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The Killing of Women and Children must stop

I’m putting the call out for a National March of Men against domestic violence.

No more can we decent men just stand safely in the background behind the effort of women to end the scourge of domestic violence. We have to get out there as a gender and stand against the criminality and the terrorism of our fellows.

While I see this March as a male initiative called something like The March of Decent Men (on FB under that tentative heading)both men and women would be welcome to march together on the day … in fact such a coming together may well prove to be a very powerful thing for our society to witness … if this March can be organised. As men though I think we need to be prepared to get out there and stand up against the daily tide of violence and murder perpetrated by far too many of our fellow men. We MUST repudiate the repression of women, the attacks on women, and the ongoing attempts to manipulate and control and diminish the lives of women. This should have happened a long time ago, but it did not. So now is the time for it to happen.

The events in Brisbane a few days ago should have scoured the soul of every decent man. It is time for us to rise up and say THIS CRIMINALITY, THIS KILLING, THIS TERRORISM, MUST END, AND MUST END NOW.

I’m prepared to. Are you as a man?

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24 comments

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  1. Keitha Granville

    Well done. Most of the country knows that most of the men in this country are decent, so get out there and prove it.

    The next step is for the country to put a stop to a crime called Domestic Violence. It’s just plain common assault, manslaughter, rape and murder. No excuse, no fancy reason or name. Just a crime like any other by a any random person.

    Perhaps then spouses, both sexes, will realise that they won’t get a pass or any special treatment.

  2. Josephus

    Recently a friend told me this:
    After a spousal assault due in part to delusions wife sought help from a nurse manager. He told her to stay with a friend a while, then go back to him, forgive him. She replied that there was a history of violence, against her person ten times in four decades, that she was now getting old and needed to leave for good. Nurse manager replied that there was nothing wrong with spouse, that the diagnosis of dementia was invented, that wife had no right to refuse him their home. Wife was told that ten assaults in 40 years was not much. She left home and went to the city. Spouse is now locked up in a secure dementia wing and has assaulted other inmates, er care home residents.
    Wife has since read that nurses are not required to take courses on family violence, nor taught respect for women or even for the law.
    This is a disgrace. She is still traumatised about what she went through for several weeks.

  3. Pingback: The Killing of Women and Children must stop #newsoz.org #auspol - News Oz

  4. Kathryn

    Well done, Keith Thomas Davis. With at least one woman dying through domestic violence in Australia EVERY SINGLE WEEK, the wholesale slaughter of our women is out of control. Sadly, the brutal, callously inhumane misogynists in the LNP don’t give a rat’s arse and, clearly, the police are shrugging it off with appalling statements trivialising domestic violence and even resorting to victim blaming! This country will NEVER escape the mantle of toxic masculinity until good, kind, honest men (such as yourself) STAND UP, SPEAK OUT and PROTEST against the appalling thuggery, bullying and abuse (sexual, financial, psychological and physical) against vulnerable women. Thank you for being that person xx

  5. Kaye Lee

    Why do some people think violence is a justifiable response when they feel hurt? What if we all reacted that way when we felt hurt? No-one goes through life without pain. Hurting others can never help that pain.

  6. wam

    In 2014 I got a share and it popped up again recently and I reshared it to my mob, (I included lord. )But my feed seems to have hidden it.
    It was from a bloke who takes flowers and a present to his ex on her birthday. His explanation was that they have two boys and he wants them to realise that enmity is not a necessary part of separation.
    What an example he should have got the aust day honour given to bettina arndt.
    The absence of statistics of the religions of murder/suicides makes old conspiracy tragics, like me, suspicious because the comments usually suggest he was such a nice man who adored his children.
    jealous possession is reason enough for some men to kill women who stray but no man could kill his children without a motive?
    God’s forgiveness, compassion and heaven could easily induce suicide in children and agg eternal bonking may provide the motive.
    The thought that a god forgives and even rewards men who kill women and children is a powerful force for atheism.
    The religious teaching of gender is the place to teach the end of violence towards women and children.

  7. paul walter

    Where angels fear to tread.

    I realise the policeman suspended was perhaps not subtle, but wasn’t he to some extent right?

    If he was not looking for an excuse to exonerate, what if his comments were just what they seemed: that for everyone’s good the incident had to be investigated meticulously?

    If investigations are not meticulous, how else is a body of knowledge and data to be assembled that identifies how a situation develops and where flashpoints occur that are not apparent just now, for future reference and action?

  8. pierre wilkinson

    meanwhile successive L/Nat governments have defunded refuges, cut counselling services, advised women to obey their husbands and otherwise made no effort to solve this problem, whilst simultaneously decrying the horror of DV related murders

  9. New England Cocky

    Perhaps Keith Davis, it is time to organise a “March Against the COALition non-policies” where entire families may express their disgust at the abysmally low standard of government policies and the preference of the misgovernment for destroying our Australian economy for the benefit of foreign owned multinational corporations.

    Something about “you learn a lot from your kids” comes to mind …..

  10. Terence Mills

    Like many men, fathers and partners trying to come to terms with this horrific situation I cannot imagine what brought it to this : I too understand what the police officer was trying to say and how even he as an experienced copper was struggling for appropriate words.

    In a mens’ shed type group on Friday we struggled to find any rationale for this behaviour beyond the possibility of drugs or steroid use which in themselves are not ever an excuse but could help in our comprehension of how this type of violence comes about.

    Perhaps we can all learn from this tragedy as more facts are revealed.

  11. John

    As far as I know the problem is getting worse every year.
    Violence against women and children has always been a universal phenomenon – especially in father-knows-best patriarchal cultures which are essentially a form of individual and collective psychosis. It is sanctioned by most of our cultural “authorities”.
    Check out the book by David Lesser titled Women, Men & the Whole Damn Thing in which he provides a comprehensive analysis of this deep-seated problem

  12. wam

    sorry waltz your idea of what he was trying to say is not what he said.
    He believes what he said because the words reflect the culture in our men’s clubs at every level of our society
    What did your shed say of Anthony Harvey, Damien Little, Dwayne Lindsey, or any of the thousands of men who murdered women and children in our life time not including the mass murders by religious zealots seeking direct entry into heaven and the gift of a working penis’

    “I wonder what part the women played in these murders”, springs to the mind of religious conservatives?

    Have you heard that in your shed or do you hear, as albo said this morning, this is not an isolated case this is institutionalised murder and nothing less. There is no ”he must have been provoked’, no ‘he loved and adored his kids’

    The cause lies in society and the solution lies in religion acceptance of equality and that the man in god’s image includes women.

  13. wam

    kaye,
    watch tv for the answer as to violence as an outlet for frustration.
    Every sitcom shows people smashing things bashing walls yelling and screaming these are depicted as the norm.
    I remember an australian actor driving to the school bashing a 16 years of boy to the ground who insulted her daughter and her 13 year son kicked him. The movie violence is realer than the real violence of the news

  14. Terence Mills

    We saw an example of the culture at the private boy’s school, St Kevins’ ; not only the grooming issue but the demeaning of women by chanting directed by the older boys and demanding that younger boys participate. It happens in almost every private boys school and is tolerated and encouraged by principals and staff as part of a misguided tradition.

    No wonder that the Principal and Deputy had to resign. Now they have to tackle the culture.

  15. Brendon Flynn

    It’s all well and good to say that violence against women by Men needs to stop. If course it does, as does all forms of violence. No matter what the penalty, and how much education we provide, there will always be those that still will do the wrong thing. Placing responsibility for recognising signs of impending violence to the mates of the perpetrator is all well and good also, but the signs can be difficult to recognise.

  16. Patagonian

    PW I think that is what the copper was trying to say, he was just extraordinarily clumsy. It was right for DV groups to call it out, and it should never happen again. It was the correct move to take him off the case because had they not, the investigation would inevitably be perceived by some to be tainted.

    I think he looked shell-shocked at the media conference. For all we know he may have attended the scene and even if he didn’t, he would have had the details. He would also be aware that the family had been in contact with the police for several months beforehand, and he would also be dealing with the devastated family.

    We need to remember the effect these horrific events have on the police and other first responders. For the police it is not just the attendance at the scene, it is all the work that comes after it – and it must be meticulous. It is incredibly demanding, emotionally harrowing work.

    For example, in the Claremont serial killer case there were hundreds of thousands of pieces of evidence, all of which had to be checked twice to ensure the chain of evidence was unbroken. The pressure to get it right is enormous.

    However there is definitely room for improvement in how the police approach crimes perpetrated against women by men. There are definitely some who hold antediluvian attitudes toward women and other minority groups.

    I remember one copper who told me that most reported rapes are made by women who have cheated on their spouses and are scared they’ll be found out, so they report that they have been sexually assaulted to cover it up. This is of course absolute rubbish and is completely destroyed by the facts, but imagine for a moment that you got him as the officer investigating your sexual assault?

  17. wam

    desert and rierra del fuedo ( my impossible dream)
    you have described a segment of the culture of the police force as an entity.
    Ash them about women in the armed forces
    Ask them about the yuendumu shooting
    Ask them about depriving unions of activities the police association retains
    Ask them about Aborigines
    go to their websites and see the opinions shared.
    Then reflect on. paul walter:
    ‘but wasn’t he to some extent right?’ No, his words and the thought behind them are not right only some muslim countries have honour murders.
    Only some countries excuse the bashing and beheading on the way women dress only some films trivialise rape but subcultures hold such ideas?

  18. paul walter

    Agree with everything you said Patagonian.

    These things must be isolated and treated and it comes with the synchronic and diachronic accumulation, individual cases and comparisons of data and deep analysis, then the will to put programs devised into place.

    We actually may have been close to that stage, but look at the damage by chip on the shoulder cranks like Tony Abbott and Alan Jones, so forth, did to rouse the almost slumbering beast of victimhood/ entitlement…social policy equivalent of climate change denial, divisive.

  19. Keith Davis

    Thanks everyone for your comments. Right now I am reaching out for contacts with some experienced national groups (it will all take some organising) because it will take quite a coalition of people to raise this issue from the thought to action level. I envision a grass-roots movement that covers the local, state, and national level.

  20. roma guerin

    Keith, thank you. That is a very positive way for men to publicly say that they too are outraged and appalled. Too often, the yet-another-murder syndrome calls forth cries of “not all men!” on social media or letters to the editor, and this goes nowhere near what is required. Somebody started a white ribbon movement, but this got lost in the multitude of ribbon-wearing causes. I think you are brave to take this on and I sincerely hope that it makes a difference.

  21. wam

    dear patagonia and paul,
    I notice bettina knew what the copper’s words meant and one lnp woman expressed her disgust and called for bettina’s award to be returned..
    ps
    kaye did you see the ch 7 scroll that newspoll is back on smirko’s mob and love their climate change.
    That may not be what they mean but that is what they say.

  22. Brozza

    36 years ago, my then girlfriend told me that if I ever hit her, she’d leave me.
    36 years later, still very much happily married to a wonderful lady.
    We never smacked our child either.
    Victim blaming is what bogans do.

  23. paul walter

    Wam, disturbing to see you citing someone like the maiden Arndt as verification for your interpretation;

    Arndt is the sort of person who makes me that much more confident as to my reading of it.

  24. wam

    when andt was recognised for an aussie honour I was horrified when she agrees with you and the shed boys I couldn’t contain my criticism of anyone who supports the copper words by accepting the sentiment..
    Sadly the boys at the pub on my once a week session, the 19th and the clp retirees on my page are of the mind that the loving wife who bore his 3 lovely children had triggered the attack.
    But who cares lets be fair and dispassionate and ‘isolate’ is academia the copper is not an individual he speaks as of his society, arndt’s speaks in her belief and you interpret both in yours.
    For me it starts at the most basic when everything good is denoted male.
    That silly woman, sam on sunrise (or karl baby or in the shed??) picks up a little female puppy and says isn’t he lovely makybediva and winx are given ‘he’ and ends with you and bettina with slightly different paragraphs but in the same book as the police culture.. ,
    It doesn’t matter you have your truth of the matter and I am just expressing my truth that your truth is part of the problem.

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