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Tony Abbott is a Good Man

Photo: The Australian

Photo: The Australian

Someone was telling me that the Coalition Government is being run like the Catholic Church. It’s men in all the important positions. Abbott is like the Pope, his rule is absolute apart from the unseen deity who is in charge of all, Credlin. Who is God.

“What’s so bad about that?” I wanted to know. ‘After all, the Pope is usually a good man apart from that one in the 13th Century, who was a woman. And what’s wrong with someone working behind the scene to make all the decisions? Surely you wouldn’t want ministers making decisions all by themselves. After all, Pyne was too busy to read the Gonski report. I’m sure that he’s not the only one who doesn’t have a clue about his portfolio.”

“You’re not suggesting that Tony Abbott is a good man,” he scoffed, in that monstrous way that the Left do. They presume that anyone who doesn’t agree with them is pure evil.

“Tony IS a good man!” I countered, using the tried and true method of argument, where if you assert something loudly enough, it must be true. Repetition is always a good way of making something true. So I said it again, “Tony is a good man. He was going to be a priest, wasn’t he?”

“So why DIDN’T he become a priest?” snorted my adversary. “What’s the story there?”

“I don’t know. but whatever, it’s ancient history. You wouldn’t get the Liberals dragging up events about Labor politicians from twenty years ago.”

“What about Julia Gillard?”

“That’s not the point. Just the other day, Tony showed what a good father he was, by telling us how much he enjoyed smacking his girls.”

“And what about that ‘suppository of wisdom’ comment? Or his ‘quantum’ of money, instead of ‘quantity’?”

“Look we’re discussing his goodness, not his intelligence!”

My opponent smirked and walked off. So I tried to find examples of Tony’s goodness for the next time I saw this person.

There are plenty, of course, but I managed to find these with just a simple google search. Who needs a faster NBN? I don’t, and if I don’t, I can’t see how anyone would.

For example when asked if he agreed with Labor’s aim to halve homelessness by 2020, he used the Bible to respond.:”The poor will always be with us.” I don’t know if this is the official policy, but it certainly demonstrates where Tony Abbott’s heart is.

He also used Jesus when talking about asylum seekers.

Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it’s not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia.”

A person quoting Jesus can’t be evil, can they? And if you have any doubt, just yesterday he reminded us which side the government was on:

”I think there’s every chance that we can keep Toyota but the level of assistance that Toyota can expect is roughly the same level of assistance that they have previously received,” he said. He said General Motors’ decision to pull out in 2017 reinforced the importance of reducing the tax and regulatory burden for business, and increasing productivity. ”On all three, the government is on the side of the angels,” he said.

Read more:

And it’s not as if sees the Labor party as somehow beyond redemption. Shortly after being elected, he demonstrated that he was prepared to forgive them for denying him his rightful place as Prime Minister, where they foolishly clung to the notion that just because they had enough votes in the House of Representatives, that somehow gave them the right to install Julia Gillard as PM.

“If the Labor Party persists in saying, ‘Yes, we support the carbon tax’, they will effectively be saying ‘No’ to the people of Australia,” Mr Abbott said.

“The people of Australia understandably want lower cost of living, and they want more secure jobs. This bill gives them both.

“That’s why the pressure on the Labor Party in the end not to oppose this bill I believe will be irresistible.

“We are giving the Labor Party a chance to repent of its massive breach of faith with the Australian people in the last Parliament,” he added.

So we have a man who is on the “side of angels”, who quotes the Bible, and offers people the chance to repent, even providing character references for priests charged with sexual abuse, but still people are complaining about his Government’s broken promises and secrecy. He’s not just fit to be Prime Minister, he’s fit to be Pope. It’s really a shame he ever went into politics, he’d be much better suited as priest.

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