As we all know, I’m a bit of a hermit. Which makes me somewhat of a specialist at the social distancing thing. Handy these days. But, on occasion, I do foray out.
Went to my local supermarket this morning. Could not believe my eyes. Right in front of me were the products of one of the finest education systems on the planet, otherwise called people, biffing each other up over … of all things … bog paper.
What is it about bog paper?
Most people like me who are solely reliant on the old age pension, and let’s not forget those struggling along on the lower levelled Newstart, cannot usually afford luxury goods like that. I’ve always thought that a soft spray from the garden hose accompanied by a judicious swish around the pucker point from gently swirling fingers was all that was required. Very cheap. Doesn’t clog the drains. Still! I walked away from the supermarket in a state of thoughtful mind.
Perhaps the frenzied masses obviously knew something that I was totally ignorant of? If you don’t have thirty years worth of bog paper squirrelled away in your survival bunker/pantry then you’re simply gonna die!
Gosh, I thought. I don’t have thirty years worth of bog paper squirrelled away anywhere. I don’t even have two hours worth. Gosh, I’m gonna die!
The worries then became exponential, which means they get bigger and bigger real quick. If thirty years worth of bog rolls would protect me from Coronavirus, would forty years worth protect me from cyclones and tsunamis? Would fifty years worth protect me from the ravages of nuclear war? Maybe I should build my whole house out of toilet rolls and bunker down inside?
No.
It is a little stupid of people to think that bog rolls can do anything other than be bog rolls. If we ever do have to seriously consider bending over and kissing our arses goodbye due to a calamity of biblical proportions – it only takes a couple of sheets to make all things nether presentable. But I still say the hose is cheaper.
Panic buying is dumbness personified.
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