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The Morrison Men And The Little Lady To Whom I Owe Such Excellent Descriptions!

“My wife says that I’m far too modest and that I should remind people of what a great fixer I am. I would never do that because that would sound like I was boasting, but she says that I shouldn’t ever forget that I’m one of the Morrison men and that I’m a fixer. Like Christopher Pyne, we’re fixers. My father used to be in the NSW police and he was good at fixing things because that’s what police do. And my brother is a paramedic and if they see something broken, they fix it. And I’m the PM and I’ve fixed a lot of stuff. I fixed it so that my candidates were the ones selected in NSW. and, if I get my way, I’ll fix it so that all the candidates agree with me…”

I think I got the gist of it. I don’t refer to notes and I do everything from memory which is apparently a much better thing to do than get it right. I mean, look at the kerfuffle the other day when Albo got out his notes on the NDIS because he couldn’t remember the six points off the top of his head at a press conference that wasn’t even about the NDIS.

Scott Morrison always relies on memory which is so much better. Not only does he remember some of the questions before they’re asked but he also can remember things that never happened, such as his praise for electric cars in the 2019 election campaign and all the things he’s done for women and bushfire victims.

Speaking of the devil, the official Liberal campaign launch was yesterday which seems rather strange given there was less than six days till the election. Of course, some cynical person suggested that it might be that until the campaign is officially launched then ministers and staff can charge travel to the taxpayer rather than the party, but surely that couldn’t be the reason.

No, as Scott said in his fiery, revivalist-type speech yesterday, “I’m just warming up.” Of course, this is a bit like suggesting that the grand final be replayed because it took you until the final quarter before you’d finished your stretches and you were now ready to actually start playing, so how about we forget all the mistakes and fumbles and we start from scratch and play another quarter.

Scott re-affirmed his need to change gears because he’d been a bit too much of a bulldozer in his approach because of the need to get things done. And yes, who can forget the way he bulldozed the vaccine rollout, insisting that it wasn’t a race because all those other countries with their Formula-1s would leave a bulldozer for dead… Just as he left many Australians who didn’t get the vaccine in time.

Jane Hume backed his capacity to change gears letting everyone know that while he may have been a little unused to the clutch having spent so much time with an automatic, he’d smoothed out his action and he knew to move through the gears slowly and wait until he was on the highway before hitting top.

As the warm-up comedian, Josh came out with the side-splitting line, “I wish I got this sort of reception in Kooyong.” This, apparently, was a reference to the close contest in his electorate where he’d assured us just days ago that people were coming up to him and telling him what a great job he was doing. I must, therefore, infer that he doesn’t like the voters talking to him and wishes that they would simply give him a standing ovation like the Liberal faithful.

Of course, when I say “the Liberal faithful” I mean all those at the party launch, not just the ministers who aren’t cheating on their partners. And anyway, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody reports it, did it really happen?

Anyway, I’d have to say that their pitch on housing certainly appeals to all those who are unable to save for a deposit. Taking $50,000 out of your superannuation account is something that will appeal to all those who are either struggling to save and who don’t see any way that they’ll survive till they’re old enough to access their super. It’s even more appealing to those who don’t realise that the catch is that to get the full $50k you need to actually have over $125,000 in your super account, because it’s a maximum of 40%, but maybe they’ll fix that by telling people that you can borrow the $50,000 against future super contributions. The beauty of this scheme is that it will help keep house prices high which is one way of ensuring that the retirement income of all the MPs who own several investment properties isn’t eroded by people’s inability to go hopelessly into debt.

Leaving aside everything that they’ve done or haven’t done, the Liberals have a pretty impressive pitch which is basically just that: Leave aside everything we’ve done or haven’t done and re-elect us because we can change, but don’t elect Labor because change would be risky at a time like this.

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12 comments

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  1. Terence Mills

    Does Albanese actually want to win this election ?

    I winced yesterday when he was on Insiders and held up a dollar coin to emphasize that the five percent increase in the basic wage, that he supported, was only a dollar a week going to those on the lowest incomes.

    Even I realized that he had bungled it again – what he meant was a dollar an hour extra.

    This election is Albanese’s to lose and he seems to be doing his best to stuff it up.

    https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/national/federal-election/labor-leader-anthony-albanese-bungles-1-an-hour-pay-rise-claim/news-story/b43c6e9dc9f9b4ebcf7f0e75f31a3e6f

    Too many blunders Anthony !

  2. GL

    The Libs campaign launch had as much substance as aether. I’m also surprised that the building managed to stay up with all that hurricane strength hot air blasting out of the arses…oops, mou…nah, arses will do, of Scummo and Crew..

  3. GL

    Terence,

    I’m surprised that the LNP/Murdoch/Costello/Stokes cabal haven’t been trying to compare Albo with Biden and his gaffes as a nasty and petty little election dig.

  4. New England Cocky

    @Was there the campaign launch for the Liarbrals yesterday? Must say, it went unnoticed at our place. All that put on bon homie, the plastic smiles and the false sincerity. Must say cleaning up the garden rubbish was more exciting and stimulating than watching Scummo tell more lies.

    Somehow, a leopard does not change their spots nor a tiger change their stripes, those are skills confined to Liarbral politicians wanting to ”forget” their insistence that e-vehicles would doom weekend camping, that lamb priced would rise to more than $100 per leg and that the Northern Inland Railway (NIR) will make a profit at any time in the next 50 years.

    I agree with LABOR; the banks have had their eye on plundering the superannuation savings of Australian workers since The Accord was established by Keating back in the 80s. Now that their ”political donations” aka ”political bribes” have found a niche in the LIarbral Party fund raising there will be numerous ”changes” to ”encourage” Australian taxpayers to part with their future savings to create more private profits for foreign shareholders. Think about the 10% ”relief” during the COVID pandemic. The first of many such financial assaults.

  5. GL

    NEC,

    It’s not so much the banks I would be concerned about, it’s what LNP would do if they found a way to plunder and pillage the nations superannuation savings. They have been wanting to get their greedy mitts on all that cash for years, all in the name of helping Australia of course.

  6. Kaye Lee

    Terence,

    Albanese has been disappointing. Labor needs to showcase their team – that is their strength. Pretty much any of them are better speakers and more focused in putting their case forward and more adept at answering questions.

    There is a great deal more I would like to say on that front but perhaps best left for a week or so.

  7. Terence Mills

    Kaye

    I can feel it slipping away as it did in 2019.

    Another effing miracle – courtesy Rupert Murdoch.

    I hope I’m wrong !

  8. Ron Lee

    Kaye,
    I am sure you will have a lot to say on that subject and I look forward to your comments. Don’t forget to reference the implications for assessing the intelligence of Australian voters.
    Terence,
    Every thinking Australian hopes you are wrong too.

  9. Williambtm

    Has any subscriber to the AIM network considered how important it is to support Albo & his party?
    I ask this as a comparison question against the “Australia destroying Lib/Nat government with Scomo as their pack leader, also as to their destiny
    as a non-Australian Commonwealth Constitution abiding Federal political party?”

    If ever there has been a time to rally together and support an alternative to the signatories of the AUSUK contrived military alliance, this Lib/Nat
    party now is that time.

    Many of Australia’s people have no idea what the US “we’re your buddies crap “is all about?”
    Suffice to say, Australia is an ideal spot to construct an enormous new all-encompassing Pacific military base. Australia is loaded with
    so many mineral resources that their corporate mining interests want to grab a piece of our super-rich, money-generating mineral export futures.

    My being a patriot of our Australia had me engage in the research necessary to form my written opinions as to the how & why the USA bothers
    talking to our government, with us still considered by the USA as a 3rd world country ripe for their plunder.

    If anyone wants to convince me otherwise, I look forward to the next challenge.
    I pay dearly for all my independent news sources, & the same goes for my international news.
    I will not give any credibility to the USA propaganda narrative published across our world.

    The USA has never been so close to a gigantic financial collapse, perhaps even larger than the worldwide 1929 collapse.

  10. Albos Elbow

    If you want to have a good laugh read this – why women should vote for Scummo.
    https://www.theage.com.au/national/why-women-should-vote-for-the-coalition-20220515-p5aleu.html

    I have never seen such desperation and lies in Australian politics in all my life.

    Terrence, have no fear, there is no way that Scummo can win this election. by this time in 2019 Scummo’s vote was increasing and Shorten’s falling.

    5 days out from this election and there has been no movement in the polls for the last 2 weeks with Labor still leading 54.5% to Coal-NP 45.5% in the 2 party preferred vote.

    With preferences, Antony Green’s Election Calculator is predicting 89 seats Labor, 56 Coal-NP and 6 Independent seats and others.
    Similar margin in the Senate.

    Why else would they be coming up with the deperate bullshit that Scummo and COAL-NP will chage.
    There is no fuckin chance of that ever happening. Scummo will never change.
    The only way to get change for the better is to vote Scummo and COAL-NP out of office.

  11. corvusboreus

    Albos Elbow,
    Cheers, but that was more of an irritating tooth grind than a ‘good laugh’

    My main takeaway:
    It is predictable that a Lib member would seek to continue the use of K Kitching’s death as a political weapon.
    It is also interesting that a member of the opposing party viewed her as a ‘star parliamentary performer’.
    Most notable, however, is the omission of the fact that the late Ms Kitching was booted from further ALP tactics committee duties due the fact that she chose to leak likely ALP tactics to a senior coalition minister.

    ‘They pulled my security clearance just because I slipped some tactical secrets to the enemy intelligence…MEAN GURLZ!’

  12. wam

    We are who we are because, as lord often says, we care about everyone. Personally the exceptions are those who are rich enough to rort.
    Albo et al are also carers.
    Scummo knows the ropes and will attempt to hide the caring facet from the election by any avoidance methods, like ‘teal’, he can employ.
    ps
    Elbone how are the polls going?

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