I was about to start a petition with the beginning:
“While some selfish women are pushing for the abolition of the GST on tampons – a move that would only benefit a minority – we need to back the inclusive idea of Liberal, Stuart Robert, and abolish the GST on super yachts who come to Australia and wish to charter. After all, while the abolition of the tampon tax will only benefit women, anyone can own a super yacht.”
My wife objected, telling me that people were likely to take me seriously.
“So what?” I asked.
“Well, you might get unwanted attention.”
I nodded. She was right, of course. If I put up a petition like that, before I knew it, I could find myself being asked to stand for the Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party…
While it’s appealing to think that I could join them, get elected and then do something radical. I suspect that if I was elected as a PHON senator, I’d behave like all the rest of them and leave the party within months of being sworn in.
Anyway, until I heard Stuart Robert speaking, I was all set to write about the IPA’s book detailing the terrible cost of red tape to Australia, which is apparently costing $176 billion a year.
Now, I suspect that it would be better to have read the book before commenting, because I’d like to see how they came up with the figure. I mean. $176 billion. That’s nearly as much I’d be worth if I were paid what I estimate my salary should be. It’s even more than men don’t spend on tampons if we estimate what men would spend on tampons if they needed to. I mean it’s probably enough to buy enough super yachts to house the homeless. It’s a big number. If you divide it by every man, woman and child, not only will you get a smaller number but you’ll get a number that’s still likely to be enough to impress you if you were suddenly given it by a government desparate to be re-elected. It would be $7067 each which, given we can live on $40 a day, would enable someone to live 178 days.
But I’m not going to read it because I suspect that – like me – they just plucked their numbers out of thin air.
It’s not laziness that prevents me from reading it; it’s that bloody red tape which prevents me just going into a book shop, picking up the book and walking out with out. Because of the restrictive laws requiring me to pay, I’m unable to able to give you a full critique of the book. Imagine what book sales would be like if they abolished this silly law… Well, maybe not sales, but we’d certainly have greater volumes of turnover in book stores. It’d make the money we’re not making from the Adani mine pale into insignificance…
Ah, Adani. Apparently, just like my problem with obtaining the book without actually parting with any money, the only reason that Adani hasn’t started the mine now is because nobody else will actually allow them to use other people’s money and just take any revenue. If we could just get rid of the ridiculous requirements that they actually have finance in place, we could get people working on it. In fact, we could probably get it started tomorrow, if it wasn’t for the ridiculous idea that workers need to be paid!
Yes, let’s get behind the IPA and their attempts to eliminate red tape. We could get rid of all those ridiculous regulations that prevent banks from charging dead people or falsifying documents. Or silly laws that insist builders don’t use materials that make residences a health or fire risk.
And we could eliminate those silly rules requiring unions to seek permission to strike… Oh wait, that’s not red tape, that’s just preventing lawlessness.