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Stuart Robert And The Only Question Worth Asking Now…

Ok, I have this slightly absurd concept and I may get back to it later.


I’ve been stopped in my tracks by this whole superannuation tax broken promise thing and the Stella performance of Angus Taylor now. Ok that should be “stellar” but after the typo I couldn’t help but think of Marlon Brando and his performance in “Streetcar Named Desire” where he calls out “STELLA!” so loudly that it rips his shirt and it’s certainly worth an Oscar for Angus’s acting performance… which sort of begs the question about the question I said that I’d get back to later…

I realise that – just as the Labor Party have chosen to extract retribution on the Liberals with this Robodebt RC – once the Liberals get back in power, they’ll probably have a Royal Commission into Superannuation changes…

Counsel Assisting: So, you were someone affecting by these changes. How did affect you?

Witness: Well, I had to pay more tax.

Counsel Assisting: And how did that affect you?

Witness: This is hard, for me…

Counsel Assisting: Take your time.

Witness: I wondered if I should sell my yacht or disinherit one of my children… I mean if I kick my middle child out of home, we’ll save thousands on his school fees alone but my wife feels like it would be wrong to single out one child but I rather like the youngest so I rejected the idea of treating them all equally.

Counsel Assisting: And which of those did you decide to do?

Witness: It’s still something I need to decide but the pressure is growing and if I don’t do something soon, by the year 2039, I’ll have less money and … I’m sorry. My father bought me that yacht and…

Yeah, class envy notwithstanding, I can’t help but feel that this won’t have the same potential kick in the arse that things like a blind 90yo plus woman thinking she’d have to sell her couch to pay the debt, might have had. Certainly there’d be more outrage if any media organisation had reported it with the same repetitive cacophony that they attacked the whole Pink Batts thing…

Of course, people died with the Pink Batts thing and that was definitely Labor’s fault but with the suicides from Robodebt, as Alan Tudge said, “Who know if it was being kicked that led someone jumping out of bed, and who knows what causes someone to take their own life and who knows what causes a Liberal politician to pretend that they’re still with their wife once they’ve lost their seat which of course isn’t me because I resigned rather than show my face and look at Kooyong now you don’t have someone with family values like Barnaby Joyce as the local member…”

Ok, that may not be a direct quote but that’s what we’ve decided to run with and, as a member of Cabinet it’s my responsibility to back up their lies… Although, as Brother Robert said, “With respect, Commissioner, I wouldn’t put it like that.”

Personally, the only time I’ve ever used the phrase, “with respect”, it’s because it would have been inappropriate to use the words, “you” and “fuck”. Though not necessarily in that order…

Of course, Stewie wouldn’t put it like that!

The way that Commissioner Holmes paraphrased him made it sound like giving inaccurate information was the same as misleading the public, whereas Robert wouldn’t put it like that because saying it as clearly as Commissioner Holmes did, could give the public the right idea.

Anyway, I actually watched Angus Taylor on “Insiders” yesterday…

You know how it is when there’s some sort of accident, you know that you should look away but some part of you compels you to check, just in case you were imagining it and, “Nah, that actually happened…”!

Shame on me for watching. I feel like I’m some sort of voyeur…

The issue isn’t whether it’s a good idea or good policy or consistent with what Angus may or may not have said at some past or future time, the issue is that the Labor Party gave an ironclad, rolled gold guarantee…

Ok, maybe not that was, I seem to remember Tony Abbott as Health Minister in the “Never Ever” GST Howard government…

In the end the problem is not that politicians break promises, the issue is that we somehow stop them from governing by trying to trip them up at every opportunity.

It works like this:

  • The Greens have a lot of excellent ideas that they can prosecute because it won’t lose them government.
  • Labor have a lot of very good ideas that they can’t enact because Rupert Murdoch doesn’t approve.
  • The Liberals have several ideas that may work but they’ll vote against their own idea if Labor suggests it.
  • The Nationals haven’t had an idea this century.
  • One Nation is so full of ideas that they’ve recruited an ex-Labor failure to the tweet them regularly. The only problem is that almost none of their ideas are workable.

I suspect that we might get better outcomes if Parliamentary votes were conducted by secret ballot. Although that could lead to the situation where the Opposition argue vehemently against a Bill, only to have us discover that all but four MPs actually opposed it.

While the prevailing view in the media is that Labor will lose some skin over their alleged broken election promise, I suspect that the public don’t care that much about politicians keeping their election commitments. Most voters would prefer competent government and understand that there are two sorts of broken promise. The first is when you announce an intention but changing circumstances mean that you have to change your mind. For example, if someone promised their kids a holiday to Hawaii but there was suddenly a work emergency they might have to break their promise. The second is when you promise something with no intention of carrying it out. “Yes, I won’t go out drinking with the boys even if we do win the premiership. I promise I’ll be home in time to say good-bye to your aunt who has been staying with us for the past week…”

Most voters would find the first type of broken promise forgivable and the second understandable but dishonest.

And while Newspoll may not always get it right, I wonder if the latest figures showing significant support for the super changes will lead to the Coalition quietly moving onto something else to oppose.

But as for the only question worth asking:

“I hear what you’re saying, Mr X, but is it true are you lying because solidarity demands it?”


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  1. Harry Lime

    Another highly entertaining article.I forced myself to watch that interview,only because it was Taylor, and you just knew it would be a vomit enducing performance,and boy,he delivered in spades.You’ve got to wonder if he’s the full quid,or maybe he is convinced that the Australian population is 100% stupid.Oherwise, it was an excellent dress rehearsal for leader of the Opposition for a party that he’s doing his best to kill.Well done, Angus.

  2. David Evans

    Anus taylor……? Nah.

  3. Craig Daniels

    It’s beyond ironic when Robert runs a variation on the Nuremberg defence and chucks solidarity into the mix.

  4. Canguro

    Harry Lime, hats off for persistence. I read your post, and although not a TV viewer, winkled my way through ABC’s iview to the Angus interview. I lasted less than 2 minutes of Mr. Inane’s defense of his position before bailing. I guess that doesn’t do much for my credibility as a balanced and objective observer but them’s the breaks.

  5. Harry Lime

    Thanks Canguro,and thats Inducing,not fucking enducing,I’ll stand in the corner for 5 minutz.

  6. Michael Taylor

    Ah, poor Stuart. He will be remembered as one of history’s greatest idiots.

    He’s that incompetent that if he tried to throw himself onto the ground … he’d miss. (I stole that bit from Twitter).

  7. leefe

    It’s a broken promise in the same way that Gillard’s price on carbon was. In other words, not.

  8. Terence Mills

    I think I know why Stuart Robert is such a f**kwit.

    Do you remember how Susan Ley changed her name by adding another ‘S’. She said :

    “I read about this numerology theory that if you add the numbers that match the letters in your name you can change your personality,” she told The Australian.

    “I worked out that if you added an ‘s’ I would have an incredibly exciting, interesting life and nothing would every be boring. It’s that simple.

    “And once I’d added the ‘s’ it was really hard to take it away.”

    So perhaps Stuart Robert should have added an ‘S’ to his name – maybe there was an ‘S’ and it was mislaid or lost !

    PS : On the subject of names have a look at this Rowan Atkinson interview with Elton John :

  9. totaram

    Michael Taylor: If I didn’t read it here I would not have believed it: Imagine throwing yourself on the ground and missing!!
    Truly worth remembering!

  10. Rossleigh

    Actually, it’s from Douglas Adams who said that the way to fly was to throw yourself on the ground and miss…
    This also explains how Stuart Robert rose to such heights that people are amazed.

  11. K

    Rossleigh, bang on! Love the Douglas Adams reference. Although, the word “appalled” springs to mind more so than amazed… when it comes to Brother Stewie.

  12. Michael Taylor

    I saw a different one, Rossleigh.

    Both are hilarious.

  13. New England Cocky

    I can understand the mirth of the above comments but seriously, will any of these COALition Ministers for Misgovernment ever be held to account for their maladministration in any Court of law leading to well deserved jail time for corruption, or misleading Parliament and the Australian voters?

  14. GL

    Only the LNP can save us. Help us LNP, we need you.

    Saint Super Scummo, please fly down from the top of your ego and rescue us because you are so big and strong and just so super at trying to rewrite (with much help from the main sleaze media) history. You are the super hero ‘straya needs now more than ever.

  15. GL

    A short review: History of the World, Part 2 is painfully unfunny so far.

  16. Paul Flanagan

    It comes from an old joke I heard as a kid. Did you hear about the Irish parachutist…he missed the Earth. I’m 71.

  17. Canguro

    It’s unsurprising, to be frank. And that’s not even my name, Frank, but it’ll do for now. To be frank, it’s unsurprising how off-kilter everything is, and how offkilterland has become so… normalised.

    Sussan Ley, the Deputy leader of the Liberal Party appeared in parliament today in a sheer black chiffon, her head swathed & topped by a garish blonde wig, channeling Tina Turner – all for a good cause, that of fund raising for cancer – but still, is it that I’m finally getting it that I’m getting old, I dunno, but I thought parliament was supposed to be a place where adults behaved like, well, like adults, engaged in the serious business of governance. Silly me! Where have I been all these years? Just another ostrich, I guess.

    I should have paid more attention. The clues were there for all to see; Scotty with his lump of coal, the Beetrooter, red-faced and aslumber after a lunchtime session, the classic image of a drunken louche, Tony Abbott & Christopher Pyne bolting for the exit from the chamber to avoid voting alongside exiled Labor MP Craig Thomson, and more, so many more examples of men & women behaving like children… who often don’t know better, or worse, teenagers, who do. Parliament as circus entertainment, and f^ck the consequences; Robodebt …. pfff. Doesn’t matter that tens of thousands of citizens are illegally targeted. AUKUS…pfff. Doesn’t matter that the leader of this country lies to the leader of a major ally and does considerable damage to this country’s reputation. Multiple ministries… pfff – they’ll never find out. Gay orgies in the prayer room…pfff The bloody room never gets used anyway, so may as well use it for circle jerks. An alleged rape in the Defence Minister’s office…pfff. Nothing to see here… move on. I could go on, but you get the point, surely… which is, how actually fit for office are these people who claim to represent us, who ask for our vote, and who enjoy the highest levels of privilege in public office and beyond?

    And now, today, in the Fairfax paper the Sydney Morning Herald, no, correction, in the Channel Nine controlled Fairfax paper (51% Nine Entertainment Co, 49% Fairfax shareholders) we see a lead article, as linked above in GL’s post, that suggests we’re off to war against China in three year’s time. Off kilter, to be even suggesting we’re up for a barney with the dragon. Militarily; Australia is <60,000, China is around 2 million. Madness, to even be suggesting it. Paul Keating is not amused.

    Neither am I. But then I’m only an ostrich, and not a politician or a respected defence analyst; an expert who feels it’s his (generally these types are he’s and not she’s, the she’s don’t really get too excited about the prospect of a bit of biffo) duty to waffleise on about how this build up and that development and who flung dung means it’s inevitable according to the tea leaves at the bottom of the cup that war will break out any time soon. Yay! A war! How exciting! Except they aren’t… they are naught but yet another tragic reminder of the innate stupidity of mankind and its obdurate reluctance to grow up and act in a mature manner.

    Truth be told, what goes on between China & Taiwan is none of our fucking business, but given we’re the tail of the dog wagged by the greatest threat to planetary civilization, our primary ally across the Pacific, we’re no doubt going to jump in the ring against Godzilla, knowing full well we’re going to get thrashed along with the Australian economy for an unforseeable time into the unforseeable future. Jeez, how stupid is that?

  18. Harry Lime

    You can be Frank,Canguro, and I’ll be Earnest,although my name is neither Earnest nor Harry.But I concur with your legitimate gripes.Anyone who is not asleep is alarmed by the mountains of bullshit that are building up around us.I could scarcely believe the rubbish in the SMH and Age,it’s as if we’re being conditioned into thinking war with China is inevitable.Does Costello condone this lunacy?
    Because we have had a succession of mediocre and timid ‘leaders’,we now find ourselves asking how high? when Uncle Sam says’jump’
    The cartels of transnational,tax dodging corporations are no different to the criminal oligarchs who control governments,and thereby the fate of the planet,and whose only motives are profit and greed.But shit,good for shareholders and the favoured camp followers.
    Not to worry,though,the winter tribal sports are cranking up,we have a bottomless pit of mind crunching garbage on TV,and better still, we can’bet with mates’.
    Fuck me.

  19. Benjamin

    @David Evans, don’t you mean he’s an … Angry Anus ?


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