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Tim Smith Is Paid A Lot More Than Me And His Achievements Are Abusive Tweets…

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Now let me be quite clear here for the thousandth time: I am more than ready to attack both sides of politics. I look forward to the day when I can mock Labor and The Greens equally before whichever side I’m mocking will accuse me of being on the other side, as though somehow they’re further apart than George Christensen and his electorate. HOWEVER, the current mob of miscreants that masquerade as members of the media make it very hard to do anything but be critical of the Coalition because the media still seem to be behaving as though Labor is the party that have to provide all the answers and that The Greens are dangerous extremists who don’t understand that when Santa puts a lump of coal in your stocking it’s because he wants you to stay warm.

I guess the thing is that the Liberals aren’t really thinking things through…

You can’t blame them, of course, most politicians aren’t very good at looking beyond the election cycle. What is it that sporting coaches say? “We’re taking it one election at a time…”

Anyway, Kristina Keneally is quite the little attack dog, isn’t she? Wasn’t she premier of NSW at one point? But then she ended up in federal politics. Is that the reason that Liberals are telling the media to go after Dan Andrews and the media are happily complying? Do they hope to have the Victorian premier move to Canberra?

Remember this accusation about the Liberals providing journalists with questions wasn’t made by some lefty lunatic on Twitter; it was made by Steve Price on “The Project”. Or have we moved to the point where Price is considered part of those who have a Marxist agenda to destroy western civilisation?

Once politicians feared journalists. Their wrongdoing may have been exposed. These days, it’s more like let me give you a better scoop, not just yet, but if you’re a very good journalist, I’ll rub your tummy and let you know what’s going on.

Journalist: Your family trust benefitted by the Treasurer’s recent policy change to the tune of several million dollars, would you like to comment for a story I’m writing.

Politician: Look, my family trust is off-limits. You should know that families should be given personal space and not subject to the rough-and-tumble of politics.

Journalist: Sorry, you misunderstood. I’m not going to mention the family trust. I was wanting your comment about what a great announcement it was and how it’s going to help Australia...

Here in Victoria, the media seem to be trying to create a sense that Dan Andrews is facing a revolution when most polls suggest that people understand that he has a difficult job and he’s doing the best that he can. The media, on the other hand, seem to be playing gotcha.

On ABC radio this morning, Virginia Trioli asked the police commissioner, Shane Patton, whose decision it was to impose a curfew. He replied that it would have been the Chief Health Officer’s. She then played a clip of the Premier saying that it was his decision, leading to the frightful admission that Patton hadn’t heard Dan Andrews comments. Ok, so the point was? I mean we already know that Andrews made the decision and that it wasn’t at the behest of the CMO. I mean, we already know that we’re living under a dictatorship worse than anywhere and that anyone criticises Andrews is sent to a gulag for re-education. I happened to say that I thought he should be wearing a tie the other day and the secret police questioned me for days about who I was working for and…

Anyway, I can just picture Dan Andrews standing up in a press conference and telling them all that he’s had enough and he’s off to Hawaii. Can you imagine the volume in the Murdoch media being dialled up to eleven and all the ABC copycats joining in to condemn Dan for leaving when we’re in crisis, even though many of them have been asking for him to do so on a daily basis … Actually, I can’t picture it growing any louder. I suspect that if we get an out of control bushfire this summer, the media will be demanding that the premier tell us when it’s going to be brought under control, before asking if it’s really necessary to stop tourists from driving to the area because of all the business that’s being lost.

Meanwhile nobody in the media seems to be harassing Scotty about opening up Australia’s borders. While it’s prudent to stop international travellers from arriving on our shores and potentially spreading the virus, the borders of Queensland, WA and Victoria should be thrown open. South Australia seems to have been forgotten in all this and Tasmania, is after all, not part of the country. (That’s sarcasm, before I get correspondence from Tasmanians who don’t understand irony.)

Although the gods do seem to starting to say that it’s about time your luck ran out, Mr Morrison. Big announcement on vaccines, then a few days later the trial is halted. Ok, it’s always likely that there could be a glitch and that there needs to be a pause in a medical trial. That’s why it takes so long to get a new drug or vaccine on the market. I’m just amused that the timing was so soon after the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. Usually the Liberals make the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and it’s some months later when we discover that only $27.38 was spent out of the $2 billion announced owing to people not filling in the application  form before the due date which was two days before the form was released to the public.

However, just so you don’t think I’m not being fair: in the spirit of bipartisanship, let me defend Morrison, who gets accused of running out on press conferences if the questions get too hard. In actual fact it may not be the questions; after all those curries he may need to make a hasty exit.

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