loyalty is to yourself, it’s not to the Australian people. Our fractured democracy serves politicians and the financial elite, and our rights and liberties are oppressed by politicians at every opportunity. Australian law is manipulated and convoluted to favour lawyers and whoever has the most money?

    So, Tony, the “Oath of Office” is a joke to you and the “Australian Pledge” designed to instil national pride into every Australian is reduced to propaganda as you and the LNP cast your lying, scheming, self-serving, dark shadow across the land.

  23. Terence Mills

    New England Cocky

    We really cannot afford to ignore News Corp and their wholly owned Sky News subsidiary. As Paul Murray from Sky said the other day Sky after dark is just a Liberal Party echo chamber.

    Kevin Rudd noted last week that News Corp is not a news organisation, it’s a political party !

    News Corp’s Sydney Daily Telegraph reported Sky News had already taken its flagship programs to broadcast free to air through WIN into 25 different regions in rural Australia – “reaching out to the kind of voters Trump won over as ‘the forgotten people”

    Overall the audience for Sky is miniscule, the ratings period between 2 December and 8 December show, The Bolt Report topped Sky’s after dark programs on Win TV with an average of 23,000 viewers. Paul Murray Live and the new Jones & Co program both scored 18,000 viewers. Credlin’s program drew 12,000 viewers and Kenny 9,000. Not big numbers but if you have seen these programs you will note that there is no attempt at balance or impartiality. They are bringing to the bush the kind of anti-migrant and climate change denial and pro coal arguments that have so destabilised and distorted our political discourse.

    It is a clear strategy of the Murdoch family to bring the US Fox News model to Australia and whilst the pay TV model hasn’t given them the audience numbers they are after, the move into free to air in regional areas gives them a potential audience of eight million Australians.

    We need to be alert to what is going on : it’s a political strategy !

  24. margcal

    Terence Mills: December 30, 2018 at 8:13 am
    This comment comes from a man [Dutton] who engineered a coup to dislodge a sitting prime minister and place himself in the leadership position except that, due to his own incompetence and lack of political nous, he failed abysmally.

    Rossleigh: December 30, 2018 at 5:07 pm
    Yes, Paul Davis, it would be an excellent question to ask Cormann: “Did you just stuff up, or were you only pretending to back Dutton so that Scott could pretend that he had clean hands and was ‘ambitious for this guy’ (Turnbull)?”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    To this day I’m not convinced that Morrison was not ‘the’ major player pulling the strings that ousted Turnbull.

  25. Kaye Lee

    margcal,

    Morrison didn’t have the guts to kick it off but there is no question in my mind that he had been planning a strategy for the inevitable and quietly encouraging fools like Abbott and Dutton to kick the pot over.

  26. Terence Mills

    Today ABC TV did a blow by blow re-enactment of what happened on that fateful day when Turnbull was knifed and the Liberal party spiraled into electoral irrelevance.

    What came home to me was the betrayal of Turnbull by his so called supporters , Cormann , Fifield and Cash which sealed his fate.

    I would be quite happy to see these three in particular seen off at the next election. But guess what ? They each received a six year term in the senate after the 2016 DD election so they knew they were safe and would not have to face the electorate until 2022 and without a doubt this must have influenced their treachery.

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